Author Topic: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?  (Read 16110 times)

Free Spirit

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Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« on: July 11, 2019, 08:50:19 AM »
Seriously, why? Years ago these were a relatively niche beauty treatment and you very rarely saw them in real life. I can now count 7 (SEVEN) of my immediate coworkers who have these eyelashes! I don't understand this trend. You pay 200+ for the initial application and then you have to go back every 3 weeks and pay another $75+ for a refill. Oops, you waited a whole month? Full price again! What the hell? I've looked at the pricing for this treatment in my area and one specialty application is $450! This is for something that doesn't even last a whole month! On top of that, it takes like 2 freakin' hours to get them done, and you have to go way out of your way to maintain them. I just read this article and I'm horrified. Relearn to wash my face? Uhh, no. Stay away from oil? Does nobody else have oily eyelids? How do these even last a full 3 weeks? I thought fake nails were ridiculous but this takes the cake. WTF are we doing to ourselves?

Just Joe

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2019, 08:54:10 AM »
Regularly applying glue to skin next to one's eyes seems like a great idea.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2019, 12:39:25 PM »
There's such a thing as an eyelash perm. My daughter paid through the nose to have one done, and her eyelashes burned and mostly fell off. They refused to give her a refund and offered her a free second service once the eyelashes grew back in. In a moment of glorious independent thought, she asked them why in the world she should let them anywhere near her eyes with perm chemicals again. She wised up after that, at least with regard to fake eyelashes.

SunnyDays

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2019, 01:52:18 PM »
Yeah, but think of the time you save not having to put mascara on every day!  And then take it off too!  (Sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.)

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2019, 02:08:20 PM »
This is an example of something I would never, ever do, even if I had all the money in the world and couldnít hope to spend it all. I canít imagine taking time out of my day EVERY FREAKING THREE WEEKS to sit in a chair for two hours barely moving, making intermittent small talk with a stranger. Good lord, if there is a hell, certainly this will be one of the levels.

six-car-habit

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2019, 03:23:45 PM »
 Once upon a time, a girl and i were sitting in the backseat of my friends car talking [ with other people up front] - she said she had something caught in her eyelashes, and could i take a closer look at what it might be ?
  When i did - she pulled me in for a kiss ! !

  I suppose even Longer eyelashes could get More things stuck in them...leading to more such scenarios ?

  Then again we were young , her eyelashes were natural, so no $$ was expended on this ruse...

Just Joe

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2019, 01:48:28 PM »
I don't think my vision is good enough to tell a difference... (eyelashes = wasted effort)
« Last Edit: July 16, 2019, 08:04:02 AM by Just Joe »

pachnik

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2019, 02:56:52 PM »
I see a fair amount of pretty unsubtle sets of fake eyelashes.   They look just too fake for me.  Not that I'd be interested.  Just wouldn't want someone fooling around with glue or perm solution near my eyes. 

dmmms

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2019, 03:05:32 PM »
I'm convinced we're living in the capital (Hunger Games reference) these days!

Khaetra

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2019, 09:05:45 AM »
Yeah, no thanks.  It's one of those things I just don't get, why would you want someone near your eyes with glue or whatever they use to put them on?  I'll just keep my sparse lashes sparse :).

RetiredAt63

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2019, 04:54:02 AM »
Yeah, no thanks.  It's one of those things I just don't get, why would you want someone near your eyes with glue or whatever they use to put them on?  I'll just keep my sparse lashes sparse :).

Seriously, that is what mascara is for if I want a bit more eyelash visibility - not glue near my eyes.

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2019, 06:26:33 AM »
Yep, I used to do this.
As a recovered glamazon, I used to do A LOT of stupid, expensive shit for the sake of over the top vanity, and this was before Instagram was even a thing.

It's crazy expensive, it takes fucking forever every few weeks, and for a side sleeper like me, they always wore off asymmetrically.

It was ridiculous, it really was.
I had them for nearly a year before I got too fed up with lying there with my eyes closed for 2 hours at a time while someone gently poked me in the eyes over and over.

I didn't stop doing it because I had common sense, I stopped doing it because I get extremely restless if I do nothing for too long. I dreaded my appointments, so eventually I stopped booking them.

It's crazy what feels "worth it" when you are sucked into the world of vanity-for-a-price. Ugh, this shit used to feel so goddamn important at the time.

That said, I would go back to stupid expensive eyelash extensions any day over going back to wearing high heels every time I left the house. I'm a dedicated running shoes + orthotics kind of gal now, and on the rare occasions that I wear stilletos, I marvel at the grotesque pain I was willing to put myself through.

I marvel at how the hell I ever got that way in the first place.

