The Money Mustache Community
Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: paddedhat on May 08, 2016, 08:25:04 AM
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Our daughter invites us to dinner with the (potential future) in-laws. She lives in a hipster downtown of a medium sized city, mid-western city, and is enthralled with all of the trendy horseshit that comes with the location. Coffee houses, the latest restaurants. You know the drill.
The place that the kids picked is too busy to even think about accommodating a large table, but the FIL is one of those "I know the owner" types. So, we end up having to watch him as he makes his grand entrance, complete with the owner and staff kissing the ring, making it clear that he is a VIP. Dinner is Italian, grossly overpriced, an in order to really make an impression there is a whole lot of ordering of high end appetizers, and exotic mixed drinks. This is countered by the wife and I, who order an appetizer for our main course, and have water to drink. To really take assholism over the top, the lad's parents "simply can't drink city water" and consequently, there are probably four or five bottles of some designer water brought to the table and served like fine wine. I can only imagine that this whole display of idiocy added $30-40 to the bill. WTF?
The bill comes, and it's over $300. All the sudden there is a bit of furrowed brow action the part of the big shot and his kid. After a watching a few minutes of hushed conversation, and repeated counting of a pile of cash, I grow tired of watching this silliness, and toss some cash toward the kid. Now our meals, with drinks, totaled less than 15% of the bill, so my contribution covered our portion AND a 50% tip. As we leave this overpriced, underwhelming hipster shrine to anti-mustachian stupidity, the kid thanks dad for the meal, even though he split the tab with dad. Dad replies with "your welcome, your all welcome" while glancing at me. I'll never know if I was supposed to thank him for the meal I paid for, or the impressive show he put on?
I can only hope that my daughter snaps out of it, and that the whole lifestyle grows tiring. She wasn't raised like this, and certainly doesn't have the income to support this silliness. As for the future son in law, well it wouldn't break my heart if it doesn't work out. Thanks for listening, I'm done whining.
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I bet your daughter is quite the catch, and the pressure on the family to impress her parents is huge. They need to reassure dad especially that they will treat her like royalty, because dad has enormous influence on daughter's choice of spouse.
What comes later will be more telling because hopefully that pressure got relieved somewhat. Trust that your daughter sees something in the young man that wasn't apparent at this dinner, at least for now.
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Nice rant!
In-law stuff is always touchy. I have a story to share, for what it's worth: The wedding with my first SO was at City Hall in the '80's after many years of living together - no pomp and circumstance - all we'd planned on was a get-together for some close friends at our apartment. Then my family decided to host a small dinner reception in order to "pay back" invites to their circle, none of whom were part of our lives - we really didn't want them to do this, but they insisted, and they paid for it. FIL, MIL + 2 of SO's siblings + 1 sibling SO drove up from the U.S. for it, and grandma flew in from Europe (she visited the in-laws occasionally anyway so a trip of this kind was nothing out of the ordinary).
FIL was doing government contracting, making a lot of $, bragging about how he's in some elite club for high income peeps. They rented ONE very seedy motel room on the edge of town. Five people from three generations shared it - grandma had psoriasis, hadn't bathed in years and smelled to high heaven. One sib slept on the couch of the very small one bedroom apartment my SO and I were renting at the time. FIL, who subscribed to Gourmet Magazine, wanted to take my SO and I, and my parents, to a fancy French restaurant he remembered from when he used to work in the city. The bill arrived, and I honestly don't remember the discussion at the end of the meal except that I recall that FIL didn't expect to have to pay, but in the end he did. Hell, he extended the invite and chose the place.
I think the moral of the story is that it takes all kinds, and sometimes one has to grit their teeth, be as gracious as possible under the circumstances, and then never make the same mistake again. For my part, I never got married again :-)
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I bet your daughter is quite the catch, and the pressure on the family to impress her parents is huge. They need to reassure dad especially that they will treat her like royalty, because dad has enormous influence on daughter's choice of spouse.
LOL, We all love our kids, and I would do anything for mine, but "quite the catch" isn't part of the picture. Not that she is unattractive, but she can be a handful. I think it comes down to curiosity. The wife and I are nomads, we are home a few weeks a year, and spend most of our time travelling. I really think that, like many here, we are simply odd ducks, young retirees with the resources to do whatever we want, and happen to have a daughter who is fiercely independent, and doesn't need to show mommy and daddy off to anyone.
What comes later will be more telling because hopefully that pressure got relieved somewhat. Trust that your daughter sees something in the young man that wasn't apparent at this dinner, at least for now.
I actually can't be too hard on the young man, he has a pretty good handle on the hows and whys of who his dad is, and how he is going to avoid heading down that road. Hopefully they will do well together, if that is what she wants, in the end.
meghan88, thanks for a good story. You're right, the wife and I just smiled and got through the night. No need to get all chummy and go golfing with the guy, however.
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I always find it amazing when someone insists on an expensive place and then doesn't want to pay their share of the bill. When we go out with others unless we intend to treat and say so upfront we get separate checks. I do not expect someone to pay part of my meal, etc.
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I really think that, like many here, we are simply odd ducks
No need to get all chummy and go golfing with the guy, however.
Hell no, no need to socialize with them any more than absolutely necessary for your sanity. +1 on the "odd duck" comment. Yes, we all have our little buttons, don't we. Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same ...
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Thanks for sharing. My little princess is only two but I'm already dreading what meetings may lie in my future and how weird I'll feel in the very likely event that the other party is not at all like us (us odd ducks, that is;).
I have the opposity problem with my in-laws. They like crappy food and when we go out it's all these chain (or chain-like) restaurants that aren't at all expensive...but still not worth the money to me. So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
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I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
Canned?
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I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
Canned?
Yes, canned cheese, please. Oh wait, you meant canned chili. That too.
Reminds me of Ricky Bobby's dinner table lol.
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I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
Canned?
oh yeah everything will come out of a can. Pre-mixed spice mix too because mixing a few spices is too much. And Ritz with Velveeta as the appetizer. He'll be in heaven ;)
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I didn't think he was that bad until the 'too good for tap water' bit
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I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
Canned?
oh yeah everything will come out of a can. Pre-mixed spice mix too because mixing a few spices is too much. And Ritz with Velveeta as the appetizer. He'll be in heaven ;)
I mixed my own chili spices for the first time at 30 years old. I felt it was the pinnacle of adulthood.
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Two thoughts:
First, I know what I think of people who behave this way, but the real question is, How did your daughter react to /feel about this dinner? Would she rather she and Mr. Right develop into a couple who resembles you ... or the in-laws? Slightly less interesting, how did the potential son-in-law view the interaction between the two families?
Second, never judge someone by one incident. Yeah, I'm thinking they sound like pretentious blowholes too, but -- given that you may one day share grandchildren with this crew -- give them the benefit of the doubt, at least while you're new to one another. They may have been nervous about meeting you, may have had the idea they needed to impress you with a show.
I recommend you follow up with an invitation to your house. Serve a big pot of homemade soup (go ahead and use tap water in it) and fresh bread. See how things go.
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I have the opposity problem with my in-laws. They like crappy food and when we go out it's all these chain (or chain-like) restaurants that aren't at all expensive...but still not worth the money to me. So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
It's quite evident that our future son-in-law isn't used to good food, but he certainly has taken to it. He is enthralled with the idea of fresh ingredients and home cooked foods. He went to the farmers' market with us and was like a kid in a candy store. He's fascinated that we can reproduce restaurant meals at home -- and is very interested in comparing prices and in trying his own hand at making new foods for himself. His current goal in life: Own a grill of his own. He didn't come from a family that enjoys food and never really questioned that before meeting our daughter, but he's learning fast!
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Good rant. This would burn me.
Something similar happened to me when I was age 20 and went to sushi with some associates. My portion of the bill was probably 10%, but they wanted to split it even (25% each). I refused to pay 25%. It was very uncomfortable, but they finally agreed. However, unfortunately you do not have that luxury with the in-laws.
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You should be pleased the young man thanked his dad for the meal. It was very good manners; he was trying to save his father further embarrassment. It shows promise for how he might treat your daughter in the future.
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You should be pleased the young man thanked his dad for the meal. It was very good manners; he was trying to save his father further embarrassment. It shows promise for how he might treat your daughter in the future.
I'm on the fence when it comes to Jr. thanking dad. First, he and my daughter invited us to diner, so I was a bit disappointed that they expected some combination of themselves, and all parents, to pay the absolutely fucking ridiculous bill. I think it was mostly a "thanks for bailing me out of this mess" kind if comment. At their age, I specifically remember regularly inviting my parents for diner. It was a tray of homemade lasagna, or a turkey in the oven, and making sure that their preferred choice of beer and wine was on hand. We had no favorite high end restaurant, since we rarely went to any. Like I said in the beginning, for better or worse, my daughter wasn't raised like this. As for the dad being embarrassed? Seriously, that isn't part of this guy's DNA. An ego like that doesn't do embarrassed.
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You did the right thing. You kicked in some cash and avoided the awkward situation. Good on you for being the bigger person.
It will probably happen again. I recommend being the bigger person again.
Before it happens a third time, I recommend a heart to heart with the parties in question such that it doesn't happen again.
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:-) Great story.
I suspect he thinks you are a bigshot because you retired early and travel so much. The whole episode had kind of a "new money/old money" vibe. You are the old money, of course, because old money doesn't work, travels to their homes abroad (or their friends homes) for entertainment, eats mostly at home, and finds the whole restaurant scene to be "dreadful."
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I was taught that whomever does the inviting does the paying. If the future SIL invited the girlfriend's parents out to dinner, he pays. If he can only afford so much, he should have picked a less expensive place, or at least tell HIS PARENTS to not order so much. I think it's very bad form for the FIL to go cray cray in the ordering and then expect the girl's parents to pitch in.
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Good rant. This would burn me.
Something similar happened to me when I was age 20 and went to sushi with some associates. My portion of the bill was probably 10%, but they wanted to split it even (25% each). I refused to pay 25%. It was very uncomfortable, but they finally agreed. However, unfortunately you do not have that luxury with the in-laws.
I've never figured out how splitting bills like that became a thing. I mean, I can see pitchers of beer or appetizers or something getting split...but if I order a $75 dollar steak and four $24 manhattans, I can't even imagine expecting my buddy who ordered water and a plate of cheese fries to split the bill with me...
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Thanks for sharing. My little princess is only two but I'm already dreading what meetings may lie in my future and how weird I'll feel in the very likely event that the other party is not at all like us (us odd ducks, that is;).
I have the opposity problem with my in-laws. They like crappy food and when we go out it's all these chain (or chain-like) restaurants that aren't at all expensive...but still not worth the money to me. So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
To be honest, the only thing in that meal that I would want to eat is the bread (which sounds good). I don't like gourmet food in general, and if he's the same way then of course he's not going to appreciate that meal.
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When I invite someone out for dinner I expect to pay. When I'm on a trip with workmates the first thing we ask the wait staff is for separate checks, in my experience in removes a bunch of butt hurt since folks never order exactly the same and often forget how much tips, taxes and other fees add to a bill.
Mike
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When I invite someone out for dinner I expect to pay. When I'm on a trip with workmates the first thing we ask the wait staff is for separate checks, in my experience in removes a bunch of butt hurt since folks never order exactly the same and often forget how much tips, taxes and other fees add to a bill.
Mike
Indeed. There are also folks who simply pretend to be unable to add it all up, or who find reasons to stiff the server, in order to foist at least some of their costs onto their peers.
