Author Topic: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"  (Read 24965 times)

AliInKY

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CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« on: January 05, 2015, 10:47:18 AM »

This...is ridiculous.  And laughable.  Pile on, everyone!
http://money.cnn.com/gallery/pf/2014/08/18/children-costs/index.html?iid=SF_PF_River


JR

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2015, 11:46:18 AM »
There is a lot of victim mentality going on there (especially the video game tab). Maybe I am lucky but when I have the occasional urge to play a video game I can rent pretty much any PS3 game I want at the local library for $4 per week. Even Redbox video games are only $2 per day. If the kid is beating them that fast they should only have to rent the game for a few days at a time...
« Last Edit: January 05, 2015, 11:48:43 AM by JR »

skunkfunk

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2015, 11:52:51 AM »
I can see some of that. It would be pretty miserable as a child to turn down every birthday party and play date because you can't afford ice skate rental or whatever.

My first is due this month. Haven't decided how best to deal with this stuff, but I'm pretty sure pricey video games and birthday parties are off the menu.

gimp

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2015, 12:02:01 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

Birthdays? Go fuck yourself. My parents were awesome; I got birthday gifts till I turned 11. After that: you're old enough to save up and buy your own.

Video games? Double go fuck yourself. If everyone has a phone, a tablet, and a laptop... the last thing you need is to spend money on a video game system and games. Even with any one of those three, you can get good games for free. When I was younger, though, video games were a large reason to start programming - it used to take some skill to play them, and of course, if one wanted to cheat to automate them... :) but it's easy to get addicted and become a stereotypical neckbeard living in the basement, eating hot pockets and mountain dew, playing wow or lol or whatever all day fucking long instead of trying to get laid or doing schoolwork. Way too easy.

Spending money? Eh. Depends on what you can afford. $60/month is certainly more than I got but is not the most outrageous sum I've heard. Compromise and pay your kid for doing chores that would otherwise be far more expensive. Cleaning the entire house, mowing the lawn and landscaping and taking care of scrap, putting out the garbage and bringing it in, cleaning the garage, washing and waxing the car, cooking... fixing those little things that need fixing but aren't dangerous (rattling knobs, paint touch-ups, sanding something down, replacing bulbs, whatever.) Pay for that, if you can afford it. Sounds like a lot of work but for, say, a hunnert a month, I would have been all over that as a kid. Cheaper than replacing things with small defects. Cheaper than hiring someone to do pretty much anything. Plus, as they grow older, they can do harder things; I remember replacing all the electrical sockets in my parents' house - an electrician quoted something like $75/per, but it's super easy to do yourself. I'm actually sympathetic to this, even though I got a lot less as a kid.

Sports etc? If you can afford it, sure. And as long as it's for the right reasons. The wrong reason is "Because I always wanted to do x" or "it looks good on a college application." For fun, health, strength, passion, discipline, and becoming a better person, go for whatever can be afforded.

AvisJinx

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2015, 02:14:21 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

« Last Edit: January 05, 2015, 02:45:11 PM by AvisJinx »

Future Lazy

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2015, 02:21:21 PM »
Clearly that family should feel shame at having to ask to borrow movies, and read books instead of buying the latest gadgets.

I mean, you can't just not have the latest gadgets!

AvisJinx

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2015, 02:40:59 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation).  I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous.  My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods. 

This article was absolutely ridiculous.  Video games?  Seriously?

What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.

skunkfunk

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2015, 02:45:35 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation).  I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous.  My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods. 

This article was absolutely ridiculous.  Video games?  Seriously?

What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp for their 7 year old daughter. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.

How much would you pay to have your kids out of the house?

AvisJinx

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2015, 03:08:24 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation).  I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous.  My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods. 

This article was absolutely ridiculous.  Video games?  Seriously?

What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp for their 7 year old daughter. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.

How much would you pay to have your kids out of the house?

But...that's for just one week. I don't have kids, but I'm guessing $250 would be worth it for a weeks worth of no drama at home?

Abe

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2015, 04:11:43 PM »
A one week drama camp would be my family over Christmas break.

"...thousands of dollars for her own children's festivities..." - cakes cost $20 if you buy them, $5 if you make them. Also, kids don't need presents every time they turn a year older, especially not expensive ones.

