Author Topic: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale  (Read 10019 times)

psychomoustache

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Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« on: August 27, 2013, 05:13:00 PM »
It's 1 AM in France, and I can't sleep - tomorrow I have to go to work with a Haircut from Hell. Like a shorn water rat, colored yellow-ish, with little pieces sticking out everywhere. Not kidding. Here's the story. (what's a water rat anyway...?)

Last week at this time, I had long, thick curly hair. It was driving me crazy. I'd had the same hair more or less for the past 10 years-ish. I was sick of it, and wanted a change. Be Very Wary went you want a Change Too Much.

My regular hair-person comes to my house normally - this costs 1/2 as much as the salon. For about a year I'd been saying I wanted a change. She kept saying "you won't like it short - it's going to make you look older - don't do it"... I guess in the end, I just didn't want to listen...I thought she was being too cautious (!!)

This past Friday morning, I was in line at the grocery store, and saw a woman with a curly-shag type thing. I loved it. I asked her where she'd got it done, she told me the name, and I RAN there the next morning to get my hair chopped. (Fool.) There went 75 euros - for the cut and some highlights. The highlights sucked BTW - they looked like little orange patches.

At first, I liked it - the cut anyway.  It *was* a change. But three days in - I noticed that she'd actually given me a mullet. My hair on top was "poodle". On the sides, "cocker spaniel". I felt really stupid. Yesterday I walked in to another salon run by a woman I know - she was actually quite bitchy "you look older, that is totally unflattering".

In a panic, I ran to yet another salon -one I'd heard good things about - and the lady there was soooo nice... (be WARY of "soooo nice", BTW) and said "oh we'll fix that, don't you worry"... and I trusted her...

140 euros later.... and here I am. Chopped, chopped, chopped and Yellow. Like a little chick maybe?

The only good thing I can see from this? I am not spending any money on my hair for the next 6 months-ish until this disaster grows out.

They say it's "Just Hair" but it isn't really. I cried leaving that salon this afternoon. I can't even remember the last time that happened - maybe in my early 30's. I feel way too old to be dealing with bad-haircut-bullshit at my age - I should know better. (47!)

LESSON - (for me anyway) LEAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE.

Lesson (for you, if you need it...but probably you don't)... I think one should STICK to what you KNOW when changing hair. If I had listened to the person who knew my hair - and gone with HER proposed change - I'd be asleep right now.

I'm seriously upset about facing the world tomorrow.

OK you may face-punch - I was an idiot, but believe me I'm very much paying for the mistake.

Russ

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2013, 06:07:03 PM »
Sounds like you did exactly what you suggest in your signature ;-)

For real though, don't beat yourself up too much about it. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time, and there's no shame in that.

If anyone says anything to you about it, just tell them your story! It has potential to be pretty funny actually if you put the right spin on it and at least pretend to be past the "upset" stage.

Samsam

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2013, 06:12:29 PM »
::internet hug::

daverobev

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2013, 07:02:09 PM »
Well, Ratty from the Wind in the Willows was a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Water_Vole

I'm going bald. When I was 18 or so I had long hair - when I was at uni.

I guess... sexism isn't going away when it's ingrained in our culture that women "have to" look nice OR be "trailer trash" whereas... well I guess I look a mess most of the time, but if I shower and put a polo shirt on I can go into most offices.

Not sure what to say psycho-m. I feel bad that you feel bad, but also.. you could just do an MMM universal men's grooming device and shave it all off :) Freedom! But then I spose you have to look 'respectable'... which in turn means 'it is unacceptable for you to shave your head' which is a societal sexism. Sigh.

Dunno. I keep trying to get my wife to shave her beautiful long blonde hair off... because it gets in my clothes, my shoes, my food, hehe.

In short: I have nothing useful to add. Except that I hope, with time, it bothers you less!

Ellen

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2013, 08:08:25 PM »
There are few women alive who haven't had this experience. We all feel for you!

I would a) go to your regular person, beg her forgiveness, and ask for a pixie (a la Jamie Lee Curtis). This sounds daring but for my money is better than a mullet and will at least grow out into a shag; and b) take the advice of an earlier poster and make it an incredibly amusing story.

