Author Topic: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?  (Read 7083 times)

clarkfan1979

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Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« on: January 04, 2020, 09:10:38 PM »
I've seen about 5 gofundme annoucements on social media over the past 3 months and I'm starting to get burnt out on them. I am partial to give to someone who is truly in need. For example, one of my wife's co-workers is very low income and in a temporary tough spot. My wife said she could sleep in our furnished basement for a little while, if that would help her out. She doesn't really have any family in the local area. She probably won't take us up on the offer. She would rather take care of her own shit, but I think the offer at least lowered her stress a little. Ironically, she does not feel the need to create gofundme page.

For some odd reason, my social media is filled with older adults making good money that somehow have a goodfundme page. I don't want to bore you with the details of all 5. I picked the top 2 that bugged me the most.

1) Male couple in their early 30's (no kids) that probably make 175K - 200K/year combined and live in Manhattan. One of them found themselves in the hospital without health insurance. They created a personal gofundme page for 10K. They both have college degrees and two months after the incident they bragged on facebook on how they were able to upgrade to a 2 bedroom and were thankful for their 9 trips/vacations (5 weddings) this past year.

2) Married couple in their early 40's with an 8 year old. Wife has been a middle school teacher for about 15 years and husband is a laborer on a farm. Husband broke his arm and wife broker her ankle within one week of one another. Wife has good insurance through the school district. They did not create a personal gofundme page, but one of their friends/co-workers created one for them for 10K. Wife broke her ankle over winter break and announced that she will be back at work for the day of school on Monday. Why do they need 10K?

When I was a kid my dad worked union construction and my mom was a stay-at-home mom. When my dad was younger, he had less seniority within the union and was the first to get laid-off when work was slow. It was very common for him to be out of work for 3 months/year. There was no gofundme page back then. Back then, you would have 3-6 months worth of expenses saved for when you would get laid off. Crazy concept.





SwordGuy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2020, 10:02:01 PM »
I have zero patience with people who make good money are and (a) haven't bothered to save any and (b) won't cut back on their spending because they are self-absorbed and (c) are so damned selfish to think that we should sacrifice so they don't have to.

Dicey

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2020, 10:10:50 PM »
You know GFM takes a cut of every dollar donated, right? If I know of someone who legitimately needs help and the spirit moves me, I cut out the middleman and send them a check. The End.

Since this didn't post when I hit the button, I'm going to add that I really, really dislike GFM. Making a profit on people's travails, no matter how frivolous some of them they may be, just pisses me off.

Thanks for asking.

minimustache1985

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2020, 10:28:05 PM »
Your first example is particularly terrible.  Reminds me of a self centered cousin who made a GFM so that her husband could pursue his true passion and go to brewery school.  Um, pay for that shit yourself cuz!

Only one I can recall donating to was the widow of a high school acquaintance- he got cancer young and passed with more medical bills than life insurance- they hadnít assumed they needed much since they didnít have kids yet and didnít make a lot.  I also didnít know the widow directly so was more comfortable making an online contribution, frankly I wouldnít have bothered hunting down an address and sending a check.

Paul der Krake

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2020, 11:48:57 PM »
I have very limited sympathy for health bills in the ACA era.

minimustache1985

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2020, 07:51:21 AM »
I have very limited sympathy for health bills in the ACA era.
Depends.  For someone who broke an arm or whatever, yeah you should be able to cover your own deductible and whatnot.  For someone who gets a serious illness that lasts months or longer where theyíre unpaid and drain their savings while physically unable to work- well thatís a horse of a different color.  Disability *should* be a safety net for those types of things but you have to be medically unable to work for a full year before qualifying.

OtherJen

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2020, 08:10:04 AM »
I have very limited sympathy for health bills in the ACA era.
Depends.  For someone who broke an arm or whatever, yeah you should be able to cover your own deductible and whatnot.  For someone who gets a serious illness that lasts months or longer where theyíre unpaid and drain their savings while physically unable to work- well thatís a horse of a different color.  Disability *should* be a safety net for those types of things but you have to be medically unable to work for a full year before qualifying.

Also, as someone who is currently covered under a HDHP insurance plan, the annual HSA contribution limit for a single person was $3500 last year. If this young man with a relatively low income had such a plan, his annual deductible may have been as high as $6500. He may not have had time to build up enough of an HSA stockpile to cover even 1 year of the deductible, let alone multiple years.

