Author Topic: Having a mustachian mindset sure leads to some awkward moments (2 examples)  (Read 14951 times)

Iceplant18

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Here's 2 quick convos I had in the last week that I just had to share (some details removed)....

1. 
Middle Aged Lady:  I need (X) product for my husband and I for traveling.  We're starting to live internationally.

Me:  Oooo that's interesting.  Where are you moving?

Middle Aged Lady:  We're moving to (xxxxx xxxxx)

Me:  I've never heard of it.

Middle Aged Lady:  It's an island in the Caribbean.  Very expensive.  *says with half smile*

Me:  Oh that sounds terrible.  Will you eventually get to move back?

Middle Aged Lady:  Actually we really like it there. 

Me:  Oh  :-/


2.
Younger Guy:  Hey is that your bike out there?

Me:  Yes it is.  :-)

Younger Guy:  That thing looks sweet.  See that car over there?

Me:  The shiny new lookin' one?

Younger Guy:  Yup.  My new V8 Camero.  Just picked it last week.  Only had 4 miles on the odometer.

Me:  Wow, did someone give that to you?

Younger Guy:  No I got a promotional 7 year financing.  They traded in my old car too even though I was upside down on it. 

Me:  Bummer.  How long will you have to own it for?

Younger Guy:  ..............

Me:  :-/

Adventine

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Middle Aged Lady is just clueless. Younger Guy is an asshole.

Southern Dude

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Here's an exchange I had with my buddy after lunch today:

Buddy:  Yo dude, hang on, I'm just gonna grab a Starbucks real quick.

Me:  Bro, are you serious? Haven't you been listening to any of the shit I've been telling you?

Buddy:  Yeah, but...

Me:  OK fine, let's go to Starbucks. As long as I can continue to enjoy ragging on you about being a consumer drone.

Buddy: I shall not stand for your mockery sir!...I shall have a smoothie instead.

jamccain

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Middle Aged Lady is just clueless. Younger Guy is an asshole.

I think young guy is clueless.  He probably doesn't know any better and just wants to meet girls, and look cool to the guys, and doesn't have a clue how to do this any other way. 

Middle aged lady thinks she's entitled to it, but is too polite to overtly brag, but not humble enough not to mention it. 

cerberusss

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Related to the coffee thing...

Friend: I was strolling through town and found the Starbucks that the guys were talking about!
Me: Oh man, really??
Friend: (British accent) Yes, I walked by and just sneered at them.

Nords

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Awkward moments? 

When our neighbors learn how frugal we are, they're afraid that we're going to ask them to borrow money.

My neighbor still can't understand why we'd ask for his grass clippings for our compost pile.  He just throws them out in his green waste.

Undecided

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Really it's the inability to understand or respect others' different views that makes for awkward moments.

Reepekg

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Beautiful Saturday in the park, and I'm walking away from a soccer field after a game in black soccer socks, cleats, etc. when some teenagers taking a break by the basketball courts struck up a conversation.

Teenager: Hey, did you guys win?

Me (thinking of the $60 in my pocket): I was the referee. I always win.

Teenagers: :-/ Oh.

Richard3

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Beautiful Saturday in the park, and I'm walking away from a soccer field after a game in black soccer socks, cleats, etc. when some teenagers taking a break by the basketball courts struck up a conversation.

Teenager: Hey, did you guys win?

Me (thinking of the $60 in my pocket): I was the referee. I always win.

Teenagers: :-/ Oh.

Ok, you're very clever, but how is this awkward?

happy

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Walk towards the work carpark with an expensive suited status conscious colleague. Nearly there when it was time for me to veer off down the hill where I street park my car (saving approx $300 a year). He looked unbelieving/incredulous until I muttered about it being my exercise for the day.

kudy

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me: I'm out of the office next week

them: where are you going?

me: I'll be in town, I'm ripping out my old shower and rebuilding it

them: oh..

