Her husband has a mustache and she wrote to an advice column

[153]

This was posted today, and I wasn't sure whether to share it under Mustachianism around the Web or here, but since the letter and response struck me as absurd (although moreso the former), I went with here.


http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_retired_young_and_goofs_off_all_day.single.html

[senecando]

> He has not found anything to do in that time! We have an excellent nanny 40 hours a week, and outside those hours my husband is an extremely involved father.

Insane. Does he hang around at home at watch the nanny play with his kid?

[ace1224]

i wondered that too.  that would be my only gripe about the whole thing.  he should watch the kid

[153]

I thought that bit was strange.


Maybe he has the mentality that I always associate with Europeans, that if he has the means he's being selfish by not spending them on gainful employment for others.

Maybe I posted it here hoping he's a forum member!

[jimmymango]

I was actually impressed by Prudence's answer. I was expecting her to scold, but she was quite...prudent (go figure).

I especially liked that she advised the wife to decide whether she should even be working, as it really was a choice at that point because of their collective wealth.

I'm surprised that the wife didn't see the wealth as an opportunity to do what she has always wanted.

[Forcus]

My Ferrari needs exercised and I don't have anywhere to stack my gold!! Oh, the problems of the first world.

[Jamesqf]

Does he hang around at home at watch the nanny play with his kid?

Maybe he hangs around the house and plays with the nanny :-)

[TrulyStashin]

Prudence fakes her letters.

I've grown convinced of that as I've watched the submissions that she publishes.  Every column features several that are simply absurd.

[jfer_rose]

Prudence fakes her letters.

I've grown convinced of that as I've watched the submissions that she publishes.  Every column features several that are simply absurd.

Sometimes I'll think the same thing and then another advice columnist will respond to the same letter too! It's happened a couple of times that I've noticed.

[okashira]

The next one is a real doozy.

About a year ago, my mother temporarily transferred a financial asset of hers into my bank account in order to escape a tax issue. Now she's asking me transfer the asset back to her. This is impossible seeing as how I've spent it. It will take a few years to pay her back. We have only recently established a good relationship. Mom was largely absent during my childhood and I carried a lot of anger; she is a self-described difficult and "hard" person. A few years ago I made a conscious effort to start fresh with her. I reached out and we keep up by phone but we haven't seen each other in a few years. We’re getting together for Thanksgiving where she'll meet my child, her only grandchild, for the first time. She said she wants to do the asset transfer then. I'm terrified at the thought of confessing this huge betrayal and jeopardizing our newly established relationship. Should I wait to tell until after she's at least met my child? I doubt we'll go from the airport straight to the bank, so I'd probably have at least a day or two before having to drop the bomb. Or do I come clean before the visit? I think she would cancel and probably would not speak to me for quite some time.

[huadpe]

The next one is a real doozy.

About a year ago, my mother temporarily transferred a financial asset of hers into my bank account in order to escape a tax issue. Now she's asking me transfer the asset back to her. This is impossible seeing as how I've spent it. It will take a few years to pay her back. We have only recently established a good relationship. Mom was largely absent during my childhood and I carried a lot of anger; she is a self-described difficult and "hard" person. A few years ago I made a conscious effort to start fresh with her. I reached out and we keep up by phone but we haven't seen each other in a few years. We’re getting together for Thanksgiving where she'll meet my child, her only grandchild, for the first time. She said she wants to do the asset transfer then. I'm terrified at the thought of confessing this huge betrayal and jeopardizing our newly established relationship. Should I wait to tell until after she's at least met my child? I doubt we'll go from the airport straight to the bank, so I'd probably have at least a day or two before having to drop the bomb. Or do I come clean before the visit? I think she would cancel and probably would not speak to me for quite some time.

Sounds like a fun time at their house!

That said, what were you thinking spending the fraudulent money?!  There is a very sad ending to this coming in a few years involving very nasty IRS collections agents, and possibly handcuffs.

[senecando]

The next one is a real doozy.

About a year ago, my mother temporarily transferred a financial asset of hers into my bank account in order to escape a tax issue. Now she's asking me transfer the asset back to her. This is impossible seeing as how I've spent it. It will take a few years to pay her back. We have only recently established a good relationship. Mom was largely absent during my childhood and I carried a lot of anger; she is a self-described difficult and "hard" person. A few years ago I made a conscious effort to start fresh with her. I reached out and we keep up by phone but we haven't seen each other in a few years. We’re getting together for Thanksgiving where she'll meet my child, her only grandchild, for the first time. She said she wants to do the asset transfer then. I'm terrified at the thought of confessing this huge betrayal and jeopardizing our newly established relationship. Should I wait to tell until after she's at least met my child? I doubt we'll go from the airport straight to the bank, so I'd probably have at least a day or two before having to drop the bomb. Or do I come clean before the visit? I think she would cancel and probably would not speak to me for quite some time.

Sell the baby to the grandmother. Is it that difficult?

This sounds insane to people who don't post on personal finance forums, too, right?

[Angelfishtitan]

The next one is a real doozy.

"Hmm...who should I temporarily transfer some of my assets to? Oh! How about the daughter I left behind as a child and who only stopped hating me a year or so ago? I mean, I've yet to actually meet her in person again, but she must be great with money just like me. I mean, spending someone else's money doesn't count if its the government's."

If this is the kind of thought process her mother was going through then I am not sure how she expects to keep her tax fraud secret from the IRS.

[the fixer]

I don't see the first one as anti-Mustachian at all. If they can truly afford a nanny, so be it. I think Prudence is spot on, surprisingly. Entering a period of long sabbaticals after working like mad can leave people in a temporary "fuck it all" state, but eventually equilibrium should be reached and the guy will find new ways to be productive and contribute to society. I have personally experienced this, although I wasn't an asshole about it like this guy...

