Author Topic: Eyelash perm? WTF  (Read 6765 times)

TheGrimSqueaker

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Eyelash perm? WTF
« on: March 27, 2017, 04:44:41 PM »
My teenaged daughter appears to have fallen in with a clique of young women who specialize in finding stupid things to do with money. If she's not hanging out with the various lampreys and leeches that swim among her bio-family, she's trying to pull a big-hat-no-cattle act. It's because she spent so much of her early life in the entitlement class; her taste consumption-wise is far ahead of her productivity level. So far she's not aware of how ridiculous she looks, and she can't fathom why I laugh my head off at stupid financial things, such as the unsolicited flyer suggesting I trade the Toaster, barely broken in with 95,000 miles on it, toward some ridiculous vehicle valued at $40,000+.

She's going through a bit of a phase where she's living the stereotype with regard to being excessively American, excessively female, and excessively teenager. As part of the combined stereotype, she's constantly got her hand out wheedling for money for some new random luxury. Occasionally she'll even get off her ass and do chores in exchange for money. That's when I know she really means what's coming out of her mouth and it's not just one more ploy to gouge something out of me in order to treat someone else.

Anyway, most of the girls in this clique have jobs and therefore earn incomes. Most of them accordingly pay at least some of their own expenses, particularly in the nice-to-have department. Yet the trend is to find even more idiotic and overpriced beauty treatments. Here's the latest voyage to Stupidville: eyelash perms.

http://www.today.com/style/eyelash-perms-bigger-brighter-eyes-no-makeup-required-t74201


That's right: caustic chemicals up close and personal, right next to the eyes, for $50 per treatment and worst of all this is supposed to be a tipping situation. This is a new low in the beauty industry, which specializes in selling expensive glop to correct problems caused by other expensive glop, in order to make the wearer feel less inadequate.

"But it lasts three months!" My daughter tried to justify her desire for this treatment.

"The blindness? I'd think it would last longer than that."

"No, the curl. I wouldn't have to use mascara or an eyelash curler." She hates the angle of her eyelashes.

"How much time does it take you to curl your eyelashes each day? A minute or so?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Because if it lasts three months you're saving yourself maybe an hour and a half of time if you spend one minute a day dicking with your eyelashes. If you spend two minutes a day, it's maybe three hours you save. But you want to spend the better part of an hour in a salon, drive half an hour to the mall and half an hour back burning a full gallon of gas, and that saves you... what, maybe an hour total?"

"Yeah."

"So to save one hour you're willing to spend fifty bucks, plus gas, plus tax, plus tip. Is there anything that you're qualified to do that's worth sixty dollars in an hour? Dispense prescriptions, design a nuclear weapon, fix a computer virus, anything?"

"Well--"

"I should say, any LEGAL way to earn--"

"No."

"Which, coincidentally, is also my answer to the question about whether I'll give you money to have your lashes permed."

She hates me. She really, truly, honestly does.

ysette9

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2017, 04:59:04 PM »
I'mcurious: are you make or female? There are plenty of seemingly frivolous beauty things that women might spend money on. Some might be a waste of time bad money, others less so, depending on the person. It comes down to values.

I'm not defending your daughter and her choices, but I have a bit of emphathy. My lashes are long and curl upwards but my husband's (different race) are short and point directly down. He is a man so he doesn't care, but if I had his lashes I am sure I would be spending money to change their look because that is what society says is beautiful in women. It is especially hard to fight that as an impressionable teenager. I sometimes get my blonde lanes dyed so they show up because that makes me feel good. Yes, I can achieve most of the same effect through mascara, but I like feeling normal-looking out of bed or on my run. Go ahead and mock: I am comfortable with my decision.

Again, I am not defending your daughter's choices. Her chore money could be put to much better use. I'm just providing a contrasting perspective.

TrMama

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2017, 05:14:33 PM »
She hates me. She really, truly, honestly does.

This is how you know you're parenting right.

As for the mocking, sometimes it's a super effective way to point out the idiocy in most marketing. I still remember the day teenage me came across a listing in the Sears catalog for an expensive epilator. I thought it was the coolest gizmo ever! Removes leg hair painlessly! Lasts for months! I excitedly told my dad about it and said "we" should get one.

He put on the most hilarious show that pointed out there is actually no way to rip your hair out by the roots painlessly. Remembering his performance still makes me laugh.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2017, 05:19:15 PM »
I'mcurious: are you make or female? There are plenty of seemingly frivolous beauty things that women might spend money on. Some might be a waste of time bad money, others less so, depending on the person. It comes down to values.