I think the thought bubble over most people's heads during this conversation was somewhere between sad because they think I'm getting in over my head, and weirded out because I'm "wasting" vacation time. Hopefully some of the people understood my motivation :)

AlmostIndependent

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These moments are a mixture of funny, horrifying and shocking. I was out with some friends the other night and mentioned the idea of not being required to work to live. My statement was literally laughed at. When I said I was serious I got 5 totally blank stares and total silence.

MandyM

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A close friend (who knows my ER plans) wanted to brainstorm about his finances. We started talking about his expenses and he basically told me that the money he pours out for bars, restaurants, clothes, etc is non-negotiable. Because he wants to enjoy life...even though he has about $1K in credit card debt, plus student loans, plus a car loan. I just steered the conversation off topic; I can't help those who don't really want it.

AlmostIndependent

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That's another thing that gets me. People ask for help but when you tell them how you got where you are the response is "I could never not spend money on this or that." I suppose thats where we get the saying "if it's important you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse."

ender

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A close friend (who knows my ER plans) wanted to brainstorm about his finances. We started talking about his expenses and he basically told me that the money he pours out for bars, restaurants, clothes, etc is non-negotiable. Because he wants to enjoy life...even though he has about $1K in credit card debt, plus student loans, plus a car loan. I just steered the conversation off topic; I can't help those who don't really want it.

These conversations are the worst.

nktokyo

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A close friend (who knows my ER plans) wanted to brainstorm about his finances. We started talking about his expenses and he basically told me that the money he pours out for bars, restaurants, clothes, etc is non-negotiable. Because he wants to enjoy life...even though he has about $1K in credit card debt, plus student loans, plus a car loan. I just steered the conversation off topic; I can't help those who don't really want it.

These conversations are the worst.

Yeah. I get so drained.

KMMK

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Visiting with DH's brother last week was the worst. He has zero capacity for seeing another person's point of view and apparently also for rational thought.


First conversation we had about three times:

Him: You should buy a house.
Us: Here are the multiple personal and financial reasons that buying a house isn't a good choice for us right now.
Him: You should buy a house. Equity - blah blah blah.
Us: We will be able to early retire without buying a house (at 45-50 nonetheless, while he will still be working even though he'll have a 20-year military pension).
Him: You should buy a house.

2nd Conversation we had too many times:
Him: You should move to Alberta so you can make more money. (Addressing DH) - You could make $XXX,XXX.
Us: Well, with our current jobs we make $20,000-$30,000 more than X, so financially it makes more sense to not move. Plus I love my cushy job here and DH likes his job.
Him: You should move to Alberta to make more money - $XXX,XXX.
Us: ..........
Me Internally (I want to strangle you. Can't you do basic math? How is making less money than we make now making more money?!)


Of course there was all the usual stuff about complaining how he has no money, when he bought a brand new 4 BR house (single guy) and a Ducati motorcycle last month.

Sigh. Family is fun.

destron

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Off topic: what does DH stand for?

Paul der Krake

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Off topic: what does DH stand for?
Dear/dearest/darling Husband. DW is for wife. Some people use DD/DS for daughter and son as well.

Katnina

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Off topic: what does DH stand for?

DH = dear husband, DW = dear wife, OH = other half

Back on topic:
Good friend was complaining about how she & fiance will 'never be able to save up for a down payment.'
Different conversation 1 day later: they are moving to a much lower COL city but are 'going to rent a 2-bedroom apartment because it's the same price as what we are paying now for a 1br!'
Me: 'why not rent a 1br or studio and bank the difference for a down payment?'
Her: 'huh?'
Me: argh.

Jamesqf

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...he basically told me that the money he pours out for bars, restaurants, clothes, etc is non-negotiable. Because he wants to enjoy life...

I have to admit, frugality is much easier when you don't enjoy bars, restaurants, and shopping for expensive clothes :-)

destron

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Off topic: what does DH stand for?
Dear/dearest/darling Husband. DW is for wife. Some people use DD/DS for daughter and son as well.

