Author Topic: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money  (Read 36493 times)

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3646
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #50 on: May 12, 2017, 08:38:57 AM »
I actually got so pissed at that bank that I called my wife instantly and said that I was going loan him $3400 interest-free if she was ok with it. Turns out she was fine with it and him and I went to get the car.

Not sure why you were pissed at the bank. 12-15% interest mitigates the large risk of loaning money to someone who can't afford a $4000 used car.  They don't know borrowers personally, and can't judge them on character, as you were able to.  On paper, they were a risky investment.


I concur that while the loan interest seems high I can understand the bank doing it. For them I doubt it would be an auto loan as it is a used car, but rather a personal loan. I applaud you for being willing to lend them the money interest-free. You didn't have to and I'm guessing your friend wouldn't have faulted you for not loaning him the money, but it is great that you did so.

LiveLean

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 808
  • Location: Central Florida
    • ToLiveLean
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #51 on: May 12, 2017, 11:21:41 AM »
I was loading my minivan at Costco when an Escalade pulls up. Two twentysomething girls, both eating from Chipotle bags.

"Excuse me, Sir. Wondering if you could help us out. We're (sob story) and we need money for gas......."

I didn't even respond.

Sibley

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4787
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #52 on: May 12, 2017, 11:28:17 AM »
Ex boyfriend, nice guy. Terrible with money. He was living in an apt when he really couldn't afford it, and due to his inability to not eat out, ran out of money. I loaned him about $2-3k for living expenses. Wrote it off when we broke up 6 months later and I moved 2000 miles.

More recently, I agreed to be a co-applicant on a loan for my sister for law exam costs & living expenses. I grilled her on her finances first, but was pretty willing to do so since she has a track record of decent financial choices. She's accepted a gov't job offer, so I'm not concerned about it. I also told her that if she defaults, or pays late, she will regret it. Apparently, I am capable of scaring people.

Reynold

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 263
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #53 on: May 12, 2017, 01:45:36 PM »
I was renting a room in a single family home from a women when in grad school. Apparently, she was renting the house from someone else and not paying them rent. She asked me to pay two months rent in advance and I would get some sort of a discount. I agreed and we were evicted in less than 2 weeks.

I kind of had the reverse of this; rented the lower part of a house as a student, it had 2 bedrooms, so I split it with another friend.  After the first semester of the year, she left, and laughed at me when I said she was responsible for the other half of the rent or had to find another renter.  I didn't find anyone else to sublet it mid-year, so ended up just having to carry double the cost for the rest of the year. 

One I've told elsewhere on the forum but fits here, a couple of days after moving into a new place in a new state, the 17 year old son of the next door neighbor, to whom we had chatted briefly on moving in, knocked on the door and wanted to borrow $5 for gas to get to his band practice.  I gave him $10, since $5 didn't buy much gas at the time.  I figured it was worth the investment to see how trustworthy he was, in case we wanted someone to water plants while we were away or something.  I did remind him about a month later, but he said he would have to wait to pay me back till he got a job.  Finally, 6-8 months after the loan, he paid me back out of the blue.  Diagnosis; well-intentioned, but not reliable enough to trust with anything important. :)

LeRainDrop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1834
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #54 on: May 13, 2017, 12:15:17 AM »
When I was 22 years old, and had recently joined the working world, a colleague who was senior to me privately asked me if she could borrow $200.  She said she would be able to fully repay me in one week, but also confided that she could not tell me what the money was for.  It was sorta a lot of money for me, or rather, I would have been upset if it were not repaid.  I really liked her personally and sort of felt pressure to help, like it might be bad for me if I said no.  She did, in fact, repay me in full one week later and was very gracious and thankful.  But I always wondered what that $200 was for...I speculated abortion or bail money...though the truth is I have no idea and will never know.  At the least, that all ended with our friendship/work relationship intact.  Plus, she never asked me for another loan or put me in an uncomfortable position like that again.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6942
  • Location: BC
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Borrow Money
« Reply #55 on: May 13, 2017, 01:57:53 AM »
I fronted someone a new fancyish laptop when I was 18 and got burned (naively assumed everyone is decent with money and would prioritize paying someone back, I saw about $0). 

Never again.  Expensive lessons, but lessons none the less.  If I give someone money in the future, it'll be a gift, not a loan.
I watched my nephew go through this.   4 friends decided to buy friend #5 a game system, so they could all play together (friend #5 had some family challenges).   Nephew bought the system and the gift was given and joy all around.   But darn if nephew could not get the 3 others to pitch in their share after.

former player

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6093
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #56 on: May 13, 2017, 06:34:06 AM »
I once lent a family member a five figure sum so that they could gift a new bell to their church.  Utterly dumb in my opinion, but utterly reliable family member who quickly paid me back in full as agreed.