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So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
To be honest, the only thing in that meal that I would want to eat is the bread (which sounds good). I don't like gourmet food in general, and if he's the same way then of course he's not going to appreciate that meal.
I agree, he might be blown away if you serve well prepared freshly made simple food. Homemade chilli with freshly grated extra-sharp cheddar sounds more appealing to me than the pasta dish you served (I'll still take your bruschetta though).
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I always find it amazing when someone insists on an expensive place and then doesn't want to pay their share of the bill. When we go out with others unless we intend to treat and say so upfront we get separate checks. I do not expect someone to pay part of my meal, etc.
I honestly wonder if people just don't pay attention or don't realize that their portion of the bill is the overwhelming majority? This sort of thing has happened so often, with people I respect, that it seems unlikely all these people are fully aware they spent 70-80% of the check vs. our 20-30% (vegetarian + don't drink).
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I always find it amazing when someone insists on an expensive place and then doesn't want to pay their share of the bill. When we go out with others unless we intend to treat and say so upfront we get separate checks. I do not expect someone to pay part of my meal, etc.
I honestly wonder if people just don't pay attention or don't realize that their portion of the bill is the overwhelming majority? This sort of thing has happened so often, with people I respect, that it seems unlikely all these people are fully aware they spent 70-80% of the check vs. our 20-30% (vegetarian + don't drink).
I've seen this happen plenty, and I think people get used to "not paying attention" to the bill when it's not in their interest to do so. There's one guy in a group I go out with on occasion who *always* used to say "so let's just split this X ways" until a few of us started pushing back... he was upset about it at first, which I feel like shows he *must* have realized that he wasn't paying his fair share of the bill before (he usually has a couple more drinks than the average person at the table, and we are indeed generally at fancy hipster places where a couple of cocktails add up to real money).
I don't think these people think of themselves as deliberately screwing over their friends, but it's useful for them to be ignorant so they don't think about it too much.
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So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
To be honest, the only thing in that meal that I would want to eat is the bread (which sounds good). I don't like gourmet food in general, and if he's the same way then of course he's not going to appreciate that meal.
I agree, he might be blown away if you serve well prepared freshly made simple food. Homemade chilli with freshly grated extra-sharp cheddar sounds more appealing to me than the pasta dish you served (I'll still take your bruschetta though).
For the record, we're not some fancypants people who eat escargot all the time. My point got lost in the relative fanciness of our mother's day dinner (both my wife and MIL loved it though, and it was meant for them). We make plenty of simple "meat and potatoes" dinners at home. What I'm saying is that if I want to pay someone for cooking me steak, I won't go to Applebees to have one reheated for me. My in-laws will, though. And think it's a good deal because it was 12.99/person. Basically, no risk of crazy restaurant bills having to be split with them. However, I still don't like going out to eat with them because we'll end up at a crappy place where I don't value the food even if it ends up costing $10/person because I know that we can do MUCH better at home both in terms of quality and cost/plate. Unfortunately, FIL does not express much appreciation for food prepared at home...for whatever reason. MIL makes up for it though with public gratitude on facebook and the like.
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I always find it amazing when someone insists on an expensive place and then doesn't want to pay their share of the bill. When we go out with others unless we intend to treat and say so upfront we get separate checks. I do not expect someone to pay part of my meal, etc.
I honestly wonder if people just don't pay attention or don't realize that their portion of the bill is the overwhelming majority? This sort of thing has happened so often, with people I respect, that it seems unlikely all these people are fully aware they spent 70-80% of the check vs. our 20-30% (vegetarian + don't drink).
I've seen this happen plenty, and I think people get used to "not paying attention" to the bill when it's not in their interest to do so. There's one guy in a group I go out with on occasion who *always* used to say "so let's just split this X ways" until a few of us started pushing back... he was upset about it at first, which I feel like shows he *must* have realized that he wasn't paying his fair share of the bill before (he usually has a couple more drinks than the average person at the table, and we are indeed generally at fancy hipster places where a couple of cocktails add up to real money).
I don't think these people think of themselves as deliberately screwing over their friends, but it's useful for them to be ignorant so they don't think about it too much.
I do believe that they're aware of it at some level, but prefer to maintain a voluntary blindness so as to not have to own it. That way they can get the financial benefit of partially freeloading and benefiting disproportionately on a very regular basis, but the social benefit of being an equal contributor. If they were to acknowledge the extent to which they're manipulating their friends into paying for their consumption, they'd have to also address their habit of overconsuming. Most people aren't willing to do that.
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So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
To be honest, the only thing in that meal that I would want to eat is the bread (which sounds good). I don't like gourmet food in general, and if he's the same way then of course he's not going to appreciate that meal.
I agree, he might be blown away if you serve well prepared freshly made simple food. Homemade chilli with freshly grated extra-sharp cheddar sounds more appealing to me than the pasta dish you served (I'll still take your bruschetta though).
For the record, we're not some fancypants people who eat escargot all the time. My point got lost in the relative fanciness of our mother's day dinner (both my wife and MIL loved it though, and it was meant for them). We make plenty of simple "meat and potatoes" dinners at home. What I'm saying is that if I want to pay someone for cooking me steak, I won't go to Applebees to have one reheated for me. My in-laws will, though. And think it's a good deal because it was 12.99/person. Basically, no risk of crazy restaurant bills having to be split with them. However, I still don't like going out to eat with them because we'll end up at a crappy place where I don't value the food even if it ends up costing $10/person because I know that we can do MUCH better at home both in terms of quality and cost/plate. Unfortunately, FIL does not express much appreciation for food prepared at home...for whatever reason. MIL makes up for it though with public gratitude on facebook and the like.
Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
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My dad is like that if you take him to a buffet (he loves buffets so he can gorge) he's a happy camper. The fanciest he will ever get is Ruby Tuesday only because my stepmother is fond of them. Fancier more expensive places he would be most uncomfortable...
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My dad is like that if you take him to a buffet (he loves buffets so he can gorge) he's a happy camper. The fanciest he will ever get is Ruby Tuesday only because my stepmother is fond of them. Fancier more expensive places he would be most uncomfortable...
That's funny, my dad is the same way. Generally when he goes out to eat he'll pick at his food, but take him to a Chinese buffet and he'll eat enough that we'll need to roll him out of there. The last time I took him to one, he wasn't able to drive he was in such a food delirium...and he generally eats like a bird. It's always amusing to see him like this.
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Criticizing other people for their taste in food is pretty close to the ultimate in jack-assery in my book.
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I understand where you're coming from to a point. In-laws are easy to be annoyed with. But calling your daughter's choice of lifestyle "horseshit"? I'm sure you're above that. Why take fault with the in-laws being friends with a restaurant owner? It sounds to me like they went out of their way to get you a table at a place they genuinely enjoying dining at. There's nothing wrong with eating out occasionally, as long as they're not blowing their paycheck on it every month. The "city water" thing is dumb, I'll give you that. It sounds like they have their share of faults, but you should cut them a little slack too. People who live alternative lifestyles are awesome until they start lording it over others and acting superior.
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Growing up in the DC metro area I read this story and thought... $50 a head ain't bad.
Very awkward situation though. Gotta go clean expensive east coast thoughts out of my head.
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The guy clearly lacks manners as its common sense to pay if you invite people out.
Still, I think the OP comes off like a judgmental prick, 99% of western civilization does not consider "mineral water" as something obscene, maybe they have tab at home but since it was a first meeting they were trying not to look cheap.
Also, ordering an appetizer as a main course will clearly make the hosts uncomfortable in this kind of situation.
Just play along and be a functioning member of society, we don't have to prove a point every single damn time.
I personally would not give a damn, but it's funny how in this community we always rant about how "people" will judge you because you drive a civic, but then have no issue whatsoever writing a 400 word rant about a poor unknown person because they order Sanpellegrino the first time they have an official dinner with the potential in laws.
Edited to correct awful typos
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I understand where you're coming from to a point. In-laws are easy to be annoyed with. But calling your daughter's choice of lifestyle "horseshit"? I'm sure you're above that. Why take fault with the in-laws being friends with a restaurant owner? It sounds to me like they went out of their way to get you a table at a place they genuinely enjoying dining at. There's nothing wrong with eating out occasionally, as long as they're not blowing their paycheck on it every month. The "city water" thing is dumb, I'll give you that. It sounds like they have their share of faults, but you should cut them a little slack too. People who live alternative lifestyles are awesome until they start lording it over others and acting superior.
I'm not so sure that I would really back off the horseshit comment, even if it does sound harsh. My disappointment that my daughter has no savings, and little desire to emulate her parents beliefs on the issue of frugality, compounded by a fairly low income, can be expressed using that exact word. We have a six figure passive income, after FIRE, and we sure as hell don't live like she does. Eventually she will grow up and realize that she can't live the life of a trust fund brat, spending $50 PP, per meal, and other silliness, or maybe not, and she will end up with a painful financial crash heading her way.
Regrettably, you completely missed the point of the father's behavior, and the fact that he knew the owner. HE went out of HIS way to get a table in a place that HE enjoyed. He enjoys it because the staff, and owners, make a big scene and treat him like some greasy mafia don, when he walks in the door. He did it to impress the DW and I (giant fail) and, more importantly, to feed his ego. Remember this is the guy who took a snide swipe at me, since I didn't toss enough cash on the table to cover HIS multiple appetizers, thirty dollar entree and designer water, after we were invited to diner.
As for cutting them some slack, absolutely. The wife is a real nice person, who my daughter is quite close to. The son is growing on us, and recently crossed the threshold from, "Jees, I hope she dumps that douche" to, "well it's her choice, and he does have a good side". I guess I spent too long living in the 'burbs of NYC. I repeatedly ended up in public places where there were what the locals called the "Joey Jerk-offs". The guys who were too cool for the crowd, loud, needy, and obnoxious. Eventually these guys grow old and unfortunately, fail to age gracefully. I guess the deeper issue with my rant is that I'm most likely going to acquire one of these chucklenuts as a relative by marriage, and it isn't a pleasant thought.
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The guy clearly lacks manners as its common sense to pay if you invite people out.
Still, I think the OP comes off like a judgmental prick, 99% of western civilization does not consider "mineral water" as something obscene, maybe they have tab at home but since it was a first meeting they were trying not to look cheap.
I guess the issue with your though process on this is that much of western civilization is actually located WEST of the GWB, and would, in fact, view paying five bucks a 750 ML bottle of water, and have a waiter put on a show while serving, to be pretentious as hell. BTW, your defense of a half cent's worth of water, in a fancy bottle, for five bucks, will probably receive little sympathy in these parts, LOL
Also, ordering an appetizer as a main course will clearly make the hosts uncomfortable in this kind of situation.
Just play along and be a functioning member of society, we don't have to prove a point every single damn time.
It was 8:30 PM when we ordered. I am generally up, and productively engaged before six AM, and like a lot of fly over county hicks, end up eating at five ish. A hour before bed, I wasn't the least bit hungry, and order an app.(literally a smaller version of a main course on the menu) and a veggie side. The don was at the other end of a big table, behind a huge center piece arrangement, and I assure you, gave zero fucks as to what, and if, I was eating. Nobody was trying to make a point by failing to order large amounts of food, late in the evening, specifically to make anybody uncomfortable.Even if I was that devious, this guy sure as hell doesn't do "uncomfortable"
I personally would not give a damn, but it's funny how in this community we always rant about how "people" will judge you because you drive a civic, but then have no issue whatsoever writing a 400 word rant about a poor unknown person because they order Sanpellegrino the first time they have an official dinner with the potential in laws.