I'm not defending your daughter and her choices, but I have a bit of emphathy. My lashes are long and curl upwards but my husband's (different race) are short and point directly down. He is a man so he doesn't care, but if I had his lashes I am sure I would be spending money to change their look because that is what society says is beautiful in women. It is especially hard to fight that as an impressionable teenager. I sometimes get my blonde lanes dyed so they show up because that makes me feel good. Yes, I can achieve most of the same effect through mascara, but I like feeling normal-looking out of bed or on my run. Go ahead and mock: I am comfortable with my decision.

Again, I am not defending your daughter's choices. Her chore money could be put to much better use. I'm just providing a contrasting perspective.

It turned out that my daughter was not in fact willing to actually work for the money required for this particular luxury.

As to the gender I really don't think of myself as having one. People generally interact with me as though I'm male. The body I occupy unfortunately looks female from the skull out, which can be awkward until other people get used to it, particularly since it makes it harder to condition for the activities I find truly interesting or satisfying. Equating packaging to identity has always seemed stupid to me-- we don't expect Toyota drivers to be fluent in Japanese-- but for whatever reason large numbers of people buy into it and like it.

Frankies Girl

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2017, 07:05:55 PM »
I can't even imagine paying to let them put nasty smelling chemicals practically IN my eyes... especially when I have this amazing tool that cost me like $4 that crimps my lashes in like two seconds if I'm so inclined to worry over the curl of my eyelashes. Which I don't. Hell, eyelashes grow out in about a month to 6 weeks, so her saying it lasts for months is bullshit. Honey, your own eyelashes don't even stay in your head that long... unless she means the ones that fall out will still have amazing curl, huh? Sweeet.


I remember being a teenager. I stopped receiving an allowance at like 10, so I started babysitting to earn spending money, and then got a "real" job at 15 so I could afford the stupid things I knew my parents would consider stupid. I also remember the turning point of realizing that I was making like $5/hour and some of that dumb stuff I lusted after REALLY WAS STUPID and saving up my money for things I valued more was much smarter than blowing it on random shit. Getting a job as a teen and having to prioritize my spending helped me learn the importance of time spent working and the value of money.

So in summary: hooray for your parenting skills. :)
« Last Edit: March 27, 2017, 08:00:30 PM by Frankies Girl »

tralfamadorian

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2017, 07:48:19 PM »
Just wait- she'll ask to have her eyebrows microbladed next. 

Just Joe

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2017, 08:04:20 AM »
I had to look that one up. Good grief - what women do to themselves.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microblading

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2017, 08:59:35 AM »
I had to look that one up. Good grief - what women do to themselves.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microblading

As a group, the female half of the human species contains enough stupid people to make it worthwhile to develop and market techniques like these.

It's marketing. "Find a need and fill it" becomes "Manufacture a need and fill it". Manufactured "needs" are a trend in the medical, housing, auto, and consumer electronics industries as well.

onehair

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2017, 09:31:28 AM »
Eyelash perm? And here I thought gluing on false lashes was torture enough....No thanks...
I have never glued on false for the record being content with trying to use mascara to enhance the little bit I got from the genetic crapshoot.

Khaetra

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2017, 12:01:38 PM »
Yikes!  Oh no way would I let someone who isn't an actual eye doc near my eyes, especially with that stuff.  I kind of like seeing things and it would royally suck if I went blind in the "name of beauty". 

And welcome to the 'My Kid Hates Me' club, I've been a member for years :).

fredbear

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2017, 09:05:23 PM »
...As part of the combined stereotype, she's constantly got her hand out wheedling for money for some new random luxury. Occasionally she'll even get off her ass and do chores in exchange for money.

This is why I kept up allowances through high school.  I could - and did - always say "yes." 

"Daddy, I need to get the eyelash perminasticator, OK?"

"Honey, of course.  You can get anything you want, anything!"

"Uh, well, I thought you could buy it."

"Me!  Well, no!  I'm not spending my money on that shit.  But you, you can spend your money on Anything You Want. I spend my money on what I want, and you spend your money on what you want.  Now let's calculate how many allowances you'll need to give up to pay for it."  (We had a debt board starting when each kid turned 5, and they were welcome to assume reasonable levels of debt, but had to make weekly payments.  Incidentally this meant that after one extravaganza per kid, when they went into debt for a box of the sugar-crusted, agave-dipped, oven-toasted Cinna-Chocolatasms, I never had to deal with any food tantrums while grocery shopping.)