As the gift to the church counted as a gift to a charity, I made a tax claim on it and got back more tax than my family member would have, so some good came out of it.

CutTheFat

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 77
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #57 on: May 13, 2017, 08:06:11 AM »
My FIL asked my DH for $13k so he wouldn't lose his house to foreclosure.  DH said no.  FIL borrowed it from DH's brother, he still lost his house and he never paid a cent of it back and that was a few years ago. 

My sister just asked my parents for a "loan" to completely remodel her kitchen after crying poor after her break up with her bf and having to be a single income household.  They bought a house together a couple years ago and she claims she is struggling and living paycheck to paycheck.  I know she is not struggling by any stretch of the imagination.  She lives larger than anyone in my circle.  She owns her own business and shelters her cash from the IRS which falsely qualifies her for state health insurance for herself and her child (the child can be on his fathers plan but she lies about that too otherwise she looses her benefits), heating assistance and reduced school lunch.  This is all while she gets her nails done every week,  botox injections every few months, just got the veins on her legs zapped, invsalign, a new tattoo, has a vacation scheduled next month and posts pictures of her at restaurants and bars at least twice a week on social media.  I made sure that my parents knew the truth in case the were not on to her deception.  I can't believe that my father who is like the original MMM couldn't say no.  She hasn't pick all the finishes yet but according to day it will be north of $20k.  I told him he is enabling her behavior.  It's not as if her roof is leaking or something.  She is ripping out a wall to open up the space and replacing all appliances, back splash, cabinets, counters sink etc.  For no other reason other than because she is selfish and wants to.           

LeRainDrop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1834
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #58 on: May 13, 2017, 04:31:53 PM »
My FIL asked my DH for $13k so he wouldn't lose his house to foreclosure.  DH said no.  FIL borrowed it from DH's brother, he still lost his house and he never paid a cent of it back and that was a few years ago.

Oh, damn!

Quote
My sister just asked my parents for a "loan" to completely remodel her kitchen after crying poor after her break up with her bf and having to be a single income household.  They bought a house together a couple years ago and she claims she is struggling and living paycheck to paycheck.  I know she is not struggling by any stretch of the imagination.  She lives larger than anyone in my circle.  She owns her own business and shelters her cash from the IRS which falsely qualifies her for state health insurance for herself and her child (the child can be on his fathers plan but she lies about that too otherwise she looses her benefits), heating assistance and reduced school lunch.  This is all while she gets her nails done every week,  botox injections every few months, just got the veins on her legs zapped, invsalign, a new tattoo, has a vacation scheduled next month and posts pictures of her at restaurants and bars at least twice a week on social media.  I made sure that my parents knew the truth in case the were not on to her deception.  I can't believe that my father who is like the original MMM couldn't say no.  She hasn't pick all the finishes yet but according to day it will be north of $20k.  I told him he is enabling her behavior.  It's not as if her roof is leaking or something.  She is ripping out a wall to open up the space and replacing all appliances, back splash, cabinets, counters sink etc.  For no other reason other than because she is selfish and wants to.           

Disgusting.

Paul der Krake

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5253
  • Age: 12
  • Location: UTC-10:00
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #59 on: May 13, 2017, 05:58:51 PM »
A friend of mine loaned money to a young woman we both knew to help her with her rent.  She was supposed to pay him back come payday.    She didn't, and instead spent her paycheck on new clothes, then wrote him a bum check.

This pissed him off.

So he took the canceled check that had bounced and waited until her next payday.  He showed up at the bank bright and early the next day and cashed the check.   She went out and spent that paycheck on more clothes at lots of different stores.s
All her checks bounced so she was out gobs of money in fees.

Sweet revenge.
Filing this in the "knowledge that could come handy one day" cabinet. Is it standard to be able to keep a check that's already bounced? I would have assumed that the bank would destroy it.

Blackeagle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 140
  • Location: Wichita, KS
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #60 on: May 13, 2017, 06:21:55 PM »
Never again.  Expensive lessons, but lessons none the less.  If I give someone money in the future, it'll be a gift, not a loan.

Key word.  You gave. 

Never lend to family or friends.  If their need is real, give without expectations.  Never be afraid to say NO.

This.  If a relative or close friend needs money for good reasons, I'm willing to give it to them, but I won't loan it.  Complicating a relationship that should be a good thing, just for some prospect of repayment just isn't worth it.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3924
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #61 on: May 13, 2017, 06:44:28 PM »
A friend of mine loaned money to a young woman we both knew to help her with her rent.  She was supposed to pay him back come payday.    She didn't, and instead spent her paycheck on new clothes, then wrote him a bum check.

