I find something more shameful. I was considering pardoning them a bit because it seems like they spent a good chunk of change on their autistic son, but then I noticed that after being laid off the guy decided to "retire early" but decided to collect unemployment. That sounds like unethically not looking for work but pretending like you are to collect benefits meant to help people transition between jobs It's not there to milk it until the benefits run dry, kinda like what you did with your autistic son, moving him out of Arizona to Oregon once Arizona said your son (who apparently can drive and handle a phone) is no longer able to collect benefits.
Sooooooo here's your facepunch -- your annual income before your husband was laid off was $75k, but after 30 friggin years of work you only had $20k in retirement savings BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU?!? So you averaged what? $15 a month each? It must have been brutal brown bagging it 1 day every other week to scrape together that kind of dough, but I'm glad you sacrificed so hard for your older selves. Ironically you can save faster on no income ($1k expected emergency fund in 1 year = $83/month) than you could while working ($20k in 30 years = $55/month disregarding investment returns). Kuddos that after "budgeting for 30 years" you're finally able to (sorta) figure it out!