I can recommend this technique for several reasons, but being able to assent to every request is powerful, and the mental math to determine the debtor period is good practice too.


pbkmaine

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2017, 09:22:32 PM »
...As part of the combined stereotype, she's constantly got her hand out wheedling for money for some new random luxury. Occasionally she'll even get off her ass and do chores in exchange for money.

This is why I kept up allowances through high school.  I could - and did - always say "yes." 

"Daddy, I need to get the eyelash perminasticator, OK?"

"Honey, of course.  You can get anything you want, anything!"

"Uh, well, I thought you could buy it."

"Me!  Well, no!  I'm not spending my money on that shit.  But you, you can spend your money on Anything You Want. I spend my money on what I want, and you spend your money on what you want.  Now let's calculate how many allowances you'll need to give up to pay for it."  (We had a debt board starting when each kid turned 5, and they were welcome to assume reasonable levels of debt, but had to make weekly payments.  Incidentally this meant that after one extravaganza per kid, when they went into debt for a box of the sugar-crusted, agave-dipped, oven-toasted Cinna-Chocolatasms, I never had to deal with any food tantrums while grocery shopping.)

I can recommend this technique for several reasons, but being able to assent to every request is powerful, and the mental math to determine the debtor period is good practice too.

Yep. Very similar to what we did with DH's 3 daughters. Worked like a charm, and they are all pretty good with money today.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2017, 10:18:09 PM »
This thread made me go into the bathroom to look at my eyelashes in the mirror, because I've never really thought about them except if one of them got in my eye. I can now confirm that they are barely visible. Hooray.

KMMK

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2017, 08:26:26 AM »
This thread made me go into the bathroom to look at my eyelashes in the mirror, because I've never really thought about them except if one of them got in my eye. I can now confirm that they are barely visible. Hooray.

You have motivated me to also look at my eyelashes. It's amazing I've made it this far in life without ever fiddling with my eyebrows or eyelashes. Though I have worn glasses for 30 years - maybe that helps?

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2017, 08:36:43 AM »
...As part of the combined stereotype, she's constantly got her hand out wheedling for money for some new random luxury. Occasionally she'll even get off her ass and do chores in exchange for money.

This is why I kept up allowances through high school.  I could - and did - always say "yes." 

That's exactly why I do it:

"Use your allowance."

"I already spent it on <insert random frippery here>."

"That's nice."

"Well, could you buy it for me?"

"No."

I set the allowance high enough so that she could afford to, say, pay someone else to torment her eyebrows (because tweezers are too complicated) and keep herself in the kind of odd-looking professional "gel" manicures made popular by those Kardashian creatures... if she is willing to use Wal-Mart makeup and forego junk food, restaurant trips with friends, movies, barista coffee and other entertainments she's convinced "everybody" does "all the time".

Brainpower-wise, my kid's from the left side of the bell curve. It hasn't yet occurred to her that seven different people indulging in one luxury per week isn't the same thing as one person going around having a luxury every day. Just because her friends A and B are going to the mall Friday night so that A can buy boutique makeup and B can get Boba Tea and boutique undies from Victoria's Secret, "C" is going to a movie Saturday, and "D" is getting her nails done Sunday, she doesn't understand why she shouldn't be able to afford the makeup, the undies, the movie, AND the nails in just an average weekend. No amount of explaining has made her understand that one person's spending is different from four people's spending. She truly doesn't understand why I can't afford to feed her exclusively from restaurants and why we need to cook at home and pack our lunches, because when she looks into restaurants and sees them full of people she gets the idea it's an affordable thing to do every day.

ysette9

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #15 on: March 29, 2017, 10:13:43 AM »
Quote
As to the gender I really don't think of myself as having one. People generally interact with me as though I'm male. The body I occupy unfortunately looks female from the skull out

Fair enough. I think my point was that unless you identify as full-on girly on the female spectrum, I can see how it would be a mental stretch to understand why something like an eyelash perm would be attractive to a teenager.

Since teenagers are known for being rebellious and hard-headed, I wonder if your position of "that is ridiculous and let me spell it out why" could backfire? I thought my parents were pretty good about being there and being supportive, but not expressing their own opinions on non-critical things unless I asked for advice. That made me much more likely to open up to them and listen the few times they did sit me down and advise against something. For example, they never commented on the boys in high school I quasi-dated though in retrospect it is easy for me to appreciate that they must have been rolling their eyes in private. Hell, I roll my eyes at my younger self now, but speaking to me in the moment probably would have had no positive effect.