I thought that might be it but it reminded me too much of Dearest Leader to believe it :)

nktokyo

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Off topic: what does DH stand for?
Dear/dearest/darling Husband. DW is for wife. Some people use DD/DS for daughter and son as well.

Although depending the thread it could be taken as "dumbass husband"...

NumberJohnny5

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Off topic: what does DH stand for?

Damn Husband.

Wait, whaa....it's supposed to mean Dear? I need to go have a chat with my wife, she's been using it wrong all these years!

marty998

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I have quite a few married mates who are convinced it stands for "dickhead".

BPA

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Friend:  You're cheap.

Me: Yep.

I gave up arguing.  :)

kyleaaa

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I can think of worse fates than living on an expensive Caribbean island. I don't feel sorry for her at all.

dragoncar

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Visiting with DH's brother last week was the worst. He has zero capacity for seeing another person's point of view and apparently also for rational thought.


First conversation we had about three times:

Him: You should buy a house.
Us: Here are the multiple personal and financial reasons that buying a house isn't a good choice for us right now.
Him: You should buy a house. Equity - blah blah blah.
Us: We will be able to early retire without buying a house (at 45-50 nonetheless, while he will still be working even though he'll have a 20-year military pension).
Him: You should buy a house.

2nd Conversation we had too many times:
Him: You should move to Alberta so you can make more money. (Addressing DH) - You could make $XXX,XXX.
Us: Well, with our current jobs we make $20,000-$30,000 more than X, so financially it makes more sense to not move. Plus I love my cushy job here and DH likes his job.
Him: You should move to Alberta to make more money - $XXX,XXX.
Us: ..........
Me Internally (I want to strangle you. Can't you do basic math? How is making less money than we make now making more money?!)


Of course there was all the usual stuff about complaining how he has no money, when he bought a brand new 4 BR house (single guy) and a Ducati motorcycle last month.

Sigh. Family is fun.

Have you tried just fake-agreeing?  Is he the kind of person that would actually follow up?  I'd probably just say "oh I know, we just haven't found a good house yet"

NumberJohnny5

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Have you tried just fake-agreeing?  Is he the kind of person that would actually follow up?  I'd probably just say "oh I know, we just haven't found a good house yet"

That'd work great, as long as you don't mind being constantly emailed/phoned/harassed with all the "super" deals on houses on the market.

God forbid he gave your number to a few realtor friends of his.

Will

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I was at a dinner party a few months back and there were 4 of us guys sitting around talking.  The youngest of us asked me what I wanted to do someday and I mentioned ER.  The oldest scoffed and said it would NEVER happen, retirement costs a lot more than people think, I'd run out of money and then what, and what would I do with all my free time if I did ER?  I addressed all his points and the other two were very interested and in agreement with me, but the old man who most likely has high expenses and little to live on still looked at me like I have a horn growing out of my forehead (I don't).

KMMK

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Visiting with DH's brother last week was the worst. He has zero capacity for seeing another person's point of view and apparently also for rational thought.


First conversation we had about three times:

Him: You should buy a house.
Us: Here are the multiple personal and financial reasons that buying a house isn't a good choice for us right now.
Him: You should buy a house. Equity - blah blah blah.
Us: We will be able to early retire without buying a house (at 45-50 nonetheless, while he will still be working even though he'll have a 20-year military pension).
Him: You should buy a house.

2nd Conversation we had too many times:
Him: You should move to Alberta so you can make more money. (Addressing DH) - You could make $XXX,XXX.
Us: Well, with our current jobs we make $20,000-$30,000 more than X, so financially it makes more sense to not move. Plus I love my cushy job here and DH likes his job.
Him: You should move to Alberta to make more money - $XXX,XXX.
Us: ..........
Me Internally (I want to strangle you. Can't you do basic math? How is making less money than we make now making more money?!)


Of course there was all the usual stuff about complaining how he has no money, when he bought a brand new 4 BR house (single guy) and a Ducati motorcycle last month.