Edited to correct awful typos
I would have to assume that "Sanpellegrino" is a brand of trendy water that most of western civilization (NYC?)drinks at diner?
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Regrettably, you completely missed the point of the father's behavior, and the fact that he knew the owner. HE went out of HIS way to get a table in a place that HE enjoyed. He enjoys it because the staff, and owners, make a big scene and treat him like some greasy mafia don, when he walks in the door. He did it to impress the DW and I (giant fail) and, more importantly, to feed his ego. Remember this is the guy who took a snide swipe at me, since I didn't toss enough cash on the table to cover HIS multiple appetizers, thirty dollar entree and designer water, after we were invited to diner.
I also misintrepeted your point about the father as well. I know a few restaurants where we know the owner and have used that card to get better service, but it has never been for ego but because I want to maximize enjoyment. For instance in high school my friends were going to a restaurant that's owned by a friend. My dad called him on our behalf and we were served small dishes of lots of amazing foods instead of having to order, we were billed of course, but the personal attention by the owner as a friendly favor made a difference and everyone enjoyed it.
But yeah, I can see how people lorde who they know over other people. Everyone knows that person that claims to know everyone and name-drops all the time. Thankfully the only person I know that has the ability to name-drop is incredibly modest and I have to pry out details out of interest, he does meet a lot if interesting people.
As for your daughter, yeah I can understand your point of view. Hopefully things will get better as she gets older, I know growing up I was pampered and had an entitled mentality. Thankfully the real world kicked much of that out of me and I embraced my parent's frugality and used their wisdom become better at doing just about everything. Traits that I hated about my parents are things that I am finding more and more useful now and I regret not learning it sooner, or appreciating them when I was younger...but there's no time like the present.
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The guy clearly lacks manners as its common sense to pay if you invite people out.
Still, I think the OP comes off like a judgmental prick, 99% of western civilization does not consider "mineral water" as something obscene, maybe they have tab at home but since it was a first meeting they were trying not to look cheap.
BTW, your defense of a half cent's worth of water, in a fancy bottle, for five bucks, will probably receive little sympathy in these parts, LOL
Also, ordering an appetizer as a main course will clearly make the hosts uncomfortable in this kind of situation.
Just play along and be a functioning member of society, we don't have to prove a point every single damn time.
I am generally up, and productively engaged before six AM, and like a lot of fly over county hicks, end up eating at five ish.
it's funny how in this community we always rant about how "people" will judge you because you drive a civic, but then have no issue whatsoever writing a 400 word rant about a poor unknown person because they order Sanpellegrino the first time they have an official dinner with the potential in laws.
I would have to assume that "Sanpellegrino" is a brand of trendy water that most of western civilization (NYC?)drinks at diner?
I wasn't at all approving the guy's behavior.
I just said that you come off like somebody with an equally giant ego, and your last two posts filled with
"I am up at six I got shit to do", "I have a six figure passive income" and the general "if somebody disagrees with me he clearly doesn't understand"
Confirm my suspicion.
I think the last time I have bought bottled water at a restaurant or in a supermarket was maybe when I was 18, and yes, Sanpellegrino is a brand of mineral water sold everywhere in the world, and was not at all suggesting people should buy that.
My main point is:
If you meet somebody for the first time and he's a dick, but he also happens to be the parent of your daughter's boyfriend, you could maybe try play along and be above this stuff to avoid having HER feel like shit.
I would suspect your daughter did not feel extremely comfortable and at ease about your behavior.
Be a gentleman, comply to the stupid social dance that other guy "invited" you to, then after the fact talk to your daughter and tell her how big of an a hole this guy is.
Your six figure passive income should help you survive the hit.
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I wasn't at all approving the guy's behavior.
I just said that you come off like somebody with an equally giant ego, and your last two posts filled with
"I am up at six I got shit to do", "I have a six figure passive income" and the general "if somebody disagrees with me he clearly doesn't understand"
Confirm my suspicion.
Yea, we get it, you think I'm a dick, based on a few lines of a very long story.
To clarify, the income information was in response to another poster's comments, and nothing that ANYBODY I have any contact with IRW has any knowledge of. When it comes to being "deep under cover" you should meet my friends and family. Then tell them that you have inside info. that I FIREd to a $100K a year passive income, and a seven figure portfolio that we keep adding to. They will laugh until they have tears. The income comment was to illustrate that we could easily afford the "fountain of waste" lifestyle my daughter has chosen, but do not, since our philosophy, the one she was taught, aligns with the values of the members here.
I'm up at dawn because I have done so through a working career that started at thirteen, and continued for another 36 years. It is what it is, I like it, and as a result I typically get to bed by ten, and generally don't stuff my face with 1500 calories at 9 PM.
If you disagree with me, that's cool, but if you are judging with a lack of information, and calling me a dick, well you got the dick part right, but it describes your actions, not mine.
Perhaps a bit more info. on our mafia Don would help? The guy is a retired civil servant, with a very modest income. Totally cool by me, he could be living a modest lifestyle and enjoying his remaining time on this rock. Instead of dealing with it, he drags his family from one financial crisis to the next, insists on living in a new gated community, in a trophy home they cannot afford, and drives a leased Mercedes. If I have a low opinion of the guy, it isn't because I'm a dick, or some hick who doesn't drink designer water, it's because he is all about everything that I have no respect for, and at some level this lifestyle is manifesting itself in my daughter's decision making.
I think the last time I have bought bottled water at a restaurant or in a supermarket was maybe when I was 18, and yes, Sanpellegrino is a brand of mineral water sold everywhere in the world, and was not at all suggesting people should buy that.
My main point is:
If you meet somebody for the first time and he's a dick, but he also happens to be the parent of your daughter's boyfriend, you could maybe try play along and be above this stuff to avoid having HER feel like shit.
I would suspect your daughter did not feel extremely comfortable and at ease about your behavior.
Be a gentleman, comply to the stupid social dance that other guy "invited" you to, then after the fact talk to your daughter and tell her how big of an a hole this guy is.
Your six figure passive income should help you survive the hit.
You have made a MASSIVE assumption assuming that my wife and I were, and will continue to be, anything but polite and gracious in the presence of this couple. My daughter had a great time, was glad to see us, and was raving about the wonderful restaurant, as we left her for the evening. Next you recommend that I take the time to let my daughter know that her future FIL is an asshole. Sorry, but that's not how the wife and I lead our lives. We have had the kids at our home, and listened to a long rant for both of them, about what a asshole the mafia don is. Believe me, she already is well aware of who the guy is. Since we didn't know anything about the guy, ( and to that point, had no reason to speak a negative thought ) we remained silent, and will continue to do so.
Hopefully, you do realize that there is a difference between real world behavior, and venting on a forum full of like minded individuals? The thread has been interesting, and fortunately not full of posts like yours, that just erroneously assume that I am a dick, and a rude hick, who treats people like shit to prove a point. Are you the kind of guy who takes a verbal jab about being too cheap to contribute more than 150% of your portion of the tab, while smiling at the asshole who said it, and holding the door for him? I did. I guess that's part of what adults do when they, as you put it, " play along and make sure that others don't feel like shit". I'm also the kind of guy who didn't even tell my wife until the next day, an will never discuss it with my daughter. Some jerk-off who needs to confirm his true nature is nothing I need to dwell on, or discuss with his future daughter in law.
Finally, nice job with the second snide shot about the income.
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
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Writing a novel in response to every post suggesting you take a closer look at your own actions doesn't reflect well.
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Easy now fellas, the OP posted here because this is a place where he can do so to get it off his chest.
It's not like he can say any of this to his daughter or to his wife, and I know that my dad has bottled up slights from family and my sibling's spouse's families all the time and holding it inside sucks. Perhaps his tone might be unsavory but oh well, I'd rather him get it out here and then be able to get along with his daughter's future in-laws.
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I agree that this can be a good, safe place to vent. WE all need that sometime. I also hate when people order a bunch of stuff and then don't want to pay for their share.
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Easy now fellas, the OP posted here because this is a place where he can do so to get it off his chest.
It's not like he can say any of this to his daughter or to his wife, and I know that my dad has bottled up slights from family and my sibling's spouse's families all the time and holding it inside sucks. Perhaps his tone might be unsavory but oh well, I'd rather him get it out here and then be able to get along with his daughter's future in-laws.
I agree that this can be a good, safe place to vent. WE all need that sometime. I also hate when people order a bunch of stuff and then don't want to pay for their share.
+1
Both Cassie and MgoSam have taken the words from my mouth.
PaddedHat has provided valuable information in his responses to DIY questions, don't pick on him.
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Funny thing is that I read a post of a similar situation where this guy talked about eating dinner with his future in laws and he wanted to go all out as he rarely ever eats out. Therefore, he ended up nearly ordering everything on that italian menu.
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Writing a novel in response to every post suggesting you take a closer look at your own actions doesn't reflect well.
Assuming you are talking to me, I really think this is pretty unnecessary. First, I have responded to four members here, two were pleasant, and then there are you and seppia, who seem to have some odd axe to grind. Seppia needed to point out, repeatedly, how much of a dick I am, and made totally off the fucking charts assumptions and accusations, about things that never happened. I'm not sure exactly what your motivation is? But, the facts remain. The DW and I were involved with a pretty bizarre interaction with what will probably be the future inlaws. We both did exactly nothing to slight, embarrass, or disrespect these folks, didn't that night, and never will. I came here to express my absolute amazement about how it all went down, instead of quietly banging my head on the table, in private. Of the posts that directly responded to the original post, the vast majority understand what we went though. It was not a life changing, reality altering event. It was an odd evening with an odd dude. That kind of thing happens, and we move on. No need to call me names, or recommend that I engage in deep reflection on the fact that you have an issue with a non-event.
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Sometimes when people start to majorly annoy me I just quit responding to their posts. Sometimes you just can't win no matter what you say.
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
I know. It's one our favorite, rare treat kind of restaurants. The chef had recently won a James Beard award and we have always been blown away by the food and the experience, and knowing that they would probably not try it on their own, we were excited to share it with them. It sucked to feel like we had wasted our money trying to share it with them. I always struggle to find awesome gifts for them for birthdays or holidays, and I thought I spending an evening with them at a restaurant we love was a great solution. Lesson learned. :(
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
I know. It's one our favorite, rare treat kind of restaurants. The chef had recently won a James Beard award and we have always been blown away by the food and the experience, and knowing that they would probably not try it on their own, we were excited to share it with them. It sucked to feel like we had wasted our money trying to share it with them. I always struggle to find awesome gifts for them for birthdays or holidays, and I thought I spending an evening with them at a restaurant we love was a great solution. Lesson learned. :(
Is it the money issue, or is it their preference in food? I know, for example, that my wife would never enjoy going to a michelin-starred restaurant because she doesn't enjoy typical "fine dining" food choices. She prefers more basic comfort-food fare. It's not the money to her, it's the menu options.
You have to know your audience.
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OP's story made me cringe, particularly the part about counting money on the table and trying to figure things out. I feel your pain.
I experience extreme discomfort whenever I am in a situation where people start bickering and dickering over the check, who pays for what, how to split up shared appetizers, etc. I don't know where it comes from, it might have something to do with the years I spent in the restaurant industry.
If it all goes smoothly, I will just suffer through it. But at the first bump in the road, I will just tell the server to put all the appetizers on my check. If we hit a second or third bump, I will just giver the server my card and pay for the whole table.
Luckily, I only find myself in "lets cut the check up into 37 pieces" situations once or twice a year these days.