"I hate the 'mom-guilt' I feel when I put a limit on the number and frequency of activities we do," she said. - it's called being a parent. I'm sure she also complains how much time the kids have to study, as if education leads nowhere.


Gin1984

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2015, 05:25:35 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation).  I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous.  My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods. 

This article was absolutely ridiculous.  Video games?  Seriously?

What got me was the $250 for a one-week drama camp. My parents would laugh themselves silly at that one.
My mom spent about $200/week for day camp when I was a kid.  She was a working mom and that is the camp that worked for her.  Not everyone has a stay at home spouse.

Lkxe

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2015, 05:49:48 PM »
With school officials encouraging parents to invite either all (or none) of their child's classmates to birthday parties, Sellinger said she fields at least 50 invitations a year for her 13-year-old son and 9- and 11-year-old daughters.

Excuse my language but fuuuuuuuuckkkk this...
The whole mentality of everyone is a winner, everyone gets a trophy, my kid better be included blah blah blah. 

No I'll invite/my son will invite, whomever he wants. I've always been a nice person, but sorry, there were people in my classroom who were not part of my group. We make friends with people who we feel comfortable with, not everyone.  Stop trying to micromanage a students personal life.
Man if I ever got a "it's the whole class or none" bullshit line, I would flip my shit...
So far in my children's lives this is a misinterpretation of the policy- Don't hand out invites at school unless you are inviting the class. Some teachers will slip them into homework folders but you are better off inviting outside of class.
 

EDSMedS

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2015, 06:51:43 PM »
I love that $200/mo additional groceries due to allergies REQUIRES "driving older cars, borrowing movies from the library for free and nixing purchases of the latest gadgets."

This poor family must "sacrifice" to "borrow" from the library - oh god - "for free!"  This story makes me angry b/c it is posing as an interest piece while prescribing a state of "normal" that turns a profit.  The "news" source, CNN, is owned by Turner Broadcasting which is owned by Time Warner Cable, which also happens to provide movies (NOT for free).  By presenting the norm as BUYING movies, and BORROWING as a sacrifice, this "article" is thinly veiled advertising.

Yay for news...

going2ER

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2015, 01:07:35 PM »
Yeah, I don't think these parents have really thought about how expensive things could be, but have they ever considered saying NO? No costs nothing and can lead to looking at something else that may be lower cost or free. Don't only poor people use things like the library that are free? and plus once they read that book they don't get to keep it, it has to go back to the library. And imagine sending your kids out in the neighborhood to play outside, yikes, they'd have to arrange that street hockey/baseball/soccer game themselves, and maybe they won't have enough players for a proper team or be able to measure where the nets should be, that would be devastating. Seriously? I have 2 that love sports, but don't play on a league for all of them that they love, they play them with their friends, outside.

What would they do if they were in an accident or one of them had a medical condition requiring ongoing medical care? Then they would find out how expensive kids can be! I have 2 children with unrelated, not hereditary, rare illnesses. I'm in Canada and health care is free, but I don't even want to look at my December budget since we had to make 2 unexpected trips to the childrens hospital, a 5 hour drive away, and we have an appointment on the 8th of January up there.

steveo

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2015, 01:48:23 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

This one kills me. I went to a party the other day and we were eating seafood. You weren't allowed to touch the kids until you had soaped your arms because they are allergic to it.

This was unheard of when I was a kid and its also unheard of with my kids. Have kids changed ? There is something funny going on.

I will state that we just bought a MacBook Air with software for $1000 for my daughter to attend her free schooling (she is 13). The funny thing is the specifications that the school provided made this computer the cheapest option. We also bought her a phone but its a piece of crap and she has to pay for her calls. We give her $20 per fortnight to spend. Over the next 2 years we have to spend $5000 on braces. So it is expensive to have kids. In stating that we definitely don't overdo it.

I'll add on games we have a PS3 that my 11 yo son uses. He was so upset that we weren't going to upgrade to a PS4. He plays soccer. They both have had heaps of swimming lessons. My 4 yo is also at day care which costs a fortune.