Sigh. Family is fun.

Have you tried just fake-agreeing?  Is he the kind of person that would actually follow up?  I'd probably just say "oh I know, we just haven't found a good house yet"

My husband and I discussed it after the fact. We realized that we thought we were having a discussion with his brother, but we actually weren't. We were just talking at each other. He (brother-in-law) apparently has no ability to have a two sided conversation or to absorb another point of view in any way. Unfortunately, we realized that too late for this trip. But, yes, in the future we'll just do the smile and nod thing. I don't think he would try to follow up, and luckily lives several provinces away. But if he pointed out houses to us, that's easy enough to ignore.

ny.er

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These moments are a mixture of funny, horrifying and shocking. I was out with some friends the other night and mentioned the idea of not being required to work to live. My statement was literally laughed at. When I said I was serious I got 5 totally blank stares and total silence.

Maybe they thought you were thinking about going on welfare :)

odput

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I suppose thats where we get the saying "if it's important you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse."

+1

I still read "mainstream" financial "advice" (think MSN money and the like) occasionally and even there they suggest cutting down expenses (more politely than MMM of course) like maybe hold on to your car for another year after the loan is up, or other things that are so unbelievably simple I can't believe real people don't do these things.  The comments section is then full of 200 comments about how they CAN'T do that, it's so hard, blah blah blah.  Each comment has about 7628 thumbs up.  Makes me sad

FrugalZony

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That's another thing that gets me. People ask for help but when you tell them how you got where you are the response is "I could never not spend money on this or that." I suppose thats where we get the saying "if it's important you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse."
But isnt' that true for ANY advice? People ALWAYS want a magic bullet (I mean, I totally understand, I'd love one too, but there is no substitute to discipline
and common sense, unfortunately!!)

I had lost 45 pounds over two years, slowly and steadily, by changing some bad habits, portion control, introducing more fruits and veggies and more excercise.

People were asking me for my "SECRET" all the time. They did not want to hear the truth. I kept telling them "there is no secret, it's a well known fact that fruits and veggies
have less calories than chocolate and chips and that working out burns more calories than watching TV" and that the best way to loose weight is to eat less calories than
you burn....NOBODY wanted to hear that. It was always, but this won't work for me because...(insert common excuse a) b) c) or d) )
I just got tired of having to discuss the subject all the time. Unfortunately I fell off the bandwagon for a while now, need to get back into the swing of things to loose what I gained back.

It's the same with living frugally. My friend bought a house a bit more than half the price of ours. It was a stretch for them, whereas ours was purposely less than we could have afforded.
She asked me what our mortgage was. Being discreet with these kinds of things, I did not want to tell and I told her it was not relevant, because our situation was different from hers.
But she just kept asking any time she got a chance. So I told her at some point what our monthly payment was. She scratched her head and asked me, how come we have a much more
expensive house and half her payment.
Hellooooo, Basic finances and a bit of math!! They call it a "substancial downpayment" instead of a 3% down financing that you can barely scratch together. duh!
« Last Edit: August 07, 2013, 08:38:38 PM by FrugalZony »

yahui168

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They call it a "substancial downpayment" instead of a 3% down financing that you can barely scratch together. duh!

It's funny to me that in Contra Costa county, the FHA limit is $729,750 but the conforming loan limit is $625,500. "You have 3.5% down? Here's $729k!"
« Last Edit: August 07, 2013, 01:56:37 PM by yahui168 »

dweebyhawkeyes

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Today my boss was asking me to find storage solutions. I asked if I could buy the containers and get reimbursed or if I had to ask her to buy it once I found something I liked. She replied, "Well, you should ask me to buy it since it's been so long since payday and this probably isn't a good time for you..." My boss thinks I live paycheck to paycheck in such a horrendous fashion I couldn't afford to spend ~$30 that I would get reimbursed for within the month. Unfortunately I blurted out "I live with my parents and ride a bike, what could I possibly be spending on?"