I like what others say about letting her do what she wants (within reason) with her own money. She wants an eyelash perm? Go out and earn the money to pay for it. Personally I would draw the line at things that are actually dangerous, like tanning beds. Getting my first W-2 job at a retailer and having to pay for my own things like lunches out with friends and gas was a fabulous lesson in how frickin' hard it is to work at a low-wage job and how quickly that money can disappear if you aren't really careful. I carry an extra layer of appreciate of my current desk-jockey professional career because of that experience.

MountainFlower

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2017, 12:10:35 PM »
I have blonde eyelashes and I used to get them tinted with a standing appointment every 3 weeks....and then kids came!  I loved having tinted eyelashes, but alas, it was probably horrible for me.  Haven't done it in 10 years. I have to wonder if they offered eye lash perms along with the tinting if I would have done it!  I'll never know. 

I've never had a manicure or a pedicure at 49 years old, so I'm not one to go in for this sort of thing typically...but the blonde lashes...I hate them.

ysette9

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2017, 12:47:47 PM »
I do love a good eyelash tint. I'm in the same boat with you with the blonde eyelashes. :)

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2017, 02:23:53 PM »
Since teenagers are known for being rebellious and hard-headed, I wonder if your position of "that is ridiculous and let me spell it out why" could backfire?

Possibly, however she tends to interpret anything less as positive endorsement of an idea.

ysette9

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2017, 02:31:32 PM »
How funny. It just goes to show how individual everyone is, no matter what age.

SpeedReader

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2017, 09:26:38 PM »
I read the whole thread but my brain is still stuck on "Eyelash perm??!!  WTF?!!" 

RetiredAt63

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2017, 09:30:40 AM »
I read the whole thread but my brain is still stuck on "Eyelash perm??!!  WTF?!!"
Exactly.  This is why mascara was invented.  I have invisible eyelashes, mascara is my only makeup.  If I am feeling really energetic/ambitious I might use a bit of eyebrow pencil as well.

honeybbq

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2017, 10:58:51 AM »
I had to look that one up. Good grief - what women do to themselves.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microblading

I'm going to pipe up here. People look strange without eyebrows. So filling them in so they look quasi-normal isn't so strange. Not that I condone this particular method of filling in one's brows... but as a dark haired woman with virtually no eyebrows (my mother didn't have them either, it must be genetic) you can be certain I do SOMETHING about it. Now, people that yank out all their own eyebrows and get fake ones drawn on.... ugh.

Just Joe

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #23 on: April 12, 2017, 07:21:26 AM »
I had to look that one up. Good grief - what women do to themselves.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microblading

I'm going to pipe up here. People look strange without eyebrows. So filling them in so they look quasi-normal isn't so strange. Not that I condone this particular method of filling in one's brows... but as a dark haired woman with virtually no eyebrows (my mother didn't have them either, it must be genetic) you can be certain I do SOMETHING about it. Now, people that yank out all their own eyebrows and get fake ones drawn on.... ugh.

That last sentence. I recognize some people need or want the help. Then there are the people who don't need the help but consume vast amounts of time and money doing it anyhow. I guess it isn't any different from any other hobby. Shiny paint job for that favorite car. Nicer house. Live and let live. Just don't go broke.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #24 on: April 30, 2017, 12:13:25 AM »
It gets worse.

http://www.marieclaire.com/beauty/news/a26473/feather-brows/

Glue sticks, folks. Fucking GLUE STICKS. For that nice feather or barbed wire look, and apparently people pay money to have this done. It's not just women, either.

Although the so-called "fairer sex" is targeted with a disproportionate amount of merchandising bullshit by the cosmetics industry (generally phrased in baby talk since they think people with two X chromosomes are too stupid to comprehend written English), the link contained an ad with evidence that people with a Y chromosome are in fact sculpting their eyebrows into stylized concertina-wire shapes.

Having gotten concertina wire stuck in my hair in the past-- should have been wearing a hard hat or a helmet, it was my own stupid fault-- I can attest to its keratin-sculpting powers. Perhaps that's the next trend. The advantage: the changes can easily be permanent, and it's cheaper than a tattoo artist.

Just Joe

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #25 on: April 30, 2017, 09:53:22 AM »
I thought plucking was still a thing and woolly eyebrows were bad. Dammit the yardstick moved again.... (Not that I really care, I'm male with wooly eyebrows).
« Last Edit: May 01, 2017, 08:40:20 AM by Tasty Pinecones »

MrsPete

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #26 on: April 30, 2017, 05:06:55 PM »
with regard to being excessively American, excessively female, and excessively teenager.
This is a very descriptive phrase! 