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I'm glad I have the in-laws I have. My father-in-law will not let any family member pay. The boss has spoken! (He's a self-made man, owns a hardware store in the old country, commercial and residential real estate, lives a frugal lifestyle, sent 4 kids to university in UK.)
I was taught by my father that 'He who invites, pays; reciprocate'.
My wife, I, my family, in-laws, aren't into fancy restaurants with the razzle dazzle. The food has to be good. We're not there to eat the furniture, art, décor, ambience, etc. The food better be good. I think we feel like a fish out of water in the fancy shmancy ritzy places. I can't recall having an awesome meal at the top dollar restaurants, but I know that my favorite Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Pizza, Italian, Cuban sandwiches, etc. come from mom-and-pop places in my city.
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LOL, We all love our kids, and I would do anything for mine, but "quite the catch" isn't part of the picture. Not that she is unattractive, but she can be a handful.
Am I the only one bothered by this statement? Way to denigrate your daughter in multiple ways.
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LOL, We all love our kids, and I would do anything for mine, but "quite the catch" isn't part of the picture. Not that she is unattractive, but she can be a handful.
Am I the only one bothered by this statement? Way to denigrate your daughter in multiple ways.
First, let's take a look at the post it references, and you tell me if I got the wrong impression from it?
I bet your daughter is quite the catch, and the pressure on the family to impress her parents is huge. They need to reassure dad especially that they will treat her like royalty, because dad has enormous influence on daughter's choice of spouse.
Now my take on this (right or wrong) is, "I bet your daughter is one cute little princess, who needs to be treated like royalty. Since she is nothing but a cute little princess, she doesn't make her own decisions, but relies heavily on pressure from daddy"
Well, that just isn't how the padded hat family rolls. We place little value on anybody being a "catch, hottie, or whatever. We have had exactly zero influence, or input, on who our children wish to select as their significant others. We have no interest in exerting any control over our adult children's lives, and we value fierce independence. Both my kids are successful, independent and tough as nails. They didn't get that way by being controlled by helicopter parents, or being raised to believe they are each special little, precious snowflakes.
So, my statement reflects the reality that this daughter is far from unattractive, and can be quite a looker with all the typical shit that comes with societal pressures to do so, heals, tight dress, face paint, etc...... Does she give a shit? no. Do we, no? As for being a handful, well that should be self-explanatory, she didn't get that way by accident.
Amazing to see the difference between being honest and including the whole picture, like I just did, and your cherry picking a bit of it, to accuse me of "denigrating my daughter". I have a daughter who works in social media for a career, yet has built homes with me, and for non-profits, isn't afraid to try anything from fixing broken furniture to rotating her tires, and sure as hell is a lot more useful, skilled, and productive than many of the hipster guys she hangs with. If I failed as a dad, you're gonna' need a bit more that what you got. Good luck finding it.
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
I know. It's one our favorite, rare treat kind of restaurants. The chef had recently won a James Beard award and we have always been blown away by the food and the experience, and knowing that they would probably not try it on their own, we were excited to share it with them. It sucked to feel like we had wasted our money trying to share it with them. I always struggle to find awesome gifts for them for birthdays or holidays, and I thought I spending an evening with them at a restaurant we love was a great solution. Lesson learned. :(
You missed my point.
Just because someone else treat's me does not make it any easier for me to waste money. If I go to a $100/plate restaurant I will feel it's a waste of money regardless of who pays. Even if my company pays I will still feel like it is a waste of money.
Particularly if I feel someone is trying to impress me with lavish spending.
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
I know. It's one our favorite, rare treat kind of restaurants. The chef had recently won a James Beard award and we have always been blown away by the food and the experience, and knowing that they would probably not try it on their own, we were excited to share it with them. It sucked to feel like we had wasted our money trying to share it with them. I always struggle to find awesome gifts for them for birthdays or holidays, and I thought I spending an evening with them at a restaurant we love was a great solution. Lesson learned. :(
You missed my point.
Just because someone else treat's me does not make it any easier for me to waste money. If I go to a $100/plate restaurant I will feel it's a waste of money regardless of who pays. Even if my company pays I will still feel like it is a waste of money.
Particularly if I feel someone is trying to impress me with lavish spending.
You could have hypertrophied frugality muscles. Other people's spending is causing you distress!
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
I know. It's one our favorite, rare treat kind of restaurants. The chef had recently won a James Beard award and we have always been blown away by the food and the experience, and knowing that they would probably not try it on their own, we were excited to share it with them. It sucked to feel like we had wasted our money trying to share it with them. I always struggle to find awesome gifts for them for birthdays or holidays, and I thought I spending an evening with them at a restaurant we love was a great solution. Lesson learned. :(
I have a real hard time enjoying the places my parents take me too because of the extreme cost, even though I know they can afford it. I could afford it too, but that's not how I want money to be spent. It seems insane. And sometimes it tells me they don't really know me very well if they think this is something I want.
I think you did a really nice thing; because you put thought into it and tried, but it sounds like you did something you would think was an awesome gift, instead of something they think is an awesome gift. Probably just spending time with you is an awesome gift, so rather than a taking them to a restaurant YOU love, next time take them to one they love. Even if that means an evening out at Applebees.
If I take my sister out for her birthday, we go to Del Friscos, because that is something she values. For my husband, we buy the steaks and make the same dinner at home, because that is something he values.
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I'm not so sure that I would really back off the horseshit comment, even if it does sound harsh. My disappointment that my daughter has no savings, and little desire to emulate her parents beliefs on the issue of frugality, compounded by a fairly low income, can be expressed using that exact word. We have a six figure passive income, after FIRE, and we sure as hell don't live like she does. Eventually she will grow up and realize that she can't live the life of a trust fund brat, spending $50 PP, per meal, and other silliness, or maybe not, and she will end up with a painful financial crash heading her way.
Not to be all super morbid about it, but could your daughter think that she can live the YOLO life because when you and your wife are gone, she is gonna get a huge windfall (given a 6 figure passive income) and that she CAN live like a trust fund baby?
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On our last date night, my parents babysat for us. When we got home, I put my wallet, keys, and the receipt from dinner on the island in the kitchen while I hung up my coat. It was a fancy dinner at an excellent restaurant in the trendy part of town, included a couple of mixed drinks and glasses of wine, several appetizers and dessert. Absolutely fabulous service so I tipped about 30%. My wife and I get to have a nice grown-up meal alone like twice a year, so we enjoy the experience and are willing to spend the money on it. My dad glanced at the bill of almost $300 and asked if I was insane. He asked if I knew how many Big Macs that would have bought. There's no way he would ever spend anything close to that on dinner for himself and my mother, so I would never even bother offering to take them to a place like that. When we take them out for dinner, Macaroni Grill is about as nice as we go, because they are uncomfortable in the trendy, high priced places. I haven't had a good meal there in like 5 years, but they enjoy it so we suck it up and are happy they are happy.
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Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
Something being a treat does not automatically make it easier to waste money.
I know. It's one our favorite, rare treat kind of restaurants. The chef had recently won a James Beard award and we have always been blown away by the food and the experience, and knowing that they would probably not try it on their own, we were excited to share it with them. It sucked to feel like we had wasted our money trying to share it with them. I always struggle to find awesome gifts for them for birthdays or holidays, and I thought I spending an evening with them at a restaurant we love was a great solution. Lesson learned. :(
You missed my point.
Just because someone else treat's me does not make it any easier for me to waste money. If I go to a $100/plate restaurant I will feel it's a waste of money regardless of who pays. Even if my company pays I will still feel like it is a waste of money.
Particularly if I feel someone is trying to impress me with lavish spending.
You could have hypertrophied frugality muscles. Other people's spending is causing you distress!
I would not have understood that because I've never felt that way. I guess I thought that the reason that they didn't go out to nice restaurants was that they didn't see that as a good use of their money. Didn't consider that maybe they don't see that as a good use of anyone's money. That might be the case, and would explain the way they acted. I hope they didn't think we were trying to "impress them with lavish spending." :(
I've certainly in my life been treated to nicer things/experiences than I would say I could afford - restaurants, vacations, experiences, and I've always enjoyed the heck out of it as the treat it was intended to be. I've also treated people I care about because I wanted them to experience something awesome. And the in-laws are the only ones who made me wish I'd just bought them a gift card somewhere.
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Didn't consider that maybe they don't see that as a good use of anyone's money.
I've been told by my boss that my expense reports are extraordinarily low, and he wanted to make sure I knew it was no problem at all to go to nice dinners when out on company business.
Even when it's not my money- it is hard to see it spent in a way that I find wasteful.
Of course, if I could get them to expense theatre tickets in the way they expense other people's drinking, I'd be thrilled to waste the company money!
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And the in-laws are the only ones who made me wish I'd just bought them a gift card somewhere.
That is kind of sad. You should never make a gift-giver feel bad.
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Didn't consider that maybe they don't see that as a good use of anyone's money.
I've been told by my boss that my expense reports are extraordinarily low, and he wanted to make sure I knew it was no problem at all to go to nice dinners when out on company business.
Even when it's not my money- it is hard to see it spent in a way that I find wasteful.
Of course, if I could get them to expense theatre tickets in the way they expense other people's drinking, I'd be thrilled to waste the company money!
When I travel for work, I consider a nice dinner compensation for the time away from my family. I'm not going crazy, but I'm not going to feel bad about some decent wine and a nice steak either. Doesn't hurt that I don't generally do much for breakfast (hotel continental bfast) or lunch (sandwich somewhere), so a nice dinner is fine.
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Didn't consider that maybe they don't see that as a good use of anyone's money.
I've been told by my boss that my expense reports are extraordinarily low, and he wanted to make sure I knew it was no problem at all to go to nice dinners when out on company business.
Even when it's not my money- it is hard to see it spent in a way that I find wasteful.
Of course, if I could get them to expense theatre tickets in the way they expense other people's drinking, I'd be thrilled to waste the company money!
When I travel for work, I consider a nice dinner compensation for the time away from my family. I'm not going crazy, but I'm not going to feel bad about some decent wine and a nice steak either. Doesn't hurt that I don't generally do much for breakfast (hotel continental bfast) or lunch (sandwich somewhere), so a nice dinner is fine.
Oh, I go out to eat extravagantly by my standards- easily $30-50 a day (and often our lunch is provided). But most people drink a lot so they are closer to $100 a day.
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Didn't consider that maybe they don't see that as a good use of anyone's money.
I've been told by my boss that my expense reports are extraordinarily low, and he wanted to make sure I knew it was no problem at all to go to nice dinners when out on company business.
Even when it's not my money- it is hard to see it spent in a way that I find wasteful.
Of course, if I could get them to expense theatre tickets in the way they expense other people's drinking, I'd be thrilled to waste the company money!
When I travel for work, I consider a nice dinner compensation for the time away from my family. I'm not going crazy, but I'm not going to feel bad about some decent wine and a nice steak either. Doesn't hurt that I don't generally do much for breakfast (hotel continental bfast) or lunch (sandwich somewhere), so a nice dinner is fine.
Oh, I go out to eat extravagantly by my standards- easily $30-50 a day (and often our lunch is provided). But most people drink a lot so they are closer to $100 a day.
You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exceptional cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Ruth's Chris is that way for me. I've made steaks at home that rival all the other decent steak houses, but Ruth's Chris does something special and I can't make anything near as good. That's why my wife and I try to get there 1x a year for a birthday, anniversary, etc.