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2019, 07:00:47 AM »
Yep, I used to do this.
As a recovered glamazon, I used to do A LOT of stupid, expensive shit for the sake of over the top vanity, and this was before Instagram was even a thing.

It's crazy expensive, it takes fucking forever every few weeks, and for a side sleeper like me, they always wore off asymmetrically.

It was ridiculous, it really was.
I had them for nearly a year before I got too fed up with lying there with my eyes closed for 2 hours at a time while someone gently poked me in the eyes over and over.

I didn't stop doing it because I had common sense, I stopped doing it because I get extremely restless if I do nothing for too long. I dreaded my appointments, so eventually I stopped booking them.

It's crazy what feels "worth it" when you are sucked into the world of vanity-for-a-price. Ugh, this shit used to feel so goddamn important at the time.

That said, I would go back to stupid expensive eyelash extensions any day over going back to wearing high heels every time I left the house. I'm a dedicated running shoes + orthotics kind of gal now, and on the rare occasions that I wear stilletos, I marvel at the grotesque pain I was willing to put myself through.

I marvel at how the hell I ever got that way in the first place.

It fascinates me that you used to do this stuff, @Malkynn . It doesnít seem like you at all!

What happened to make you fall off the glamazon wagon in general?

Off the Wheel

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2019, 08:46:27 AM »
I work in fashion (it's a low key, athletics-oriented brand BUT STILL) and oh my LORD the things people spend money on. As an older and wiser department head, I TRY to talk to them about investments and FIRE or even just the concept of 'saving  for the future' but instead the eyelashes get push on, the nails get done, and the $50 SoulCycle classes get taken. I also just had the horrible discovery that apparently Botox is covered by our extended benefits (under 'naturopath').

I cringe for the days when they realize they can't fight aging no matter how much they spend.


Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2019, 06:28:41 PM »
It fascinates me that you used to do this stuff, @Malkynn . It doesnít seem like you at all!

What happened to make you fall off the glamazon wagon in general?

Oh, I still rock the shit out of a ball gown and 5 inch heels at least a half dozen times a year, but 99% of the time I'm in all black athletic gear.

What changed? It took getting a doctorate to finally feel like I had some value to society beyond my appearance.
It's sad, but it's how I felt.

Oh...and I have a very very beautiful mother that I tried to live up to.

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2019, 06:33:09 PM »
It fascinates me that you used to do this stuff, @Malkynn . It doesnít seem like you at all!

What happened to make you fall off the glamazon wagon in general?

Oh, I still rock the shit out of a ball gown and 5 inch heels at least a half dozen times a year, but 99% of the time I'm in all black athletic gear.

What changed? It took getting a doctorate to finally feel like I had some value to society beyond my appearance.
It's sad, but it's how I felt.

Oh...and I have a very very beautiful mother that I tried to live up to.

Oh, yeah. That all makes sense.

My mom was prettier than me, too. But thankfully, she put a premium on intelligence, so being ďthe smart oneĒ was an identity I could slip into and disdain people who were preoccupied with their appearances.

Itís so sad and awful, isnít it, what women often have to go through to feel like they have a place in the world?

Virtual hugs to you.

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2019, 04:18:55 AM »
It fascinates me that you used to do this stuff, @Malkynn . It doesnít seem like you at all!

What happened to make you fall off the glamazon wagon in general?

Oh, I still rock the shit out of a ball gown and 5 inch heels at least a half dozen times a year, but 99% of the time I'm in all black athletic gear.

What changed? It took getting a doctorate to finally feel like I had some value to society beyond my appearance.
It's sad, but it's how I felt.

Oh...and I have a very very beautiful mother that I tried to live up to.

Oh, yeah. That all makes sense.

My mom was prettier than me, too. But thankfully, she put a premium on intelligence, so being ďthe smart oneĒ was an identity I could slip into and disdain people who were preoccupied with their appearances.

Itís so sad and awful, isnít it, what women often have to go through to feel like they have a place in the world?

Virtual hugs to you.

Thankfully my mom also put an enormous value on intelligence and hard work, but I was still deeply affected by how glamourous she was and how people reacted to her.

Plus is was the 80s, hair and makeup was such a huge deal.
It still is, but it's different now.

KBecks

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #17 on: July 15, 2019, 04:28:38 AM »
I've always wanted to be a natural beauty, low maintenance, a little lip gloss and mascara and that's it!
The beauty industry is INDUSTRY, big time. Fashion too.
I think the Hollywood pretty machine can make anyone attractive if necessary, but I have no reason to put myself through all that shit. I just know that if I had a makeup artist and stylist and whatever, it works.
But I enjoy my t-shirts and sweats and sensible shoes and natural skin.

