Author Topic: Crowdfunding IVF  (Read 9820 times)

cheapass

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Re: Crowdfunding IVF
« Reply #50 on: December 14, 2016, 01:55:57 PM »
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Crowdfunding because you spent all your money on shit you can't afford and now you don't have any money to pay for the "unexpected" expense is an entirely different animal. Have some f-ing foresight, people.

When the "unexpected" expense is a car repair, replacing the roof, or a temporary job loss, then I agree with you that there should be money sitting around for those situations. However when two young, healthy people are told "sorry, but you can't seem to have kids on your own, your choices are IVF for $25K+, surrogacy for $40K+, or whatever" that just doesn't fall into the realm of reasonable, expected expenses.

Agreed, there are some categorical differences but I hope these people are tightening the belt before begging for money. I wouldn't be buying a damn thing and would probably be selling assets to cover the cost of whatever it is.

This one hits a nerve because we had some acquaintances who started a gofundme to support her unpaid maternity leave. Of course they just finished blowing a bunch of money on a home reno, and go out to eat daily, and buy the latest designer this-and-that, and are just generally idiots with money. When you donate to people like this who are asking for a handout, you're not financing their maternity leave or their IVF - you're financing their shitty choices in the rest of life.

Just Joe

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Re: Crowdfunding IVF
« Reply #51 on: December 14, 2016, 03:15:18 PM »
Would it be weird to be the kid whose IVF conception was crowdfunded?

Something about being raised by a village goes here....

Paul der Krake

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Re: Crowdfunding IVF
« Reply #52 on: December 14, 2016, 03:22:07 PM »
Something something stakeholders demanding results. It would be awkward if the free ones worked better than the pricey product.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Crowdfunding IVF
« Reply #53 on: December 14, 2016, 04:21:16 PM »
Quote
Crowdfunding because you spent all your money on shit you can't afford and now you don't have any money to pay for the "unexpected" expense is an entirely different animal. Have some f-ing foresight, people.

When the "unexpected" expense is a car repair, replacing the roof, or a temporary job loss, then I agree with you that there should be money sitting around for those situations. However when two young, healthy people are told "sorry, but you can't seem to have kids on your own, your choices are IVF for $25K+, surrogacy for $40K+, or whatever" that just doesn't fall into the realm of reasonable, expected expenses.

Agreed, there are some categorical differences but I hope these people are tightening the belt before begging for money. I wouldn't be buying a damn thing and would probably be selling assets to cover the cost of whatever it is.

This one hits a nerve because we had some acquaintances who started a gofundme to support her unpaid maternity leave. Of course they just finished blowing a bunch of money on a home reno, and go out to eat daily, and buy the latest designer this-and-that, and are just generally idiots with money. When you donate to people like this who are asking for a handout, you're not financing their maternity leave or their IVF - you're financing their shitty choices in the rest of life.

It's in the same category as paying the electric bill for an alcoholic.

Daleth

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Re: Crowdfunding IVF
« Reply #54 on: December 14, 2016, 04:49:54 PM »
Would it be weird to be the kid whose IVF conception was crowdfunded?

Weird in the sense that you would know how dearly your parents wanted you to be born, and how many of their friends and relatives also wanted you to come into the world and thought your folks would be good parents?

That's a great kind of weird.

Daleth

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Re: Crowdfunding IVF
« Reply #55 on: December 14, 2016, 04:51:53 PM »
Quote
Crowdfunding because you spent all your money on shit you can't afford and now you don't have any money to pay for the "unexpected" expense is an entirely different animal. Have some f-ing foresight, people.

When the "unexpected" expense is a car repair, replacing the roof, or a temporary job loss, then I agree with you that there should be money sitting around for those situations. However when two young, healthy people are told "sorry, but you can't seem to have kids on your own, your choices are IVF for $25K+, surrogacy for $40K+, or whatever" that just doesn't fall into the realm of reasonable, expected expenses.

Ditto. And FYI, once you add up all the costs (the surrogate, the meds, the IVF, the lawyers, the special health insurance policy for the surrogate [normal health insurance often won't cover surrogate pregnancies], the travel costs [many US states have unclear or anti-surrogacy laws so you have to go to a good state], etc.), surrogacy in the US tends to cost on the order of $100k.

Also, most younger people are "saving" in the sense that they're contributing to their 401k and socking money away in an emergency fund, and maybe also in a downpayment-for-a-house fund. If the latter, most people would use that for IVF. But it would be stupid to fund IVF by withdrawing money from your 401k, taking a tax hit and 10% penalty AND costing yourself tons of money in retirement (the $20k you take out, plus penalty and taxes, would be worth way more in retirement). And it would be at least as stupid to use up your emergency fund on IVF--what if you suddenly lose your job?

I really think it's absurd to expect normal people (non-trust fund kids) in their 20s and 30s to make healthy contributions to a 401k, and have a six-month emergency fund, AND have an extra $20k+ just lying around in case they need IVF.

I hope these people are tightening the belt before begging for money. I wouldn't be buying a damn thing and would probably be selling assets to cover the cost of whatever it is.... This one hits a nerve.... When you donate to people like this who are asking for a handout, you're not financing their maternity leave or their IVF - you're financing their shitty choices in the rest of life.

But isn't that true no matter what they're crowdfunding? If they're not doing the work on their end to save what money they can, it feels like they're freeloading. But that has nothing to do with WHAT they're crowdfunding for. I understand judging freeloaders, but not judging people just because what they're crowdfunding is IVF, when as far as you know aren't freeloaders? That makes no sense.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2016, 04:59:10 PM by Daleth »