Chart "analysis": The dumbest **** you will read today

[BobTheBuilder]

I just have to post this link. It is ... hilarious? Pure horror? You decide! It has everything! Bitcoin, charts, .. ENERGY PATTERNS .. :-D

"Each peak or valley on this chart sets up a new Price Amplitude energy pattern. Some are more relevant than others in term of how price will react to them. All of them are important to understand and to help us relate to how price may move in the future, yet we try to stick with the most important Fibonacci Price Amplitude Arcs when we share charts with our readers. You’ve probably seen some of our other research charts with lots of arcs and lines drawn all over them – those are part of our research team’s work to dig into the hidden energy layer that exists behind price activity on every chart." (Emphasis mine)

https://www.investing.com/analysis/bitcoin-price-collapse-will-continue-for-months-200468814

[RWD]

You don't use Fibonacci Price Amplitude Arcs to guide your investing?

[jinga nation]

You don't use Fibonacci Price Amplitude Arcs to guide your investing?

I wish my investments grew in a Fibonacci sequence.

[ysette9]

You don't use Fibonacci Price Amplitude Arcs to guide your investing?

I wish my investments grew in a Fibonacci sequence.

Fibonacci sequence investments- the next most powerful force in the universe after compound interest.

[markbike528CBX]

Does anyone remember 70's era Biorhythms?  I vaguely remember a program for Biorhythms on the Apple II.

[AMandM]

That is... beautifully horrific? horrifically beautiful? The inaccurate deployment of scientific terms is just gorgeous.

The Fibonacci Price Amplitude Arcs [...] are the visual deployment of two unique theories: Fibonacci price theory and Tesla’s Mechanical Resonance theory. The basis behind our thinking when we created this tool was that Fibonacci price theory suggests that all price movement is related and structured to previous price movements and that Tesla’s theory that everything we touch, see and know to exist is the result of ENERGY suggested to us that ENERGY may be one of the most important components in understanding price movement.

Energy is typically measured in Volts and Amps. We adopted a different approach to this thinking, we used Sound structures and energy as the basis for our proprietary analysis:

And then they use a quote from Wikipedia to support the idea that sound is a form of energy!

And the arcs on the graph have nothing to do with the Bitcoin prices.

And the equivocation... And, and...Thank you. Just thank you.

[CoffeeR]

Does anyone remember 70's era Biorhythms?  I vaguely remember a program for Biorhythms on the Apple II.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/jYoY1cwAd90?start=218&end=240&mute=1

[slugline]

Does anyone remember 70's era Biorhythms?  I vaguely remember a program for Biorhythms on the Apple II.

Yes, and other machines of the same era, like Coleco's that used a BASIC programming language that closely mimicked the Apple II.

[prudent_one]

I don't think even the authors believe that crap. They are just piling on mumbo-jumbo and making rainbow charts to sucker in crypto investors.  Seems logical to me that a lot of crypto fanboys would fall for that nonsense. That's why I love chart people - when your prediction fails, just redraw new charts and you get a new prediction!

[Just Joe]

Does anyone remember 70's era Biorhythms?  I vaguely remember a program for Biorhythms on the Apple II.

Yes, and other machines of the same era, like Coleco's that used a BASIC programming language that closely mimicked the Apple II.

My Radio Shack 120 projects in 1 kit had a circuit for bio-rhythms.

[joleran]

This may be fine for beginners, but ultimately you want to use timecube-based investing strategies. https://timecube.2enp.com/

[alienbogey]

Hell, I get a monthly or quarterly whatever investing magazine from Schwab because we have an account there. 

The latest one had an entire article on investing via chart analysis, with discussion of such marvelous investment opportunities as recognizing the classic "head and shoulders" chart pattern and others and how to profit from them.

Charles F'g Schwab published that s***.

 I considered submitting an article to them on how to recognize patterns in coffee grounds in order to make investment decisions, or patterns in the stars to make life choices.

Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here.

[js82]

Every time I see someone selling some flavor of "technical analysis" as a supposedly-valid investment approach, a part of me wants to reach through the screen and punch the person on the other side, as a service to the investing public.

"Guys, look at the triple inverted angry face pattern!  It means DOOOOOOM!"

[Wintergreen78]

Their chart had colors, lines, circles, and arrows! If you have four different things, and they all tell you the same thing, then I am pretty sure your theory is legitimate. These guys are on to something.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t smart enough to understand what they were saying. What am I supposed to do? Sell everything and buy bitcoin?

That has to be it. I’m off to do that right now.

[Wintergreen78]

Their chart had colors, lines, circles, and arrows! If you have four different things, and they all tell you the same thing, then I am pretty sure your theory is legitimate. These guys are on to something.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t smart enough to understand what they were saying. What am I supposed to do? Sell everything and buy bitcoin?

That has to be it. I’m off to do that right now.

Wait, I just read it again. I think what they are saying is that, if the bitcoin price goes down some more, then it might keep going down after that. If it doesn’t keep going down, then it might go up.

That is some pretty profound insight.

I also don’t know why I am quoting myself, but after reading that article, I feel like I can do or say anything.

[jinga nation]

Hell, I get a monthly or quarterly whatever investing magazine from Schwab because we have an account there. 

The latest one had an entire article on investing via chart analysis, with discussion of such marvelous investment opportunities as recognizing the classic "head and shoulders" chart pattern and others and how to profit from them.

Charles F'g Schwab published that s***.

 I considered submitting an article to them on how to recognize patterns in coffee grounds in order to make investment decisions, or patterns in the stars to make life choices.

Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here.

I opened a brokerage account at Charles Schwab last year, to buy/sell non-Vanguard ETFs. From day one, before I transferred any funds, I got bombarded with emails and newsletters and articles pushing active funds, and shit like patterns that made no sense. I decided not to transfer anything. They closed the account for inactivity a year or so later, but they still send me emails. I keep on clicking "unsubscribe" but that didn't work. Finally marked them as spam. Problem solved.
Fuck Chuck and his nasty peeps.