Plus, some cancer therapies are not covered by insurance. Last year, an acquaintance with prostate cancer was quoted a price of more than $10K per month for a chemotherapy drug. His employer-sponsored, ACA-compliant insurance program refused to cover it. He eventually received a financial hardship grant (despite making a decent income, because the drug cost per year was more than 1.5-times his annual income).

Seriously, it isn't much of a thought exercise and doesn't take much imagination to understand how crippling medical bills related to severe and/or chronic illness can be in the USA.

MishMash

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2020, 08:42:19 AM »
Frivolous ones like Madam Bovery who cheated on her husband with his best friend, got divorced, and set up a Christmas list that was 10 pages long via Amazon (all name brand shit, mostly for her and boy toy) and a GFE me for rent at the same time oh hell no.

But we have donated to a few, two for a couple of my husbands former coworkers who committed suicide and left behind families and one for an old friend whose wife found out she had an inoperable brain tumor a month after giving birth to their first child.  I'll donate to those all day long.

GuitarStv

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2020, 03:28:08 PM »
Go fund me is the hi-tech version of a bum begging for change at the off ramp.  I'm not really a fan of donating to either, although there are several charities I volunteer with or donate to.

hops

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2020, 06:05:22 PM »
I have no problem donating to worthy causes, like families we're close to who are dealing with terminal cancer, but will admit to feeling irked when a relative poor-mouthed it on GoFundMe while recovering from elective surgery. We gave a token amount and when we saw him a couple weeks later he showed off his new Apple Watch and AirPods. We'll ignore his inevitable future fundraising campaigns.

iris lily

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2020, 10:03:19 PM »
Our neighbor puts on a very elaborate Halloween extravaganza with moving monsters and scary lights and smoky background. Oh yeah and thereís sound.

Iím sure he gets a few hundred people going by his place in the Halloween season.

This year when he put out the notice on Nextdoor reminding everyone to come by his place, he also noted that he had set up a Gofundme account to help with the expense of the extravaganza.

I checked the account a week after his announcement and no one had donated at that point.Itís fun but itís not a worthy cause I would donate to.

partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2020, 11:15:07 AM »
I was having this at one point and really cut down in even looking at the pages. I have a good friend that has bad luck but him individually, has had 4 different go fundmes/fundraisers in the past 2, 3 years. One for a lawsuit (he was not at fault, long story), one for his child's private school education, a third for his ex spouse to move to a new apartment (another long story), and most recently a 4th for new non-profit he is involved in. Individually hey are good causes, but I'm getting fatigue/feeling selfish. I guess in part because I was sending my child to private school and got to the point I could not afford it even though it was helping her. Did I create a GoFundMe? No I did not re-enroll her in that school instead searched for options that I could afford within my means. 

partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2020, 11:16:58 AM »
Our neighbor puts on a very elaborate Halloween extravaganza with moving monsters and scary lights and smoky background. Oh yeah and thereís sound.

Iím sure he gets a few hundred people going by his place in the Halloween season.

This year when he put out the notice on Nextdoor reminding everyone to come by his place, he also noted that he had set up a Gofundme account to help with the expense of the extravaganza.

I checked the account a week after his announcement and no one had donated at that point.Itís fun but itís not a worthy cause I would donate to.

I wouldn't donate to a gofund me for it, but if he had a tip box out maybe I'd put a dollar in...

bluebelle

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2020, 11:46:58 AM »
I guess my social media feed is boring....I don't see gofundme requests.....but I wouldn't certainly tire of them if they looked like yours.

Society in general has developed a very strong sense of entitlement.....and many of the gofundme pages smack of that.

DadJokes

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2020, 11:56:21 AM »
I'm actually starting a GoFundMe to help get rid of the overuse of GoFundMe campaigns. You can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/holy-crap-i-cant-believe-people-are-falling-for-this

mtn

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2020, 12:05:13 PM »
I try not to judge too hard. When we lost our daughter, we had multiple people try to set up a go fund me for us. I didn't let them because
  • We had good insurance, total OOP was not crippling
  • Despite not having a ton of liquidity, our net worth was such that no one could really consider us poor
  • we had tons of family support, including financially. Some family just wrote us a check and said "I've planned a funeral. It isn't cheap." We couldn't have refused it if we tried.
We redirected any requests to Ronald McDonald House. Told everyone if they wanted to help us out, donate to them.

But ultimately I wouldn't judge anyone. On the outside, this is what people would see: 2 college educated people working in professional jobs, with no kids, and only a small student loan. A cute house in a HCOL area - a very nice suburb. 3 cars, 1 of which is brand new and 1 of which is a Lexus, 1 of which is a "race car", and a fishing boat in the garage. Frequent vacations to a beachfront cottage with numerous boats (not counting the aforementioned boat at home), fancy looking dog, and a ton of nice stuff - i.e. furniture that is expensive and extremely high quality.