I look at eyelash extensions as freaky spiders, and I usually, unfortunately, judge the people who have them as being a little bit stupid, or, suckers.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2019, 04:30:51 AM by KBecks »

Hula Hoop

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #18 on: July 15, 2019, 07:38:49 AM »
Wow -Malkynn.  I would never have guessed that you're a recoverting glamazon.  I'm kinda the opposite.  I've never curled my hair, very rarely wear heels and only wear makeup to work or fancy parties.  I remember a Southern friend staying with my about 10 years ago who asked to borrow my hair dryer and she was just astounded that I didn't own one.  I do wear dresses and skirts most days during the summer though but for comfort reasons.

Anyway I have a friend who does the eyelash extensions and I didn't have the heart to tell her that she looked the same before and after the application of the extensions.  I had no idea that it took 2 hours and that much money though.  What a waste.

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #19 on: July 15, 2019, 08:14:21 AM »
Wow -Malkynn.  I would never have guessed that you're a recoverting glamazon. 

Only partially recovered.
I still full on glam-out on a regular basis, I just don't feel like I have to and have very little patience for being uncomfortable.

KBecks

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #20 on: July 15, 2019, 08:35:35 AM »
Maybe we need a thread on affordable glam. I don't have the lifestyle to glam out, but a friend goes to many charity events due to her husband's job.  She knows how to do it and looks great in photos. I say, great photos! 

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #21 on: July 15, 2019, 09:11:26 AM »
Maybe we need a thread on affordable glam. I don't have the lifestyle to glam out, but a friend goes to many charity events due to her husband's job.  She knows how to do it and looks great in photos. I say, great photos!

I believe we already have one somewhere.

Yeah, I go to a number of galas/formal events each year. They're pretty over the top. There are a number of dress shops in town that make you give your name and event to make sure that no one else attending will have the same dress.
It's serious business, lol.


pudding

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #22 on: July 15, 2019, 09:26:06 AM »
Some of those eyelashes look freaky to me. Also when people have that injected upper lip and plumped up cheekbones, it reminds me of the rocky horror show.
Tattooed eyebrows, implants, hair dye, and now on occasion I see someone with these outrages inflated butt cheeks and hips... wtf is going on? It's like a kind of deceit.

KBecks

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #23 on: July 15, 2019, 09:30:33 AM »
Yo, these hips are natural!  LOL.

cats

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #24 on: July 15, 2019, 10:04:37 AM »
I get my hair cut at an Aveda school.  One time I was there and chatting with the student/stylist who was cutting my hair and she was telling me about her plans for post-graduation.  Apparently she had actually already been cutting hair for years and had a pretty good business going out of her garage salon (her husband had installed some amazing sink for hair washing, I recall), but she was back at the Aveda school because she really wanted to do less hair and focus on other beauty treatments.  Specifically, eyelash extensions.  At the time I was somewhat floored.  Now, seeing how much one can pay for these...hmmm.  I think my student/stylist was setting herself up pretty well! 

Overall, I am kind of surprised at how much some women I know will pay for "beauty" type stuff.  In my mind, things like botox, lash tinting, paying for body hair removal in a salon setting, or now that weird "cool sculpting" thing where you supposedly get your fat frozen off are all for people with jobs that require a certain physical appearance (actress, TV presenter, model, etc.), not for "normal" people like myself.  But I know at least one woman who gets botox regularly and many who pay to get various body parts waxed or who have done extensive amounts of laser hair removal.  No idea if anyone I know personally is paying for lash extensions but judging from the number of women I see on transit with insanely long lashes, I would guess the local lash extension industry is booming.


Dicey

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #25 on: July 15, 2019, 10:20:30 AM »
I used to work for a cosmetics company and was quite the glamour girl. Fortunately, it was back in the days before all this crazy stuff existed. Silk nails were the thing then, and false eyelashes on strips, but those were only for seriously glamorous events.

I am also an admitted HGTV junkie. (We flip houses, I'm just keeping up with the trends.) This effect is what I seriously dislike about Christina (el Moussa) Anstead. Her makeup looks like she's about to attend a full-on Gala every damn day. I hate the message of perfection at enormous cost, both of time and money. And don't get me started on the hair extensions, you know, besides the eyelash kind, which she also does. Why?

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #26 on: July 15, 2019, 10:46:57 AM »
Some of those eyelashes look freaky to me. Also when people have that injected upper lip and plumped up cheekbones, it reminds me of the rocky horror show.
Tattooed eyebrows, implants, hair dye, and now on occasion I see someone with these outrages inflated butt cheeks and hips... wtf is going on? It's like a kind of deceit.