This pissed him off.

So he took the canceled check that had bounced and waited until her next payday.  He showed up at the bank bright and early the next day and cashed the check.   She went out and spent that paycheck on more clothes at lots of different stores.s
All her checks bounced so she was out gobs of money in fees.

Sweet revenge.
Filing this in the "knowledge that could come handy one day" cabinet. Is it standard to be able to keep a check that's already bounced? I would have assumed that the bank would destroy it.

Nowadays, with some banks you can deposit cheques with the bank app on your phone, allowing you to "deposit" AND keep it. Just a thought.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3924
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #62 on: May 13, 2017, 06:47:06 PM »
Lent $800 to an old boyfriend who was not going to be able to afford rent. Learned my lesson.

Recently, was asked to lend money to a fellow bridesmaid for parking. Both of her credit cards were maxed and she wasn't going to get paid until _whenever_. I paid the parking cost ($7? $10?) knowing I would never try to collect from her. I resented paying but also felt bad for her poor money management. To top it off, she later got a $75 ticket for not having paid for a long enough time in the parking spot. Made me see how poor money management can really spiral.

Hargrove

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 738
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #63 on: May 13, 2017, 08:41:07 PM »
Quote
Filing this in the "knowledge that could come handy one day" cabinet. Is it standard to be able to keep a check that's already bounced? I would have assumed that the bank would destroy it.

You can redeposit a bad check. You don't need additional authorization for a check written to you in the first place and which has not been cashed. I'm not sure if you can redeposit a bounced bounce, though. In business, redepositing a bounce is kind of routine. They can't tell you what's in an account, but they can sort of look at their crystal ball and give you a clue as to whether you should recash a check. I'm not sure if that's legal or in a gray area on the teller's part, but charging the person who GOT bounced a fee is ridiculous in the first place.

bookguy

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 9
  • Location: Illinois
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #64 on: May 13, 2017, 08:42:07 PM »
This happened on my birthday in 1984 - I had gotten out of the Navy 18 months earlier, had gotten married in December, 1983, and finally had gotten a low-paying job in a town 25 miles away. (By low-paying, I mean I was making $3.50 an hour). Anyway, I got a call from work by my (now ex-)wife, saying that her sister was in jail for shoplifting and needed $100 in bail money. Yes, I was being tapped for a loan on my birthday.  Being a newlywed and wanting to be an upright guy, I agreed, even though my weekly pay was $160. What galled me at the time was that their brother worked a very well-paying job at the time, but they wouldn't ask him. I don't know exactly why, but I have my suspicions.

Needless to say, I've never seen any dime of it back. I haven't spoken to ex-sister-in-law in at least a decade, and hope never to ever see her again.


o2bfree

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 269
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #65 on: May 14, 2017, 03:45:51 PM »
Money for booze and hookers, requested by my brother who'd run his SSI card dry mid-month. He said he did that every month, then stole stuff the rest of the month to get by. I asked him, well what about next month? What about this cycle you're asking me to support? He said blankly, "What cycle?". Er...no, just no.

bigchrisb

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1235
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #66 on: May 14, 2017, 06:33:08 PM »
In my late teens, a friend hit me up for a loan.  She had gotten behind paying a mobile phone bill, to the tune of a few hundred dollars.  Naive  me loaned her the money to help her get back on her feet (at least that was the pitch).  Habits didn't change, and no repayments were forthcoming.  I ended up getting my money back eventually, but only by relentlessly chasing the debt.   Needless to say, the friendship didn't last. 

The ironic thing - her parents were pretty well off (father is a judge).  I should have known better.

At the end of the day, it was a very good lesson for me about money and friends/relations.  Just don't do it, unless you are prepared to gift it, and not loan it.

 

frugalecon

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 595
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #67 on: May 16, 2017, 09:58:34 AM »
When I was in grad school, there was a guy who would say, "Hey, do you want to go get a smoothie?" or "Do you want to go grab lunch at the food carts?" When you got there with him, he would say, "Oh, by the way, can you loan me the money?" Fortunately his reputation spread quickly, so I knew to rebuff him.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3646
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #68 on: May 16, 2017, 01:34:17 PM »
At the end of the day, it was a very good lesson for me about money and friends/relations.  Just don't do it, unless you are prepared to gift it, and not loan it.

I remember loaning $1 for someone in middle school to buy a soda. He promised to pay me back the next day. Of course he didn't and then kept making up excuses, including saying, "My mom is sick." WTF, I let it go because it was a dollar. To me it was the principle more than anything else. Either way I learned a valuable lesson, namely that people can be real POS when it comes to their obligation and that I shouldn't expect people to follow their word or pay their obligations.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6942
  • Location: BC
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #69 on: May 16, 2017, 01:43:42 PM »
This morning --
My daughter asked me for $5 to top up the $75 she needed, as today was the last day to buy graduation dinner / dance tickets at school (no debit).   I offered to take her to the bank before school, but when I found out it was just $5 (the last $5 in my wallet), I just gave it to her.