So kids are expensive however no one needs the latest gadgets or top line gadgets. We don't spend money on holidays or eating out or going out to see a movie. Lots of his friends though do all of that stuff. One family close to ours sends their kids to expensive schools, go on OS holidays, have heaps of gadgets and the latest ones and my impression is that they don't earn as much as what we do.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2015, 01:58:15 PM by steveo »

gimp

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2015, 03:03:59 PM »
I am not a doctor, nor trained in medicine. I do however suspect that it's the hygiene  hypothesis. If your kid has nothing for his immune system to fight - dust, dirt, shit, animals, the great outdoors, sick friends - the immune system starts to fight other things. Namely food.

As you might imagine, modern science is maddeningly undecided on the subject of things like peanut allergies.

Quote
Various studies had suggested that early exposure to peanut protein by infants with allergic tendencies could sensitize them and lead to a serious peanut allergy. In 2000, pregnant and nursing women were advised to avoid eating peanuts, especially if allergies ran in the family. And new mothers were told not to give babies peanuts before age 3, when digestive systems are more fully developed.

But this advice did nothing to curb the steady climb in peanut allergies, and it was abandoned in 2008.

Today, the thinking is exactly the opposite. Instead of restricting exposure to peanut protein by unborn or nursing babies, the tiny amounts that may enter the baby’s circulation when a pregnant or nursing woman eats peanuts might actually induce tolerance, not sensitization.

But that's a subject for another day.

Out of curiosity, how did the macbook air turn out to be the cheapest option? I am selfishly glad you bought it, but very curious how it was the cheapest.

Hey It's Me

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2015, 05:00:09 PM »
With school officials encouraging parents to invite either all (or none) of their child's classmates to birthday parties, Sellinger said she fields at least 50 invitations a year for her 13-year-old son and 9- and 11-year-old daughters.

Excuse my language but fuuuuuuuuckkkk this...
The whole mentality of everyone is a winner, everyone gets a trophy, my kid better be included blah blah blah. 

No I'll invite/my son will invite, whomever he wants. I've always been a nice person, but sorry, there were people in my classroom who were not part of my group. We make friends with people who we feel comfortable with, not everyone.  Stop trying to micromanage a students personal life.

Man if I ever got a "it's the whole class or none" bullshit line, I would flip my shit...

I was just coming here to post this. What the fuck?

gimp

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2015, 05:02:22 PM »
When I was a kid, that was the rule too: if you want to pass out invites in class, everyone or noone gets them. Otherwise, invite people outside of class. This isn't really a burden, to be honest, though it is whiney crybaby bullshit.

Hey It's Me

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2015, 05:04:40 PM »
I also found this handy calculator:

http://money.cnn.com/interactive/pf/cost-of-children/

"How much will it cost to raise your child?"

I got 231k, over 18 years (real $). What am I buying this kid? Gold jewelry every year?

Paul der Krake

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2015, 05:23:54 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

This one kills me. I went to a party the other day and we were eating seafood. You weren't allowed to touch the kids until you had soaped your arms because they are allergic to it.
And when it's not food allergies, it's ADHD, or a hormonal problem that makes people fat, or a vitamin deficiency, or high stress, or something that's definitely a disease that just happens to be 1000% more prevalent in Americans than the rest of the world. Urgh.

Meanwhile, the French and the Italians have eaten unpasteurized warm cheese for a few millenia and have virtually none of those so called problems.

takeahike

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2015, 06:27:44 PM »
I was a nurse in 3 different dementia wards for a couple of years. Not one single food allergy. These lovely folks ranged in ages 70s to 100.

gimp

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #21 on: January 06, 2015, 06:39:05 PM »
That calculator is insane. If you earn more, it means it costs more to raise your kid. That's interesting. What's more interesting is that I am absolutely sure that it is based on fairly accurate statistics - maybe not the actual numbers, but that those who have more spend more on kids.

An interesting conundrum. Certainly we want the best for our kids. Some things are probably factors of working a lot to earn the higher salary - both parents highly-paid professionals, now you're paying for daycare, babysitting, nanny, cleaning, I dunno; not necessarily the case but easy to see. A lot of expenses are things we don't need - shiny toys. Others are things we don't need - experiences; here it gets fuzzy for me; where do you draw the line and how do you justify these things? Still others are advantages we can give... better education, activities with a secondary purpose of opening doors or improving the human. Hard choices.

