Author Topic: Finance your fruitcake  (Read 3110 times)

theglasses

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Finance your fruitcake
« on: December 02, 2014, 09:45:49 AM »
So my wife's aunt usually sends her something from the Swiss Colony catalog every year around Christmastime. (one of those silly gift catalogs with fruitcakes and meat/cheese gift baskets etc.) Consequently, we're on their mailing list, I guess, because we just got their catalog yesterday. And, lo and behold! According to an insert on the first page, my wife is pre-approved for $1000 in credit! Which means we can buy all the fruitcakes and cheesecakes we want and make monthly payments of only $35. Because sending everyone fruitcakes that you can't afford and making payments on them until October of 2015 is what the holiday spirit is all about.

GuitarStv

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2014, 10:17:43 AM »
I've always had a theory that there are only a finite number of fruitcakes in the world.  Since so few people ever actually eat them, I've suspected that they are simply re-gifted year after year over the millennia.  This gives me the hope that at some point (due to lost shipping, or discarding) we will no longer be subjected to the tyranny of oppressive fruitcake giving during the holidays.

Adventine

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2014, 10:42:40 AM »
I love fruitcake. I accept all holiday fruitcake/food for the gods/sticky-sweet-slightly-alcoholic-items with deep gratitude.
But this is fucking crazy.

fantabulous

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2014, 12:00:24 PM »
I've always had a theory that there are only a finite number of fruitcakes in the world.  Since so few people ever actually eat them, I've suspected that they are simply re-gifted year after year over the millennia.  This gives me the hope that at some point (due to lost shipping, or discarding) we will no longer be subjected to the tyranny of oppressive fruitcake giving during the holidays.

This made me think of wearing a monocle and tophat and selling fruitcake futures.

gimp

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2014, 12:05:29 PM »
I'll sell credit default swaps on the fruitcake futures.

southern granny

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2014, 01:03:59 PM »
We love fruitcake, but we make our own.... and even that ain't cheap.

dividendman

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2014, 07:07:49 PM »
When I read the subject of this thread I thought "fruitcake" was a metaphor for a crazy person.... I guess it still works somehow... cause you have to be bat-shit crazy to do this.

Annamal

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2014, 09:35:00 PM »
I've always had a theory that there are only a finite number of fruitcakes in the world.  Since so few people ever actually eat them, I've suspected that they are simply re-gifted year after year over the millennia.  This gives me the hope that at some point (due to lost shipping, or discarding) we will no longer be subjected to the tyranny of oppressive fruitcake giving during the holidays.

Have you tried the traditional British/NZ Christmas cake with a marzipan layer and white icing and appropriate quantities of alcohol (we used whiskey the last time we made it) soaked into it over a period of time?

It might be a matter of growing up with it but I really love it.


marty998

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2014, 10:51:50 PM »
I'll sell credit default swaps on the fruitcake futures.

Only if you let me securitise it first

GuitarStv

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Re: Finance your fruitcake
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2014, 06:18:27 AM »
I've always had a theory that there are only a finite number of fruitcakes in the world.  Since so few people ever actually eat them, I've suspected that they are simply re-gifted year after year over the millennia.  This gives me the hope that at some point (due to lost shipping, or discarding) we will no longer be subjected to the tyranny of oppressive fruitcake giving during the holidays.

Have you tried the traditional British/NZ Christmas cake with a marzipan layer and white icing and appropriate quantities of alcohol (we used whiskey the last time we made it) soaked into it over a period of time?

It might be a matter of growing up with it but I really love it.

Yep.