[Jamesqf]

The next one is a real doozy.

The answer is even better :-)

Then there is the one from the woman whose husband was having an affair with the nanny, so she fired the nanny and divorced him, but now she wants to re-hire the nanny...

[mpbaker22]

The next one is a real doozy.

About a year ago, my mother temporarily transferred a financial asset of hers into my bank account in order to escape a tax issue. Now she's asking me transfer the asset back to her. This is impossible seeing as how I've spent it. It will take a few years to pay her back. We have only recently established a good relationship. Mom was largely absent during my childhood and I carried a lot of anger; she is a self-described difficult and "hard" person. A few years ago I made a conscious effort to start fresh with her. I reached out and we keep up by phone but we haven't seen each other in a few years. We’re getting together for Thanksgiving where she'll meet my child, her only grandchild, for the first time. She said she wants to do the asset transfer then. I'm terrified at the thought of confessing this huge betrayal and jeopardizing our newly established relationship. Should I wait to tell until after she's at least met my child? I doubt we'll go from the airport straight to the bank, so I'd probably have at least a day or two before having to drop the bomb. Or do I come clean before the visit? I think she would cancel and probably would not speak to me for quite some time.

Sounds like a fun time at their house!

That said, what were you thinking spending the fraudulent money?!  There is a very sad ending to this coming in a few years involving very nasty IRS collections agents, and possibly handcuffs.

My guess is it was loophole money, not fraudulent.  She probably escaped taxes legitimately, but now lost the money.  Oh the irony.

[Angelfishtitan]

My guess is it was loophole money, not fraudulent.  She probably escaped taxes legitimately, but now lost the money.  Oh the irony.

About a year ago, my mother temporarily transferred a financial asset of hers into my bank account in order to escape a tax issue.

Sounds gray to me, especially since "your daughter" is not an appropriate temporary tax shelter. Her daughter spending it however is quite the twist of cosmic irony.

[Cinder]

Even if the daughter hadn't spent it, wouldn't some of the tax issues just shift to gift tax when it was given back?  I think we need more info about it!

[huadpe]

Even if the daughter hadn't spent it, wouldn't some of the tax issues just shift to gift tax when it was given back?  I think we need more info about it!

While we would all like more info about it, I think both mother and daughter would be best served by exercising their 5th amendment right to remain silent.

[ch12]

I don't see the first one as anti-Mustachian at all. If they can truly afford a nanny, so be it. I think Prudence is spot on, surprisingly. Entering a period of long sabbaticals after working like mad can leave people in a temporary "fuck it all" state, but eventually equilibrium should be reached and the guy will find new ways to be productive and contribute to society. I have personally experienced this, although I wasn't an asshole about it like this guy...

Seconded - if I had enough money, I'd hire a nanny, too. He's still 50-50 with his wife. I don't think that child care is a punishment, so I don't think that he should use the idea of being "penalized," but I am planning on hiring a nanny if I can afford one. I've thought frequently about hiring a stay-at-home mom while her children are in school from 9-2. Five hours a day to pursue business interests, reading, blogging, etc. would be completely adequate for my needs. Two of my colleagues are brand-new dads and they're still going through the sleepless, "everything is hard" phase. One of them, who used to be my office mate, said, "I used to read books. Now I'm lucky if I can read a cereal box." He's a PhD drop out who became a Barnes and Nobles manager and now is a stellar person at a job completely unrelated to his social sciences academic background.

From The Oatmeal: http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences4/kids

[lentilman]

Prudence fakes her letters.

I've grown convinced of that as I've watched the submissions that she publishes.  Every column features several that are simply absurd.

She might fake some, but there are plenty of people who will send in their own fake letters too.

I had a prof. who had a hobby of sending absurd letters to dear Abby and getting them published. (He swore it was harder to get published in Dear Abby than a scientific journal)

[oldtoyota]

The next one is a real doozy.

The answer is even better :-)

Then there is the one from the woman whose husband was having an affair with the nanny, so she fired the nanny and divorced him, but now she wants to re-hire the nanny...

This makes sense though. Husbands are easy to find. A good nanny is not.

[Nords]

This was posted today, and I wasn't sure whether to share it under Mustachianism around the Web or here, but since the letter and response struck me as absurd (although moreso the former), I went with here.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_retired_young_and_goofs_off_all_day.single.html

Heck, I see that angst all the time on forums:
http://the-military-guide.com/2013/06/10/im-setting-a-good-example-by-working-at-a-job/

[Daleth]

That letter writer with the Mustachian husband is a moron of the first class.

[paddedhat]

People please......

Twenty friken five replies, and the central question has never even been broached?  Is he, or is he not, shagging the nanny?  Well...........?  Enquiring minds want to know the whole story. Just imagine that she is quite young and delightful, and he is getting all "fifty shades" with a pile of ties and a feather duster, while burning up that 40 hour clock. Now gentle readers, has our moronic mustaschian lad really pulled off the perfect crime here? Metric shit- tons of cash, a forty hour gig as the assistant nanny, and a wife who works like a good little sheep, and doesn't really know why, or need the paycheck, but knows that it just twists her knickers in a knot, knowing that he doesn't give a flying fuck about any of it.

Interesting indeed.

[Left]

I thought he WAS the nanny :S

turned a 40 hour work week into 40 hours baby sitter... then a father outside of that 40 hours...

[ch12]

I thought he WAS the nanny :S

turned a 40 hour work week into 40 hours baby sitter... then a father outside of that 40 hours...

That's what happens to most SAHMs, but this guy hired a nanny. If he had not, then he would've taken on the "double shift" of most SAHPs.