Yep.

There are a lot of cases of overdone lashes and injections for sure. However, I guarantee that you see tons of people who have these procedures regularly and you have no idea.

I work with a woman who has had breast implants and liposuction and you would never know it. She's a down to earth sporty woman who doesn't wear makeup and embraces her grey hair.

You really never know unless the person's work is done poorly or intentionally meant to be noticed.

As for lashes, yeah, a lot of them are excessive because women want a lot of "bang for their buck" and really don't want to look natural. They don't look that way because of the product, they look that way because they're trying to.
Fake is an esthetic in and of itself, and it's usually intentional.

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #27 on: July 15, 2019, 11:07:55 AM »
I get my hair cut at an Aveda school.  One time I was there and chatting with the student/stylist who was cutting my hair and she was telling me about her plans for post-graduation.  Apparently she had actually already been cutting hair for years and had a pretty good business going out of her garage salon (her husband had installed some amazing sink for hair washing, I recall), but she was back at the Aveda school because she really wanted to do less hair and focus on other beauty treatments.  Specifically, eyelash extensions.  At the time I was somewhat floored.  Now, seeing how much one can pay for these...hmmm.  I think my student/stylist was setting herself up pretty well! 

Overall, I am kind of surprised at how much some women I know will pay for "beauty" type stuff.  In my mind, things like botox, lash tinting, paying for body hair removal in a salon setting, or now that weird "cool sculpting" thing where you supposedly get your fat frozen off are all for people with jobs that require a certain physical appearance (actress, TV presenter, model, etc.), not for "normal" people like myself.  But I know at least one woman who gets botox regularly and many who pay to get various body parts waxed or who have done extensive amounts of laser hair removal.  No idea if anyone I know personally is paying for lash extensions but judging from the number of women I see on transit with insanely long lashes, I would guess the local lash extension industry is booming.

Pfft, most women in my world spend more on their hair alone than I do on groceries. It's quite common. Don't even ask how much my friends who get weaves are spending.
Fuuuuuck.

That said, I find the discourse around vanity to always be a little lopsided. People are quite reactive to things they perceive as unusual, but "normal" things like getting highlights in your hair or wearing heels to work are generally ignored, despite the fact that those two things alone arguably make up the MOST expensive and the MOST painful aspects of vanity, when you account for the fact that they're both ongoing...often for decades.

Also, getting painful needles for tattoos is okay now, but getting virtually painless needles for Botox is extreme.

There's no real rhyme or reason as to what is considered "reasonable" vanity and what isn't.

cats

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #28 on: July 15, 2019, 02:19:39 PM »
I get my hair cut at an Aveda school.  One time I was there and chatting with the student/stylist who was cutting my hair and she was telling me about her plans for post-graduation.  Apparently she had actually already been cutting hair for years and had a pretty good business going out of her garage salon (her husband had installed some amazing sink for hair washing, I recall), but she was back at the Aveda school because she really wanted to do less hair and focus on other beauty treatments.  Specifically, eyelash extensions.  At the time I was somewhat floored.  Now, seeing how much one can pay for these...hmmm.  I think my student/stylist was setting herself up pretty well! 

Overall, I am kind of surprised at how much some women I know will pay for "beauty" type stuff.  In my mind, things like botox, lash tinting, paying for body hair removal in a salon setting, or now that weird "cool sculpting" thing where you supposedly get your fat frozen off are all for people with jobs that require a certain physical appearance (actress, TV presenter, model, etc.), not for "normal" people like myself.  But I know at least one woman who gets botox regularly and many who pay to get various body parts waxed or who have done extensive amounts of laser hair removal.  No idea if anyone I know personally is paying for lash extensions but judging from the number of women I see on transit with insanely long lashes, I would guess the local lash extension industry is booming.

Pfft, most women in my world spend more on their hair alone than I do on groceries. It's quite common. Don't even ask how much my friends who get weaves are spending.
Fuuuuuck.

That said, I find the discourse around vanity to always be a little lopsided. People are quite reactive to things they perceive as unusual, but "normal" things like getting highlights in your hair or wearing heels to work are generally ignored, despite the fact that those two things alone arguably make up the MOST expensive and the MOST painful aspects of vanity, when you account for the fact that they're both ongoing...often for decades.

Also, getting painful needles for tattoos is okay now, but getting virtually painless needles for Botox is extreme.

There's no real rhyme or reason as to what is considered "reasonable" vanity and what isn't.