What they don't see is this: 2 adults who each have a 2nd job. HCOL area is due to "needing" to be near family with chronic health issues, and it was the cheapest house we could find. The new car was the first new car they ever had, and it is a KIA, bought with very low financing and it was a year old leftover model. The Lexus is 20 years old with 300k miles. The race car (now sold) was $3,500, 26 years old, with 140k miles. The fishing boat is my FIL's. Not really used. The vacations were to my parents house in a LCOL area. The dog is 12 years old and was a rescue at age 9. The furniture was all hand-me-downs and estate sale finds. They also don't see that maybe after the loss of a child, you can't go back to work for months. Maybe they don't see that despite your good insurance, the funeral was more expensive than you could have imagined. Maybe they don't know if you have family support.

Don't judge the book by its cover. Friend of mine goes on vacations ALL THE TIME. He also has to travel for work. He hasn't paid more than $300 for any of his 7 vacations they took this year, because it was all paid for via airline points and hotel rewards. Can't sell those. Can't donate them. Don't use them, you lose them. Do they disqualify him from a gofundme?

I don't know peoples lives. I don't judge. I just may not donate. (I also don't want people judging me, so I stay largely off of social media entirely)

bluebelle

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2020, 12:36:27 PM »
I try not to judge too hard. When we lost our daughter, we had multiple people try to set up a go fund me for us. I didn't let them because
  • We had good insurance, total OOP was not crippling
  • Despite not having a ton of liquidity, our net worth was such that no one could really consider us poor
  • we had tons of family support, including financially. Some family just wrote us a check and said "I've planned a funeral. It isn't cheap." We couldn't have refused it if we tried.
We redirected any requests to Ronald McDonald House. Told everyone if they wanted to help us out, donate to them.

But ultimately I wouldn't judge anyone. On the outside, this is what people would see: 2 college educated people working in professional jobs, with no kids, and only a small student loan. A cute house in a HCOL area - a very nice suburb. 3 cars, 1 of which is brand new and 1 of which is a Lexus, 1 of which is a "race car", and a fishing boat in the garage. Frequent vacations to a beachfront cottage with numerous boats (not counting the aforementioned boat at home), fancy looking dog, and a ton of nice stuff - i.e. furniture that is expensive and extremely high quality.

What they don't see is this: 2 adults who each have a 2nd job. HCOL area is due to "needing" to be near family with chronic health issues, and it was the cheapest house we could find. The new car was the first new car they ever had, and it is a KIA, bought with very low financing and it was a year old leftover model. The Lexus is 20 years old with 300k miles. The race car (now sold) was $3,500, 26 years old, with 140k miles. The fishing boat is my FIL's. Not really used. The vacations were to my parents house in a LCOL area. The dog is 12 years old and was a rescue at age 9. The furniture was all hand-me-downs and estate sale finds. They also don't see that maybe after the loss of a child, you can't go back to work for months. Maybe they don't see that despite your good insurance, the funeral was more expensive than you could have imagined. Maybe they don't know if you have family support.

Don't judge the book by its cover. Friend of mine goes on vacations ALL THE TIME. He also has to travel for work. He hasn't paid more than $300 for any of his 7 vacations they took this year, because it was all paid for via airline points and hotel rewards. Can't sell those. Can't donate them. Don't use them, you lose them. Do they disqualify him from a gofundme?

I don't know peoples lives. I don't judge. I just may not donate. (I also don't want people judging me, so I stay largely off of social media entirely)
I'm very sorry for your loss

Just Joe

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2020, 01:01:06 PM »
You know GFM takes a cut of every dollar donated, right? If I know of someone who legitimately needs help and the spirit moves me, I cut out the middleman and send them a check. The End.

Same with school fundraisers. Why buy cookie dough or chocolate bars? Just write a check to the school and they get 100% of the donation rather than 50%.

JAYSLOL

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2020, 01:08:48 PM »
I try not to judge too hard. When we lost our daughter, we had multiple people try to set up a go fund me for us. I didn't let them because
  • We had good insurance, total OOP was not crippling
  • Despite not having a ton of liquidity, our net worth was such that no one could really consider us poor
  • we had tons of family support, including financially. Some family just wrote us a check and said "I've planned a funeral. It isn't cheap." We couldn't have refused it if we tried.
We redirected any requests to Ronald McDonald House. Told everyone if they wanted to help us out, donate to them.