She has two sons my age that live at home... Yikes.

AlmostIndependent

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They call it a "substancial downpayment" instead of a 3% down financing that you can barely scratch together. duh!

It's funny to me that in Contra Costa county, the FHA limit is $729,750 but the conforming loan limit is $625,500. "You have 3.5% down? Here's $729k!"

I can assure you that there is nothing funny about real estate in Contra Costa County. A friend of mine just put in an offer on a house in Walnut Creek. They offered $700k on a house that was listed for $600k. They were outbid. The house closed for $775k. Complete insanity if you ask me.

dragoncar

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They call it a "substancial downpayment" instead of a 3% down financing that you can barely scratch together. duh!

It's funny to me that in Contra Costa county, the FHA limit is $729,750 but the conforming loan limit is $625,500. "You have 3.5% down? Here's $729k!"


I can assure you that there is nothing funny about real estate in Contra Costa County. A friend of mine just put in an offer on a house in Walnut Creek. They offered $700k on a house that was listed for $600k. They were outbid. The house closed for $775k. Complete insanity if you ask me.

It's depressing to know that my childhood home recently sold for $2 million.  I'll never be able to live in a similar house, even though I make far more than my parents did at my age (inflation adjusted).

Spork

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They call it a "substancial downpayment" instead of a 3% down financing that you can barely scratch together. duh!

It's funny to me that in Contra Costa county, the FHA limit is $729,750 but the conforming loan limit is $625,500. "You have 3.5% down? Here's $729k!"


I can assure you that there is nothing funny about real estate in Contra Costa County. A friend of mine just put in an offer on a house in Walnut Creek. They offered $700k on a house that was listed for $600k. They were outbid. The house closed for $775k. Complete insanity if you ask me.

It's depressing to know that my childhood home recently sold for $2 million.  I'll never be able to live in a similar house, even though I make far more than my parents did at my age (inflation adjusted).

I suspect you mean "I'll never be able to live in a similar house in that zip code..."  There are areas of the country with very reasonable real estate prices... especially if you are moving out of insane places like California.

dragoncar

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They call it a "substancial downpayment" instead of a 3% down financing that you can barely scratch together. duh!

It's funny to me that in Contra Costa county, the FHA limit is $729,750 but the conforming loan limit is $625,500. "You have 3.5% down? Here's $729k!"


I can assure you that there is nothing funny about real estate in Contra Costa County. A friend of mine just put in an offer on a house in Walnut Creek. They offered $700k on a house that was listed for $600k. They were outbid. The house closed for $775k. Complete insanity if you ask me.

It's depressing to know that my childhood home recently sold for $2 million.  I'll never be able to live in a similar house, even though I make far more than my parents did at my age (inflation adjusted).

I suspect you mean "I'll never be able to live in a similar house in that zip code..."  There are areas of the country with very reasonable real estate prices... especially if you are moving out of insane places like California.

Yes, I don't consider a house in another area to be "similar".

Jamesqf

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There are areas of the country with very reasonable real estate prices... especially if you are moving out of insane places like California.

Even most of California isn't all that bad.  Just avoid the Bay Area, greater LA, and a few other places, and you can find fairly decent prices.

beltim

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Here's 2 quick convos I had in the last week that I just had to share (some details removed)....

1. 
Middle Aged Lady:  I need (X) product for my husband and I for traveling.  We're starting to live internationally.

Me:  Oooo that's interesting.  Where are you moving?

Middle Aged Lady:  We're moving to (xxxxx xxxxx)

Me:  I've never heard of it.

Middle Aged Lady:  It's an island in the Caribbean.  Very expensive.  *says with half smile*

Me:  Oh that sounds terrible.  Will you eventually get to move back?

Middle Aged Lady:  Actually we really like it there. 

Me:  Oh  :-/

I don't understand this.  Did you assume they couldn't afford it or something?  And why would you assume that?