Author Topic: Family Member Fails  (Read 33121 times)

BlueHouse

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Re: Family Member Fails
« Reply #150 on: September 24, 2019, 01:55:03 PM »
My niece's plan to pay off her student loans is to marry a rich man. 
She honestly sees no other way out of it.  I am so pissed at my brother for treating her mother like a dummy so that his daughter (my niece) would hope for some fairytale hero to rescue her rather than just studying hard enough to earn enough money herself.  I totally blame my brother. 


SwordGuy

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Re: Family Member Fails
« Reply #151 on: September 24, 2019, 03:36:09 PM »
My niece's plan to pay off her student loans is to marry a rich man. 
She honestly sees no other way out of it.  I am so pissed at my brother for treating her mother like a dummy so that his daughter (my niece) would hope for some fairytale hero to rescue her rather than just studying hard enough to earn enough money herself.  I totally blame my brother.

Not always the parent's fault.   I know of one family that has 2 brothers and 2 sisters.   3 of the 4 worked hard for what they wanted and pretty much made that happen over their lifetimes.  The 4th was a worthless shit early on and doubled down on manipulating others into providing for her.

So be sure before you blame your brother.

saguaro

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Re: Family Member Fails
« Reply #152 on: September 25, 2019, 08:43:39 AM »
My niece's plan to pay off her student loans is to marry a rich man. 
She honestly sees no other way out of it.  I am so pissed at my brother for treating her mother like a dummy so that his daughter (my niece) would hope for some fairytale hero to rescue her rather than just studying hard enough to earn enough money herself.  I totally blame my brother.

Not always the parent's fault.   I know of one family that has 2 brothers and 2 sisters.   3 of the 4 worked hard for what they wanted and pretty much made that happen over their lifetimes.  The 4th was a worthless shit early on and doubled down on manipulating others into providing for her.

So be sure before you blame your brother.

Agree it's not always parent's fault although I see why @BlueHouse  would feel that way, given the brother's treatment of his wife and how that could affect the daughter.   I know of a similar situation where the daughter was focused on finding someone rich enough to provide for her, she was not encouraged to work hard or further her education, both her mother and grandmother were like this, so it's obvious where that come from.   And yet in that same family, including this daughter's brother, were people who worked hard for what they wanted in life.  It is an interesting mix of hard working people and moochers, sometimes with both types coming from the same set of parents. 
« Last Edit: September 25, 2019, 09:46:51 AM by saguaro »

Imma

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Re: Family Member Fails
« Reply #153 on: October 06, 2019, 02:34:08 PM »
I came into a family when my mother remarried. My sibs and I were 26, 20, and 18.

We will inherit our stepfathers assets. I mean, he has been our family for almost 30 years. He is the only grandparent my kids have on my side. My mother died years ago.

It's great that you have a bond with your stepfather even though you were all adults when he remarried, such a good bond that he's even a grandfather to your children.

Most people I know don't have a bond at all with the spouse their parent married when they were adults. In that case I don't think it would be strange to not leave them anything in a will. I know my partner and I don't have that with our parents's spouses and beyond sending christmas cards and visiting maybe once a year if we're in the area I can't imagine we'd keep in touch after our parent dies. Of course it's different for stepparents who helped raised you or you were very close to, or who have even adopted you, but that's a different situation. Still you should treat stepchildren and stepgrandchildren equally when it comes to christmas, birthdays etc even if there's not much of a bond.

I had never thought before about the possiblity that my parent would leave anything to his spouse's adult children, but if it turns out that they did, I would feel a little bit slighted (although honestly I'm pretty sure I've been disinherited either way, which would legally only give me a claim to a small part of the money, not to any physical items). I wouldn't mind if they were left money,or even all the money, but I would care about heirlooms and items of sentimental value, especially items that came from my family of origin or relatives that were dead 20 years before he even met his spouse. I know some of our family photos have already ended up with non-family and somehow that feels not only unfair but also as a breach of my privacy.

trashtalk

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Re: Family Member Fails
« Reply #154 on: October 14, 2019, 12:20:26 PM »
Relative told me he was a genius because he saw the 2008 stock market collapse coming because something something housing indicator so he sold 100 percent of his mutual funds/stocks and *got out just in time* while all those other suckers [...lost their money??!!]

I just looked it up and as of March 2019, "The index has delivered a 10-year annualized total return of 17.8 percent since its financial crisis bottom in March 2009, matching the annual gains 10 years after the 1987 crash and the August 1982 bottom." (https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2019/03/04/the-10th-anniversary-of-the-climactic-march-2009-market-bottom-arrives-this-week.html)

He's in annuities now. I think he said he's getting four percent?

Now this relative is financially independent and the whole thing is none of my business but he was bragging about how smart he was and just had to kind of bite my tongue.

(As Dave Ramsey says the only time a roller coaster kills you is when you jump off.)