But ultimately I wouldn't judge anyone. On the outside, this is what people would see: 2 college educated people working in professional jobs, with no kids, and only a small student loan. A cute house in a HCOL area - a very nice suburb. 3 cars, 1 of which is brand new and 1 of which is a Lexus, 1 of which is a "race car", and a fishing boat in the garage. Frequent vacations to a beachfront cottage with numerous boats (not counting the aforementioned boat at home), fancy looking dog, and a ton of nice stuff - i.e. furniture that is expensive and extremely high quality.

What they don't see is this: 2 adults who each have a 2nd job. HCOL area is due to "needing" to be near family with chronic health issues, and it was the cheapest house we could find. The new car was the first new car they ever had, and it is a KIA, bought with very low financing and it was a year old leftover model. The Lexus is 20 years old with 300k miles. The race car (now sold) was $3,500, 26 years old, with 140k miles. The fishing boat is my FIL's. Not really used. The vacations were to my parents house in a LCOL area. The dog is 12 years old and was a rescue at age 9. The furniture was all hand-me-downs and estate sale finds. They also don't see that maybe after the loss of a child, you can't go back to work for months. Maybe they don't see that despite your good insurance, the funeral was more expensive than you could have imagined. Maybe they don't know if you have family support.

Don't judge the book by its cover. Friend of mine goes on vacations ALL THE TIME. He also has to travel for work. He hasn't paid more than $300 for any of his 7 vacations they took this year, because it was all paid for via airline points and hotel rewards. Can't sell those. Can't donate them. Don't use them, you lose them. Do they disqualify him from a gofundme?

I don't know peoples lives. I don't judge. I just may not donate. (I also don't want people judging me, so I stay largely off of social media entirely)
I'm very sorry for your loss

+1  I have a daughter, I canít even imagine.  I hope you are doing as well as possible

partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2020, 01:46:18 PM »
I have to admit for the first time in my life, I did a GoFundMe in 2019. It was for my brother who was diagnosed with cancer. He did have insurance, but it was not good insurance and had no money, assets otherwise. I really did it to help my little brother and my Dad, who were going to be the main people bearing the brunt of care and expenses (my brother actually ended up taking a whole bunch of unpaid leave from work. My Dad was sleeping in a chair, for months, so my brother could sleep in his bed).
 
Would I do it again? Probably not for a number of reasons, including that the progression was so fast, we didn't end up using the money for its intended purpose (powered wheelchair). It still went to things that went to him, but it was such a freaking hassle because my brother and Dad didn't want to accept the money so it just added more arguments and emotions to the situation. One point I was so fed up I even considered returning the money to all the donors, even the money that had been spent just to avoid family arguments. Instead I decided to keep the amount that wasn't directly spent in a fund for when he is interred (he won't be interred until my mother passes, and there will be costs at that time).

The only good thing? That people who knew him or knew us, who didn't know what to say, or do, could make a donation to  feel like they did "something". And that people contributed, including people I had not heard from in a long time was in a weird way comforting because it made me feel that people DID care.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2020, 07:20:14 PM by partgypsy »

Paul der Krake

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2020, 01:51:59 PM »
I don't understand the "I have insurance but not good insurance". The ACA caps out out of pocket expenses at 7k/person/year. Not the deductible, TOTAL out of pocket expenses.

Is it really that common to have things not covered? How often do people get prescribed non-covered drugs or treatments? What am I missing here?


partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #21 on: January 06, 2020, 02:06:20 PM »
Paul his insurance DID pay for most things.  But most hospitals would not even accept his insurance. Where he initially went to the ER and then admitted, the staff let us know after he was discharged that they would no longer treat him even on an outpatient basis because they did not accept his insurance. They then reconsidered after we appealed, but it was NOT a sure thing. Same thing for where he got his treatments. They did not accept his insurance but accepted him as an indigent (church-related institution). If they did not treat him the only options would be driving into the city and back again, highway traffic and hours of wait time. Something we did not want our Dad to have to go through (the only family member available at that time). This is also why we were pursuing the powered wheelchair with the assumption that if he got better he could go to his treatments solo, which wasn't correct.
 
My mother was able to get his insurance switched. However despite their assurances something got messed up and he was without coverage for a week and a half. We had to cancel his blood tests and treatments, and his medications were filled out of pocket. Just one of his meds cost hundreds of dollars.
Early on the hospital said they could not discharge him home due to his condition, and transferred him to the only assisted living situation that accepted his insurance. That place was a - hole. He only spent one night there and even in that short time fell out of his bed. My brother got him out of there. 

