The Money Mustache Community
Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: AliInKY on January 05, 2015, 10:47:18 AM
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This...is ridiculous. And laughable. Pile on, everyone!
http://money.cnn.com/gallery/pf/2014/08/18/children-costs/index.html?iid=SF_PF_River
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There is a lot of victim mentality going on there (especially the video game tab). Maybe I am lucky but when I have the occasional urge to play a video game I can rent pretty much any PS3 game I want at the local library for $4 per week. Even Redbox video games are only $2 per day. If the kid is beating them that fast they should only have to rent the game for a few days at a time...
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I can see some of that. It would be pretty miserable as a child to turn down every birthday party and play date because you can't afford ice skate rental or whatever.
My first is due this month. Haven't decided how best to deal with this stuff, but I'm pretty sure pricey video games and birthday parties are off the menu.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
Birthdays? Go fuck yourself. My parents were awesome; I got birthday gifts till I turned 11. After that: you're old enough to save up and buy your own.
Video games? Double go fuck yourself. If everyone has a phone, a tablet, and a laptop... the last thing you need is to spend money on a video game system and games. Even with any one of those three, you can get good games for free. When I was younger, though, video games were a large reason to start programming - it used to take some skill to play them, and of course, if one wanted to cheat to automate them... :) but it's easy to get addicted and become a stereotypical neckbeard living in the basement, eating hot pockets and mountain dew, playing wow or lol or whatever all day fucking long instead of trying to get laid or doing schoolwork. Way too easy.
Spending money? Eh. Depends on what you can afford. $60/month is certainly more than I got but is not the most outrageous sum I've heard. Compromise and pay your kid for doing chores that would otherwise be far more expensive. Cleaning the entire house, mowing the lawn and landscaping and taking care of scrap, putting out the garbage and bringing it in, cleaning the garage, washing and waxing the car, cooking... fixing those little things that need fixing but aren't dangerous (rattling knobs, paint touch-ups, sanding something down, replacing bulbs, whatever.) Pay for that, if you can afford it. Sounds like a lot of work but for, say, a hunnert a month, I would have been all over that as a kid. Cheaper than replacing things with small defects. Cheaper than hiring someone to do pretty much anything. Plus, as they grow older, they can do harder things; I remember replacing all the electrical sockets in my parents' house - an electrician quoted something like $75/per, but it's super easy to do yourself. I'm actually sympathetic to this, even though I got a lot less as a kid.
Sports etc? If you can afford it, sure. And as long as it's for the right reasons. The wrong reason is "Because I always wanted to do x" or "it looks good on a college application." For fun, health, strength, passion, discipline, and becoming a better person, go for whatever can be afforded.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
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Clearly that family should feel shame at having to ask to borrow movies, and read books instead of buying the latest gadgets.
I mean, you can't just not have the latest gadgets!
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation). I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous. My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods.
This article was absolutely ridiculous. Video games? Seriously?
What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation). I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous. My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods.
This article was absolutely ridiculous. Video games? Seriously?
What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp for their 7 year old daughter. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.
How much would you pay to have your kids out of the house?
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation). I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous. My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods.
This article was absolutely ridiculous. Video games? Seriously?
What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp for their 7 year old daughter. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.
How much would you pay to have your kids out of the house?
But...that's for just one week. I don't have kids, but I'm guessing $250 would be worth it for a weeks worth of no drama at home?
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A one week drama camp would be my family over Christmas break.
"...thousands of dollars for her own children's festivities..." - cakes cost $20 if you buy them, $5 if you make them. Also, kids don't need presents every time they turn a year older, especially not expensive ones.
"I hate the 'mom-guilt' I feel when I put a limit on the number and frequency of activities we do," she said. - it's called being a parent. I'm sure she also complains how much time the kids have to study, as if education leads nowhere.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation). I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous. My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods.
This article was absolutely ridiculous. Video games? Seriously?
What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.
My mom spent about $200/week for day camp when I was a kid. She was a working mom and that is the camp that worked for her. Not everyone has a stay at home spouse.
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With school officials encouraging parents to invite either all (or none) of their child's classmates to birthday parties, Sellinger said she fields at least 50 invitations a year for her 13-year-old son and 9- and 11-year-old daughters.
Excuse my language but fuuuuuuuuckkkk this...
The whole mentality of everyone is a winner, everyone gets a trophy, my kid better be included blah blah blah.
No I'll invite/my son will invite, whomever he wants. I've always been a nice person, but sorry, there were people in my classroom who were not part of my group. We make friends with people who we feel comfortable with, not everyone. Stop trying to micromanage a students personal life.
Man if I ever got a "it's the whole class or none" bullshit line, I would flip my shit...
So far in my children's lives this is a misinterpretation of the policy- Don't hand out invites at school unless you are inviting the class. Some teachers will slip them into homework folders but you are better off inviting outside of class.
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I love that $200/mo additional groceries due to allergies REQUIRES "driving older cars, borrowing movies from the library for free and nixing purchases of the latest gadgets."
This poor family must "sacrifice" to "borrow" from the library - oh god - "for free!" This story makes me angry b/c it is posing as an interest piece while prescribing a state of "normal" that turns a profit. The "news" source, CNN, is owned by Turner Broadcasting which is owned by Time Warner Cable, which also happens to provide movies (NOT for free). By presenting the norm as BUYING movies, and BORROWING as a sacrifice, this "article" is thinly veiled advertising.
Yay for news...
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Yeah, I don't think these parents have really thought about how expensive things could be, but have they ever considered saying NO? No costs nothing and can lead to looking at something else that may be lower cost or free. Don't only poor people use things like the library that are free? and plus once they read that book they don't get to keep it, it has to go back to the library. And imagine sending your kids out in the neighborhood to play outside, yikes, they'd have to arrange that street hockey/baseball/soccer game themselves, and maybe they won't have enough players for a proper team or be able to measure where the nets should be, that would be devastating. Seriously? I have 2 that love sports, but don't play on a league for all of them that they love, they play them with their friends, outside.
What would they do if they were in an accident or one of them had a medical condition requiring ongoing medical care? Then they would find out how expensive kids can be! I have 2 children with unrelated, not hereditary, rare illnesses. I'm in Canada and health care is free, but I don't even want to look at my December budget since we had to make 2 unexpected trips to the childrens hospital, a 5 hour drive away, and we have an appointment on the 8th of January up there.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
This one kills me. I went to a party the other day and we were eating seafood. You weren't allowed to touch the kids until you had soaped your arms because they are allergic to it.
This was unheard of when I was a kid and its also unheard of with my kids. Have kids changed ? There is something funny going on.
I will state that we just bought a MacBook Air with software for $1000 for my daughter to attend her free schooling (she is 13). The funny thing is the specifications that the school provided made this computer the cheapest option. We also bought her a phone but its a piece of crap and she has to pay for her calls. We give her $20 per fortnight to spend. Over the next 2 years we have to spend $5000 on braces. So it is expensive to have kids. In stating that we definitely don't overdo it.
I'll add on games we have a PS3 that my 11 yo son uses. He was so upset that we weren't going to upgrade to a PS4. He plays soccer. They both have had heaps of swimming lessons. My 4 yo is also at day care which costs a fortune.