As I was giving it to her, she asked if I had another $60 to pay back her friend who lent her money for a different ticket, about a month ago.   WTF.  I gave her a look and said "I think that would be a bad idea, don't you?  I can take you to the bank..."... 




Just Joe

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4418
  • Age: 125
  • Location: Just past the red barn on the left.
  • Here to learn.
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #70 on: May 17, 2017, 08:25:29 AM »
Money for booze and hookers, requested by my brother who'd run his SSI card dry mid-month. He said he did that every month, then stole stuff the rest of the month to get by. I asked him, well what about next month? What about this cycle you're asking me to support? He said blankly, "What cycle?". Er...no, just no.

That sounds like a promising career path - stealing stuff. Did he ever get into trouble?

frugalecon

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 595
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #71 on: May 17, 2017, 11:44:22 AM »
Money for booze and hookers, requested by my brother who'd run his SSI card dry mid-month. He said he did that every month, then stole stuff the rest of the month to get by. I asked him, well what about next month? What about this cycle you're asking me to support? He said blankly, "What cycle?". Er...no, just no.

That sounds like a promising career path - stealing stuff. Did he ever get into trouble?

I am probably a jerk, but I would be so tempted to say to this brother, "Gee, all I can spare this month is the taxes that I paid for my share of your SSI check."

Of course, I would never say this, but I would probably think it.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6942
  • Location: BC
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #72 on: May 17, 2017, 04:57:37 PM »
^^ he would not understand your meaning^^

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2368
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #73 on: May 17, 2017, 05:13:45 PM »
^^ he would not understand your meaning^^

Indeed. A person would have to be an even bigger jerk and say: "I already paid my share of your expenses through the portion of my paycheck deducted for SSI." Which, come to think of it, is the sort of thing I myself might say one day. I think I'll put that phrase in my hat next time I need to say something sarcastic to a welfare recipient.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 14508
  • Age: 62
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #74 on: May 17, 2017, 06:38:54 PM »
Money for booze and hookers, requested by my brother who'd run his SSI card dry mid-month. He said he did that every month, then stole stuff the rest of the month to get by. I asked him, well what about next month? What about this cycle you're asking me to support? He said blankly, "What cycle?". Er...no, just no.
Sorry, I know this is tough love, but if I KNEW my brother was doing that to other people month after month, I'd turn his ass in.

With This Herring

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1207
  • Location: New York STATE, not city
  • TANSTAAFL!
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #75 on: May 17, 2017, 07:55:04 PM »
I guess I have the opposite story to tell. A friend of mine who is rather poor, through no fault of his own due to a medical condition, and his wife (who is stupidly spendy) had the misfortune that her Honda actually died.

He used to be a mechanic so he had been maintaining the vehicle but alas eventually time eats even a Honda.

Now being a smart guy he actually prepared for this scenario and put away about $1000 for a downpayment on a somewhat newer Honda. But that meant that they were still missing the last $3400 for a used car.

So he goes to the bank and asks to lend $3400 and gets told that the interest would be around 12-15%. I should at this point add that they have no debt, never paid a bill late and generally are stable people. They just don't have much income.

I actually got so pissed at that bank that I called my wife instantly and said that I was going loan him $3400 interest-free if she was ok with it. Turns out she was fine with it and him and I went to get the car.

Fast forward 12 months and the debt has been repaid in full, and it was even 6 months faster than we agreed on.

And even better, the car has been stable and working fine :)

Now if you want to do him a really good turn, see if you can report the loan and timely payments to the credit bureaus to improve his credit score.

I once lent a family member a five figure sum so that they could gift a new bell to their church.  Utterly dumb in my opinion, but utterly reliable family member who quickly paid me back in full as agreed.

As the gift to the church counted as a gift to a charity, I made a tax claim on it and got back more tax than my family member would have, so some good came out of it.

You did not donate the bell money, as you were repaid; the tax deduction was not yours to take.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 14508
  • Age: 62
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #76 on: May 17, 2017, 09:57:32 PM »
I once lent a family member a five figure sum so that they could gift a new bell to their church.  Utterly dumb in my opinion, but utterly reliable family member who quickly paid me back in full as agreed.

As the gift to the church counted as a gift to a charity, I made a tax claim on it and got back more tax than my family member would have, so some good came out of it.