Due to lack of stairs my (87) year old Dad took him in and took care of him in his apartment for the next few months up until a few days before he died. He was admitted to a place that the reason given was respite care (for my Dad). It was associated with a church as well, and a really lovely place. Despite that while his insurance only covered 3 days there (where he was then supposed to be discharged back to my Dad!) the staff let us know they would allow him to stay until he passed (5 days after he was admitted). 
« Last Edit: January 06, 2020, 02:26:29 PM by partgypsy »

mtn

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #22 on: January 06, 2020, 02:53:00 PM »
I don't understand the "I have insurance but not good insurance". The ACA caps out out of pocket expenses at 7k/person/year. Not the deductible, TOTAL out of pocket expenses.

Is it really that common to have things not covered? How often do people get prescribed non-covered drugs or treatments? What am I missing here?

Short answer is that it is not that simple, and it is common for things not to be covered - ESPECIALLY if it is a marketplace plan.

For instance, my wife worked at the hospital our daughter was born at. Her insurance was exceptional, if you stayed in that institution (arguably the best hospital in the midwest, at least for certain things). If that hospital didn't offer the service, you could go to another place for it if it was necessary, but only if there wasn't another hospital in the area in the network that offered it.

So our daughter was born at this hospital. We didn't know anything was wrong until she was born (virus attacked her heart). First 1.5 days of her life, the bill was about $50k (mostly covered by insurance, I think we paid them about $1.5k but that included my wife's care (C-section)). She needed to be put on something called ECMO. Now, ECMO for babies isn't something that is at just any hospital. ECMO itself is pretty unique. This hospital had ECMO for adults, but not for peds, let alone neonates. So we transferred to a hospital that had it. Ambulance bill was about $2k. 11 miles.

She was on ECMO for about 1.5 weeks before she had a brain hemorrhage and passed. The bill initially came in at about $1.3M for this hospital, patient liability about $17k because we didn't go to the right hospital. Contested that. Ok, they realized we did. Got it down to what it should have been. Then the labwork bill came in - keep in mind they were doing blood tests every hour. That coverage was denied, because the hospital that we started at (11 miles away) could have done the labwork. Uh... Yeah, again, contested that one. Ambulance bill came in. This one was right, but expensive. I called them directly and they knocked it down a ton.

Ultimately we were initially billed about $43k. Almost none of that was right. Ultimately we paid about $10k (remember, some of this was because of my wife's bills). I could have gotten it down to about $8-9k, I think, but my dad saw me on the phone with the insurance company and asked me "what do you still owe, according to them" and I told him, and he wrote me a check for that much to make the problem go away. I'm fortunate that I have my family who can do that, to whom even a healthy 5 digit bill would not phase them. But most are not as fortunate as I am in that regard. Oh, and don't forget you still have a funeral to pay for, you still have to work on your own mental health, and you may have to take time off of work. My job gives 3 days for bereavement of a child. 3 days. Seriously? Luckily my manager is an excellent person and said "come back when you can, I'll pretend I see you every day at the office. Don't worry". But what if I didn't have that? My wife couldn't go back to work at the place where she delivered our daughter. Too rough emotionally. There goes about 40% of our income. Didn't plan on that.

And for someone in this situation, we were in good shape too. Could have sold the house and moved to a lower cost of living area. Could have taken from the retiremnet accounts, penalties be damned. Could have done a lot of stuff. But for a lot of folks, the best financial strategy would have been bankruptcy. Yes, really.

ACA isn't all its cracked up to be.

StarBright

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #23 on: January 06, 2020, 03:00:24 PM »
I am both tired of it and saddened by it.

But when I scroll though the GoFundMes my friends have posted in the last couple of months they all seem worthwhile to me.

One woman is succumbing after a 4 year fight with cancer and her husband doesn't get FMLA and they have a 4 year old
 
One person's child had a horrific accident and while she does get FMLA, she needed the funding to maintain her insurance coverage (which was pretty pricey and her leave was unpaid).

Someone I know was shot and killed and the family didn't have money for a funeral.

A friend from high school's husband left her (a stay at home mom) and their three children right before the holiday. She needed money for rent and food.

Someone else's child has brain cancer and they need to stay long term at a hospital in another state.

The only donation that gave me a split second of hesitation was the worker who didn't have enough to maintain her insurance coverage because I know her quite well and she's a big spender. But I also firmly believe you shouldn't be at risk of losing your family's health care in the middle of a health crisis so I donated. Luckily - I don't think I've seen people who abuse crowdfunding.

mtn

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #24 on: January 06, 2020, 03:19:22 PM »
I am both tired of it and saddened by it.