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Ruth's Chris is that way for me. I've made steaks at home that rival all the other decent steak houses, but Ruth's Chris does something special and I can't make anything near as good. That's why my wife and I try to get there 1x a year for a birthday, anniversary, etc.
Ditto. Went there a couple weeks ago as it was walking distance from the wife's hotel accommodations. Porterhouse for two...dear God I almost died it was so good (and I make a mean steak at home just fine). I prematurely cashed out some CC cash back points to ease the pain but it was so worth it. I've never had a steak ever measure up to that delicious monstrosity. And it gave us leftovers for the next day. Double awesomeness.
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Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Whereas I've never had a steak at Del Friscos that I thought was worth even a small fraction of what they charged for it. I've never eaten a steak out that was worth the price though.
I mean, they make a damn good steak, don't get me wrong. But if we buy high quality meat, we can get pretty close to the same thing (in my opinion. I'll make sure not to serve steak if you ever come over ;))
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Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Whereas I've never had a steak at Del Friscos that I thought was worth even a small fraction of what they charged for it. I've never eaten a steak out that was worth the price though.
I mean, they make a damn good steak, don't get me wrong. But if we buy high quality meat, we can get pretty close to the same thing (in my opinion. I'll make sure not to serve steak if you ever come over ;))
I'm not familiar with steakhouses as my family generally avoids beef for religious reasons, so we didn't go to places like Ruth. What is the difference between their steaks and the ones we cook at home? Any advice for getting better steaks at home? I'm starting to appreciate grilling and would love advice at getting a better steak to result.
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I'm not familiar with steakhouses as my family generally avoids beef for religious reasons, so we didn't go to places like Ruth. What is the difference between their steaks and the ones we cook at home? Any advice for getting better steaks at home? I'm starting to appreciate grilling and would love advice at getting a better steak to result.
My favorite method is to sear quickly, usually in a pan, and finish in the oven. Then coat with a little butter.
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Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Whereas I've never had a steak at Del Friscos that I thought was worth even a small fraction of what they charged for it. I've never eaten a steak out that was worth the price though.
I mean, they make a damn good steak, don't get me wrong. But if we buy high quality meat, we can get pretty close to the same thing (in my opinion. I'll make sure not to serve steak if you ever come over ;))
I'm not familiar with steakhouses as my family generally avoids beef for religious reasons, so we didn't go to places like Ruth. What is the difference between their steaks and the ones we cook at home? Any advice for getting better steaks at home? I'm starting to appreciate grilling and would love advice at getting a better steak to result.
More cooking method than quality of beef; you can go to a good butcher and get high quality beef. Ruth Chris (and others) are excellent at being able to cook at EXTREMELY high heat, whereas I struggle to get my grill over about 700* on charcoal.
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I'm not familiar with steakhouses as my family generally avoids beef for religious reasons, so we didn't go to places like Ruth. What is the difference between their steaks and the ones we cook at home? Any advice for getting better steaks at home? I'm starting to appreciate grilling and would love advice at getting a better steak to result.
Visit AmazingRibs.com. It's like MMM mixed with the madfientist, but about grilling and BBQ.
His method varies based on the thickness of the steak. For steaks < 1 inch, add rub, lightly coat with veggie oil and sear as quickly as possible, rotating frequently to get the right color and avoid grill marks. For thicker steaks (what you'd find in a fancy steakhouse), he advocates the reverse sear method. So cook at low indirect heat (225 degrees F) until you get the meat to 120 or so. Then crank up the direct heat and sear both sides to serve the steak medium-rare.
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Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Whereas I've never had a steak at Del Friscos that I thought was worth even a small fraction of what they charged for it. I've never eaten a steak out that was worth the price though.
I mean, they make a damn good steak, don't get me wrong. But if we buy high quality meat, we can get pretty close to the same thing (in my opinion. I'll make sure not to serve steak if you ever come over ;))
I'm not familiar with steakhouses as my family generally avoids beef for religious reasons, so we didn't go to places like Ruth. What is the difference between their steaks and the ones we cook at home? Any advice for getting better steaks at home? I'm starting to appreciate grilling and would love advice at getting a better steak to result.
More cooking method than quality of beef; you can go to a good butcher and get high quality beef. Ruth Chris (and others) are excellent at being able to cook at EXTREMELY high heat, whereas I struggle to get my grill over about 700* on charcoal.
Yeah the heating method is key...the broilers they use are 1200* or more.
Also, I really do believe the quality of the meat is superior to what you can buy in a normal grocery store. Restaurants are buying whole sides of beef and dry aging...I'm not sure how many people are doing that at home.
In general I agree with iowajes...You can get damn close at home to what you can order at a restaurant. But I do believe the really high end steak places offer something better than what I can replicate on my grill or in my non-commerical broiler.
I also agree that when it comes to spending money at a restaurant, I'd prefer to go for seafood or ethnic cuisine that I can't replicate at all.
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Ruth's Chris is that way for me. I've made steaks at home that rival all the other decent steak houses, but Ruth's Chris does something special and I can't make anything near as good. That's why my wife and I try to get there 1x a year for a birthday, anniversary, etc.
I asked my friend (who was chef in a previous life) about this and he said the secret is butter and lots of it. They basically dump butter all over it, let it melt before putting it on the plate to be served.
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Ruth's Chris is that way for me. I've made steaks at home that rival all the other decent steak houses, but Ruth's Chris does something special and I can't make anything near as good. That's why my wife and I try to get there 1x a year for a birthday, anniversary, etc.
I asked my friend (who was chef in a previous life) about this and he said the secret is butter and lots of it. They basically dump butter all over it, let it melt before putting it on the plate to be served.
Oh trust me, I've tried that. Cooked up a nice ribeye and dumped melted butter on it. Still not the same. I really think it's the cooking temps.
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I'm not so sure that I would really back off the horseshit comment, even if it does sound harsh. My disappointment that my daughter has no savings, and little desire to emulate her parents beliefs on the issue of frugality, compounded by a fairly low income, can be expressed using that exact word. We have a six figure passive income, after FIRE, and we sure as hell don't live like she does. Eventually she will grow up and realize that she can't live the life of a trust fund brat, spending $50 PP, per meal, and other silliness, or maybe not, and she will end up with a painful financial crash heading her way.
Not to be all super morbid about it, but could your daughter think that she can live the YOLO life because when you and your wife are gone, she is gonna get a huge windfall (given a 6 figure passive income) and that she CAN live like a trust fund baby?
Interesting question. The most likely answer is no. First, there is the probability that I'll still be around thirty years from now, so it would be a long wait. Second, I know that she doesn't have half a clue as to our finances. The other issue is the fierce independence both kids developed. Once they stepped out of their universities, they have never asked us for a dime. They have both told us that one of the reasons for that is that they are surrounded by fellow grads who are up to their ears in student debt and barely surviving, and they didn't have to borrow a dime for their educations, since mom and dad covered it.
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So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
To be honest, the only thing in that meal that I would want to eat is the bread (which sounds good). I don't like gourmet food in general, and if he's the same way then of course he's not going to appreciate that meal.
I agree, he might be blown away if you serve well prepared freshly made simple food. Homemade chilli with freshly grated extra-sharp cheddar sounds more appealing to me than the pasta dish you served (I'll still take your bruschetta though).
Hold the cheese... :)
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This reminds me of when I was a Uni student and had a side gig as a caterer. I had a good friend who was very wealthy, his mother was an ambassador and the father worked in finance but he was incredibly stingy and I avoided going out with him because he often " forgot his wallet!"
He was a fun friend and I didn't have my drivers license so he offered to drive me (in my sisters car) to a meeting I had with a catering client. The catering gig was being finalised, they would select their food and pay the 50% deposit. Now I introduced my friend and proceeded with the discussions, then my friend butted in and made a dessert suggestion. This was awkward and crazy, I'm not going to cook something he suggests, it's not his business, they already made their selections etc. I was furious and the clients confused but I politely proceeded with the meeting, took our deposit and left. I decided not to make a fuss about it and move on. I suggested we go out for dinner and was thinking about a cheap noodle place in china town. My friend says he can pick a good place because he considers himself a foodie. He gets out a restaurant guide and chooses an expensive place, when I voice my concerns he says we should celebrate my catering gig. I'm a bit annoyed but consider that I just won't order much and I'm interested in trying this place since I grew up in the restaurant industry. Now because my friend is famous for forgetting his wallet I remind him to take some money out as we pass an atm. He assures me he has his wallet and enough money.
As it turns out the restaurant owner recognises me as my mother owned a famous restaurant supply business. It is well known that a certain restaurant reviewer for a big broadsheet is good friends with my mother and the restauranter brings him up and it so happens that I was ghost writing a cookbook with this restaurant reviewer. The restauranter is eager to impress me because of this connection and brings out free appetisers and dessert. We only had to cover our mains but because it was an expensive restaurant the bill came to over a hundred dollars. Now my friend would have been totally aware of the prices since it's mentioned in the restaurant guidebook and he chose the place. He only had $40 on him! I was furious, if we hadn't been comped so much food the bill would have been over $200 for me to pay. So I paid the bill and left a generous tip which is what I was trained to do since we eat at many client restaurants for my mothers business. As we were leaving my friend pocketed the tip I left! I was absolutely gobsmacked. After that incident I decided I no longer wanted to friends with him and I avoided him for a good six months. We did end up repairing the friendship as apart from his incredible stinginess he is actually a good friend but I refused to ever eat out with him. Many years later we met up and went to a cheese place, I was fully expecting to have to foot the bill but to my surprise he said he would pay and told me that I had paid for him so often as Uni students it was his turn now that he had a job.
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Ruth's Chris is that way for me. I've made steaks at home that rival all the other decent steak houses, but Ruth's Chris does something special and I can't make anything near as good. That's why my wife and I try to get there 1x a year for a birthday, anniversary, etc.
I asked my friend (who was chef in a previous life) about this and he said the secret is butter and lots of it. They basically dump butter all over it, let it melt before putting it on the plate to be served.
Oh trust me, I've tried that. Cooked up a nice ribeye and dumped melted butter on it. Still not the same. I really think it's the cooking temps.
Ohhh, love the Ruth's Chris sizzling butter -- your plate actually is served with the butter still sizzling! From their website: "At Ruth's Chris, your last bite is just as good as your first. Our perfected broiling method and seasoning techniques ensure each cut of USDA Prime beef we serve arrives cooked to perfection and sizzling on a 500° plate—just the way Ruth liked it."
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You mentioned Del Frisco's before...that place is EXACTLY my idea of the perfect place to eat on expense account!
Except the bacon they put on their salad (there is something magical about that): Del Friscos is a meal we can easily make at home (my husband is an exception cook)- I just cannot do it. Except for my sister who adores the place, so it's her fancy occasion thing. I'd rather go to a cheap empanada or Thai food or something like that, because it's harder for me to get at home.
Yeah, I can't agree with that. I've never had a home cooked steak in my life that was even 50% as good as Del Friscos.
Ruth's Chris is that way for me. I've made steaks at home that rival all the other decent steak houses, but Ruth's Chris does something special and I can't make anything near as good. That's why my wife and I try to get there 1x a year for a birthday, anniversary, etc.
The last time I went to Ruth's Chris I was kind of sickened by all of the butter they put on everything. Thats what I remember--everythng swimming in butter. Im sure that the steak was fine but OmG butter!