The thing that surprises me most is that the cutoff is 18. It seems to me that for many people, the biggest expenses are 18-22: college. If you don't really try too hard or spend too much extra, clothes-food-shelter-extra is very little, per year, between kindergarten and high school graduation compared to a single semester of out-of-pocket university costs (even after aid and loans.)

Gin1984

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #22 on: January 06, 2015, 08:43:58 PM »
That calculator is insane. If you earn more, it means it costs more to raise your kid. That's interesting. What's more interesting is that I am absolutely sure that it is based on fairly accurate statistics - maybe not the actual numbers, but that those who have more spend more on kids.

An interesting conundrum. Certainly we want the best for our kids. Some things are probably factors of working a lot to earn the higher salary - both parents highly-paid professionals, now you're paying for daycare, babysitting, nanny, cleaning, I dunno; not necessarily the case but easy to see. A lot of expenses are things we don't need - shiny toys. Others are things we don't need - experiences; here it gets fuzzy for me; where do you draw the line and how do you justify these things? Still others are advantages we can give... better education, activities with a secondary purpose of opening doors or improving the human. Hard choices.

The thing that surprises me most is that the cutoff is 18. It seems to me that for many people, the biggest expenses are 18-22: college. If you don't really try too hard or spend too much extra, clothes-food-shelter-extra is very little, per year, between kindergarten and high school graduation compared to a single semester of out-of-pocket university costs (even after aid and loans.)
My high school cost more per year, not counting the required "extras" than any year of college.  In addition, the increase was higher than college cost increases.

sheepstache

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #23 on: January 06, 2015, 09:20:43 PM »
I love that $200/mo additional groceries due to allergies REQUIRES "driving older cars, borrowing movies from the library for free and nixing purchases of the latest gadgets."

This poor family must "sacrifice" to "borrow" from the library - oh god - "for free!"  This story makes me angry b/c it is posing as an interest piece while prescribing a state of "normal" that turns a profit.  The "news" source, CNN, is owned by Turner Broadcasting which is owned by Time Warner Cable, which also happens to provide movies (NOT for free).  By presenting the norm as BUYING movies, and BORROWING as a sacrifice, this "article" is thinly veiled advertising.

Yay for news...

Yes, I can see this! It reminds me a bit of my SO saying tonight how depressing it was to have so many useless stores in our neighborhood. Cheap crap, delis, pawn shops, phone stores, baseball cap stores (yes, stores that just sell baseball caps), etc. Maybe this is seeing the past through rose-colored glasses but I think there would have just been fewer stores in the past and it would have been more of a residential area. What changed is that everyone started spending a fuckton more money so now these pointless stores are economically viable.

Unique User

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #24 on: January 07, 2015, 06:32:35 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

This one kills me. I went to a party the other day and we were eating seafood. You weren't allowed to touch the kids until you had soaped your arms because they are allergic to it.
And when it's not food allergies, it's ADHD, or a hormonal problem that makes people fat, or a vitamin deficiency, or high stress, or something that's definitely a disease that just happens to be 1000% more prevalent in Americans than the rest of the world. Urgh.

Meanwhile, the French and the Italians have eaten unpasteurized warm cheese for a few millenia and have virtually none of those so called problems.

I think it's just dealt with differently today, it almost feels like a "I'm/my kid is special and you need to make allowances".  I'm 45 and when I was a kid I had asthma and a ridiculous number of allergies, peanuts, chocolate, eggs, tomatoes, bee stings, pollen.  But, no one made any allowances for me and I just didn't eat those things.  My sister used to love to torture me with Reese's cups on Easter/Halloween.  By the time I was a teen I had outgrown all except asthma and allergies to chocolate and bee stings.  I also have a very real issue with not being able to absorb B12, it runs in my family and I have to get shots a couple times a year.  I remember my grandmother giving herself B12 shots in the 70s so I believe my doctor when she says I need to have the shots to keep my B12 levels stable. 