But when I scroll though the GoFundMes my friends have posted in the last couple of months they all seem worthwhile to me.

One woman is succumbing after a 4 year fight with cancer and her husband doesn't get FMLA and they have a 4 year old
 
One person's child had a horrific accident and while she does get FMLA, she needed the funding to maintain her insurance coverage (which was pretty pricey and her leave was unpaid).

Someone I know was shot and killed and the family didn't have money for a funeral.

A friend from high school's husband left her (a stay at home mom) and their three children right before the holiday. She needed money for rent and food.

Someone else's child has brain cancer and they need to stay long term at a hospital in another state.

The only donation that gave me a split second of hesitation was the worker who didn't have enough to maintain her insurance coverage because I know her quite well and she's a big spender. But I also firmly believe you shouldn't be at risk of losing your family's health care in the middle of a health crisis so I donated. Luckily - I don't think I've seen people who abuse crowdfunding.

And even if you have the means to get around all of these things, it isn't going to be immediate. How long does it take to sell a house and get the funds - which will still leave a gigantic problem of WHERE DO YOU LIVE??? A hotel???? You can pawn things, but probably not $10k worth (seriously folks, go buy your household shit at an estate sale!). Even if you were to cash out your 401k, I imagine that would take a month or so. Sometimes you don't have that option to wait a month for your money.


Not saying that people don't abuse it. But think about it - if you didn't try to live a mustachian life, just a responsible save 15% to my 401k, how long would it take you to come up with $10k cash if you were in the same situation - which may include signifcant loss of income, and an already exhausted emergency fund.

ketchup

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #25 on: January 06, 2020, 03:25:18 PM »
I've seen about 5 gofundme annoucements on social media over the past 3 months and I'm starting to get burnt out on them. I am partial to give to someone who is truly in need. For example, one of my wife's co-workers is very low income and in a temporary tough spot. My wife said she could sleep in our furnished basement for a little while, if that would help her out. She doesn't really have any family in the local area. She probably won't take us up on the offer. She would rather take care of her own shit, but I think the offer at least lowered her stress a little. Ironically, she does not feel the need to create gofundme page.

For some odd reason, my social media is filled with older adults making good money that somehow have a goodfundme page. I don't want to bore you with the details of all 5. I picked the top 2 that bugged me the most.

1) Male couple in their early 30's (no kids) that probably make 175K - 200K/year combined and live in Manhattan. One of them found themselves in the hospital without health insurance. They created a personal gofundme page for 10K. They both have college degrees and two months after the incident they bragged on facebook on how they were able to upgrade to a 2 bedroom and were thankful for their 9 trips/vacations (5 weddings) this past year.

2) Married couple in their early 40's with an 8 year old. Wife has been a middle school teacher for about 15 years and husband is a laborer on a farm. Husband broke his arm and wife broker her ankle within one week of one another. Wife has good insurance through the school district. They did not create a personal gofundme page, but one of their friends/co-workers created one for them for 10K. Wife broke her ankle over winter break and announced that she will be back at work for the day of school on Monday. Why do they need 10K?

When I was a kid my dad worked union construction and my mom was a stay-at-home mom. When my dad was younger, he had less seniority within the union and was the first to get laid-off when work was slow. It was very common for him to be out of work for 3 months/year. There was no gofundme page back then. Back then, you would have 3-6 months worth of expenses saved for when you would get laid off. Crazy concept.
I'd say that's the problem.  I'm not on social media apart from Reddit and a couple forums and I never see gofundme posts.

PDXTabs

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #26 on: January 06, 2020, 04:17:38 PM »
I have very limited sympathy for health bills in the ACA era.

My ACA out of pocket max is $7,500. I could pay that. A lot of people in their early 20's suffering a serious health issue (where they probably can't work either) couldn't.

Those are the GFM people in my feed.

Zamboni

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #27 on: January 06, 2020, 04:56:35 PM »
I think social media (facebook, instagram, snapchat, twitter, etc.) is out of control and does more harm to society than good. Gofundme pages are just a weird extension of that.

I will not contribute to gofundme for a variety of life philosophy reasons . . . I'd rather having all of my giving designated to reputable and well-organized charities.

joleran

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #28 on: January 06, 2020, 05:06:13 PM »
My ACA out of pocket max is $7,500. I could pay that. A lot of people in their early 20's suffering a serious health issue (where they probably can't work either) couldn't.