Good luck.

gooki

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2013, 01:14:30 AM »
Pics or it didn't happen :)

But seriously, thanks for sharing your story.

psychomoustache

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2013, 01:42:49 AM »
There are few women alive who haven't had this experience. We all feel for you!

I would a) go to your regular person, beg her forgiveness, and ask for a pixie (a la Jamie Lee Curtis). This sounds daring but for my money is better than a mullet and will at least grow out into a shag; and b) take the advice of an earlier poster and make it an incredibly amusing story.

Good luck.

Thank you all so much. True - lots of people have this experience - true, daveoreb that society says I should try to look respectable - I cut my whole family's hair myself (three sons and husband) - and just kind of manage to keep it decent. Sometimes it gets messed up, but they don't freak out about it - somehow a guy with a messed-up haircut will pass nonetheless - or a guy with just a buzz of course...

Actually the second cut is more of a pixie. So yeah, it's going to grow out into a shag. Thanks Ellen very true. And so damn short!!!

I am actually, literally, sick to my stomach today - can barely eat, feel nauseous - I'm back at work, knowing that I have tons of people to see today. Lucky for me, Mr Psycho is very nice about the whole thing - he says it's not so bad - even my eldest said "it's still okay." But Oy.

No way on the pics, it depresses me enough already... but I suppose I can give links to a general idea of "before" and "after". Here goes...

this was *before* though my curls were frizzier/drier and hard to control.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8_a-m3h8p9Y/UKHdVp14ThI/AAAAAAAADx8/ry2ByLPORls/s320/short-curly-hairstyle-16.jpg

and this is *after*
http://www.natural-hairstyles.net/hairstyles/short-pixie-haircuts-2012-00.jpg

Only imagine it "piecy-er" and Yellow.

This is what I wanted but my hair wouldn't allow it. Too curly, dry and frizzy...

http://lunar.thegamez.net/hairstyle/really-pretty-hairstyles/cute-very-short-haircuts-2011-7-520x612.jpg

And what I got after Saturday's cut - based on more or less the above picture - the Poodle/Cocker look. Anyway...

AM NOT feeling amused yet this morning - am still just sick. This will take a few years to grow out. OK, like one year anyway. Or two. Give me a couple of weeks and hopefully I'll get amused  ; )

Thank you all again so much. And Leave Your Hair ALONE!!

lhamo

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2013, 05:48:31 AM »
Sorry you've had to go through hair trauma.  I had a bad experience once, when I had been growing my hair out painstakingly after the birth of my first child -- went to a new place and told the guy I wanted a trim, and he kept f***ing it up -- first too short one side, then too much thinning on the other.  by the end of it I pretty much had a crew cut.  I cried.  And then I just told myself I needed to deal with it and went on with life.  When people commented on the dramatic change I said "yeah, have a toddler at home, need to save time where I can, so I got a no-fuss cut."  Suggest you try the same.   Wear your yellow spikes with pride.  You're going back to school!  You don't have time/energy for fancy dos. 

If I weren't waiting to see what happens with my promotion (and worried about how I'd look in interviews) I'd seriously suggest we both go for the shaved look in solidarity.

FWIW, my standard cut looks a bit like this when it's short -- I don't use gel or anything on it, so it is just wavy when it is short, gets more curlyish when longer:

http://www.natural-hairstyles.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Short-Black-pixie-hairstyles.jpg

It is REALLY easy -- wash and wear, basically. 

Actually in some ways it looks more like these Halle Berry messy cuts -- I'm not Halle Berry, though!

http://www.natural-hairstyles.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Short-Straight-Pixie-Haircuts.jpg
http://www.natural-hairstyles.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Short-Messy-Haircut-from-Halle-Berry-2012.jpg

That bit sticking out over her ear in the second picture?  TOTALLY MY HAIR!  That is what happens when I push a trim out to 12 weeks, total crazy curly freakout drama on the sides.  that is usually what pushes me to go get a cut.