So kids are expensive however no one needs the latest gadgets or top line gadgets. We don't spend money on holidays or eating out or going out to see a movie. Lots of his friends though do all of that stuff. One family close to ours sends their kids to expensive schools, go on OS holidays, have heaps of gadgets and the latest ones and my impression is that they don't earn as much as what we do.
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I am not a doctor, nor trained in medicine. I do however suspect that it's the hygiene hypothesis. If your kid has nothing for his immune system to fight - dust, dirt, shit, animals, the great outdoors, sick friends - the immune system starts to fight other things. Namely food.
As you might imagine, modern science is maddeningly undecided on the subject of things like peanut allergies.
Various studies had suggested that early exposure to peanut protein by infants with allergic tendencies could sensitize them and lead to a serious peanut allergy. In 2000, pregnant and nursing women were advised to avoid eating peanuts, especially if allergies ran in the family. And new mothers were told not to give babies peanuts before age 3, when digestive systems are more fully developed.
But this advice did nothing to curb the steady climb in peanut allergies, and it was abandoned in 2008.
Today, the thinking is exactly the opposite. Instead of restricting exposure to peanut protein by unborn or nursing babies, the tiny amounts that may enter the baby’s circulation when a pregnant or nursing woman eats peanuts might actually induce tolerance, not sensitization.
But that's a subject for another day.
Out of curiosity, how did the macbook air turn out to be the cheapest option? I am selfishly glad you bought it, but very curious how it was the cheapest.
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With school officials encouraging parents to invite either all (or none) of their child's classmates to birthday parties, Sellinger said she fields at least 50 invitations a year for her 13-year-old son and 9- and 11-year-old daughters.
Excuse my language but fuuuuuuuuckkkk this...
The whole mentality of everyone is a winner, everyone gets a trophy, my kid better be included blah blah blah.
No I'll invite/my son will invite, whomever he wants. I've always been a nice person, but sorry, there were people in my classroom who were not part of my group. We make friends with people who we feel comfortable with, not everyone. Stop trying to micromanage a students personal life.
Man if I ever got a "it's the whole class or none" bullshit line, I would flip my shit...
I was just coming here to post this. What the fuck?
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When I was a kid, that was the rule too: if you want to pass out invites in class, everyone or noone gets them. Otherwise, invite people outside of class. This isn't really a burden, to be honest, though it is whiney crybaby bullshit.
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I also found this handy calculator:
http://money.cnn.com/interactive/pf/cost-of-children/
"How much will it cost to raise your child?"
I got 231k, over 18 years (real $). What am I buying this kid? Gold jewelry every year?
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
This one kills me. I went to a party the other day and we were eating seafood. You weren't allowed to touch the kids until you had soaped your arms because they are allergic to it.
And when it's not food allergies, it's ADHD, or a hormonal problem that makes people fat, or a vitamin deficiency, or high stress, or something that's definitely a disease that just happens to be 1000% more prevalent in Americans than the rest of the world. Urgh.
Meanwhile, the French and the Italians have eaten unpasteurized warm cheese for a few millenia and have virtually none of those so called problems.
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I was a nurse in 3 different dementia wards for a couple of years. Not one single food allergy. These lovely folks ranged in ages 70s to 100.
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That calculator is insane. If you earn more, it means it costs more to raise your kid. That's interesting. What's more interesting is that I am absolutely sure that it is based on fairly accurate statistics - maybe not the actual numbers, but that those who have more spend more on kids.
An interesting conundrum. Certainly we want the best for our kids. Some things are probably factors of working a lot to earn the higher salary - both parents highly-paid professionals, now you're paying for daycare, babysitting, nanny, cleaning, I dunno; not necessarily the case but easy to see. A lot of expenses are things we don't need - shiny toys. Others are things we don't need - experiences; here it gets fuzzy for me; where do you draw the line and how do you justify these things? Still others are advantages we can give... better education, activities with a secondary purpose of opening doors or improving the human. Hard choices.
The thing that surprises me most is that the cutoff is 18. It seems to me that for many people, the biggest expenses are 18-22: college. If you don't really try too hard or spend too much extra, clothes-food-shelter-extra is very little, per year, between kindergarten and high school graduation compared to a single semester of out-of-pocket university costs (even after aid and loans.)
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That calculator is insane. If you earn more, it means it costs more to raise your kid. That's interesting. What's more interesting is that I am absolutely sure that it is based on fairly accurate statistics - maybe not the actual numbers, but that those who have more spend more on kids.
An interesting conundrum. Certainly we want the best for our kids. Some things are probably factors of working a lot to earn the higher salary - both parents highly-paid professionals, now you're paying for daycare, babysitting, nanny, cleaning, I dunno; not necessarily the case but easy to see. A lot of expenses are things we don't need - shiny toys. Others are things we don't need - experiences; here it gets fuzzy for me; where do you draw the line and how do you justify these things? Still others are advantages we can give... better education, activities with a secondary purpose of opening doors or improving the human. Hard choices.
The thing that surprises me most is that the cutoff is 18. It seems to me that for many people, the biggest expenses are 18-22: college. If you don't really try too hard or spend too much extra, clothes-food-shelter-extra is very little, per year, between kindergarten and high school graduation compared to a single semester of out-of-pocket university costs (even after aid and loans.)
My high school cost more per year, not counting the required "extras" than any year of college. In addition, the increase was higher than college cost increases.
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I love that $200/mo additional groceries due to allergies REQUIRES "driving older cars, borrowing movies from the library for free and nixing purchases of the latest gadgets."
This poor family must "sacrifice" to "borrow" from the library - oh god - "for free!" This story makes me angry b/c it is posing as an interest piece while prescribing a state of "normal" that turns a profit. The "news" source, CNN, is owned by Turner Broadcasting which is owned by Time Warner Cable, which also happens to provide movies (NOT for free). By presenting the norm as BUYING movies, and BORROWING as a sacrifice, this "article" is thinly veiled advertising.
Yay for news...
Yes, I can see this! It reminds me a bit of my SO saying tonight how depressing it was to have so many useless stores in our neighborhood. Cheap crap, delis, pawn shops, phone stores, baseball cap stores (yes, stores that just sell baseball caps), etc. Maybe this is seeing the past through rose-colored glasses but I think there would have just been fewer stores in the past and it would have been more of a residential area. What changed is that everyone started spending a fuckton more money so now these pointless stores are economically viable.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
This one kills me. I went to a party the other day and we were eating seafood. You weren't allowed to touch the kids until you had soaped your arms because they are allergic to it.
And when it's not food allergies, it's ADHD, or a hormonal problem that makes people fat, or a vitamin deficiency, or high stress, or something that's definitely a disease that just happens to be 1000% more prevalent in Americans than the rest of the world. Urgh.
Meanwhile, the French and the Italians have eaten unpasteurized warm cheese for a few millenia and have virtually none of those so called problems.