True true.  I guess I also find highlights or professional hair color to be crazy expensive.  I have extremely dark hair and it's always been my understanding that it would be a PITA and expensive to dye it or do any kind of highlights so while I do think those things look nice, I haven't really considered it seriously.  I have dyed my hair a few times at home (all over 10+ years ago now) but now my thoughts on that are basically: I have better or more important things to do with my Saturday morning. Also it is hard to do a good job on home hair dye and I do not have the level of patience it seems to require. As I have gotten older and older I have gotten less and less interested in "beauty" stuff that doesn't also have some sort of non-beauty benefit (i.e. I will put moisturizer with SPF on my face daily because I don't want to get skin cancer).  I do still shave my legs I guess.  And I get my hair cut a few times a year (if not colored).


Villanelle

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #29 on: July 15, 2019, 02:28:12 PM »
This was a Thing in the place from which I recently moved.  Someone local did them out of her home, and a surprising number of people did them.  I guess there were options for how thick/intense/dramatic they could be, and nearly everyone went with the most intense, which looked pretty silly when they were out and about grocery shopping, with no other make up.  And the worst was when they'd start to wear off.  It looked like a case of eyelash mange, where most were short and then there would be a few rouge lashes on each eye, or a section that was super full when the rest of the lash was normal.  And people PAID to look like that. 

So in addition to a lot of money for a tiny little thing, I didn't even think they actually looked good. 

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #30 on: July 15, 2019, 03:13:23 PM »
This was a Thing in the place from which I recently moved.  Someone local did them out of her home, and a surprising number of people did them.  I guess there were options for how thick/intense/dramatic they could be, and nearly everyone went with the most intense, which looked pretty silly when they were out and about grocery shopping, with no other make up.  And the worst was when they'd start to wear off.  It looked like a case of eyelash mange, where most were short and then there would be a few rouge lashes on each eye, or a section that was super full when the rest of the lash was normal.  And people PAID to look like that. 

So in addition to a lot of money for a tiny little thing, I didn't even think they actually looked good.

LOL @ eyelash mange.

omg so incredibly accurate

John Galt incarnate!

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #31 on: July 15, 2019, 03:30:04 PM »
This was a Thing in the place from which I recently moved.  Someone local did them out of her home, and a surprising number of people did them.  I guess there were options for how thick/intense/dramatic they could be, and nearly everyone went with the most intense, which looked pretty silly when they were out and about grocery shopping, with no other make up.  And the worst was when they'd start to wear off.  It looked like a case of eyelash mange, where most were short and then there would be a few rouge lashes on each eye, or a section that was super full when the rest of the lash was normal.  And people PAID to look like that. 

So in addition to a lot of money for a tiny little thing, I didn't even think they actually looked good.

LOL @ eyelash mange.

omg so incredibly accurate

Hey, I just guffawed too.

Malkynn

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #32 on: July 15, 2019, 05:24:36 PM »
This was a Thing in the place from which I recently moved.  Someone local did them out of her home, and a surprising number of people did them.  I guess there were options for how thick/intense/dramatic they could be, and nearly everyone went with the most intense, which looked pretty silly when they were out and about grocery shopping, with no other make up.  And the worst was when they'd start to wear off.  It looked like a case of eyelash mange, where most were short and then there would be a few rouge lashes on each eye, or a section that was super full when the rest of the lash was normal.  And people PAID to look like that. 

So in addition to a lot of money for a tiny little thing, I didn't even think they actually looked good.

LOL @ eyelash mange.

omg so incredibly accurate

Hey, I just guffawed too.

Yeah, but it comes off a lot less judgemental from a woman who admits that she used to get them herself ;)

I'm laughing because it describes exactly what I used to see in the mirror, on the one stupid eye on the side I slept on. I used to marvel at how dumb it was that I spent so much to only look uneven and, yes, mangy, after only about 10 days.

I'm laughing at myself.

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #33 on: July 15, 2019, 05:39:23 PM »
I get my hair cut at an Aveda school.  One time I was there and chatting with the student/stylist who was cutting my hair and she was telling me about her plans for post-graduation.  Apparently she had actually already been cutting hair for years and had a pretty good business going out of her garage salon (her husband had installed some amazing sink for hair washing, I recall), but she was back at the Aveda school because she really wanted to do less hair and focus on other beauty treatments.  Specifically, eyelash extensions.  At the time I was somewhat floored.  Now, seeing how much one can pay for these...hmmm.  I think my student/stylist was setting herself up pretty well! 

Overall, I am kind of surprised at how much some women I know will pay for "beauty" type stuff.  In my mind, things like botox, lash tinting, paying for body hair removal in a salon setting, or now that weird "cool sculpting" thing where you supposedly get your fat frozen off are all for people with jobs that require a certain physical appearance (actress, TV presenter, model, etc.), not for "normal" people like myself.  But I know at least one woman who gets botox regularly and many who pay to get various body parts waxed or who have done extensive amounts of laser hair removal.  No idea if anyone I know personally is paying for lash extensions but judging from the number of women I see on transit with insanely long lashes, I would guess the local lash extension industry is booming.