You did not donate the bell money, as you were repaid; the tax deduction was not yours to take.
I was thinking the same thing as you, WTH. I hope this tale happened a long time ago, or that fp's income was so high it didn't spark any notice. Over a small amount ($100?) the donation must have a letter of verification from the charity.

former player

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6093
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #77 on: May 18, 2017, 04:06:19 AM »
I once lent a family member a five figure sum so that they could gift a new bell to their church.  Utterly dumb in my opinion, but utterly reliable family member who quickly paid me back in full as agreed.

As the gift to the church counted as a gift to a charity, I made a tax claim on it and got back more tax than my family member would have, so some good came out of it.

You did not donate the bell money, as you were repaid; the tax deduction was not yours to take.
I was thinking the same thing as you, WTH. I hope this tale happened a long time ago, or that fp's income was so high it didn't spark any notice. Over a small amount ($100?) the donation must have a letter of verification from the charity.
Technically in tax terms there were two gifts (one from me to charity, fully verified, and one from family member to me) in two different tax years, and it was all done entirely correctly: I did check at the time, specifically that the arrangement with my family member was legally a gift and did not qualify as a contract.  (Also, yes, a very long time ago, way past the time for a case to be opened, and in relative terms the financial advantage was small.  But satisfying, you know, given that I started earning in the UK in the 1970s and I've lived through long periods of paying high taxes on low income and this was the first deduction I could ever claim.  So, perhaps my "not so dumb" bell?)

somers515

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 69
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #78 on: May 18, 2017, 05:04:03 AM »
I once lent a family member a five figure sum so that they could gift a new bell to their church.  Utterly dumb in my opinion, but utterly reliable family member who quickly paid me back in full as agreed.

As the gift to the church counted as a gift to a charity, I made a tax claim on it and got back more tax than my family member would have, so some good came out of it.

You did not donate the bell money, as you were repaid; the tax deduction was not yours to take.
I was thinking the same thing as you, WTH. I hope this tale happened a long time ago, or that fp's income was so high it didn't spark any notice. Over a small amount ($100?) the donation must have a letter of verification from the charity.
Technically in tax terms there were two gifts (one from me to charity, fully verified, and one from family member to me) in two different tax years, and it was all done entirely correctly: I did check at the time, specifically that the arrangement with my family member was legally a gift and did not qualify as a contract.  (Also, yes, a very long time ago, way past the time for a case to be opened, and in relative terms the financial advantage was small.  But satisfying, you know, given that I started earning in the UK in the 1970s and I've lived through long periods of paying high taxes on low income and this was the first deduction I could ever claim.  So, perhaps my "not so dumb" bell?)

"You make a gift if you give property (including money), or the use of or income from property, without expecting to receive something of at least equal value in return" - the IRS

So perhaps you aren't being clear in what you wrote but sure sounds like you were expecting to receive something of at least equal value in return.  I just wouldn't want someone reading this thread to think they could take a deduction when they can't and get jammed up.

former player

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6093
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #79 on: May 18, 2017, 05:30:53 AM »
Different rules applied, I'm not subject to the IRS.  No tax advice to anyone else was implied by my post.

BlueHouse

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3508
  • Location: WDC
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #80 on: May 20, 2017, 09:18:39 PM »
My brother worked through a series of startups that didn't pan out, so he was out of work at three successive jobs after about 18 months each. Bad spending habits meant that they were in debt to begin with and each unemployment stint just made it worse. At the third layoff, the company that just laid him off got another round of venture capital, but not enough for him. So so the company stayed in business but didn't need him anymore. One of his benefits had been to buy stock options, but open severance from the company, he only had 30 days to buy them. So with no job, a looming bankruptcy that he still didn't see coming, and back taxes unpaid, he asked me for $7000 to buy options in a company that didn't even get enough capital to keep him employed.
5 years later, I asked him how the company was doing, but I already knew. Nowhere.
My brother is really smart - like weird smart. But he doesn't make good decisions financially and when I tried to explain to him why I thought investing in this company wasn't a good idea, he thought I was making a horrible decision.

Playing with Fire UK

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3283
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #81 on: May 21, 2017, 02:28:52 AM »
My FIL asked my DH for $13k so he wouldn't lose his house to foreclosure.  DH said no.  FIL borrowed it from DH's brother, he still lost his house and he never paid a cent of it back and that was a few years ago. 

Fun, I'm living this at the moment, except they initially asked us to buy their house for them. They suggested that we could buy it from the bank for the original purchase price less all the payments they have made. It is an interest only mortgage, so not a penny has gone to repayment. They are now asking for money so that they can stay in the house. It never ends.

Freedomin5

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3483
  • Location: China
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #82 on: May 21, 2017, 04:47:17 AM »
Not a loan. I was asked by my manager to contribute a few hundred dollars for a farewell gift for a coworker who was retiring. But we're talking about dumb things, right? So what did they purchase?



