"Nation's Money Constantly Disgusted By What Americans Doing With It" -The Onion

[Trudie]

Bang on.

http://www.theonion.com/article/nations-money-constantly-disgusted-by-what-america-38289?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

[solon]

“But I’ve changed hands and been used to purchase the Transformers Blu-ray box set 10 times in the past year alone. It’s exasperating.”

Comedy gold.

[LPG]

Was this written by a Mustachian? Because it sure sounds like it was.

[Raenia]

Love it!  The Onion can always cheer up my day :)

[RecoveringCarClown]

Solid gold, love the imagery!

"The nation’s currency also expressed dismay at having to constantly cycle through the same series of frivolous and dispiriting transactions over and over again. One sum of money has reportedly been trapped within a one-block radius of a Camden, NJ check-cashing business for the past 16 years, and another sum in Reno, NV is believed to have spent its entire existence rotating between the roulette tables at a run-down casino and the cash register of a nearby pawn shop."

[KodeBlue]

The last line was the best.

[Miss Piggy]

The last line was the best.

Agreed. The whole article is classic, though. Well done, Onion!

[meghan88]

Best non-fake news I've read in a while.  :)

[markbike528CBX]

In a similar vein......
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/70702-this-planet-has---or-rather-had---a-problem

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”   
 ---  Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I guess the Onion only interviewed money that was unhappy.   Where's the balance in reporting these days?