Pfft, most women in my world spend more on their hair alone than I do on groceries. It's quite common. Don't even ask how much my friends who get weaves are spending.
Fuuuuuck.

That said, I find the discourse around vanity to always be a little lopsided. People are quite reactive to things they perceive as unusual, but "normal" things like getting highlights in your hair or wearing heels to work are generally ignored, despite the fact that those two things alone arguably make up the MOST expensive and the MOST painful aspects of vanity, when you account for the fact that they're both ongoing...often for decades.

Also, getting painful needles for tattoos is okay now, but getting virtually painless needles for Botox is extreme.

There's no real rhyme or reason as to what is considered "reasonable" vanity and what isn't.

Agreed. I found a recent thread on this forum regarding botox to be quite blatantly sexist. Including from a few people who seem to like to think of themselves as enlightened feminists. Some male.

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #34 on: July 16, 2019, 10:35:13 AM »

Agreed. I found a recent thread on this forum regarding botox to be quite blatantly sexist. Including from a few people who seem to like to think of themselves as enlightened feminists. Some male.

I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.

It's a complicated issue, and it's a good example of patriarchy hurts everyone.  People should wear make up if it makes them feel good and is consistent with their other values.  Or not.  Whatever!

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #35 on: July 16, 2019, 10:53:16 AM »
This is hilarious! My coworker has them and it looks so unnatural. Plus, she got a second job bartending...i'm assuming to keep up with her various beauty expenses (hair extensions, lash extensions, fake tanning...etc.)

The wear off just looks terrible, you have clusters of super long lashes after like 2 weeks...

I like the fact that my appearance does not take much to maintain at all. What you see is actually what you get! Every other girl getting a bunch of treatments will look unrecognizable if they don't have access to it. That's a terrible quality to me.

Villanelle

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2019, 11:29:38 AM »

Agreed. I found a recent thread on this forum regarding botox to be quite blatantly sexist. Including from a few people who seem to like to think of themselves as enlightened feminists. Some male.

I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.

It's a complicated issue, and it's a good example of patriarchy hurts everyone.  People should wear make up if it makes them feel good and is consistent with their other values.  Or not.  Whatever!

SO much this!  I'm mostly just quoting because I think this is such an important point.

Clearly, I hate the eyelash extensions.  But if someone wants to spend money on those (or on makeup, which I do wear on occasion; or Spanx, or shaving--something else I do semi-regularly, or laser hair removal, or fillers, or fancy skincare, or...), I don't think those decisions deserve any more contempt that maybe a Starbucks coffee.  Certainly, none of them are truly necessary, so I think it's worth discussing that, especially on a site like MMN.  However, these types of expenses seem to be treated like a special category, worthy of extra scorn or pity, even from supposed allies.  "Women look strange and fake when wearing make up" (or with Botox, or whatever) is such a loaded statement.  (And one I've certainly been guilty of--we are all part of the patriarchy, after all, and influenced by it).  I can't say that when I do wear makeup, there isn't at least some part of me that is doing it to look "pretty" in the eyes of others.  But it's also about me.  Maybe I like feeling traditionally "pretty".  Maybe I like the confidence (even though the fact that slathering shit on my face makes me feel more confident is another patriarchal construction.  Maybe I like looking younger.  Or maybe it's like a cool graphic tee, where I'm aware of what it says about me to others, but I am mostly wearing it because I like it, separate from any reaction it may get or impression it may give.  The assumption is that when we make choices to do these things, we are doing it for approval and thus when others reject those things, the are freeing us of some burden, when in fact it may have little to nothing to do with others. 

I hate eyelash extensions. I think they look horrible, but they are no less ridiculous than wearing mascara, which I'm doing right now.  of course, mascara costs a small fraction of the extension and thus in a MMM context is less wasteful, but it's no less an attempt to spend money to articificially change one's appearance, whether that is for the pleasure of others or oneself. 

RetiredAt63

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2019, 11:36:49 AM »
I hate eyelash extensions. I think they look horrible, but they are no less ridiculous than wearing mascara, which I'm doing right now.  of course, mascara costs a small fraction of the extension and thus in a MMM context is less wasteful, but it's no less an attempt to spend money to articificially change one's appearance, whether that is for the pleasure of others or oneself.

My only regular makeup is mascara, because without it my eyelashes totally disappear. I like to have visible eyelashes. 