Those are the GFM people in my feed.

As has been mentioned, there's plenty of stuff your doctors might do or places you might go where the insurance company will say "not covered", and that means your expenses don't come out of your out of pocket max.  Your true OOP max is still practically infinite.

partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #29 on: January 06, 2020, 07:10:19 PM »
Yeah. Insurance either covers it or doesn't. My brother could have stayed in this assisted living place, but it was -not good. So my parents take care of him. You have an 87 year old taking care of his grown son. He could have used help. But insurance doesn't pay for in home care. He did get in home visits after his status was changed to home hospice. That was 1-2 months before he died. But before then, it's not covered. I do have to say overall, my brother got excellent care from warm and caring professionals. My brother and mom did alot of legwork to find that care, based on the limitations of his insurance. I think people facing a health crisis on their own, would not fare as well, and would have died sooner. I am grateful for all those people who helped my brother. they went above and beyond.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2020, 07:16:41 PM by partgypsy »

Dicey

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #30 on: January 06, 2020, 11:55:22 PM »
@partgypsy , I am so sorry for your loss.

partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #31 on: January 07, 2020, 09:27:15 AM »
Thank you Dicey. I didn't mean to threadjack this thread! I guess the main thing I wanted to say it doesn't matter if you have insurance, if none of the medical places around you accept your insurance. I am glad that we have the ACA. My brother would have been uninsurable otherwise. But improvements can be made. Comprehensive universal care is more cost effective, fair and humane. Right now the people who do not have insurance, simply defer care until they end up in the ER, which is the most expensive way to provide care. When they are discharged they cannot get any kind of follow up routine or preventative care without paying completely out of pocket, which means it just doesn't happen. We all pay the costs for that.

SheWhoWalksAtLunch

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #32 on: January 07, 2020, 11:05:33 AM »
You know GFM takes a cut of every dollar donated, right? If I know of someone who legitimately needs help and the spirit moves me, I cut out the middleman and send them a check. The End.

Since this didn't post when I hit the button, I'm going to add that I really, really dislike GFM. Making a profit on people's travails, no matter how frivolous some of them they may be, just pisses me off.

Thanks for asking.

+1  2.9% +$0.30 per donation  When I donate, I write out a check and hand it direct to the intended recipient.   That way they get 100% of my donation.  Worst case scenario I mail it and the USPS gets $0.55

Chris Pascale

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #33 on: January 07, 2020, 01:15:02 PM »
I'm actually starting a GoFundMe to help get rid of the overuse of GoFundMe campaigns. You can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/holy-crap-i-cant-believe-people-are-falling-for-this

I clicked it!

ohsnap

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #34 on: January 08, 2020, 12:23:23 PM »
...
+1  2.9% +$0.30 per donation  When I donate, I write out a check and hand it direct to the intended recipient.   That way they get 100% of my donation.  Worst case scenario I mail it and the USPS gets $0.55

Yes, and another nice part about writing a check to the recipient is that you can include a note or card with your well wishes on it.  I think that "I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your (insert loved one here) brought a smile to everyone who knew them." or "May you continue to heal.  Please let me know how I can help in your recovery" means so much more when written on a card rather than posted on a GFM message board.

Wrenchturner

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #35 on: January 08, 2020, 01:17:34 PM »
I'm actually starting a GoFundMe to help get rid of the overuse of GoFundMe campaigns. You can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/holy-crap-i-cant-believe-people-are-falling-for-this

I clicked it!
I didn't!  I saw the sneaky url bait and switch...  fool me once...

ixtap

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #36 on: January 08, 2020, 01:35:56 PM »
I'm actually starting a GoFundMe to help get rid of the overuse of GoFundMe campaigns. You can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/holy-crap-i-cant-believe-people-are-falling-for-this

I clicked it!
I didn't!  I saw the sneaky url bait and switch...  fool me once...

I still like to see WHAT the gotcha is!

partgypsy

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #37 on: January 09, 2020, 09:15:45 AM »
I'm actually starting a GoFundMe to help get rid of the overuse of GoFundMe campaigns. You can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/holy-crap-i-cant-believe-people-are-falling-for-this

I clicked it!
I didn't!  I saw the sneaky url bait and switch...  fool me once...

I didn't click on it before but now I did. LOL!

Dicey

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #38 on: January 09, 2020, 10:26:20 AM »
I'm actually starting a GoFundMe to help get rid of the overuse of GoFundMe campaigns. You can donate at https://www.gofundme.com/holy-crap-i-cant-believe-people-are-falling-for-this

I clicked it!
I didn't!  I saw the sneaky url bait and switch...  fool me once...

