But how do we ultimately know if their way is the wrong way? Maybe it will all work out. For instance, I have neighbors in their early 50's that act like 20-year olds. Must be up to debt to their eyeballs, but they keep on spending. They have probably spent the equivalent of what we have in savings in nicer cars, upgrades to the house, eating out, social life, travel, gifts to the kids... They will probably take out loans when the kids go off to school and they will probably work into their 60's or longer just to pay off their debts and retire on social security. Every once in a while they let on that they 'blew' $xx that they were trying to save or didn't realize how much insurance on the new M3 was going to cost. But they don't know any differently, despite our shining fiscal example with sensible cars, cost-effective home maintenance, conversations about 401ks, 529s, etc. On the flip side, I don't get to walk around with a bubble of my net worth over my head or any other special signifiers of status, which is fine with me. So maybe we are currently at an equivalent level of life satisfaction for all I know, I just happen to prefer the security and excitement of being financially independent.
Of course, if both of us lose our jobs, I would much prefer to be me, but I don't resent them and wish them all the best. They are fun to hang out with.