I think it's just dealt with differently today, it almost feels like a "I'm/my kid is special and you need to make allowances". I'm 45 and when I was a kid I had asthma and a ridiculous number of allergies, peanuts, chocolate, eggs, tomatoes, bee stings, pollen. But, no one made any allowances for me and I just didn't eat those things. My sister used to love to torture me with Reese's cups on Easter/Halloween. By the time I was a teen I had outgrown all except asthma and allergies to chocolate and bee stings. I also have a very real issue with not being able to absorb B12, it runs in my family and I have to get shots a couple times a year. I remember my grandmother giving herself B12 shots in the 70s so I believe my doctor when she says I need to have the shots to keep my B12 levels stable.
But allergies and sensitivities are blown way out of proportion nowadays, although a small number may have truly serious allergies, those are the very, very, very few. I still remember the kid that came over to our house with an epi-pen for a peanut allergy and had to have a peanut free table at school as well peanut free classroom snacks to the point of asking me what box mix I used for brownies (umm none) since some brands have trace peanuts. The mom admitted a couple years later that she wasn't sure if the kid was ever allergic, just wanted to be safe since another kid was allergic. But on the other hand, yum to unpasteurized cheese.
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But allergies and sensitivities are blown way out of proportion nowadays, although a small number may have truly serious allergies, those are the very, very, very few. I still remember the kid that came over to our house with an epi-pen for a peanut allergy and had to have a peanut free table at school as well peanut free classroom snacks to the point of asking me what box mix I used for brownies (umm none) since some brands have trace peanuts. The mom admitted a couple years later that she wasn't sure if the kid was ever allergic, just wanted to be safe since another kid was allergic. But on the other hand, yum to unpasteurized cheese.
I have asthma, eczema & get dandruff all the time. I get really bad hayfever at least once per year. If I eat some crappy food I get massive stomach cramps. All of these things are allergy related and everyone of them is not really that big a deal with modern day medicine and a little common sense. I'm freaken allergic and so are my kids. None of them get any sort of special diet and although my 2 boys have to take asthma and nasal allergy medicine they eat all sorts of food.
I think trivial little allergic reactions or possible allergic reactions get blown out of all proportion. People need to harden up.
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I have asthma, eczema & get dandruff all the time. I get really bad hayfever at least once per year. If I eat some crappy food I get massive stomach cramps. All of these things are allergy related and everyone of them is not really that big a deal with modern day medicine and a little common sense. I'm freaken allergic and so are my kids. None of them get any sort of special diet and although my 2 boys have to take asthma and nasal allergy medicine they eat all sorts of food.
I think trivial little allergic reactions or possible allergic reactions get blown out of all proportion. People need to harden up.
In general I think you're right but asthma is different. It can be life-threatening for someone with a serious version of it. "Hardening up" really doesn't cut it if exposure to the allergen leads one to an extended stay in a hospital. (Thus, one should not smoke in front of children with serious asthma and tell them to "man up". It's just wrong.)
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Interesting story. A friend of mine could swim two laps (50 yards) under water. He set school records for fastest backstroke. Great teammate for water polo. Turns out he has asthma. I asked him what an asthma attack was like and if he got ever them. He said something like "once in a while during practice; I usually notice once the play stops or I get to the wall." When he was a kid, it was like having to breathe through a straw when your heart beats at 200 bpm... now it's a mild inconvenience at most. Owns an inhaler just in case but hasn't used it in years. Turns out asthma is one of those things you might overcome by being very fit and exercising in a way that grows and improves your lungs. Similarly, a thing that is made much worse by being unfit, especially overweight.
Boy did this thread go off topic.
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When I was a kid, that was the rule too: if you want to pass out invites in class, everyone or noone gets them. Otherwise, invite people outside of class. This isn't really a burden, to be honest, though it is whiney crybaby bullshit.
Freely accept that I'm the odd one, but I'm uncomfortable in groups, even of my friends. I haven't had a real birthday party since middle school, and I was miserable at that one too.
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Interesting story. A friend of mine could swim two laps (50 yards) under water. He set school records for fastest backstroke. Great teammate for water polo. Turns out he has asthma. I asked him what an asthma attack was like and if he got ever them. He said something like "once in a while during practice; I usually notice once the play stops or I get to the wall." When he was a kid, it was like having to breathe through a straw when your heart beats at 200 bpm... now it's a mild inconvenience at most. Owns an inhaler just in case but hasn't used it in years. Turns out asthma is one of those things you might overcome by being very fit and exercising in a way that grows and improves your lungs. Similarly, a thing that is made much worse by being unfit, especially overweight.
Boy did this thread go off topic.
I think a lot of people just grow out of asthma as they get older, even if they're not super fit.
I had terrible bronchitis when I was a baby and up until about 3 or 4, I had one of those nebulizer things and had to use it twice a day to get medicine into my lungs so I could breathe normally. Now I only need an inhaler if I have a wicked chest cold (and honestly even then I only use it because it clears it up faster, I can still breathe okay if I don't use it) or try to go running if it's really really cold or really really humid. And I am definitely in the unfit category right now, lol.
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All those things are expensive if you don't know how to say no.
My 8 year old isn't into sports, and I was recently asked when I was going to "let him" play a sport. Let him? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not heartbroken that we aren't on 3 soccer teams, including traveling soccer. I'm happy to pay $40 a month every other month for swim lessons (we waited too long to sign up this month).
The birthday parties kill me. KILL ME. Year 1: no party. Years 2-7, parties, and it's almost impossible to have one for under $250. Parties at the bowling alley, the YMCA, the park, whatever. And then you get invited to all the OTHER parties. Year 8 we did a sleepover with a few boys and it was crazy but I LOVED it.
My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA. That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags". Ugh. You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
But I pretty much refuse to participate. If he wants to do it, fine, I don't have the energy to fight it really. But I will not make the reservations, order the food, or buy stuff for gift bags. I'll show up, sure, smile and be social.
I don't understand why we even need a party. Can't we just invite the neighbors over for cake?
My 2 year old? No parties yes. He's been invited to parties, but we haven't thrown one yet. And won't this year either (3rd birthday). Will be visiting family.
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That calculator is insane. If you earn more, it means it costs more to raise your kid. That's interesting. What's more interesting is that I am absolutely sure that it is based on fairly accurate statistics - maybe not the actual numbers, but that those who have more spend more on kids.
An interesting conundrum. Certainly we want the best for our kids. Some things are probably factors of working a lot to earn the higher salary - both parents highly-paid professionals, now you're paying for daycare, babysitting, nanny, cleaning, I dunno; not necessarily the case but easy to see. A lot of expenses are things we don't need - shiny toys. Others are things we don't need - experiences; here it gets fuzzy for me; where do you draw the line and how do you justify these things? Still others are advantages we can give... better education, activities with a secondary purpose of opening doors or improving the human. Hard choices.
The thing that surprises me most is that the cutoff is 18. It seems to me that for many people, the biggest expenses are 18-22: college. If you don't really try too hard or spend too much extra, clothes-food-shelter-extra is very little, per year, between kindergarten and high school graduation compared to a single semester of out-of-pocket university costs (even after aid and loans.)
There are a lot of ways to describe this phenomenon, but "keeping up with the Joneses" still works. People with more money spend more on everything because their neighbors and friends do. Not because it necessarily makes life better or makes them happier... they just assume it's the way to go, and eventually it becomes a "need" through conditioning.
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I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation). I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous. My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods.