But allergies and sensitivities are blown way out of proportion nowadays, although a small number may have truly serious allergies, those are the very, very, very few.  I still remember the kid that came over to our house with an epi-pen for a peanut allergy and had to have a peanut free table at school as well peanut free classroom snacks to the point of asking me what box mix I used for brownies (umm none) since some brands have trace peanuts.  The mom admitted a couple years later that she wasn't sure if the kid was ever allergic, just wanted to be safe since another kid was allergic.  But on the other hand, yum to unpasteurized cheese. 

steveo

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #25 on: January 07, 2015, 07:10:54 PM »
But allergies and sensitivities are blown way out of proportion nowadays, although a small number may have truly serious allergies, those are the very, very, very few.  I still remember the kid that came over to our house with an epi-pen for a peanut allergy and had to have a peanut free table at school as well peanut free classroom snacks to the point of asking me what box mix I used for brownies (umm none) since some brands have trace peanuts.  The mom admitted a couple years later that she wasn't sure if the kid was ever allergic, just wanted to be safe since another kid was allergic.  But on the other hand, yum to unpasteurized cheese.

I have asthma, eczema & get dandruff all the time. I get really bad hayfever at least once per year. If I eat some crappy food I get massive stomach cramps. All of these things are allergy related and everyone of them is not really that big a deal with modern day medicine and a little common sense. I'm freaken allergic and so are my kids. None of them get any sort of special diet and although my 2 boys have to take asthma and nasal allergy medicine they eat all sorts of food.

I think trivial little allergic reactions or possible allergic reactions get blown out of all proportion. People need to harden up.

Metta

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #26 on: January 07, 2015, 07:53:13 PM »

I have asthma, eczema & get dandruff all the time. I get really bad hayfever at least once per year. If I eat some crappy food I get massive stomach cramps. All of these things are allergy related and everyone of them is not really that big a deal with modern day medicine and a little common sense. I'm freaken allergic and so are my kids. None of them get any sort of special diet and although my 2 boys have to take asthma and nasal allergy medicine they eat all sorts of food.

I think trivial little allergic reactions or possible allergic reactions get blown out of all proportion. People need to harden up.

In general I think you're right but asthma is different. It can be life-threatening for someone with a serious version of it. "Hardening up" really doesn't cut it if exposure to the allergen leads one to an extended stay in a hospital. (Thus, one should not smoke in front of children with serious asthma and tell them to "man up". It's just wrong.)

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #27 on: January 07, 2015, 09:49:19 PM »
Interesting story. A friend of mine could swim two laps (50 yards) under water. He set school records for fastest backstroke. Great teammate for water polo. Turns out he has asthma. I asked him what an asthma attack was like and if he got ever them. He said something like "once in a while during practice; I usually notice once the play stops or I get to the wall." When he was a kid, it was like having to breathe through a straw when your heart beats at 200 bpm... now it's a mild inconvenience at most. Owns an inhaler just in case but hasn't used it in years. Turns out asthma is one of those things you might overcome by being very fit and exercising in a way that grows and improves your lungs. Similarly, a thing that is made much worse by being unfit, especially overweight.

Boy did this thread go off topic.

Sibley

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #28 on: February 09, 2015, 03:00:31 PM »
When I was a kid, that was the rule too: if you want to pass out invites in class, everyone or noone gets them. Otherwise, invite people outside of class. This isn't really a burden, to be honest, though it is whiney crybaby bullshit.

Freely accept that I'm the odd one, but I'm uncomfortable in groups, even of my friends. I haven't had a real birthday party since middle school, and I was miserable at that one too.

caliq

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #29 on: February 09, 2015, 04:59:51 PM »
Interesting story. A friend of mine could swim two laps (50 yards) under water. He set school records for fastest backstroke. Great teammate for water polo. Turns out he has asthma. I asked him what an asthma attack was like and if he got ever them. He said something like "once in a while during practice; I usually notice once the play stops or I get to the wall." When he was a kid, it was like having to breathe through a straw when your heart beats at 200 bpm... now it's a mild inconvenience at most. Owns an inhaler just in case but hasn't used it in years. Turns out asthma is one of those things you might overcome by being very fit and exercising in a way that grows and improves your lungs. Similarly, a thing that is made much worse by being unfit, especially overweight.

Boy did this thread go off topic.

I think a lot of people just grow out of asthma as they get older, even if they're not super fit. 