Since we for years got beef from DH's family farm, we are picky about hunks of beef at restaurants. While Ruth' Chris and similar jonts have lovely thick cuts that we dont have, their beef is only a notch or two above what we eat. And then there is ths place in St. louis called
Mortons' Steakhouse house that is the most absurdly pretentious place Ive ever been to. Each dish is a la carte and expensive. The decor is not interesting or rich looking or fresh. And then, they have a special locker for each diner who wants to keep their own personal wines at the restaurant. I cannot grok that.
I'm just not a fan of high end steakhouses, but I love going to high end restaurants otherwise. Love high end Italian or fusion or new cuisine/James Beard young chef types of places.
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Interesting Rant - I am sure the in-laws are talking about you as much as you are talking about them. For non-mustachians, this dinner seems like a very normal dinner. This type of meal is something that we have on a regular basis with family and friends. It would not be unusual to drop $300 for six people. Drinks, Appetizers, entre and dessert is not crazy for a special event. Obviously, the father-in-law thought that this was a special meeting of the potential new family. He probably is telling his friends and family how anti-social you were not to partake in the special meal.
I can see him saying, "Can you believe that they only ordered an appetizer and tap water, they didn't partake in the celebration. They looked at us like we were crazy the whole time. Then when the bill came they were going to stick the bill to our lovely son and his fiancé. Crazy, huh. They make good money, but they were going to make this up and coming couple pick up the bill. Really cheap, right? He finally threw a few bills in the pile but I had to pick up most of the cost. I am not sure about these in-laws. I hope my son is not making a huge mistake with his love of his life. They were really rude, I hope she isn't like her parents."
I think MMM would have had a blast at the meal, paid way more than his fair share, and been a partaking in the celebration. Next time he would orchestrate the social events to his house. He would invite them to his house for an amazing meal, drinks, coffee, beer, dessert, fancy cheese, etc. MMM is never cheap, especially with family and friends.
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Tomsang, LOL, you're right. A self absorbed, narcissist like the other dad definitely analyzed everything to the excruciating detail you describe, as he reflected on the evenings events. We are talking about a guy with horrendously styled and dyed hair, some kind of a mafia style leisure suit, and a trump like ego. I doubt he can even recall my name at this point, which doesn't trouble me in the least.Regrettably, you have a swing and a miss on this one.
Your MMM fantasy is entertaining however. I seriously doubt that a guy like Pete would be dropping a wad of cash to impress anybody, or to cover other peoples out of control spending. Actually, let me rephrase that, there is no fucking way he would do that. Secondly, I would doubt that he would be inviting this couple over for a wine and cheese party. Maybe it's just me, but if I really find somebody's behavior to be offensive, I don't go out of my way to invite them to my own home for "amazing" anything. My home is for friends, and family, this chucklenut is neither.
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Tomsang, LOL, you're right. A self absorbed, narcissist like the other dad definitely analyzed everything to the excruciating detail you describe, as he reflected on the evenings events. We are talking about a guy with horrendously styled and dyed hair, some kind of a mafia style leisure suit, and a trump like ego. I doubt he can even recall my name at this point, which doesn't trouble me in the least.Regrettably, you have a swing and a miss on this one.
So basically you're saying he's not as petty as you are?
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Funny !
Sounds just like my sister in law. She absolutely loves that big city downtown atmosphere with $400 dinners, $100 per bottle wine, $20 martinis, etc. always trying to get us to go along.
Then when she gets around others she just goes on and on about these high priced muckety muck joints and how great they are.
No thanks.
The money doesn't bother me near as bad as the phony atmosphere and people.
I'd prefer to grill a steak sitting by a campfire at the lake any day over that crap.
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Tomsang, LOL, you're right. A self absorbed, narcissist like the other dad definitely analyzed everything to the excruciating detail you describe, as he reflected on the evenings events. We are talking about a guy with horrendously styled and dyed hair, some kind of a mafia style leisure suit, and a trump like ego. I doubt he can even recall my name at this point, which doesn't trouble me in the least.Regrettably, you have a swing and a miss on this one.
So basically you're saying he's not as petty as you are?
I'm glad I didn't have anything in my mouth when I read this, LMAO.
No, sadly I am no looker, by a long shot. Closest mental description I could think of would be the grey haired love child of Roseanne Barr and Grizzly Adams. I generally remember to brush my teeth, and occasionally trim the beard back, to reduce small animal infestations, but I'm nothing compared this guy.
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Tomsang, LOL, you're right. A self absorbed, narcissist like the other dad definitely analyzed everything to the excruciating detail you describe, as he reflected on the evenings events. We are talking about a guy with horrendously styled and dyed hair, some kind of a mafia style leisure suit, and a trump like ego. I doubt he can even recall my name at this point, which doesn't trouble me in the least.Regrettably, you have a swing and a miss on this one.
So basically you're saying he's not as petty as you are?
I'm glad I didn't have anything in my mouth when I read this, LMAO.
No, sadly I am no looker, by a long shot. Closest mental description I could think of would be the grey haired love child of Roseanne Barr and Grizzly Adams. I generally remember to brush my teeth, and occasionally trim the beard back, to reduce small animal infestations, but I'm nothing compared this guy.
Not "pRetty"...I wrote "petty". As in "mean or ungenerous in small or trifling things".
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My home is for friends, and family, this chucklenut is neither.
Sounds like Daddy does not approve of his little daughter's future husband. I am concerned about the negativity that you project towards your daughter's future father-in-law. Hopefully, it is limited to this chat board, but if you have the disdain that you reflect upon him I worry that it is seeping out to your daughter, her future husband, and the in-laws. You may be projecting negativity without knowing it to them, which puts them both in a challenging situation of both of them loving their parents, but despising how the other one acts or treats the family. And your quote about only inviting friends and family is interesting as you started off the thread saying that your daughter may be marrying soon, with a jab at the future father-in-law calling him a chucklenut.
Most of your quotes are very insulting to this potential in-law.
I can only hope that my daughter snaps out of it, and that the whole lifestyle grows tiring. She wasn't raised like this, and certainly doesn't have the income to support this silliness. As for the future son in law, well it wouldn't break my heart if it doesn't work out.
The son is growing on us, and recently crossed the threshold from, "Jees, I hope she dumps that douche" to, "well it's her choice, and he does have a good side". I guess the deeper issue with my rant is that I'm most likely going to acquire one of these chucklenuts as a relative by marriage, and it isn't a pleasant thought.
As for the dad being embarrassed? Seriously, that isn't part of this guy's DNA. An ego like that doesn't do embarrassed.
"Perhaps a bit more info. on our mafia Don would help? The guy is a retired civil servant, with a very modest income. Totally cool by me, he could be living a modest lifestyle and enjoying his remaining time on this rock. Instead of dealing with it, he drags his family from one financial crisis to the next, insists on living in a new gated community, in a trophy home they cannot afford, and drives a leased Mercedes. If I have a low opinion of the guy, it isn't because I'm a dick, or some hick who doesn't drink designer water,
it's because he is all about everything that I have no respect for, and at some level this lifestyle is manifesting itself in my daughter's decision making. "
We are talking about a guy with horrendously styled and dyed hair, some kind of a mafia style leisure suit, and a trump like ego. I doubt he can even recall my name at this point, which doesn't trouble me in the least.Regrettably, you have a swing and a miss on this one.
Maybe it's just me, but if I really find somebody's behavior to be offensive, I don't go out of my way to invite them to my own home for "amazing" anything. My home is for friends, and family, this chucklenut is neither.
Be as nice as you can be to your daughter's future father-in-law.
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Tom, there really is no need to quote everything comment I made regard to the guy, or decide that you are a self-appointed psychiatrist. As I said previously, I came HERE to comment on a brief encounter with a real character whom I have no respect for, or interest in being involved with. I was not looking for relationship advice for one very specific reason. That being, my opinions expressed here have nothing to do with how I handled, or will continue the handle, occasional contact with him. It's simple, we have both geographic and emotional distance from the situation. If my daughter's relationship with her SO continues, there may be a few hours at a wedding, or similar affair, where we will interact, in the coming years. Like the first event, I am perfectly capable of being gracious and civil, when it happens. I would also expect that he would continue to be the same dick he was, and that's fine. It's no different that a client, in my business. Some revealed themselves to be great people who you develop long term relationships with, some were decent and the projects were uneventful, some are assholes. Everybody gets treated with the same respect, in the context of the "golden rule".
Your concern for my daughter is also misplaced. I already stated that the wife and I will not be speaking negatively of him, if the daughter brings the matter up. If you recall, as you dug through all these posts, I also stated the my daughter AND her SO both think Mr. Mafia is a world class asshole. Thereby making it a bit difficult to harm my daughter's relationship with him by speaking negatively, which as were are aware, I won't do anyway.
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Tomsang, LOL, you're right. A self absorbed, narcissist like the other dad definitely analyzed everything to the excruciating detail you describe, as he reflected on the evenings events. We are talking about a guy with horrendously styled and dyed hair, some kind of a mafia style leisure suit, and a trump like ego. I doubt he can even recall my name at this point, which doesn't trouble me in the least.Regrettably, you have a swing and a miss on this one.
So basically you're saying he's not as petty as you are?
I'm glad I didn't have anything in my mouth when I read this, LMAO.
No, sadly I am no looker, by a long shot. Closest mental description I could think of would be the grey haired love child of Roseanne Barr and Grizzly Adams. I generally remember to brush my teeth, and occasionally trim the beard back, to reduce small animal infestations, but I'm nothing compared this guy.
Not "pRetty"...I wrote "petty". As in "mean or ungenerous in small or trifling things".
MY bad, my brain immediately went to pretty, and the laughing began. As for petty, I would assume it to be a snarky question, and I have to be honest, I really couldn't care. There is a rather strange minority of the posters here who have some pretty odd responses, including name calling, attacking my character, and being junior psychologists. Whatever does it for you, if you need to see me as petty, if you need to conjure imaginary slights to my daughter, or pretend that you are the next Dear Abby, please don't let me get in the way. If it blows your skirt up, feel free...............As for me, I'm off to work on getting pretty.
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MY bad, my brain immediately went to pretty, and the laughing began. As for petty, I would assume it to be a snarky question, and I have to be honest, I really couldn't care. There is a rather strange minority of the posters here who have some pretty odd responses, including name calling, attacking my character, and being junior psychologists. Whatever does it for you, if you need to see me as petty, if you need to conjure imaginary slights to my daughter, or pretend that you are the next Dear Abby, please don't let me get in the way. If it blows your skirt up, feel free...............As for me, I'm off to work on getting pretty.
You are exhibiting the same behavior towards "Mr. Mafia." Your failure to recognize that and your mean spirited/defensive posting style rub some here the wrong way. There's nothing odd about it.
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Man, it's not that the world is out to get you.
It's that every time somebody suggests "hey maybe you're being a dick as well" you respond in a way that actually proves and reinforces the point.
This is a very supportive community in general, if you experience some criticism you could maybe start thinking something other than "you are all trolls/wrong"
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This is the point-and-laugh board, where we openly mock people in ways that we would never do in front of them. Paddedhat is doing exactly that. Why is he being told he's acting like a dick and has relationship problems? He has made it abundantly clear that he is NOT saying any of this to the person he's talking about, or to his daughter. People need to lay off.
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This is the point-and-laugh board, where we openly mock people in ways that we would never do in front of them. Paddedhat is doing exactly that. Why is he being told he's acting like a dick and has relationship problems? He has made it abundantly clear that he is NOT saying any of this to the person he's talking about, or to his daughter. People need to lay off.
Agreed. i enjoyed vicariouly meetin magia don thru OP.
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It was fun to read about.