I read the list and I just laughed my ass off. I realize bread, milk, and cheese are considered staples by many people, but they're not exceptionally healthy to begin with, and paying twice as much for the replacements is just fucking retarded. How about falling back on meat, vegetables, and fresh fruit? A little stir-fry over rice with fruit salad for dessert never killed anyone.
It sounds like they took their kid's allergy as an excuse to move up the processed luxury food scale instead of down it, those dummies. But hey, at least it's got them driving older cars. As we say in the South... bless their hearts. *snickers*
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A friend of ours is an ocd neat freak, to the point that she should buy stock in Clorox. She wipes EVERYTHING down with disinfectant wipes, all the time. Her kids are living in a cocoon of cleanliness and lack of immune building essentials, to the point that if they ever flight out of country and are exposed to something stronger than the normal here I fear for their lives.
She posts her cleaning rituals on FB, usually a 3-4 hour schedule on Saturdays and a 1/2 hour "quick wipe"(as she call it) every day before and after work. WTF.??
Let your kids eat dirt, worms, etc. let them touch anything and everything. How do you think they'll be able to build a strong system???
I get this vibe too from my older sister who has 3 kids. She cleans the house - vacuums, disinfects everything, cleans towels after one use, etc - every single day. The first kid already has peanut allergies and an Epipen. The second has had severe stomach problems. The third is too young to tell what's going to happen. I just don't know. Then again, anecdotal stories.
All I know is when I have my own kids you bet I'll be cleaning the pacifier in my own mouth and giving it to my kid right after. Or feeding them with my own spoon.
Also, as a devout fan of Nintendo, the video game tab made me sick to my stomach. Beating games too fast and expecting more? WHAT? I played and still play about 1-2 games PER YEAR and that's plenty. We're talking about video games for holiday season only, folks.
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Okay - These examples are over the top to be sure...but they do bring some attention to some costs that I never thought about before I had my own kids...such as birthday party gifts! It adds up even if it is just a handful per year. As for the video games...that is just absurd...and the 250$ camp is pretty standard. But since this is almost the same as daycare costs for a child in many places, I don't think it is that big a deal. The sports fees are expensive, but you just have to learn to pick and choose. Follow your kids passions. And if you are in Canada - Kids sports fees are a tax deduction :) My son loves hockey and it is expensive...but that is all he does. If he stops loving hockey, he can chose something else. All things in moderation and moderation in all things..
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I always stock up on birthday gifts when I find a sale and pull those out whenever there is a party my girls want to attend. I usually don't spend more than $5.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.
We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.
This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.
We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.
This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.
Actual celiac disease can be diagnosed with a blood test, but gluten sensitivity/allergies can't be.
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As with most things, the kids don't cost more...the parents spend more.
Eating a wholesome diet, will usually fix most of the allergy problems.
Having simple birthday parties at home, or at a park...and bake your own cake, even if it is a mix.
There is a tv show, from the UK, called the Food Hospital.
It shows how a lot of symptoms can be controlled, by altering a diet....very interesting.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
Why would you stop having fiber if you're eating gluten free? Tons of veggies give you plenty of movement of the bowel type...
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Why would you stop having fiber if you're eating gluten free? Tons of veggies give you plenty of movement of the bowel type...
I eat the fuck out of some broccoli, ever since I was a vegetarian. Love that stuff. And salads, all the time. Om nom nom nom.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
Why would you stop having fiber if you're eating gluten free? Tons of veggies give you plenty of movement of the bowel type...
Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
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Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.
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Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.
Let my parents take them for a day ;)
I remember one particular camping trip, I was probably about 7 or 8. When I complained I was hungry, my mom handed me a fishing pole and the edible plant guide.
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Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.
Let my parents take them for a day ;)
I remember one particular camping trip, I was probably about 7 or 8. When I complained I was hungry, my mom handed me a fishing pole and the edible plant guide.
I like your mother.
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Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.
Let my parents take them for a day ;)
I remember one particular camping trip, I was probably about 7 or 8. When I complained I was hungry, my mom handed me a fishing pole and the edible plant guide.
I like your mother.
I usually do! Haha. Seriously though, she's badass in a lot of ways. Her grandkids will definitely be going on camping trips with her ;)
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Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party? This is for your kid's birthday, right? Wants his friends, right? So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends? They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting. Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends. Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier. (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)
Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party.
We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited. And no need to get up to that maximum, either. Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones. And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.
My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA. That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags". Ugh. You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
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Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party? This is for your kid's birthday, right? Wants his friends, right? So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends? They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting. Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends. Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier. (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)
Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party.
We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited. And no need to get up to that maximum, either. Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones. And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.
My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA. That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags". Ugh. You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
I think it is inane but yes, many of today's parents are that rude.
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Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party? This is for your kid's birthday, right? Wants his friends, right? So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends? They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting. Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends. Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier. (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)
Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party.
We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited. And no need to get up to that maximum, either. Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones. And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.
My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA. That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags". Ugh. You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
TOTALLY agree with you. My friends up the street have two girls, and the younger daughter NEVER goes to birthday parties because she's NOT on the invitation. Because my friend, her mother, is in her 50's and knows etiquette.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?) many birthday parties started early and were "family" parties because we are actually friends with the families, so the adults are there and the kids are there and it's VERY hard to segue out of that.
This is why I was attempting the smaller sleep-over parties. Anyway, I think this year will be it.
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Sad. Those same kids throw everything out at lunch and then complain that they're hungry 5 minutes later...what they're missing is a connection with their parents that doesn't involve buying them crap...
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Sure, I can see it if it is an "everybody drop in" party - then you will have parents and all the kids. But if your husband is taking them to the YMCA then it isn't a "family drop-in" type party anymore, it is "birthday boy and a few friends and Dad off to the Y" party. Time to be firm, a change in party type is the perfect time to change the attendance rules. Otherwise you will be hosting siblings until you stop giving birthday parties. Which could be sooner than planned if this keeps up.
Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party? This is for your kid's birthday, right? Wants his friends, right? So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends? They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting. Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends. Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier. (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)
Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party.
We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited. And no need to get up to that maximum, either. Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones. And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.
My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA. That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags". Ugh. You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
TOTALLY agree with you. My friends up the street have two girls, and the younger daughter NEVER goes to birthday parties because she's NOT on the invitation. Because my friend, her mother, is in her 50's and knows etiquette.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?) many birthday parties started early and were "family" parties because we are actually friends with the families, so the adults are there and the kids are there and it's VERY hard to segue out of that.
This is why I was attempting the smaller sleep-over parties. Anyway, I think this year will be it.
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"...thousands of dollars for her own children's festivities..." - cakes cost $20 if you buy them, $5 if you make them. Also, kids don't need presents every time they turn a year older, especially not expensive ones.
Very Expensive children's parties baffle me. Admittedly, I'm not a parent, so I may well be missing something, but my hourly employee has a four-year-old (about to turn five) and asked my opinion about whether she should hire one costumed character ($185) or two ($340), since it was less per character to hire two. I had trouble keeping my tone light, that's for sure. I convinced her that hiring two was silly if she'd only ever wanted one, and that one was less money overall so the 'savings' wasn't real, but boy did I want to say "why the heck would you hire any? Buy some face paint maybe!"