I didn't click on it before but now I did. LOL!
Hahaha, good one!

Just Joe

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #39 on: January 14, 2020, 09:55:54 AM »
See on Nextdoor this morn:

"Hello I just spent my check on bills and I really need a hair cut and some gas can anyone help me through PayPal I'm in desperate need or I wouldn't ask anyone can message me for more details thanks and God bless if anyone could help my PayPal is..."

Back when I was a struggling 20-something I'd start hitting up people for chores to do that people would pay me for. Mow a yard, rake someone's leaves, wash a car, etc. One or two chores would fill a gas tank.

I think the haircut can wait. Some of us get pretty darn shaggy before we get haircuts. Saves money.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 09:19:56 AM by Just Joe »

Chris Pascale

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #40 on: January 29, 2020, 07:30:31 PM »


I think the haircut can wait. Some of us get pretty darn shaggy before we get haircuts. Saves money.

Same here. I also don't like sitting in the barber shop, but that's not been an issue since I found a place near my office. I really don't like using my own time for stuff like this if I can help it.


Malkynn

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #41 on: January 30, 2020, 07:37:50 AM »
Just don't click on them.

I ignore all Go Fund Me posts on social media. On FB, I hid them until they stopped popping up. Problem solved.

mathlete

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #42 on: January 30, 2020, 09:33:02 AM »
Most of them (in my circle of FB friends) seem worthwhile, and it's $50 to ease someone's suffering a little bit. I'm fortunate and I can afford it.

I'm sure if I dug through I could find some really silly ones, but most of them are medical related.

Cassie

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #43 on: January 31, 2020, 04:26:11 PM »
I have donated to a few that were medical. I am sorry for the losses that some of you have had. My best friendís 18 year old daughter got a rare liver disease and needed a transplant. My friend emptied her savings, I had 4 fundraisers, she charged her CCís and had insurance. Then she was also able eventually to get Medicaid. Even with 2 𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖ís still paying much out of pocket. If you cannot keep up with the medical bills they assume you wonít be able to pay for the transplant related expenses. Then find out she wonít live long enough for a transplant in the West coast so move to Midwest while the wait is shorter.  Sadly she died and her mom had to be back to work after a week.  Medical bills do break people.

mtn

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #44 on: February 02, 2020, 08:17:38 PM »
I have donated to a few that were medical. I am sorry for the losses that some of you have had. My best friendís 18 year old daughter got a rare liver disease and needed a transplant. My friend emptied her savings, I had 4 fundraisers, she charged her CCís and had insurance. Then she was also able eventually to get Medicaid. Even with 2 𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖ís still paying much out of pocket. If you cannot keep up with the medical bills they assume you wonít be able to pay for the transplant related expenses. Then find out she wonít live long enough for a transplant in the West coast so move to Midwest while the wait is shorter.  Sadly she died and her mom had to be back to work after a week.  Medical bills do break people.

This should be criminal. I know what Iím about to say isnít necessarily the answer, because I know there are a lot of sick (meaning twisted psychopaths) people out there that might take advantage of it for sinister reasons, not to mention it isnít exactly a common occurrence, but the loss of a child should somehow come with at least 1 month paid bereavement time. I was supposed to go back after 3 days. I went back after 2 weeks and that still wasnít enough time to grieve and to be able to function at work.

mtn

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #45 on: February 13, 2020, 03:53:38 PM »
Ok, so another example of how medical debt can be an incredible burden.

We just got a bill for some medical care we received in May 2019. The bill is for $1,911.29. They had no record of our payment of $4,029.44. How they lost the record, I don't know. It isn't there. I made it over the phone - 8.5 months ago. SOMEWHERE I have a record of that, but I cannot find it yet. Right now my only record is the credit card statement. The medical center cannot find a record of it, but it obviously posted. I should be getting a check for $2k, but we had so many different medical bills this past year that it could have EASILY been assumed that the bill was correct, and we'd be putting it on the credit card. Don't have $2k to spare right now, to be honest.

Again, this bill is coming 8 months after the fact. This is fucked.

ixtap

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Re: Anyone else getting burnt out on gofundme pages?
« Reply #46 on: February 13, 2020, 10:20:56 PM »
I was considering sending a cousin some money to help out while newborn is in NICU over the next month or so, but hadn't gotten around to asking for an address. So, for once, I was glad to see a GoFundMe. I think this might be my 3rd contribution in the decade or so they have been operating.