Other makeup?  I had to buy lipstick and nail polish for a recent wedding, because, you know, I wanted to feel a bit more dressed up than usual.    ;-)

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2019, 03:35:12 PM »

Agreed. I found a recent thread on this forum regarding botox to be quite blatantly sexist. Including from a few people who seem to like to think of themselves as enlightened feminists. Some male.

I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.

It's a complicated issue, and it's a good example of patriarchy hurts everyone.  People should wear make up if it makes them feel good and is consistent with their other values.  Or not.  Whatever!

Yep. Yep yep yep. I've had the same experience.

MayDay

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2019, 07:21:38 AM »
My MIL applies the glue on fake eyelashes every morning. She is blond (now grey) and her eyelashes are practically invisible. I find it bizarre......  Like, first of all, you are blond so of course your eyelashes are too. And second, how about just some mascara?

My grandmother got her eyeliner tattooed on. It seems a bit ridiculous but my entire early childhood she spent forever painstakingly applying eyeliner every morning. That tattoo saved her so much time. And at least it was a one time expense that stayed looking good!

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #40 on: July 17, 2019, 07:30:08 AM »
What I've heard is that women dress up and use makeup to impress and/or intimidate other women, moreso or just as much as to impress men.  Many women care about what other women are wearing, pay attention to these details, and make a lot of comparisons.

Villanelle

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #41 on: July 17, 2019, 08:39:26 AM »
What I've heard is that women dress up and use makeup to impress and/or intimidate other women, moreso or just as much as to impress men.  Many women care about what other women are wearing, pay attention to these details, and make a lot of comparisons.


What about the possibility that women dress up and use make up because they like they way it makes them look?  That is it part of some pissing contest to intimidate other women is an even more insulting premise than that it's just about impressing men.

So, kindly, fuck what you've "heard".  And you clearly missed the point of the last few posts in this thread. 

BlueHouse

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #42 on: July 17, 2019, 09:16:16 AM »
My MIL applies the glue on fake eyelashes every morning. She is blond (now grey) and her eyelashes are practically invisible. I find it bizarre......  Like, first of all, you are blond so of course your eyelashes are too. And second, how about just some mascara?

My grandmother got her eyeliner tattooed on. It seems a bit ridiculous but my entire early childhood she spent forever painstakingly applying eyeliner every morning. That tattoo saved her so much time. And at least it was a one time expense that stayed looking good!

I have eyeliner tattoos and I love love love them.  I love that it makes it look like I tried a little, even when I just roll out of bed and head out to the store.  I also love that my eyeliner doesn't smudge under my eyes.   I've had these tattoos for almost 15 years and they still look great -- probably because I ALWAYS wear sunglasses outside. 

I also had Full Lip tattoos but that faded off over about 8-10 years. 

I do like the color that they add to my face.  I look bland and washed out without some color and I've pared my makeup routine down so much that without the lip tattoo, I really just look beige now.   I might get my lips redone. 

KBecks

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #43 on: July 17, 2019, 09:39:23 AM »
What I've heard is that women dress up and use makeup to impress and/or intimidate other women, moreso or just as much as to impress men.  Many women care about what other women are wearing, pay attention to these details, and make a lot of comparisons.


What about the possibility that women dress up and use make up because they like they way it makes them look?  That is it part of some pissing contest to intimidate other women is an even more insulting premise than that it's just about impressing men.

So, kindly, fuck what you've "heard".  And you clearly missed the point of the last few posts in this thread.

I think there are many motivations for people to dress up and enhance their looks or not.  Let's leave it there, and thanks for your kindness.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #44 on: July 18, 2019, 03:28:42 PM »
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #45 on: July 18, 2019, 03:53:42 PM »
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

Itís not that a man can never pay a compliment to a woman. But can you understand how this isnít really so much a compliment as a ďthis is how I think you look better, and I think itís somehow my place to tell you my preference of your appearance choicesĒ?

spartana

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #46 on: July 18, 2019, 04:27:42 PM »
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

It’s not that a man can never pay a compliment to a woman. But can you understand how this isn’t really so much a compliment as a “this is how I think you look better, and I think it’s somehow my place to tell you my preference of your appearance choices”?
But don't your women friends compliment you in exactly the same way? "spartana glad to see you removed all that make-up. You look so much better without it." Make that clothes or hair or any other "female-thingy" and women say the same thing to women all.the.time.  Nothing sexist imho.