It's particularly odd because she's a terrifically smart and motivated woman, and I know she's frugal in other areas (secondhand clothing, especially--she always looks fantastic and it costs her next to nothing) but when it comes to her daughter, the sky appears to be the limit. Parent blinders?
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All those things are expensive if you don't know how to say no.
My 8 year old isn't into sports, and I was recently asked when I was going to "let him" play a sport. Let him? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not heartbroken that we aren't on 3 soccer teams, including traveling soccer. I'm happy to pay $40 a month every other month for swim lessons (we waited too long to sign up this month).
The birthday parties kill me. KILL ME. Year 1: no party. Years 2-7, parties, and it's almost impossible to have one for under $250. Parties at the bowling alley, the YMCA, the park, whatever. And then you get invited to all the OTHER parties. Year 8 we did a sleepover with a few boys and it was crazy but I LOVED it.
My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA. That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags". Ugh. You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
But I pretty much refuse to participate. If he wants to do it, fine, I don't have the energy to fight it really. But I will not make the reservations, order the food, or buy stuff for gift bags. I'll show up, sure, smile and be social.
I don't understand why we even need a party. Can't we just invite the neighbors over for cake?
My 2 year old? No parties yes. He's been invited to parties, but we haven't thrown one yet. And won't this year either (3rd birthday). Will be visiting family.
What happened to just inviting a few friends over, making a few cupcakes, and calling it a day? My 6 year old wanted his party at some jump house for $400! Um no buddy. We had a great time at home after buying a small bounce house for $50 off craigslist.
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"...thousands of dollars for her own children's festivities..." - cakes cost $20 if you buy them, $5 if you make them. Also, kids don't need presents every time they turn a year older, especially not expensive ones.
Very Expensive children's parties baffle me. Admittedly, I'm not a parent, so I may well be missing something, but my hourly employee has a four-year-old (about to turn five) and asked my opinion about whether she should hire one costumed character ($185) or two ($340), since it was less per character to hire two. I had trouble keeping my tone light, that's for sure. I convinced her that hiring two was silly if she'd only ever wanted one, and that one was less money overall so the 'savings' wasn't real, but boy did I want to say "why the heck would you hire any? Buy some face paint maybe!"
It's particularly odd because she's a terrifically smart and motivated woman, and I know she's frugal in other areas (secondhand clothing, especially--she always looks fantastic and it costs her next to nothing) but when it comes to her daughter, the sky appears to be the limit. Parent blinders?
It is harder when it is your kid. You want them to have experience and things because seeing them happy, from multiple things makes you happy. For example, we buy all our daughter's clothes at consignment but there have been a few dresses that I want to buy new because of the companies making them. However, that want does not override my want to be FI but maybe if she was older and really wanted them as well it would be harder to say no. You also don't want to put your child in a position that she is bullied or without friends at school because you chose not to do the things the other parents do.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.
We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.
This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.
Actual celiac disease can be diagnosed with a blood test, but gluten sensitivity/allergies can't be.
I think it can be suggested by a blood test (presence of anti-bodies I think?) but in order to absolutely confirm they need a colonoscopy. My dad came out as inconclusive on the blood test but turned out to have ulcers instead of coeliac (my aunt definitely is coeliac though which is why the rest of the family got tested).
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.
We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.
This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.
Actual celiac disease can be diagnosed with a blood test, but gluten sensitivity/allergies can't be.
I think it can be suggested by a blood test (presence of anti-bodies I think?) but in order to absolutely confirm they need a colonoscopy. My dad came out as inconclusive on the blood test but turned out to have ulcers instead of coeliac (my aunt definitely is coeliac though which is why the rest of the family got tested).
Ah; my blood test came back negative, so that's why I wasn't aware there was further testing required. I was also tested because of an aunt with Celiac's.
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None of my family is allergic to anything, but recently we found my baby (less than 5 months old) is allergic and had blood in her stools. She is on breast milk only - but the food I'm eating is affecting her, so much so that I'm off eggs, soy, corn and dairy. We were recently cleared for nuts. Trust me, we don't keep our house super clean. We also do yearly trips to Asia, so it's not as if my immune system is weak and passed to my baby. We have no idea why she is allergic (none of the cousins are) nor when she'll outgrow it :(
So it might not be over cleanliness that's causing the allergies.
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What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)
It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch. Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.
The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.
We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.
This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.
Actual celiac disease can be diagnosed with a blood test, but gluten sensitivity/allergies can't be.
I think it can be suggested by a blood test (presence of anti-bodies I think?) but in order to absolutely confirm they need a colonoscopy. My dad came out as inconclusive on the blood test but turned out to have ulcers instead of coeliac (my aunt definitely is coeliac though which is why the rest of the family got tested).
Ah; my blood test came back negative, so that's why I wasn't aware there was further testing required. I was also tested because of an aunt with Celiac's.
The really unfortunate thing with the colonoscopy is that it relies on the damage from consuming gluten being present, if someone goes on a gluten free or low gluten diet before getting confirmed then the damage begins healing and they are liable to get a false negative.
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None of my family is allergic to anything, but recently we found my baby (less than 5 months old) is allergic and had blood in her stools. She is on breast milk only - but the food I'm eating is affecting her, so much so that I'm off eggs, soy, corn and dairy. We were recently cleared for nuts. Trust me, we don't keep our house super clean. We also do yearly trips to Asia, so it's not as if my immune system is weak and passed to my baby. We have no idea why she is allergic (none of the cousins are) nor when she'll outgrow it :(
So it might not be over cleanliness that's causing the allergies.
Sorry, cutinela, that anecdote a) prevents us from judging you and b) suggests we don't have complete control over our lives, and so will be summarily ignored.
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None of my family is allergic to anything, but recently we found my baby (less than 5 months old) is allergic and had blood in her stools. She is on breast milk only - but the food I'm eating is affecting her, so much so that I'm off eggs, soy, corn and dairy. We were recently cleared for nuts. Trust me, we don't keep our house super clean. We also do yearly trips to Asia, so it's not as if my immune system is weak and passed to my baby. We have no idea why she is allergic (none of the cousins are) nor when she'll outgrow it :(
So it might not be over cleanliness that's causing the allergies.
I have a good friend who's in the same boat, down to the bloody diapers. No dairy or soy. I guess it's not uncommon, but they do tend to outgrow it. At least, if your baby has the same thing. My friend said they could test dairy around a year old and see what happens. Have hope!
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On the "all or none" policy for birthday parties, I'm all for it. It is hard enough being an outsider, bullied or different in some way, without adults condoning leaving you out of parties. It usually are the same kids that don't get invited, and it is damn hard for both them and their parents to find ways to work this out. Kids can behave like evil little midgets if their parents condone them.
We just moved to a new town, and really appriciate the inclusive rules. My girls don't really have any friends yet, but it helps getting invited to birthdays. Especially since the other parents get a chance of observing tendencing to teasing and bullying in their own kids, that they don't see when the kids are in school.
In exchange for "forcing" people to invite the full class, the school lets anyone use the classrooms after hours for free. And it is just normal stuff here: hot dogs, cake, some small gifts, and free playtime. No expensive entertainment or hired clowns.