I had terrible bronchitis when I was a baby and up until about 3 or 4, I had one of those nebulizer things and had to use it twice a day to get medicine into my lungs so I could breathe normally.  Now I only need an inhaler if I have a wicked chest cold (and honestly even then I only use it because it clears it up faster, I can still breathe okay if I don't use it) or try to go running if it's really really cold or really really humid.  And I am definitely in the unfit category right now, lol.

mm1970

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2015, 11:11:04 AM »
All those things are expensive if you don't know how to say no.

My 8 year old isn't into sports, and I was recently asked when I was going to "let him" play a sport.  Let him?  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not heartbroken that we aren't on 3 soccer teams, including traveling soccer.  I'm happy to pay $40 a month every other month for swim lessons (we waited too long to sign up this month).

The birthday parties kill me.  KILL ME.  Year 1: no party. Years 2-7, parties, and it's almost impossible to have one for under $250.  Parties at the bowling alley, the YMCA, the park, whatever.  And then you get invited to all the OTHER parties.  Year 8 we did a sleepover with a few boys and it was crazy but I LOVED it.

My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA.  That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags".  Ugh.  You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.
But I pretty much refuse to participate.  If he wants to do it, fine, I don't have the energy to fight it really.  But I will not make the reservations, order the food, or buy stuff for gift bags. I'll show up, sure, smile and be social. 
I don't understand why we even need a party.  Can't we just invite the neighbors over for cake?

My 2 year old?  No parties yes.  He's been invited to parties, but we haven't thrown one yet.  And won't this year either (3rd birthday).  Will be visiting family.


zephyr911

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #31 on: February 10, 2015, 11:16:42 AM »
That calculator is insane. If you earn more, it means it costs more to raise your kid. That's interesting. What's more interesting is that I am absolutely sure that it is based on fairly accurate statistics - maybe not the actual numbers, but that those who have more spend more on kids.

An interesting conundrum. Certainly we want the best for our kids. Some things are probably factors of working a lot to earn the higher salary - both parents highly-paid professionals, now you're paying for daycare, babysitting, nanny, cleaning, I dunno; not necessarily the case but easy to see. A lot of expenses are things we don't need - shiny toys. Others are things we don't need - experiences; here it gets fuzzy for me; where do you draw the line and how do you justify these things? Still others are advantages we can give... better education, activities with a secondary purpose of opening doors or improving the human. Hard choices.

The thing that surprises me most is that the cutoff is 18. It seems to me that for many people, the biggest expenses are 18-22: college. If you don't really try too hard or spend too much extra, clothes-food-shelter-extra is very little, per year, between kindergarten and high school graduation compared to a single semester of out-of-pocket university costs (even after aid and loans.)
There are a lot of ways to describe this phenomenon, but "keeping up with the Joneses" still works. People with more money spend more on everything because their neighbors and friends do. Not because it necessarily makes life better or makes them happier... they just assume it's the way to go, and eventually it becomes a "need" through conditioning.

zephyr911

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #32 on: February 10, 2015, 01:10:55 PM »
I'm an adult with food allergies (tested multiple times and trips to the emergency room for additional validation).  I don't have any issues with gluten, but my list of allergies is ridiculous.  My food allergies have decreased our food budget. I think the increase in food spending is associated with the replacement (usually very processed) foods.
I read the list and I just laughed my ass off. I realize bread, milk, and cheese are considered staples by many people, but they're not exceptionally healthy to begin with, and paying twice as much for the replacements is just fucking retarded. How about falling back on meat, vegetables, and fresh fruit? A little stir-fry over rice with fruit salad for dessert never killed anyone.
It sounds like they took their kid's allergy as an excuse to move up the processed luxury food scale instead of down it, those dummies. But hey, at least it's got them driving older cars. As we say in the South... bless their hearts. *snickers*

Cwadda

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #33 on: February 10, 2015, 01:47:20 PM »
Quote
A friend of ours is an ocd neat freak, to the point that she should buy stock in Clorox. She wipes EVERYTHING down with disinfectant wipes, all the time. Her kids are living in a cocoon of cleanliness and lack of immune building essentials, to the point that if they ever flight out of country and are exposed to something stronger than the normal here I fear for their lives.

She posts her cleaning rituals on FB, usually a 3-4 hour schedule on Saturdays and a 1/2 hour "quick wipe"(as she call it) every day before and after work. WTF.??

