Author Topic: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...  (Read 6527 times)

Zikoris

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Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« on: November 14, 2012, 09:10:19 PM »
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« Last Edit: April 25, 2018, 07:05:29 PM by Zikoris »
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Adventine

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2012, 04:20:36 AM »
Your sister's attitude is... unfortunate, to say the least. Did you sit down with her to do the math/calculate the actual interest she's inflicting on herself?

Worsted Skeins

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2012, 04:56:26 AM »
Sisters...sigh.

I sometimes wonder how two people raised in the same family and essentially under the same circumstances could be so different!  My parents defined frugal often to the point of cheap.  My sister's reaction is be a spend thrift who thinks she is frugal because she is always buying stuff on sale. My reaction is to be frugal with an eye to buying quality for life.

Your sister is only in her twenties.  Plenty of time to dig out of her unfortunate hole.

Captain and Mrs Slow

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2012, 05:40:16 AM »
Unfortunately you can't make people change, you can only be an ear and occasionally offer suggestions, change has to come from within.
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Jack

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2012, 10:35:40 AM »
I'm not looking forward to our next conversation.

I take it you didn't exclaim "you don't get to buy a TV; you still owe me $600!" right then and there? I'd have been sorely tempted...

bo_knows

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2012, 11:43:31 AM »
I'm not looking forward to our next conversation.

I take it you didn't exclaim "you don't get to buy a TV; you still owe me $600!" right then and there? I'd have been sorely tempted...

I took out my whole rant, with the possibility of my online-savvy family seeing me post about MMM on Facebook and possibly leading here.

The only thing that held me back was that my father was sitting right next to me at the time, and I never mentioned to him the help that I provided my brother.  Didn't want to make it awkward.
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PJ

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2012, 11:48:11 PM »
I once had a roommate who was chronically late with paying rent, slow to hand over money to pay her share of the bills, and prone to buying super expensive food then submitting the receipts to be reimbursed from our joint grocery money (20 years later, another former roommate still starts to foam at the mouth when reminded of the expensive bag of demerara sugar bought at a swanky health food store!)  Not to mention prone to eating other people's special food from the fridge. 

One day, she came home raving about how she had found the "perfect" set of dishes for our little household, and magnanimously announced that she was going to buy them for us.  I lost it.  I told her she'd better not even think about it, not while her rent for the month was already late and she still owed money for XYZ bills too.  She just stood there in stunned silence.  It could be that she was surprised I was yelling at her like that, or it could be that she just didn't understand how paying the bills could be more important than having nice dishes ...
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Blindsquirrel

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2012, 04:46:20 PM »
 PJ- Your roomie is as priceless as my tenants. too funny but soo sad!
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.

PJ

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2012, 06:04:54 PM »
I actuallysaw the "other former roommate" the other day, and we were reminiscing about that time in our lives.  We both have our financial issues, but I don't think either of us really miss the days when we had to share with virtual strangers to make ends meet.  Although we would both kill for the extremely low housing costs we had back in the day ...
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EngGirl

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Re: Had a chat with my sister about debt, money...
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2012, 09:10:09 AM »
My brother is the exact same way.

When I was in highschool, my parents told me that they would pay for my university education. I studied hard, got some scholarships, and also worked part time to contribute towards my education. And then my first tuition bill came in and my parents told me that they wouldn't be paying a cent towards my education. That was okay, their money their choice. I was a little upset because I would have saved even more if I hadn't been told that they would pay my way, but hey, paying for my education has taught me a lot of things. I didn't qualify for government grants, or government sponsored student loans because my parents make too much money. I finished with a little bit of debt, but nothing I can't take care of now that I've graduated.

My (younger) brother on the other hand... he knew that he wouldn't be getting help from my parents, and that he wouldn't qualify for government grants or government loans. Instead of getting a job in highschool, he signed up for a 40k line of credit, maxed it out, got my parents to co-sign on another 40k, and it just keeps going. I did 5 years of a professional degree while living in a very expensive city. He's done 3 years of a much cheaper degree while living at home.

My parents are terrible with money, and he seems to have learned from them. I wish there was something I could do, but nothing I have ever said to any of them sinks in. They make fun of me for "living like a monk", but to me, you can't put a price on peace of mind.