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I just RSVPed no to a birthday party, because it was for two kids in my son's 1st grade class. It was at an expensive place in town, so I'm assuming the parents wanted to pool their resources and have a double celebration. Great for them that they saved money, but since there was no mention on the invitation that my son's present(s) would be his presence, I'm presuming that meant as a guest I would be expected to bring a gift for each kid. Screw that!
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Well that article was extremely depressing. But just as I was ready to give up, I finished the slideshow and this was one of the links that came up:
http://money.cnn.com/gallery/news/economy/2014/06/16/american-dream/index.html
I think someone at CNN is a secret mustachian :)
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What happened to just inviting a few friends over, making a few cupcakes, and calling it a day? My 6 year old wanted his party at some jump house for $400! Um no buddy. We had a great time at home after buying a small bounce house for $50 off craigslist.
Yes. This is what I'd prefer, and what we did last year. (Note: I did not plan the party this year. I have had nothing to do with it.)
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I just RSVPed no to a birthday party, because it was for two kids in my son's 1st grade class. It was at an expensive place in town, so I'm assuming the parents wanted to pool their resources and have a double celebration. Great for them that they saved money, but since there was no mention on the invitation that my son's present(s) would be his presence, I'm presuming that meant as a guest I would be expected to bring a gift for each kid. Screw that!
I don't get it. Would you have RSVP'd "yes" if the party was for only one child?
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I just RSVPed no to a birthday party, because it was for two kids in my son's 1st grade class. It was at an expensive place in town, so I'm assuming the parents wanted to pool their resources and have a double celebration. Great for them that they saved money, but since there was no mention on the invitation that my son's present(s) would be his presence, I'm presuming that meant as a guest I would be expected to bring a gift for each kid. Screw that!
I don't get it. Would you have RSVP'd "yes" if the party was for only one child?
What don't you get? I didn't want to buy two birthday presents for one party. They saved money, but their guests certainly didn't.
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God, I'm glad I don't have children. They are a financial black hole and a massive source of stress. And when they get to middle school age, they turn into horrible little evil trolls. Other people can have children. I'm going to go enjoy a beach somewhere.
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Not a parent, but my thinking on birthday parties is to start small, so making each one better than the last doesn't get ridiculous. Not that they have to be more expensive each year but I think if you have clowns and a bounce house for age 7, then the kid will want a magician, petting zoo, and pony rides for age 8.
My parties were full of spin the bottle and slow dancing in my pre teen years, pretty cheap and ... unsupervised ... I guess I wouldn't want my 11 year old to do the same but I certainly enjoyed them. We never had non house birthday parties when I was growing up.
When I turned 25 though, I threw myself an epic birthday at the pizza place with arcade and indoor laser tag and go cart track. It was fun to go through the reservation process and then reveal that the birthday girl was me. I had the free tokens for my friends and coworkers' kids, and it was a really great day. Definitely my favorite adult birthday so far.
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I just RSVPed no to a birthday party, because it was for two kids in my son's 1st grade class. It was at an expensive place in town, so I'm assuming the parents wanted to pool their resources and have a double celebration. Great for them that they saved money, but since there was no mention on the invitation that my son's present(s) would be his presence, I'm presuming that meant as a guest I would be expected to bring a gift for each kid. Screw that!
I don't get it. Would you have RSVP'd "yes" if the party was for only one child?
What don't you get? I didn't want to buy two birthday presents for one party. They saved money, but their guests certainly didn't.
Presumably, if they had two separate parties you would have attended both and purchased two gifts. Why is buying two gifts for a joint party so offensive to you? Why does how much the parents spend on the party factor into your gift giving? What if the kids were twins, should the parents hold two parties?
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I just RSVPed no to a birthday party, because it was for two kids in my son's 1st grade class. It was at an expensive place in town, so I'm assuming the parents wanted to pool their resources and have a double celebration. Great for them that they saved money, but since there was no mention on the invitation that my son's present(s) would be his presence, I'm presuming that meant as a guest I would be expected to bring a gift for each kid. Screw that!
I don't get it. Would you have RSVP'd "yes" if the party was for only one child?
What don't you get? I didn't want to buy two birthday presents for one party. They saved money, but their guests certainly didn't.
Presumably, if they had two separate parties you would have attended both and purchased two gifts. Why is buying two gifts for a joint party so offensive to you? Why does how much the parents spend on the party factor into your gift giving? What if the kids were twins, should the parents hold two parties?
It's not offensive to me, but my kid gets invited to lots of parties a year. If I go to two parties and bring two gifts, my kid gets twice the amount of fun experiences. Perhaps that sounds crass to you, but honestly the whole exchange of parties/gifts among families is in many respects crass. I would much rather prefer that we all had "no gifts" parties, but obviously most families don't agree with me.
No, families with twins don't have to hold two parties, but they should probably make it a "no gift" party. My son's twin classmates did just that last year. They invited around 20 kids. If everyone had brought two gifts, that would be 40 gifts. Doesn't that seem obscene to you? Thankfully the parents of the twins realized this and did the sensible thing.
How far are you willing to take this? My two sons and their dad all have a birthday in the span of one week. Last year we threw a huge bash for all three. We invited around 50 people. Should everyone have brought three gifts so that we could bring over a hundred things back home with us? Come on, now. We made clear that no gifts were expected, and no one brought them.
The vast majority of these parties are for people I couldn't even pick out in a crowd. I don't buy a gift out of the goodness of my heart. I do it because it a socially mandated practice. It's onerous enough to buy one present for a perfect stranger, but two? No, thanks.
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I just RSVPed no to a birthday party, because it was for two kids in my son's 1st grade class. It was at an expensive place in town, so I'm assuming the parents wanted to pool their resources and have a double celebration. Great for them that they saved money, but since there was no mention on the invitation that my son's present(s) would be his presence, I'm presuming that meant as a guest I would be expected to bring a gift for each kid. Screw that!
I don't get it. Would you have RSVP'd "yes" if the party was for only one child?
What don't you get? I didn't want to buy two birthday presents for one party. They saved money, but their guests certainly didn't.
Presumably, if they had two separate parties you would have attended both and purchased two gifts. Why is buying two gifts for a joint party so offensive to you? Why does how much the parents spend on the party factor into your gift giving? What if the kids were twins, should the parents hold two parties?
It's not offensive to me, but my kid gets invited to lots of parties a year. If I go to two parties and bring two gifts, my kid gets twice the amount of fun experiences. Perhaps that sounds crass to you, but honestly the whole exchange of parties/gifts among families is in many respects crass. I would much rather prefer that we all had "no gifts" parties, but obviously most families don't agree with me.
No, families with twins don't have to hold two parties, but they should probably make it a "no gift" party. My son's twin classmates did just that last year. They invited around 20 kids. If everyone had brought two gifts, that would be 40 gifts. Doesn't that seem obscene to you? Thankfully the parents of the twins realized this and did the sensible thing.
How far are you willing to take this? My two sons and their dad all have a birthday in the span of one week. Last year we threw a huge bash for all three. We invited around 50 people. Should everyone have brought three gifts so that we could bring over a hundred things back home with us? Come on, now. We made clear that no gifts were expected, and no one brought them.