Let your kids eat dirt, worms, etc. let them touch anything and everything. How do you think they'll be able to build a strong system???

I get this vibe too from my older sister who has 3 kids. She cleans the house - vacuums, disinfects everything, cleans towels after one use, etc - every single day. The first kid already has peanut allergies and an Epipen. The second has had severe stomach problems. The third is too young to tell what's going to happen. I just don't know. Then again, anecdotal stories.

All I know is when I have my own kids you bet I'll be cleaning the pacifier in my own mouth and giving it to my kid right after. Or feeding them with my own spoon.

Also, as a devout fan of Nintendo, the video game tab made me sick to my stomach. Beating games too fast and expecting more? WHAT? I played and still play about 1-2 games PER YEAR and that's plenty. We're talking about video games for holiday season only, folks.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 01:50:05 PM by Cwadda »

hunniebun

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2015, 02:06:47 PM »
Okay - These examples are over the top to be sure...but they do bring some attention to some costs that I never thought about before I had my own kids...such as birthday party gifts!  It adds up even if it is just a handful per year.   As for the video games...that is just absurd...and the 250$ camp is pretty standard.  But since this is almost the same as daycare costs for a child in many places, I don't think it is that big a deal.  The sports fees are expensive, but you just have to learn to pick and choose.  Follow your kids passions. And if you are in Canada - Kids sports fees are a tax deduction :) My son loves hockey and it is expensive...but that is all he does. If he stops loving hockey, he can chose something else.  All things in moderation and moderation in all things..


crispy

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2015, 02:14:08 PM »
I always stock up on birthday gifts when I find a sale and pull those out whenever there is a party my girls want to attend.  I usually don't spend more than $5.

cautiouslyunconventional

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #36 on: February 10, 2015, 06:23:08 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.

We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.

This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.

caliq

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #37 on: February 10, 2015, 06:28:01 PM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

The gluten test is only for some forms of sensitivity, I think - some don't show up but still are a thing. Though of course people will tend to assume that their allergy must be one they've heard of before and misdiagnose.

We eat more variety of food nowadays than we used to, including processed food that didn't used to exist, which I suspect is the reason for more allergies. They're often to non-staple foods, too. In the past, I think allergies just got lumped in with all the other mystery problems - if you had a severe one, its an unexplained death. If a more mild one to common food, it's a chronic illness - you're just sickly or prone to warts or whatever.

This happens even now. I know someone with a very noticeable mind-affecting allergy (like, difference is night and day, not something you could fske) who almost got diagnosed mentally ill before figuring it out.

Actual celiac disease can be diagnosed with a blood test, but gluten sensitivity/allergies can't be. 

kathrynd

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #38 on: February 10, 2015, 06:58:40 PM »
As with most things, the kids don't cost more...the parents spend more.

Eating a wholesome diet, will usually fix most of the allergy problems.
Having simple birthday parties at home, or at a park...and bake your own cake, even if it is a mix.

There is a tv show, from the UK, called the Food Hospital.
It shows how a lot of symptoms can be controlled, by altering a diet....very interesting.


eyePod

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #39 on: February 11, 2015, 09:51:39 AM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

Why would you stop having fiber if you're eating gluten free? Tons of veggies give you plenty of movement of the bowel type...

zephyr911

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #40 on: February 11, 2015, 10:21:59 AM »
Why would you stop having fiber if you're eating gluten free? Tons of veggies give you plenty of movement of the bowel type...
I eat the fuck out of some broccoli, ever since I was a vegetarian. Love that stuff. And salads, all the time. Om nom nom nom.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #41 on: February 11, 2015, 10:23:17 AM »
What the fuck is up with everyone being allergic to things. Food allergies were unheard of when and where I was little. I can't believe that this isn't a modern phenomenon. (Unless maybe "gluten allergy" used to mean "you will have plenty more babies to replace that one"?)

It seems a lot of people are being misdiagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, when in fact certain carbohydrates (as can be found in baked goods, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, beans, apples, and high fructose corn syrup) can cause the same gastrointestinal issues. Many people I work with claim to have a gluten sensitivity, but they haven't actually been tested to know for sure. It seems odd to me that you would make changes to your diet, especially at the risk of  reducing your intake of fiber and many other beneficial vitamins, based on a guess or a hunch.  Besides, I've seen what my coworkers eat and how much; I highly doubt that gluten is the problem for most of them.