As for the OP - yeah I think eyelash extensions are crazy. I'm very blonde with blonde fine lashes. I don't wear make up unless I'm going out somewhere special otherwise I basicly look like an alien day to day ;-).
« Last Edit: July 18, 2019, 04:33:19 PM by spartana »

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #47 on: July 18, 2019, 04:42:33 PM »
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

Itís not that a man can never pay a compliment to a woman. But can you understand how this isnít really so much a compliment as a ďthis is how I think you look better, and I think itís somehow my place to tell you my preference of your appearance choicesĒ?
But don't your women friends compliment you in exactly the same way? "spartana glad to see you removed all that make-up. You look so much better without it." Make that clothes or hair or any other "female-thingy" and women say the same thing to women all.the.time.  Nothing sexist imho.

As for the OP - yeah I think eyelash extensions are crazy. I'm very blonde with blonde fine lashes. I don't wear make up unless I'm going out somewhere special otherwise I basicly look like an alien day to day ;-).

No. They donít. Maybe my friends are all nicer than that. A compliment is saying something nice, not saying the way you used to do something was not as good. The only people I have had say stuff like that are people who seem to be trying to subtly cut down my confidence pr who seem to think they are supposed to have a say in my fashion choices. Male or female, not cool.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2019, 04:44:20 PM by Kris »

spartana

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #48 on: July 18, 2019, 05:09:05 PM »
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

Itís not that a man can never pay a compliment to a woman. But can you understand how this isnít really so much a compliment as a ďthis is how I think you look better, and I think itís somehow my place to tell you my preference of your appearance choicesĒ?
But don't your women friends compliment you in exactly the same way? "spartana glad to see you removed all that make-up. You look so much better without it." Make that clothes or hair or any other "female-thingy" and women say the same thing to women all.the.time.  Nothing sexist imho.

As for the OP - yeah I think eyelash extensions are crazy. I'm very blonde with blonde fine lashes. I don't wear make up unless I'm going out somewhere special otherwise I basicly look like an alien day to day ;-).

No. They donít. Maybe my friends are all nicer than that. A compliment is saying something nice, not saying the way you used to do something was not as good. The only people I have had say stuff like that are people who seem to be trying to subtly cut down my confidence pr who seem to think they are supposed to have a say in my fashion choices. Male or female, not cool.
Different strokes I guess as I see it more that they are trying to build me up rather then cut me down. Saying I don't need to do "all that stuff" to look good as I'm perfect just the natural way I am.

Villanelle

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #49 on: July 18, 2019, 07:37:18 PM »
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

Itís not that a man can never pay a compliment to a woman. But can you understand how this isnít really so much a compliment as a ďthis is how I think you look better, and I think itís somehow my place to tell you my preference of your appearance choicesĒ?
But don't your women friends compliment you in exactly the same way? "spartana glad to see you removed all that make-up. You look so much better without it." Make that clothes or hair or any other "female-thingy" and women say the same thing to women all.the.time.  Nothing sexist imho.

As for the OP - yeah I think eyelash extensions are crazy. I'm very blonde with blonde fine lashes. I don't wear make up unless I'm going out somewhere special otherwise I basicly look like an alien day to day ;-).
I've found it really hard to have conversations about feminine beauty standards with people who aren't women.  I've been stepping away from beauty products and procedures for several years now, mostly because of the inherent waste and consumerism involved.  But I have admit it rubs me the wrong way when he says something like, "I'm glad you don't wear make up anymore.  I think you look better this way."  He is definitely trying to pay me a sincere compliment, and I take it as such, but part of me thinks, "Dude, it was never about you!"

There's an underlying assumption that women make the aesthetic choices they do primarily to gain the approval of men.  The flip side being if men say "I think women look better when they avoid these procedures" women should all breathe a big sigh of relief because now they don't have to do it anymore.  Which is, of course, sexist and heteronormative BS.  But, at the same time, it's important to remember though that many make those statements in an attempt to be kind and supportive and don't necessarily realize that they're premised on the assumption that women were looking for their approval.
If I may, as a man, I find it rather...unsettling that a man cannot pay a woman a sincere compliment without her thinking that his motivation has something to with their respective sexes.  If I pay a woman a compliment on her appearance, or her accomplishments, or anything else, I do it as one person to another, not as a man to a woman.

I'm sure many (most? nearly all?) women *have* had experiences which would bias them towards such a supposition, but can we at least give people the benefit of the doubt?

No, that is not how my friends, male or female, compliment me.  And I'd find it rather abrasive if they did.  "Villanelle, you look lovely today."  Or perhaps "You look amazing without make up" [with no mention of comparisons to other looks, and therefore no veiled insults].

Telling someone they look better is also telling them they looked worse.  If the goal is a compliment, it seems one would want to avoid that.  "You don't look bad anymore", is not a compliment, even if it's polished up a bit.