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My husband is someone who always wants to split the bill equally when we go out in a group. He doesn't like fussing after a meal with working out who had what, and I've never heard of being able to ask for separate bills (UK). However, he's often the one who ordered something expensive and had wine whereas I'll have had water or a lemonade and ordered the least expensive (vegetarian) option. In my experience, after I have pointed out to him (after the fact) the vast difference between our respective portions of the bill, he is surprised that his was so much more. It's not that he doesn't pay attention to what he has ordered, but he doesn't pay attention to what everyone else ordered. He knows I don't drink but he doesn't really pay attention to it. He knows he ordered the duck but he doesn't really pay attention to what I ordered. Not because he's an asshole but because we're all talking and having fun and interacting with the other people as much as with the food, let alone other people's food. I'm sure it's not true for everyone, but I just thought I'd offer a small comment on people who assume that splitting the bill equally is fair. (If they have a big argument about it after it's pointed out, that's another matter...)
I also feel uncomfortable in fancy restaurants, whereas he loves them. It's not so much the expense for me as the atmosphere. I feel like I can't chatter and enjoy myself because it's all so smart and the waiters are just lurking behind you silently, making you feel judged for everything you order and the way you eat... I just can't relax in a place like that, no matter how good the food is. I do have good table manners and I do know how to behave in fancy restaurants but I still just don't feel comfortable. I'd rather go to our local pizza place, even if it is a bit crappy, because I can have fun there.
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This is the point-and-laugh board, where we openly mock people in ways that we would never do in front of them. Paddedhat is doing exactly that. Why is he being told he's acting like a dick and has relationship problems? He has made it abundantly clear that he is NOT saying any of this to the person he's talking about, or to his daughter. People need to lay off.
Agreed. i enjoyed vicariouly meetin magia don thru OP.
Agreed. I thought paddedhat expressed the situation well. Describing a spendypants asshole trying to swing a big dick isn't a character flaw.... My guess is the critics get the description of The Don hit a little too close to home
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This is the point-and-laugh board, where we openly mock people in ways that we would never do in front of them. Paddedhat is doing exactly that. Why is he being told he's acting like a dick and has relationship problems? He has made it abundantly clear that he is NOT saying any of this to the person he's talking about, or to his daughter. People need to lay off.
+1000
Well said Nora.
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The guy clearly lacks manners as its common sense to pay if you invite people out.
Still, I think the OP comes off like a judgmental prick, 99% of western civilization does not consider "mineral water" as something obscene, maybe they have tab at home but since it was a first meeting they were trying not to look cheap.
I guess the issue with your though process on this is that much of western civilization is actually located WEST of the GWB, and would, in fact, view paying five bucks a 750 ML bottle of water, and have a waiter put on a show while serving, to be pretentious as hell. BTW, your defense of a half cent's worth of water, in a fancy bottle, for five bucks, will probably receive little sympathy in these parts, LOL
Also, ordering an appetizer as a main course will clearly make the hosts uncomfortable in this kind of situation.
Just play along and be a functioning member of society, we don't have to prove a point every single damn time.
It was 8:30 PM when we ordered. I am generally up, and productively engaged before six AM, and like a lot of fly over county hicks, end up eating at five ish. A hour before bed, I wasn't the least bit hungry, and order an app.(literally a smaller version of a main course on the menu) and a veggie side. The don was at the other end of a big table, behind a huge center piece arrangement, and I assure you, gave zero fucks as to what, and if, I was eating. Nobody was trying to make a point by failing to order large amounts of food, late in the evening, specifically to make anybody uncomfortable.Even if I was that devious, this guy sure as hell doesn't do "uncomfortable"
I personally would not give a damn, but it's funny how in this community we always rant about how "people" will judge you because you drive a civic, but then have no issue whatsoever writing a 400 word rant about a poor unknown person because they order Sanpellegrino the first time they have an official dinner with the potential in laws.
Edited to correct awful typos
I would have to assume that "Sanpellegrino" is a brand of trendy water that most of western civilization (NYC?)drinks at diner?
Just a brand of sparkling mineral water (not water with added carbonation). Usually $1 or so a bottle on average at Costco, not high end stuff. Restaurants however make bank on these and other beverages.
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THANK YOU, paddedhat, for refusing to apologize for your story or the way you told it. It was funny and enlightening to read your anecdote about this annoying person. Due to your vivid descriptions, I could very easily visualize Mr. Mafia Don and his irksome behavior, which amused me very much (this is a mark of good storytelling, btw). I, too, have noticed these "weird" posters to which you refer on this forum. They are looking to get offended and attempt to shame more boisterous posters such as yourself into toeing the line and constructing posts in a more "appropriate" fashion. In other words, they are attempting to censor your speech.
If you are so easily offended by a satirical anecdote and cannot fathom the idea that a man's writing style is separate from his character or how he behaves IRL, you're better off not reading posts here, as others have pointed out. This sub-topic is the 100% appropriate place to anonymously call out ridiculous people in your life for being "dicks", "douches", or <gasp> even "bitches" with reckless abandon and ought to remain that way. That's what makes it FUN. Remember fun? It's the thing no one's allowed to have anymore because it could be mildly offensive to someone you don't know and will most likely never meet.
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I love mining the oldie but goody threads, and this one is a gem.
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I was afraid to open a thread titled with "fancy dinner" and "exploding fountain of waste" assuming it was headed in a much different direction. I'm glad I was wrong.
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Enjoyed the story -- thanks for sharing! Side rant: the often unavoidable period of who owes up after a large group dinner is very annoying. It took all of one meal in Germany to see how inefficient the U.S. is:
Group of ten, server had the bill and went around to each couple/person to pay individually, checking the items off as she went. Tax is included and a few euros tip per person is appreciated/quickly passed, so our bill was handled with no discomfort or awkwardness whatsoever in around two minutes. And if the place is busy (or fancy) and the bill is just brought to the table, the tax inclusion + easy tipping system makes it just as easy for us to divvy up ourselves.
Four years of this magic (+3-4 euro quality half liters) and it's hard to pull the wool back over the eyes.
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Enjoyed the story -- thanks for sharing! Side rant: the often unavoidable period of who owes up after a large group dinner is very annoying. It took all of one meal in Germany to see how inefficient the U.S. is:
Group of ten, server had the bill and went around to each couple/person to pay individually, checking the items off as she went. Tax is included and a few euros tip per person is appreciated/quickly passed, so our bill was handled with no discomfort or awkwardness whatsoever in around two minutes. And if the place is busy (or fancy) and the bill is just brought to the table, the tax inclusion + easy tipping system makes it just as easy for us to divvy up ourselves.
Four years of this magic (+3-4 euro quality half liters) and it's hard to pull the wool back over the eyes.
Just a note the inefficiency is regional in my experience. In Texas, separate checks are assumed/established at the beginning of the meal by the server. I've always gotten a check that had just me/me and SO's items on there.
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Enjoyed the story -- thanks for sharing! Side rant: the often unavoidable period of who owes up after a large group dinner is very annoying. It took all of one meal in Germany to see how inefficient the U.S. is:
Group of ten, server had the bill and went around to each couple/person to pay individually, checking the items off as she went. Tax is included and a few euros tip per person is appreciated/quickly passed, so our bill was handled with no discomfort or awkwardness whatsoever in around two minutes. And if the place is busy (or fancy) and the bill is just brought to the table, the tax inclusion + easy tipping system makes it just as easy for us to divvy up ourselves.
Four years of this magic (+3-4 euro quality half liters) and it's hard to pull the wool back over the eyes.
Just a note the inefficiency is regional in my experience. In Texas, separate checks are assumed/established at the beginning of the meal by the server. I've always gotten a check that had just me/me and SO's items on there.
I’ve also learned that it is a US thing for the waiter to take your card to the back, instead of taking a reader out to the table. We had a work meal with someone from Canada. He was really unsettled when the waiter wanted to take his card away from the table. Having now been to a place where the waiter just brings out a card reader and sorts things out right at the table, I’m a big fan of that system.
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I would prefer the waiter bring a card reader to the table. We once had a waiter change our tip amount without our knowledge. Fortunately there was other fraud against other people too and we were notified by the restaurant.
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I would prefer the waiter bring a card reader to the table. We once had a waiter change our tip amount without our knowledge. Fortunately there was other fraud against other people too and we were notified by the restaurant.
It is happening slowly in my city; some of the restaurants we use have started bring card/chip readers to the table, with the option to pay via NFC - touchless transactions FTW!
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Even better is we have several restaurants using a Toast system and they bring you a bill with a QR code, scan the QR with your smartphone and pay on a website it brings you too. Then it emails you a receipt and you leave. Once your waiter brings your bill your interactions with them are done, no need to wait for them to come back for your card and then come back again with your card.
https://pos.toasttab.com/products/pay-at-table
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Even better is we have several restaurants using a Toast system and they bring you a bill with a QR code, scan the QR with your smartphone and pay on a website it brings you too. Then it emails you a receipt and you leave. Once your waiter brings your bill your interactions with them are done, no need to wait for them to come back for your card and then come back again with your card.
https://pos.toasttab.com/products/pay-at-table
Just to be clear, all of these discussions about restaurants are talking about 2019, right? I’m pretty sure I won’t be having anything other than take-out for at least another year.
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Even better is we have several restaurants using a Toast system and they bring you a bill with a QR code, scan the QR with your smartphone and pay on a website it brings you too. Then it emails you a receipt and you leave. Once your waiter brings your bill your interactions with them are done, no need to wait for them to come back for your card and then come back again with your card.
https://pos.toasttab.com/products/pay-at-table
Just to be clear, all of these discussions about restaurants are talking about 2019, right? I’m pretty sure I won’t be having anything other than take-out for at least another year.
We have a vibrant downtown area in my town, and they shut down the main intersection and allowed restaurants to set up outdoor seating in the summer/fall. And the toast thing was a byproduct of them looking for touch less ways to do business.
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I just want to know if @paddedhat ended up with this guy as an in-law!
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Even better is we have several restaurants using a Toast system and they bring you a bill with a QR code, scan the QR with your smartphone and pay on a website it brings you too. Then it emails you a receipt and you leave. Once your waiter brings your bill your interactions with them are done, no need to wait for them to come back for your card and then come back again with your card.
https://pos.toasttab.com/products/pay-at-table
Just to be clear, all of these discussions about restaurants are talking about 2019, right? I’m pretty sure I won’t be having anything other than take-out for at least another year.
Probably not. Loads of people are still eating in restaurants.
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I just want to know if @paddedhat ended up with this guy as an in-law!
Unfortunately paddedhat hasn't been on the forum since 2017 so we may never know.
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I just want to register my approval of the subject line. I can't read it without visualizing a sewage cannon in the middle of the table. Now that's presentation. You could even rationalize it as some kind of molecular gastronomy.
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Just to be clear, all of these discussions about restaurants are talking about 2019, right? I’m pretty sure I won’t be having anything other than take-out for at least another year.
We had really low numbers (like five active cases in a city of 100,000) during summer with lots of outdoor options and distanced tables. We leaped several years in going cashless here in Germany in the past year.
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Oh man, I miss paddedhat on here. Hope he’s doing ok.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Oh man, I miss paddedhat on here. Hope he’s doing ok.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Well, I hope so. But it's probably unrealistic to expect him back given what happened.
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I love mining the oldie but goody threads, and this one is a gem.
When I saw this post was active again, I was expecting a great story about how Padded Hat was now being expected to pay for his daughter's lavish wedding to the son of a mafia Don... oh well.