Why would you stop having fiber if you're eating gluten free? Tons of veggies give you plenty of movement of the bowel type...

Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.

zephyr911

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #42 on: February 11, 2015, 01:02:02 PM »
Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #43 on: February 11, 2015, 01:35:11 PM »
Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.

Let my parents take them for a day ;)

I remember one particular camping trip, I was probably about 7 or 8. When I complained I was hungry, my mom handed me a fishing pole and the edible plant guide.

sheepstache

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #44 on: February 11, 2015, 01:41:10 PM »
Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.

Let my parents take them for a day ;)

I remember one particular camping trip, I was probably about 7 or 8. When I complained I was hungry, my mom handed me a fishing pole and the edible plant guide.

I like your mother.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2015, 04:30:41 PM »
Exactly what I was thinking. I eat way more fiber on paleo (8 cups of veggies a day!) than I ever did when my diet included pasta and bread.
A lot of parents take the path of least resistance with their kids... my guess is the kid likes bread, cheese, and milk, and they don't have the cojones to just say no.

Let my parents take them for a day ;)

I remember one particular camping trip, I was probably about 7 or 8. When I complained I was hungry, my mom handed me a fishing pole and the edible plant guide.

I like your mother.

I usually do! Haha. Seriously though, she's badass in a lot of ways. Her grandkids will definitely be going on camping trips with her ;)

RetiredAt63

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #46 on: February 21, 2015, 06:29:25 PM »
Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party?  This is for your kid's birthday, right?  Wants his friends, right?  So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends?  They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting.  Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends.  Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier.  (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)

Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party. 

We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited.  And no need to get up to that maximum, either.  Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones.  And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.

My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA.  That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags".  Ugh.  You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.


Gin1984

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #47 on: February 21, 2015, 07:02:56 PM »
Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party?  This is for your kid's birthday, right?  Wants his friends, right?  So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends?  They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting.  Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends.  Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier.  (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)

Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party. 

We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited.  And no need to get up to that maximum, either.  Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones.  And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.

My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA.  That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags".  Ugh.  You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.

I think it is inane but yes, many of today's parents are that rude.

mm1970

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #48 on: February 21, 2015, 07:18:14 PM »
Since when do siblings of invitees get invited for a birthday party?  This is for your kid's birthday, right?  Wants his friends, right?  So why would older/younger siblings of those friends make the event better for kid and his friends?  They are tagging along and/or you are just baby-sitting.  Kids don't have any reason to go to birthday parties of siblings' friends.  Sort that out and your parties will be a lot easier.  (Or am I that out of touch with present-day parenting?)

Being even more cynical - I bet it is almost all younger siblings, the older ones wouldn't usually be caught dead at a younger kid's party. 

We did the age thing - age of birthday child = maximum number of friends invited.  And no need to get up to that maximum, either.  Plus DD and her friends enjoyed the parties at home (summer birthday = outside fun) as much as they enjoyed the fancier ones.  And they pretty well ended by age 12 - after that it was sleepovers with only 2 or 3 other girls.

My husband hated it.
He's planning year 9 this year at the YMCA.  That's going to be at least $300 with the rental fee, food, and "gift bags".  Ugh.  You see, he has 5-6 good friends, but they all have siblings, so that's 12-15 kids right there.

TOTALLY agree with you.  My friends up the street have two girls, and the younger daughter NEVER goes to birthday parties because she's NOT on the invitation.  Because my friend, her mother, is in her 50's and knows etiquette.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) many birthday parties started early and were "family" parties because we are actually friends with the families, so the adults are there and the kids are there and it's VERY hard to segue out of that.

This is why I was attempting the smaller sleep-over parties.  Anyway, I think this year will be it.

JetsettingWelfareMom

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Re: CNN article - "The Most Surprising Cost of Raising My Kid"
« Reply #49 on: February 21, 2015, 09:00:56 PM »
Sad. Those same kids throw everything out at lunch and then complain that they're hungry 5 minutes later...what they're missing is a connection with their parents that doesn't involve buying them crap...