Anyway, you might want to think about taking it even a bit shorter.  For me those in-between lengths are the absolute hardest to deal with.  Really short is really easy, and if you take it shorter and still can't stand the color it will be easier to experiment with/maintain an at home color job if you are willing to experiment with that (I don't dye my hair, in spite of grey, so not really sure what the issues are there.

lhamo

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2013, 06:04:01 AM »
Another thought -- if you don't comb/brush/style it do you have enough curl to get this kind of effect:

http://www.short-haircut.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Short-Trendy-Curly-Haircuts-1.jpg

Would LOVE it if my hair did those kind of curls when short, but it doesn't.  The top, kind of, but the sides, no.  And I'm not Keri Russell.  But I think that is a really cute, really short cut.

The picture you showed above could really easily be transformed into a Halle Berry style cut by just taking a little more off the sides.  I HAVE to do that -- if I leave the sides long, it just totally tweaks out. 

madgeylou

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2013, 06:08:43 AM »
Oh, PM, what a bummer! Last I heard from you, I thought you were excited with your (first) haircut!

I got a way-too-short cut a few years ago, and found myself wearing a lot of hats and glamorous headscarves ... Here's a tutorial on how to tie them ... http://www.keikolynn.com/2011/07/head-scarf-tutorial.html ... Maybe you could pull out a little of the front bit and just wrap the rest up?


GuitarStv

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2013, 07:22:46 AM »
A crappy haircut sucks, sorry that you're not happy.  But . . .

From your original story, it kinda sounds like you didn't know what you wanted and just asked the hairdressers to do what they thought would look good.  Then you found out you didn't like the same things they liked.  Since you're so particular, maybe next time figure out what you want your hair to look before getting it cut . . . and don't put so much faith in other people's ideas.  Coming in with a picture of the hairstyle you're going for would probably be more prudent than hoping someone will be able to guess what you want.

psychomoustache

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2013, 08:54:20 AM »
Sorry you've had to go through hair trauma.  I had a bad experience once, when I had been growing my hair out painstakingly after the birth of my first child -- went to a new place and told the guy I wanted a trim, and he kept f***ing it up -- first too short one side, then too much thinning on the other.  by the end of it I pretty much had a crew cut.  I cried.  And then I just told myself I needed to deal with it and went on with life.  When people commented on the dramatic change I said "yeah, have a toddler at home, need to save time where I can, so I got a no-fuss cut."  Suggest you try the same.   Wear your yellow spikes with pride.  You're going back to school!  You don't have time/energy for fancy dos. 

If I weren't waiting to see what happens with my promotion (and worried about how I'd look in interviews) I'd seriously suggest we both go for the shaved look in solidarity.

LOL Love this  : )  Actually it's not so much yellow "spikes" as like these feathery-whispery piece-y things that look dry and terrible. And yellow. Hence the chick comparison. Not "cool chick", but "baby chicken". But I'm sure you got that.

Called my mom in Florida, cried to her - she said "if I could I'd give you the money to buy a wig!" gotta love her. Wigs (I looked it up) cost about 200€, so NO.

A crappy haircut sucks, sorry that you're not happy.  But . . .

From your original story, it kinda sounds like you didn't know what you wanted and just asked the hairdressers to do what they thought would look good.  Then you found out you didn't like the same things they liked.  Since you're so particular, maybe next time figure out what you want your hair to look before getting it cut . . . and don't put so much faith in other people's ideas.  Coming in with a picture of the hairstyle you're going for would probably be more prudent than hoping someone will be able to guess what you want.

No I did go in with the pictures on my i-pad. So yes, they got it. But where the mix-up is - I think the hairdressers honestly do want their clients to be happy - but my hair is coarse and very curly and just WILL NOT allow itself to look like hair in a picture. My hair person who comes to my house - the one I trust - knows this. She knows that I either have to do what lhamo does (really really short) or what I had before (pretty long).

Other mix-up, second person did NOT take the time to get to know me! She wanted me to dye my hair RED. (OY). Or - she said "you could be really 'rock&roll' (I quote) and just do the very ends blond!" I don't look particularly conservative in my dress or anything - but I kind of just want a normal-looking head. Which I told her. And she refused to listen to me.

My youngest son said to me "well it's not totally ugly, just a little ugly". Thank you.
My second son - cried. He's sensitive. He said "what did you do???"
My first son "well, it's okaaayyyyy..."
My good friend says "well you *can* walk down the street like that - I mean, I've seen others do it..."
My husband says "I told you so" as does my regular hair lady whom I called... she said "this is what happens when my clients won't listen to me!" I like her, she's honest.