The vast majority of these parties are for people I couldn't even pick out in a crowd. I don't buy a gift out of the goodness of my heart. I do it because it a socially mandated practice. It's onerous enough to buy one present for a perfect stranger, but two? No, thanks.
You're saying you won't buy two presents for one party because your kid is getting cheated by not getting to experience two parties. So, he gets zero experiences in this case because you don't feel like 'overpaying' for a single experience. You're his parent and get to make that call. If you want to host a 'no gifts please' party, that's your right as well. If I had twins and they were of the 'invite the whole class' age, I would probably do the same so a reasonable amount of kids would show up instead of passing on it because they didn't want to buy two gifts. I could see wanting gifts, however, to recoup some of the expense of all of the gifts you had to buy for random classmates, and avoid the pain of explaining to your little ones why they don't get to open presents at their party when that's the social norm that they've experienced at every other kid's birthday party.
I do get your frustration of having to shell out for a gift for the random kids that your kid isn't even that friendly with. My son has 20-some other kids in his class, really only is friendly with a handful, yet my wife will still take him to any of the birthday parties we can make it to. I don't get it, but apparently my wife is somehow worried that a first grader is going to hold a grudge against my kid because he didn't show up to their party. My kids birthday is during the summer, so realistically only a couple are going to show up for his anyway.
Personally, I would love it if the parties were all no gifts. I think it's really tacky if it's a party for a grown, married adult, and there isn't a 'no gifts please' on the invite. Had to go to one a couple of weeks ago, and my wife refused to not take a gift in spite of my arguing that it was stupid to do so.
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With school officials encouraging parents to invite either all (or none) of their child's classmates to birthday parties, Sellinger said she fields at least 50 invitations a year for her 13-year-old son and 9- and 11-year-old daughters.
Excuse my language but fuuuuuuuuckkkk this...
The whole mentality of everyone is a winner, everyone gets a trophy, my kid better be included blah blah blah.
No I'll invite/my son will invite, whomever he wants. I've always been a nice person, but sorry, there were people in my classroom who were not part of my group. We make friends with people who we feel comfortable with, not everyone. Stop trying to micromanage a students personal life.
Actually most school policies state that if a child is passing out invitations at school all children of his/her gender should be included. IF you are only inviting select students, then the invites should be mailed or distributed outside of school.
Man if I ever got a "it's the whole class or none" bullshit line, I would flip my shit...
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I am amazed reading some of these birthday party stories. When my son is older he will be having the same sort of parties I did growing up. Invite half a dozen friends around where they can run around in the back yard, or local park for the afternoon. Lunch will be things like sliced fruit, sausage rolls, crackers, cheese, homemade savoury muffins. Followed by homemade cake.
And if I have never heard the name of some other kid who's invited him to a party he needs to be able to put forward a convincing case as to why he should go.
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My sister's husband is the food-allergy king. He's allergic to peanuts, seafood, dust, dogs, cats, and a long list of foods. His mother kept their home "boy-in-the-bubble clean" for her little snowflake, and his allergies just got worse and worse. He and my sister are about to have her third child. The oldest is an allergic train wreck - they keep the home so spotless and sterile for the husband, that the kids barely come in contact with anything, so his allergies just get worse. The oldest recently got the "peanut allergy" diagnosis and my sister went to the school and did the whole "no peanuts within 100'" thing, notes were sent home to classmates, etc.
My daughter had a walnut allergy when she was little. Gave her hives. Every few months we would give her a little piece of walnut to eat until she got used to it. She grew out of it by the time she was ten. Now you could say, oh just avoid walnuts. But for me it was a safety issue.
Meanwhile, when my sister and I grew up, we played in the dirt and spent most of our time outdoors. I get about a week of watery eyes when the goldenrod blooms in Spring, but that's it. "Hygiene hypothessis" seems to line up with our experiences.
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No, families with twins don't have to hold two parties, but they should probably make it a "no gift" party.
So kids who don't share their birthday can get gifts, but ones who have a sibling born the same day shouldn't get gifts?
Your logic is baffling.
I mean, the kids who have a birthday to their own, most likely still have siblings- so the total number of gifts that flows through the house in a year is the same as the twins. It's just a problem that they all come in on the same day?
(I've noticed my sister's twins do get smaller gifts than her single- so parents do budget; and just because of the sheer amount of stuff, she's had no gift parties, for all three. But to say a twin should have a no-gift party just because they are a twin. That makes zero sense at all.)
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No, families with twins don't have to hold two parties, but they should probably make it a "no gift" party.
So kids who don't share their birthday can get gifts, but ones who have a sibling born the same day shouldn't get gifts?
Your logic is baffling.
I mean, the kids who have a birthday to their own, most likely still have siblings- so the total number of gifts that flows through the house in a year is the same as the twins. It's just a problem that they all come in on the same day?
(I've noticed my sister's twins do get smaller gifts than her single- so parents do budget; and just because of the sheer amount of stuff, she's had no gift parties, for all three. But to say a twin should have a no-gift party just because they are a twin. That makes zero sense at all.)
Clearly my thought process here hit a nerve with people. I've said from the beginning that I would prefer all parties to be no gifts, including my kids. I just went to a party yesterday in which we spent at least 30 minutes of a short party opening gifts. Good grief!
Can we all agree that kids in general have too much stuff to begin with? I don't think I'm depriving my children of a meaningful experience or am a big ole meanie if I don't let them experience an orgy of gift giving at their birthday party. Nor am I an irrational person for thinking that families with twins probably already have overflowing toy boxes as well. But carry on. I'll continue to decline birthday parties of my choice, and you can enjoy watching two kids open birthday presents for over an hour :).
Sheesh. Did I somehow find myself in another forum?
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I know I should just let this go, but since that is not really my strong suit - let me just add this to the discussion.
@Iowajes, your logic could also be applied to the party itself. If we're going to put the financial reasons of birthday party attenders under the microscope (labeling them cheap or illogical), then we darned well should do that for the host(s) as well.
Why don't parents of twins throw two birthday parties? After all, if they had their children separately at different times of the year, wouldn't they be having two parties?
They don't, because it's a silly argument, and birthday parties are expensive and, frankly, usually not that fun for the adults. I might add that these are the same reasons that parents like myself of potential attendees might choose to forego a party that requires two gifts. It's an easy reason to decline a party I would rather not attend anyway.
But I could dispense with the whole culture of gift giving and children's parties and be quite content. Call me a scrooge if you want. I prefer to embrace it as part of my quest for less things.
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After all, if they had their children separately at different times of the year, wouldn't they be having two parties?
Around here, if the kids are near each other at all in birth date, they often do. Actually, I'm pretty sure I had a shared party with my sister in the 80s, I was January and she was February. We were 2 years apart. Our friends only brought gifts for the one of us they were friends with. Friends who were friends with both of us, brought both of us a gift.
Personally, I see no issue at all in declining an invitation if you don't want to buy a gift; I didn't say anything against that. And I applaud "no gift" parties, or "bring a dog item and we will donate to the animal shelter" etc.
But it makes ZERO sense to me to say a twin shouldn't get a gift, specifically for being a twin. (And, as they have grown- shared gifts don't work as well anymore. They don't want to be thought of as a unit. They are individuals who want separate things.) I do know some twin parents who have separate parties if the kids do not have overlapping interests. One has their friends go bowling, the other go ice skating- and in the cases I've seen, yes, the twins attend each other's parties, but the friends don't necessarily overlap.