A sheet of decorative stamps. With a price tag of a couple thousand dollars. That could not even be used to mail letters.

Apparently, the stamps were given at a dinner which cost each attendee another hundred dollars or so. I'm not actually sure because I ignore the email and made an excuse so I didn't have to attend the dinner.

o2bfree

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 269
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #83 on: May 21, 2017, 09:00:29 AM »
Money for booze and hookers, requested by my brother who'd run his SSI card dry mid-month. He said he did that every month, then stole stuff the rest of the month to get by. I asked him, well what about next month? What about this cycle you're asking me to support? He said blankly, "What cycle?". Er...no, just no.

That sounds like a promising career path - stealing stuff. Did he ever get into trouble?

I'm not sure, he'd been homeless for awhile and we'd lost track of him. He did get into trouble for stealing, as a teen though, among other things.

I am probably a jerk, but I would be so tempted to say to this brother, "Gee, all I can spare this month is the taxes that I paid for my share of your SSI check."

Of course, I would never say this, but I would probably think it.

I'd thought of that many times, but was so stunned when he showed up asking for money that it didn't come to mind. We hadn't seen him for a couple years, and there he was one day sleeping on our lawn when my husband came home.

o2bfree

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 269
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #84 on: May 21, 2017, 09:11:05 AM »
Money for booze and hookers, requested by my brother who'd run his SSI card dry mid-month. He said he did that every month, then stole stuff the rest of the month to get by. I asked him, well what about next month? What about this cycle you're asking me to support? He said blankly, "What cycle?". Er...no, just no.
Sorry, I know this is tough love, but if I KNEW my brother was doing that to other people month after month, I'd turn his ass in.
I'd like to turn him in, if not for that, for other things. He skipped out on a lot of bills totaling tens of thousands of dollars, and also owed rent to our parents. He has nothing and is currently living with his daughter many states away. That's probably less expensive to the taxpayers than jail. Hope it lasts.

Our folks should have done the tough love thing decades ago. But no, they kept bailing him out, giving him chance after chance.

Nangirl17

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 175
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #85 on: June 05, 2017, 09:49:38 AM »
My brother asked to borrow 1k...to fund his bankruptcy

Yup, I gave it to him, and surprisingly, he paid it back.

Key word.  You gave. 

Never lend to family or friends.  If their need is real, give without expectations.  Never be afraid to say NO.

I've loaned money 3 times in my life. Every time I consider it a gift (though I don't tell the borrower that). In fact, I frequently forget that they owe me money! 

-I loaned a coworker $600 (Whaaa? - making over 100K a year and you can't pay your bills? smh), she did pay me back.
-I loaned my BIL 3K for tuition. A couple months after the divorce he emailed me the money that I had forgotten that I gave him!
-I currently have a loan to my sister 15K for tuition. She is a super hard worker with high grades (I'm receiving her mail right now so I've seen the transcripts) and even if I never get it back, I'm glad to help her get back on her feet after her divorce.

AZDude

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1297
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #86 on: June 05, 2017, 04:51:24 PM »
When young and dumb I loaned a girl about $450 for a new mobile phone. Obviously never saw a dime. Did I learn my lesson? Hell no... because like a year later I co-signed a loan with a different girl for a new mattress, and 3 months later promptly got a call from collections because she had not payed anything.

Also had my parents ask to borrow a few hundred dollars here or there for years while living in a 2000+ sq ft house and watching HBO on their cable TV. Finally I handed them $500, said "this is it, make it count" and flatly stated it would never happen again. Our relationship has improved dramatically since that point, as I no longer cringe and avoid phone calls believing they are just going to ask for money. Now we can hang out without me becoming infuriated by their wasteful spending. I am pretty sure they ask my siblings for money sometimes, but that is their business, not mine.

Steelers1982

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 12
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #87 on: June 07, 2017, 03:41:48 PM »
A former GF drunkenly drove her car into a meridian, and ended up needing a $1000 repair she couldn't afford... Since we were together at the time, and she had no way to pay for the repairs(and needed the car to get to work)... I lent her the money.  To my surprise, after she got a DUI, thousands of lawyer fees, fines, etc later, and well after our break up... She actually paid me back the money in full.

The only loans I've ever made that have gone bad are ones I have done out of necessity... Loaned a friend/roommate a month's rent as I didn't want to search for a new roommate, and I've never been one to live with randoms.  He moved out a few months later never paying back the rent I covered.  I ended up just living in the place on my own for 6 months after this, so it wasn't really much of a loss.

