Oh wow - I would see spending that much money on useless crap as solid grounds to end a relationship. Close to $7000 in ONE YEAR for courtship?
I'm conflicted.
Last year I, my spouse, and our daughter attended the wedding of my cousin. He and his bride paid for the whole thing on their own. It was only the second wedding that my spouse and I have been invited to in over 20 years, and it may be the last. (I'll have to check with my daughter. Maybe one more.)
That
wedding reception, to put it politely, was the most legendary epically gnarly blowout party that I've ever seen. It rivaled the extravagance of a 1980s wedding we attended at the Pebble Beach 19th Hole, but last year's won out on the basis of more fun for fewer dollars. It had everything you look for in a wedding: conveniently held in a major city's luxury hotel with plenty of extra rooms to rent for impromptu whatever, open bar, guests drinking during the ceremony (let alone the reception), exotic ethnic liquor smuggled in women's purses, a fantastic classic rock playlist (chosen by the father of the bride), a room full of gorgeous women, our daughter casually fending off a crowd of interested servicemembers, dancing until 2 AM, afterparties up and down the street at other bars, a visit by the police after the regrettable incident of the women starting a bar fight. I'm surprised that the photos didn't end up on TMZ or The Smoking Gun. The hotel staff even screwed up my reservation, so their apology to my family consisted of the Presidential Suite (over 1400 sq ft of ridiculous excess). It was the most fun I've had at a wedding since my own. Even the breakfast next morning was hilarious, and I'm sure a few of the
Army Rangers guests barely had enough time to
sober up shower and change clothes from the reception. We'll be talking about that weekend for three decades.
Having said that, I'm glad I wasn't a part of the official proceedings. The bride drove herself nuts over the family diplomatic issues and a couple of the guests really need to check into an inpatient 12-step program. The whole affair was at the complete opposite end of the financial, emotional, and logistical bell curve from my own wedding 26 years ago. I'd never be comfortable spending so much money on my own at that age, although it'll be interesting to see what our daughter proposes to do with her money someday.
My conflict? I certainly had a lot of fun on someone else's dollar, and I can appreciate the memories that the bride & groom will carry for the rest of their lives. I think they got far more value out of their dollars spent at this wedding than many people get out of their entire marriages. Our daughter certainly had an incredibly educational evening in ways that I probably don't even want to know about. Now when my spouse and I tell our sea stories to our daughter, we can make the comparison to that wedding.
I guess the trick is to spend your own money in a way that brings value to you.