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I liked the story and agreed with the premise that the dinner was ostentatious and contained a lot of unnecessary elements, though personally I would have tried to just enjoy it in good faith; even if it was an ego exercise for the in-laws, many people do have egos (including all of us) and not all of us are subtle about the way we massage ours. I would have tried to take the evening in a bit better humour. After all when you get pissed off at other people's ostentatiousness it's ultimately you who suffers.
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I love mining the oldie but goody threads, and this one is a gem.
When I saw this post was active again, I was expecting a great story about how Padded Hat was now being expected to pay for his daughter's lavish wedding to the son of a mafia Don... oh well.
We know someone who had one of those weddings. The dress cost $20,000, and I remember the engagement ring being $100,000. I have no idea who paid for the wedding, but it was certainly lavish, and that was twenty years ago.
I forget the original name of the family, but they are still around and involved in Atlantic City casinos, etc. The guy who had the wedding was actually given his mother's maiden name as his last name at birth due to the activities associated with the family.
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Did the marriage survive?
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I’ll be honest, I don’t get how a $50/person dinner is ostentatious. Like a real dinner with drinks and such, not a night at Applebee’s with a coupon.
My wife and I went out last week, our baby sitter is going back to college so we wanted our girls to see her again before she left so she came over and we ran some errands and then had a leisurely dinner at a sports bar (outdoor seating etc calm down Covid warriors) and watched the Mich-WI game.
We had some cheese curds ($12), a burger ($14), a chicken sandwich* ($15), and four craft beers 4x 7.50). With tax that’s about $80, and I tipped the guy $30 because he did a good job and there was no one there and it’s a local place we like. There’s your $50/person dinner. That’s not something we do every week or month but jeez. And to not be able to cover it while acting like a big shot? Christ.
*beer battered and covered with local cheese, it’s fantastic, don’t scoff at the price it’s worth it
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I’ll be honest, I don’t get how a $50/person dinner is ostentatious. Like a real dinner with drinks and such, not a night at Applebee’s with a coupon.
My wife and I went out last week, our baby sitter is going back to college so we wanted our girls to see her again before she left so she came over and we ran some errands and then had a leisurely dinner at a sports bar (outdoor seating etc calm down Covid warriors) and watched the Mich-WI game.
We had some cheese curds ($12), a burger ($14), a chicken sandwich* ($15), and four craft beers 4x 7.50). With tax that’s about $80, and I tipped the guy $30 because he did a good job and there was no one there and it’s a local place we like. There’s your $50/person dinner. That’s not something we do every week or month but jeez. And to not be able to cover it while acting like a big shot? Christ.
*beer battered and covered with local cheese, it’s fantastic, don’t scoff at the price it’s worth it
Even three years ago, dinner at $50 per head is easy to run up even before the tip.
Dining in the home, a $50 per head dinner is spectacular. For that price, a six-person meal at my place is seven courses, and I can do it in the proper Slavic fashion with three dishes per course and separate wines for the entree and main course. A lot depends on the ingredients selected and where you want to buy them. If you can find wine at a good price or make your own, and if you have reasonable cooking skills, a 10-course tasting menu is not out of the question. I try to keep the head count at six or fewer when I do that because I don't run out of dishes that way.
My next planned feast will cost about that amount per head. It will be for the people I'm bubbled with. I'm planning cocktails with caviar, a soup, an entree of some protein such as kielbasa with cabbage, a starch or pasta course, pickles, then roast goose with rice stuffing, applesauce, and two to three vegetable sides... followed by pie or cake for dessert. Very basic, not a lot of labor except for the preparation of the goose, but I want to show off my "new" (i.e. refinished by me) cabinets.
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FIL didn't expect to have to pay, but in the end he did. Hell, he extended the invite and chose the place.
This kind of stuff bugs me. If friends go out together, they can all pay for their own stuff, but when someone puts on a show of setting up an event, they should treat unless otherwise discussed. Apparently, when someone throws themselves a birthday outing, they expect to be treated.
Uh, what? You extended an invite to me. Also, you're 34, and it's not your wedding.
I first found out about this when I invited a bunch of people out for my birthday. I picked up a dozen tickets to a comedy show ($10 each) and paid the bar tab at the end of the show. My friend said it was really cool of me to do that - that people invite people out, then hit the head when the check arrives.
Not sure how you do that to your friends.
Alternatively, I went to a go-kart birthday party (very fun) and when it's over I find myself paying for part of it, then we're heading to an expensive restaurant. I had the cash on me, but, dude, a head's up?
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This reminds me of .........a good friend who was very wealthy...................he often " forgot his wallet!"
................I paid the bill and left a generous tip ......................my friend pocketed the tip I left!
What a motherfucking asshole.
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My friend said it was really cool of me to do that - that people invite people out, then hit the head when the check arrives.
Not sure how you do that to your friends.
It probably explains why people are so reluctant to accept invitations.
Back before COVID-19 when it was still possible to have places to go where group participation was an option, I found that people would hem, haw, and be very reluctant to try something they weren't certain they would like. Part of the reluctance was due to not wanting to pay for what might not be enjoyable. I found that if I said "my treat" and made it obvious I was paying (note this wasn't something I did often, usually just for special occasions) people were more likely to try something new, so I'd get a better response rate and less reluctance.
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OooooooOOOo can we complain about in-laws for a second?
My mother in law is the most jaw-droppingly naïve human I have ever met in my life. Classic "I think I earned my fathers money." She always talks about how she isn't going to work a day past 65 and how she made it without going to college and being a teen mom blah blah blah. So I asked her one day, how she had saved up so much money because they have all the things they have brand new Jeep, Truck, Snowmobile, several motorcycles and still retire "early". She told me they didn't have a dime saved, but were expecting her father to leave them a hearty sum and that is their retirement. I must have made a face because she quickly mentioned that SO had a fund set aside as well.
I know this makes me a bad person but I secretly hope her father donates everything to an animal rescue or something like that. The look on her face would bring me years and years of satisfaction.
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OooooooOOOo can we complain about in-laws for a second?
My mother in law is the most jaw-droppingly naïve human I have ever met in my life. Classic "I think I earned my fathers money." She always talks about how she isn't going to work a day past 65 and how she made it without going to college and being a teen mom blah blah blah. So I asked her one day, how she had saved up so much money because they have all the things they have brand new Jeep, Truck, Snowmobile, several motorcycles and still retire "early". She told me they didn't have a dime saved, but were expecting her father to leave them a hearty sum and that is their retirement. I must have made a face because she quickly mentioned that SO had a fund set aside as well.
I know this makes me a bad person but I secretly hope her father donates everything to an animal rescue or something like that. The look on her face would bring me years and years of satisfaction.
It is very natural to want someone to get their comeuppance when they are so entitled. This song by Paramore might be a fun one to listen to when thinking about your MIL - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFEmTsfFL5A
I wonder if grandpa told his kids "I have a lot of money, and it's enough for you to retire." But if that's the case, is he giving yearly gifts to his kids? Or is she just saying to herself he has a house and goes on vacation, so he's clearly very rich. I've seen that with some people.
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That's a big load of trust she is putting in a person - albeit a parent. Maybe she hasn't heard the kind of stories shared here in the MMM forums.
She might have a confusing moment when her daydream collapses and there isn't an inheritance or its $5K rather than $500K.
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I’d love an update. Did they end up together? We’re there more run ins with the in laws?
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That's a big load of trust she is putting in a person - albeit a parent. Maybe she hasn't heard the kind of stories shared here in the MMM forums.
She might have a confusing moment when her daydream collapses and there isn't an inheritance or its $5K rather than $500K.
Also, if you're a spender, $500k can be gone really quickly. The cost of a Range Rover is $92,000, and we have to remember that there's 2 drivers in the home. Probably around the time they get solar panels installed on the way home from a trip to Europe, it might be time to start figuring just how well you live on Social Security.
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Oh man, I miss paddedhat on here. Hope he’s doing ok.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Well, I hope so. But it's probably unrealistic to expect him back given what happened.
What happened?
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Oh man, I miss paddedhat on here. Hope he’s doing ok.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Well, I hope so. But it's probably unrealistic to expect him back given what happened.
What happened?
He was a valuable contributor to the forum, which meant that he sometimes dealt out criticism while using adult language. The board went through a phase where people from certain groups were exempt from criticism or mockery despite being empowered to deal it out. There was one piling-on incident too many, and he did what most contributors to the board did. They either go silent (like me), or they leave completely. It's why there really aren't many new threads anymore. The people providing content have been successfully hectored into silence, which has essentially turned the forum into an echo chamber.
There's very little variety left here in terms of people's backgrounds or approach to frugality.
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Oh man, I miss paddedhat on here. Hope he’s doing ok.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Well, I hope so. But it's probably unrealistic to expect him back given what happened.
What happened?
Nothing exciting. Paddedhat was an absurdly hostile and disgusting poster who was needlessly aggressive to other forum members. For evidence you can see these threads:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/biking-is-dangerous/msg1788439/#msg1788439
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/gets-1-3-million-for-inherited-blanket/msg1784059/#msg1784059
You can go through his posts and make your own decisions. The mods told him to shut up once or twice, and shut down a thread he participated in. He disappeared not long after.
The idea that he was run off because of his language is ludicrous. Nobody piled on him, and there was never a forum-wide phase where certain animals were more equal than others. There are plenty of new threads, and any discussion reveals a variety of different viewpoints.
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So we'll invite them over for dinner sometimes and I'll cook something I'd consider a bit nicer - fresh bruschetta from homegrown ingredients to start and blue mussels with white wine sauce over linguine last night for example - and I can tell FIL is not a huge fan:) MIL loves my cooking though and since it was mother's day that's what counted.
I'll make chilli topped with pre-grated bagged cheddar for dad in law next time:)
To be honest, the only thing in that meal that I would want to eat is the bread (which sounds good). I don't like gourmet food in general, and if he's the same way then of course he's not going to appreciate that meal.
I agree, he might be blown away if you serve well prepared freshly made simple food. Homemade chilli with freshly grated extra-sharp cheddar sounds more appealing to me than the pasta dish you served (I'll still take your bruschetta though).
For the record, we're not some fancypants people who eat escargot all the time. My point got lost in the relative fanciness of our mother's day dinner (both my wife and MIL loved it though, and it was meant for them). We make plenty of simple "meat and potatoes" dinners at home. What I'm saying is that if I want to pay someone for cooking me steak, I won't go to Applebees to have one reheated for me. My in-laws will, though. And think it's a good deal because it was 12.99/person. Basically, no risk of crazy restaurant bills having to be split with them. However, I still don't like going out to eat with them because we'll end up at a crappy place where I don't value the food even if it ends up costing $10/person because I know that we can do MUCH better at home both in terms of quality and cost/plate. Unfortunately, FIL does not express much appreciation for food prepared at home...for whatever reason. MIL makes up for it though with public gratitude on facebook and the like.
Ugh, my in-laws are like that. We took them to one of our favorite (pricey) restaurants, and made it clear we were treating them. They couldn't even enjoy it because of how much it cost. Sat there looking uncomfortable and trying to find the cheapest thing on the menu. And yet they go to places like Bob Evans or Applebees all the time. I thought they'd appreciate a treat since they never go out to a nice restaurant. We won't make that mistake again with people who can't appreciate it.
I'm like this. I also appreciate the food I make more when it's cheap, so maybe cheapness is a really good seasoning or something. (Pre-pandemic, I liked restaurants that weren't chains but also weren't much more expensive than Ruby Tuesday and such. My husband and I are completely out of the habit of eating out now, which is great.)