Also essentially loaned my neighbour at the time $1000 so we could finish our mutual fence.  He never paid it back.  But in all fairness, I was fully prepared to never see that money, as that fence was easily worth the full cost to me as I needed it for the dog.  The dumb part on my behalf though, was when I bought all the materials, I bought the materials for his gates as well. 

tomsang

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1085
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #88 on: June 07, 2017, 05:35:33 PM »
Ok  . . I corrected the title.

Just thought of another good one.  Co-worker asked me to lend her money to replace the carpet in her house . .  that she ripped out knowing she didn't have money to replace it.  The best part is, within a couple months of asking, she took out a 401k loan to get a boob job.  Of course, she'd rather I pay for her carpet!  Needless to say, I said "No".

Did you pay for a Brazilian? 

Eric

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4061
  • Location: On my bike
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #89 on: June 07, 2017, 06:52:05 PM »
Anyone ever seen the movie A Bronx Tale?  It's a quality flick.  Robert DeNiro directed, his first (and basically only) time as a director.  You should watch it if you haven't seen it.

Anyway, there's a part in the movie where the young protagonist briefly yells at and chases someone who owes him $20.  The lesson from his mob boss mentor is that now the guy is out of his life for $20.  He never has to see or talk to him again, so it's a good deal.

https://youtu.be/I3L1Tokh3Pg?t=44s

This popped into my mind multiple times when reading multiple posts about loaning small amounts of money and not getting paid back.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1941
  • Location: Noo Zilind
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #90 on: June 08, 2017, 03:27:36 AM »
I ran into an old friend in the street not so long ago, hadn't seen him in years. I didn't actually recognise him because he'd lost so much weight. He used to be the big fat happy party boy of our extremely middle class little group. Anyhoo, turns out that he's just come out of prison for drug offences. He was very open, gone back to live with his mother, has a job etc etc, starting over. So we swapped cell numbers. That night he calls me wanting borrow $100 cash, in $5 notes....... NOPE. Haven't heard from him again.

talltexan

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4070
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #91 on: June 08, 2017, 08:01:24 AM »
Call me a contrarian, but taking out a loan to pay for a boob job could fall under the "borrow money cheaply to invest" category under the right circumstances.

Drifterrider

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1118
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Borrow Money
« Reply #92 on: June 08, 2017, 11:03:32 AM »
My alcoholic uncle who I hadn't spoken to in years once asked me to borrow $500 for bail money for his alcoholic girlfriend's daughter who was arrested for a drug offense.  I had never met GF or daughter, although another uncle had so I knew they actually existed. I lied and said I didn't have it.  Inside my head I wondered if there was any possible scenario where I would ever see a cent of that $500 again.

Never lie.  Change your answer to "I don't have it to lend".  Now you don't lie and you don't lose money.

Lookilu

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 112
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Borrow Money
« Reply #93 on: June 08, 2017, 01:21:06 PM »


Never lie.  Change your answer to "I don't have it to lend".  Now you don't lie and you don't lose money.

I can foresee where this phrase may be very useful. Thanks!

BFGirl

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 730
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #94 on: June 08, 2017, 02:14:04 PM »
I'm a really slow learner.

2004 - 22yo.  I'm in the Marine Corps Reserves and a few of us were flying back home from NC after a deployment.  We had to personally pay to for our extra bags to fly back with all our gear.  We were supposed to get reimbursed, but only up to a certain amount per person.  I loan a buddy around $200 to ship his bags back because he didn't have any $ in his bank account.  But I had to put the receipt in his name because I maxed out my allowance to ship my own gear back.  I never got paid back.

2004 or 2005 - In college.  A classmate (I went to a relatively expensive private school) was behind on his tuition payments.  I loan him around $900.  He drops out of school a few weeks later and I never hear from him again. 

2006 -  My best friend is engaged to a girl who lives in WA, half way across the country.  He wants to move there for a few months to remodel the house she just bought and asks for me to loan him about $20k to pay for materials and his living expenses.  Why on earth would someone even consider that.  He was and still is like a brother to me.  I lived rent free on his couch for about 9 months while in college.  He helped me a ton with my dad in 2005/2006 when my dad was going down a huge spiral of ruining his life with alcohol.  We spent lots of Friday and Saturday nights pulling my dad out of bars.  We fixed up my dad's house to sell to keep my dad from getting foreclosed on.  That was a ton of work.  My friend's family life was also pretty messy and I think he just wanted to get out of town and try to build a productive relationship with this girl.  He and the girl ended up breaking up within a year though.  He actually made decent efforts to pay me back for a couple years but he had a lot of family problems.  Two of his siblings had addiction problems and all the associated legal/financial problems that ensue.  He helped them both with treatment programs.  He was the stable person in the entire family.  After several years I just told him to forget about paying me the rest back.  In total I ended up getting about $12k back from him.