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Enough things in this thread are cause for alarm, that casual me actually got motivation to join the forum and reply.
1. What the heck do kids have to look forward to if there is an endless line of birthdays on their calendar? I remember waiting for "Jimmy Smith's" birthday, and feeling special because I got to go. I also remember hanging out at the park next to "Jimmy Smith's" place so when he got home from a birthday party we could go bike riding. Both were rewarding in their own way. And yeah, the freckle faced redhead never invited me to her birthday. That was a lesson too.
2. Allergies are on the increase for a couple reasons - first, life is now easier for folks with deadly allergies - they live past 5 years old. Tolerance is way higher than it used to be. But Like vaccinations, people like to feel 'special' and want society to change to suit the one kid at the risk of the herd, so we see the herd developing reactions due to low exposure rates to the allergens and the bubble mentality. Etc. ad nauseum.
3. With regards to asthma - someone posted about a bout of adolescent asthma coupled with eczema. If you have these 2 conditions, I would encourage you to have your heart rhythm checked at your next annual checkup. When in HS, I was running track and having regular asthma bouts, and chest pains intermittently. Eczema was an issue all my life. When I went to a cardiologist to have a 2D Echo done, he identified that a Mitral Valve Prolapse is common on folks with the other 2 conditions and is (was?) considered a genetic trait at the time. IOW, the asthma and eczema may be markers for a heart condition.
4. About gifts - the trend up here among the home-schooled, ultra Christian crowd lately has been to hold a charity birthday. The kids get cards stuffed with money for the SPCA or women's shelter or whatever, or they get supplies for the charities. Its all very nice. I'm looking for a way to get to be socially acceptable for my kids to host College fund top-up parties. I mean, we need the cash more than we need to contribute to the pacific gyre with more plastic crap every 3 months. I have no idea how I convince folks this is a better idea than dropping $20 at Toys R Us.
5. And finally... the birthday party stupid is a good market for you to make money if you are looking for a weekend gig. Sew together a costume and rent yourself out as a character for kids parties. Around here Batman gets about $250 a day. If you don't have that physique, go for Old King Cole at a lower rate. Women really have it made in this niche since "Princess Parties" are all the rage up here right now. Know how to make tea? Got a Goodwill nearby? All you need is a gown and a Tiara and you go teach kids table manners for an afternoon and collect your fee.
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But it makes ZERO sense to me to say a twin shouldn't get a gift, specifically for being a twin. (And, as they have grown- shared gifts don't work as well anymore. They don't want to be thought of as a unit. They are individuals who want separate things.) I do know some twin parents who have separate parties if the kids do not have overlapping interests. One has their friends go bowling, the other go ice skating- and in the cases I've seen, yes, the twins attend each other's parties, but the friends don't necessarily overlap.
I can certainly understand your perspective and will give twins b'days more consideration in the future. It's probably pretty hard to be a twin and never have your special day be only yours.
FWIW, for my third son's first birthday in a few months, I'm going to set up a fund raiser with the Against Malaria foundation. I didn't know about this charity until I came across it on here. I'll be sure people understand it isn't obligatory or expected though and we'll match whatever is given. Might as well harness people's desire to give for good.
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I really don't understand the need to celebrate birthdays at all. I think it's probably nice for kids and would think ages 5, 10, and 21 (or three other ages) would be good to celebrate. But I honestly don't understand the need to celebrate it every year. My mother treats her birthdays as if the world should stop spinning and everyone should drop their activities to celebrate her birthday. I'm sorry to be so jaded, but everyone has a birthday. They are not special.
I heard in Greece they celebrate name day instead of birthday. So everyone named Constantine celebrates on the same day. I liked that idea especially because it points out that everyone is special, but no more special than others!
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The birthday parties kill me. KILL ME. Year 1: no party. Years 2-7, parties, and it's almost impossible to have one for under $250. Parties at the bowling alley, the YMCA, the park, whatever. And then you get invited to all the OTHER parties. Year 8 we did a sleepover with a few boys and it was crazy but I LOVED it.
We are super frugal compared to our peer group (and our kids haven't even hit kindergarten yet). Everyone seems to rent a space for a party, which sets you back $100-200 right there. We had a pretty big party for our daughter's third birthday last summer; big for us was 8-10 kids and at least as many adults. Cost was $100 for pizza, utensils, drinks, etc and we had a lot of pizza left over. We didn't do goody bags. It does help that she has a summer birthday and we live in a big house, lots of space to romp indoors and out, which I think is all they care about at this age. This is one perk to the big house, and a couple of my friends who rented the big spaces live in tiny places.
But I really can't see doing one of those $200 rentals and inviting a zillion kids. If as my kids get older they really want to go to some place fancier, the party will have to be smaller by comparison.
IDK, anyone who judges us for doing the frugal & homey approach is someone I don't want to be friends with anyway. We have friends over a lot. Nobody will ever go hungry at one of our gatherings and we have a good time, but nothing is fancy. I am comfortable with that and I hope as our kids grow up they'll be comfortable with it too.
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Parties at my house stress me the hell out. Maybe it's because I have a small house, or maybe I just need to get over the fact that it usually isn't all clean at once. But I would pay at least $100 more to have a party not in my house.
One perk of a kid parties at traditional kid places like bounce places or whatever is that there is not expectation to provide food or drink for adults. When your kids are under five, most parents like to stay with their kiddo. So if I have a party at my house and parents come, I feel obligated to provide food and most likely beer for them. This adds up quickly. I have spent well over a hundred dollars for a home party. Of course I could have done it cheaper, but I just know if I am a parent stuck in a stranger's house, I like some food and drink to make it more pleasant.
Since all of our birthdays are in the spring/summer, we often rent a pavilion at a park. Our local one is only $35 for the day. The annoyance there is hauling all the drink and ice to the park and figuring out a way to keep things either hot or cold. But this type of party can be done for pretty cheap. Grill some dogs, put some bowls of chips out, and have a cake. Done and done.
But I agree with others that a party every year is not necessary and rather excessive. Our kids have been told from day one that some years they won't get a party. My husband's parents never did parties and instead said that each year he could invite one or two friends to go to the movies with him. He loved that.
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JustAJane - Park pavilions are a great idea. Local parks here have started passing bylaws requiring that parties booking the pavilion get a public gathering (forget the exact words) permit in addition to booking the pavillion. The reason for this is that the permit can only be issued with proof of insurance.
After a few BBQ's burnt down various gazebos, the thought was that the insurance would be a good thing to have so that the taxpayer wouldn't be on the hook when the disaster struck. Exactly how you go about getting that sort of insurance no one knows though...
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...One perk of a kid parties at traditional kid places like bounce places or whatever is that there is not expectation to provide food or drink for adults....
It might be a Maryland thing but every party my 7 year old attended over the last year at a bounce-house/bowling-alley/laser-tag/gymnatics-gym/trampoline-gym/neighborhood-clubhouse had enough food (pizza), drink (soda/juice/water), and dessert (cake/cupcakes) for the kids and the adults. For some parties, every adult stayed with the kid. For some, multiple kids were dropped off.