Her chore money could be put to much better use.
Of course you and I think so -- we're adults, and we stop to consider that buying something for X amount of money means working Y number of hours (or, if you're already retired, using Y amount of resources).  But we consider this expenditure trivial and foolish only because of maturity. 

The OP's daughter "isn't there yet", and she needs to make some financial mistakes along the way, needs to make some bad purchases and see that her hard-earned money was squandered.  It's one of those things that is easier to learn from experience than through lecture. 

Having said that, I might just refuse to allow my daughter to have an eyelash perm because of the chemicals-near-the-eye thing.

I remember being a teenager. I stopped receiving an allowance at like 10, so I started babysitting to earn spending money, and then got a "real" job at 15 so I could afford the stupid things I knew my parents would consider stupid. I also remember the turning point of realizing that I was making like $5/hour and some of that dumb stuff I lusted after REALLY WAS STUPID and saving up my money for things I valued more was much smarter than blowing it on random shit. Getting a job as a teen and having to prioritize my spending helped me learn the importance of time spent working and the value of money.
Yeah, we used a similar concept with our kids.  I started giving them allowances for specific things:  Back to school supplies, toiletries, clothing.  Sometimes if they wanted something expensive, I'd agree to pay X amount ... the amount that would pay for a basic version of the item ... and if they wanted the fancier version, they could pay the difference.  When they did work /pay the difference, OFTEN they were disappointed in the purchase and realized that it wasn't worth the effort. 

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #27 on: April 30, 2017, 10:54:28 PM »
Update: my daughter saved up the money to get the eyelash perm done, and the chemicals singed the lashes and caused about half of them to fall off within a couple weeks. Where she used to have thick, beautiful downward-turning lashes it's now a miniscule line of hairs going in random directions. She's now spending money on fake eyelashes until her real ones grow back in.

At the salon, they apologized for baking her lashes and blamed the problem on "a bad batch" of chemicals. Apparently a whole bunch of people complained. To make it up to her, they did not give her the money back, but they promised to re-do her lashes once they grow in a couple months from now.

Because it's my sweet daughter, she agreed to this. Now here's where the different sides of the bell curve, or perhaps the different levels of maturity, come into play. No way in heck would I let these imbeciles anywhere near any part of my body with their random chemical cocktails. It just seems like a Very Bad Idea.

cloudsail

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #28 on: April 30, 2017, 11:54:18 PM »
My cousin actually had this done before, with less disastrous results than your daughter. But she was in China where it cost a lot less than $50. Still, the risk......

There's also eyelash extensions, which I considered when I was a teenager but never did.

My mom and aunts have done the tattooing eyebrows thing, as they have very thin eyebrows. It doesn't seem any different from getting a tattoo.

Permanent eyeliner though.... tattooing that close to your eye seems more than a little scary.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2017, 11:55:49 PM by cloudsail »

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #29 on: May 02, 2017, 03:58:40 PM »
I had eyeliner tattooed on and I love it.  I will get a touch up when this fades.  It's the best thing ever. 

After 10 years of looking at my tattooed eyeliner, my 74-year old mother (who is not fancy in the least and never had a manicure or pedicure in her life) decided she wanted to have her eyebrows done.  So she got them micro bladed (tattooed).  They look fantastic.   I was just out in the sun with her this weekend and commented on how great they look.  The right color choice is imperative!  I've seen people with too-dark eyebrow tattoos and it looks horrible.   

Tattoo artist did offer to give my eyelash perm but I couldn't deal with chemicals that close to my eye....despite just having had a needle with ink even closer!

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Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #30 on: May 02, 2017, 04:28:48 PM »
Tattoo artist did offer to give my eyelash perm but I couldn't deal with chemicals that close to my eye....despite just having had a needle with ink even closer!
Needles don't splash or spill.

SpeedReader

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  • Age: 53
  • Location: Lynnwood, WA
Re: Eyelash perm? WTF
« Reply #31 on: May 03, 2017, 09:52:20 PM »
When I was a teenager and young adult, I wore makeup and did at least some of the girly stuff.  Now I limit makeup to professional occasions like conferences, etc.  On my own time I refuse.  My response to others who think I should make more of an effort:  "This is the face God gave me.  You don't like it, take it up with Him."