I will never loan $ again.  I might give some $ to a close relative in the right situation, but never a loan.

I've been an even bigger sucker than this, but all told before I wised up, I've probably lost $20K to "loans" to friends.  Anything for family, I've considered a gift and that has been only once.

alewpanda

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 318
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #95 on: June 08, 2017, 05:00:58 PM »
I co-signed a loan for needed dental work for a 'friend'.  Ended up paying collections a settlement 6 months later and having to explain the poor choice to multiple lenders in the years to follow....dumb, dumb, dumb

"Lent" the needed money for a plane ticket and a deposit for a cheap apartment so that my brother in law could get a professional job and move his wife and daughter from several states away.  We paid for the ticket directly, and handed him cash for the rest.  I don't regret it (we knew there was a possibility that we wouldn't see the money), but we only got about 300ish dollars out of that 900 or so we lent.....hasn't been mentioned in about a year now.  We have let it go. 

nouveauRiche

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 378
  • Location: HCOL - USA
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #96 on: June 08, 2017, 05:43:35 PM »
Anyone ever seen the movie A Bronx Tale?  It's a quality flick.  Robert DeNiro directed, his first (and basically only) time as a director.  You should watch it if you haven't seen it.

Anyway, there's a part in the movie where the young protagonist briefly yells at and chases someone who owes him $20.  The lesson from his mob boss mentor is that now the guy is out of his life for $20.  He never has to see or talk to him again, so it's a good deal.

https://youtu.be/I3L1Tokh3Pg?t=44s

This popped into my mind multiple times when reading multiple posts about loaning small amounts of money and not getting paid back.


Exactly!  If you loan someone $20 and never see him again, it was worth it.


Miss Piggy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1372
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Lend Money
« Reply #97 on: June 10, 2017, 04:02:37 PM »
I have a happier story than most...well, happy in some ways.

Some relatives fell into very hard times financially, through no fault of their own (other than perhaps some naivete, but the thief is in prison now). They were VERY stressed about some large bills that were coming due. These are good people who are very frugal and have done a lot for us (just not financially), so we didn't hesitate to gift them $10,000. They were in tears when they saw the check from us. They refused to accept it as a gift, but they did accept it as a loan. I didn't keep track of amounts (because in my mind, this was still a gift), but over the next year or so, they gave us checks in varying thousands of dollars, so I assume they paid us back every penny. Pride simply wouldn't let them do otherwise.

BTDretire

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3077
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Borrow Money
« Reply #98 on: June 14, 2017, 06:59:23 AM »
Wow, I'm really surprised by these stories.  I'm interested to hear more, although I don't have anything juicy.

The only time I can recall ever being asked to lend someone money was about 1.5 yrs ago.  A former coworker, who I hadn't spoken to in 5+ years, contacts me on Facebook to ask if I can loan him $50 so he can buy work clothes for a new job he's starting.  It really seems like he's trying to turn his life around.  I respect his former GF, who has two of his kids, and don't mind taking a chance to put him in a position to make her life a bit easier.

Well, I gave him the $50, and heard back from him several times over the next couple of days, as he said he would have the money to pay me back after a few shifts (it was a restaurant server job).  Then he stopped responding.  Every few months I send him a message asking if he's got the $50 yet.  I think I'll send another one today.
It might be fun posting his original request on Facebook and then ask his Facebook friends to
 gode him into paying the money that you lent him in good faith.
 If your lucky you will be un-friended!

Vindicated

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1114
  • Age: 36
  • Location: Indianapolis
Re: Dumbest Thing For Which You've Been Asked to Borrow Money
« Reply #99 on: June 14, 2017, 07:19:49 AM »
Wow, I'm really surprised by these stories.  I'm interested to hear more, although I don't have anything juicy.

The only time I can recall ever being asked to lend someone money was about 1.5 yrs ago.  A former coworker, who I hadn't spoken to in 5+ years, contacts me on Facebook to ask if I can loan him $50 so he can buy work clothes for a new job he's starting.  It really seems like he's trying to turn his life around.  I respect his former GF, who has two of his kids, and don't mind taking a chance to put him in a position to make her life a bit easier.

Well, I gave him the $50, and heard back from him several times over the next couple of days, as he said he would have the money to pay me back after a few shifts (it was a restaurant server job).  Then he stopped responding.  Every few months I send him a message asking if he's got the $50 yet.  I think I'll send another one today.
It might be fun posting his original request on Facebook and then ask his Facebook friends to
 gode him into paying the money that you lent him in good faith.
 If your lucky you will be un-friended!

Nah.  As others have mentioned, I'm fine with paying $50 for him to not contact me again.  However, if he does contact me, hopefully it's about paying me back :)