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Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: minority_finance_mo on February 15, 2015, 08:08:52 AM

Title: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: minority_finance_mo on February 15, 2015, 08:08:52 AM
Introducing the Potty Golf Set (https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-7-piece-potty-golf-set-with-putter-1)

Set Contents
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: Khaetra on February 15, 2015, 08:36:08 AM
The sad thing is that over 40 people bought this.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: PEIslander on February 15, 2015, 10:57:00 AM
But I'd have to put down my reading materials...
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: NV Teacher on February 15, 2015, 08:11:01 PM
And here I was thinking this post would be about fiber or laxatives.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: Cheddar Stacker on February 15, 2015, 08:19:22 PM
Quote from: NV Teacher on February 15, 2015, 08:11:01 PM
And here I was thinking this post would be about fiber or laxatives.

Ha!

I used to sometimes get actual work done on the toilet. Now I just peruse the forums. If there was ever a time to choose leisure over work, that's it.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: NoraLenderbee on February 15, 2015, 09:14:51 PM
Oh look, the Potty Putter is back!
http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Putter-Toilet-Time-Golf/dp/B000LC65QA
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: marty998 on February 15, 2015, 09:37:55 PM
Oh man, the business opportunity for someone to find a gene to genetically modify or invent a more efficient digestive system that doesn't produce waste.

How productive would that be to never have to spend time every day on the shitter. Imagine the global revolution that would bring. No more toilets, no need for sewerage systems. No more need for toilet paper.

Imagine the joy of parents in not having to worry about nappies or toilet training.

Entire environmentally unfriendly industries could be shut down completely.

Any biological scientists out there who could lend an opinion? If we know this is possible in theory, we can start brainstorming a way to make it happen. Technology is probably beyond us now, but technology can move very very fast when it needs to.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: stlbrah on February 16, 2015, 04:37:18 AM
If Americans didn't rely so much on fast food, they would not be on the toilet so long. It should take 5 minutes tops.

At work, the office reeks of mcdonalds from 11-1. From 1-3 the bathroom is packed, and people are grunting loudly and their ass sounds like a trombone. I just don't understand why people make themselves sick.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: RetiredAt63 on February 16, 2015, 05:27:01 PM
Sorry, a good part of the volume is dead cells that lined the gut before they died - it is a rough environment in there.  Even new-borns have a bit of poop (meconium).

Actually in dogs, volume measures how digestible the food is (they are mostly carnivorous, after all) - if you are picking up a lot after your dog (or cat), that is money you wasted when you bought their food.  And it made more work - not a good idea.  Being omnivores, we can't draw quite the same conclusions about our own diets.

Quote from: marty998 on February 15, 2015, 09:37:55 PM
Oh man, the business opportunity for someone to find a gene to genetically modify or invent a more efficient digestive system that doesn't produce waste.

Any biological scientists out there who could lend an opinion? If we know this is possible in theory, we can start brainstorming a way to make it happen. Technology is probably beyond us now, but technology can move very very fast when it needs to.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: trailrated on February 16, 2015, 05:48:51 PM
There is an app that you either plug in your salary or hourly rate then it has a start/stop function that basically tells you how much you just got paid to take a shit. Stupid? Absolutely. Hilarious and entertaining? Methinks yes.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: Financial.Velociraptor on February 16, 2015, 06:39:02 PM
I am the KING OF TOILET PRODUCTIVITY!

It sounds like a cannon going off in there.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: fantabulous on February 16, 2015, 07:30:26 PM
Quote from: stlbrah on February 16, 2015, 04:37:18 AM
If Americans didn't rely so much on fast food, they would not be on the toilet so long. It should take 5 minutes tops.

At work, the office reeks of mcdonalds from 11-1. From 1-3 the bathroom is packed, and people are grunting loudly and their ass sounds like a trombone. I just don't understand why people make themselves sick.

Avoiding this is by far the best part of my having come out as a trans woman in my mostly male workplace.
Title: Re: Ever wish you could be more productive on the toilet?
Post by: MsPeacock on February 16, 2015, 09:29:17 PM
Quote from: fantabulous on February 16, 2015, 07:30:26 PM
Quote from: stlbrah on February 16, 2015, 04:37:18 AM
If Americans didn't rely so much on fast food, they would not be on the toilet so long. It should take 5 minutes tops.

At work, the office reeks of mcdonalds from 11-1. From 1-3 the bathroom is packed, and people are grunting loudly and their ass sounds like a trombone. I just don't understand why people make themselves sick.

Avoiding this is by far the best part of my having come out as a trans woman in my mostly male workplace.

Well, that confirms something I long suspected about men's bathrooms. (I have 2 boys, so I am not completely clueless about male bathroom habits). No one has time at work to leave for fast food, so I guess that is something to be thankful for as well.