OK - I have seen a few patients - some of whom are nice "I like the blond" - some of whom looked just shocked and say nothing, politely. I am slowly starting to not moan everytime I pass a mirror. Or sigh. One day in - getting a bit of perspective - long, long growth period ahead - by the time I'm 50 I'd like to like my hair again. Got 2.5 years left.

Madgeylou - I will look at your video. I *did* like the first cut - but it started to get weird on me awfully quick - because my hair just wasn't made to do what the cut was trying to do. Don't know if that makes sense - but the two (cut/hair) were fighting it out, and my hair will always win that battle. If it can poof in odd ways, that's where it's going.

I'm done. My good friend whom I mentioned above has crazy-curly hair too, and basically she does Nothing. She colors it herself a bit, trims it herself a bit...and voilà. She's more of a natural mustachian than me, but I'm letting all this be a lesson...


psychomoustache

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2013, 08:57:35 AM »
http://www.short-haircut.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Short-Trendy-Curly-Haircuts-1.jpg

Yes it looks like this lhamo only (again) yellow and weirder. I never liked this cut on her either...   ; )

MERCI for listening to me kvetch, everyone. Really, thank you.

KulshanGirl

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2013, 10:24:00 AM »
You've mentioned the yellow a few times - can you get it dyed back to a more neutral color?  It seems like the combo of short and yellow is bugging you. But maybe short and natural would be okay.  Not saying to spend even more, but maybe down the line that could help tone it down.  All of the short cuts I've seen linked here look totally cute.  Especially the Keri Russell one.   I'm sure you'll be rockin' it before too long.  I'm kind of jealous, I'd love to have the ease of super short hair.  How awesome is it to get out of the shower and just rub your head with a towel?  :)

jrhampt

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2013, 01:15:11 PM »
Ah, yes.  I periodically decide I need bangs and then spend the next year growing them out.  The last time I did this was about a year ago, and now I am back to normal again.  I second the suggestion above to get it all dyed back to one color and then just leave it alone for a while...just like your stache, some things take time...

golden1

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #15 on: August 28, 2013, 06:26:16 PM »
Yep, I learned that lesson in my 20's with a poodle perm from hell.  Now I just get my hair cut at the cheapest place in town, simple cut, a few times a year. 

Peanut Butter

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #16 on: August 28, 2013, 11:16:48 PM »
Dunno. I keep trying to get my wife to shave her beautiful long blonde hair off... because it gets in my clothes, my shoes, my food, hehe.

That's why I finally cut my waist length hair off - my cat's hairballs had more of mine than his in them!

I can't believe I didn't do it sooner - my showers take sooooo little time now, it's awesome, and a bottle of shampoo lasts more than a week and a half.

Peanut Butter

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #17 on: August 28, 2013, 11:26:13 PM »
I second the suggestions to get it dyed back to your natural color, and then chillax about it. I think you're reading too much into people's reactions. Just because your patients don't say anything about it, why do you think they're "speechless" over it?

psychomoustache

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Re: Hairy Situation, a Cautionary Tale
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2013, 03:32:38 AM »
I love you guys, seriously, this all helps me. My youngest son, Peanut Butter (the one who didn't cry over my hair, just said it looks "only a little bit ugly") says the same thing. "Mama - *I* never think about my hair, why do you???" I love it.

yeah so my regular hair person will come and take a look at it on Monday. I have no more money to fix it anymore though. But if she gives me the okay I will go get a bottle of color at a drugstore and fix that much.

I just called the salon, and spoke to the manager - the one who cut my hair. I told her I was very unhappy, as was everyone around me (friends and family) and I asked her to rip up the second check I wrote her (to pay for her VERY expensive services over 2 months - like that really helps anything anyway). Just as a gesture of goodwill.  She refused! So I may go to the bank and stop payment on the check.

OK Believe it or not, my whole life DOES NOT revolve around my Hair -(okay just a little bit) and I actually need to get off the computer and go live. And y'all are right, I barely have any hair to take care of anymore anyway...  : )