Author Topic: brithday celebrations  (Read 1994 times)

partgypsy

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brithday celebrations
« on: July 28, 2019, 08:30:55 AM »
I have a friend who sent out a group message to invite people to celebrate her birthday. She DID say come to all or some of them but still, she has planned literally 7 things to celebrate her birthday! Every one of them involves spending money.

I'm not making any of them because she sent it with 2 days notice and I have prior commitments.

Friday evening 1) a music show.
Saturday. 2) Farmer's market from 10-12. 3) 1 pm on-on a festival with both music and fireworks
4) attend local baseball game, with fireworks afterward.
Sunday  5) Another music show (same band as Friday) from 3:30-5:30.
6) new restaurant for pizza.
7) After pizza, dancing (place tbd). 

Holy heck, I feel exhausted just reading the list!
 

Freedom Invested

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2019, 10:31:22 AM »
This sounds like the birthday plans of a narcissist.

AMandM

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2019, 01:37:00 PM »
Unless this is a birthday that is happening because a miracle defied a fatal prognosis, there's no birthday worth that much celebrating.

littleweedontheprairie

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2019, 01:41:00 PM »
There is an awesome Portlandia skit about this phenomenon. 2 guests to the birthday party have to take a loan to be able to attend - hilarious reply at the bank when they apply : "I'm a birthday loan officer, I think I know what tapas are".

KodeBlue

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2019, 04:28:54 PM »
My DH had an aunt who turned 100 a few months ago. To celebrate they held a combo family reunion/birthday tribute; pot luck in a local park, no gifts (auntie told everyone that seeing them while she was still alert and healthy enough to enjoy it was enough of a gift). And that was it. For a 100th birthday.
Unless the person in OP is turning 110, can't see the point. I don't care that much about anyone's birthday.

(ps; auntie died about 3 weeks ago; her daughter told us that the family picnic in the park made her very happy and was exactly what she wanted.)

KodeBlue

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2019, 04:34:11 PM »
OP let us know how snarky this person's response is when no one shows up.

ElleFiji

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2019, 05:25:12 PM »
I don't know the specifics of the places... But all the activities look fun and inexpensive and like how s/he was already spending their weekend. And I believe in birthday months so I'm not sure what the problem is. Maybe the email was worded badly or they thought they were supposed to send you the list but it's a different friend who asked?

MilesTeg

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2019, 06:03:24 PM »
I have a friend who sent out a group message to invite people to celebrate her birthday. She DID say come to all or some of them but still, she has planned literally 7 things to celebrate her birthday! Every one of them involves spending money.

I'm not making any of them because she sent it with 2 days notice and I have prior commitments.

Friday evening 1) a music show.
Saturday. 2) Farmer's market from 10-12. 3) 1 pm on-on a festival with both music and fireworks
4) attend local baseball game, with fireworks afterward.
Sunday  5) Another music show (same band as Friday) from 3:30-5:30.
6) new restaurant for pizza.
7) After pizza, dancing (place tbd). 

Holy heck, I feel exhausted just reading the list!

Hmm, looks like a fun weekend for someone to spend and they invited you to join or not as you see fit. What's the fuss?

partgypsy

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Re: birthday celebrations
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2019, 08:07:48 AM »
Maybe I'm just old and grumpy? In retrospect I think I'm being judgy because she left grad school abd and keeps saying this is the summer she is going to finish her dissertation.  That was 5? years ago. Then again I haven't heard her say anything about her dissertation the past year, so maybe that's no longer her plan. She basically had it written but it required a lot of revision. I don't think it's going to happen at this point.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2019, 08:41:14 AM »
Wow, that's a lot. I like the positive reply of "looks like a fun-filled weekend and you're invited," especially since I didn't look at it that way.

We just had a child's birthday. As a family we had a nice brunch. In the afternoon, we cleaned the house and some friends of hers came over for pizza and s'mores. I probably spent $250, plus got up earlier than I normally would on a Sunday.

socaso

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2019, 02:39:46 PM »
The first 5 items sound like they are community events that would be occurring regardless of the person's birthday. It's true that is a lot to do in one weekend. I don't know how the email was worded but maybe this person just wanted to create lots of opportunities to hang out with their friends around their birthday? The other factor at play is whether or not this person is expecting friends to cover their costs at each of these events. If they are that's a bridge too far but if they are just saying, "this is where I'll be and I'd love to see you" then I don't think it's so awful.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: brithday celebrations
« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2019, 03:01:18 PM »
I'm not sure how or why birthday parties for adults became a "thing" except for landmark birthdays such as 50 and 75. Getting someone else to throw you a party under any other circumstances just seems juvenile to me.

I understand treating a friend or relative for his or her birthday as a reason to socialize or maybe do something special, or as part of a larger reciprocal relationship where people more or less take turns acknowledging each other. I understand using one's birthday (or retirement, or whatever) as an excuse to treat friends and family, in which case the host is expected to pay (and the guest list tends to be more controlled and less of a social media free-for-all). But I can't wrap my tiny little brain around the idea of a bunch of people getting together and chipping in for the guest of honor. I also don't understand a person organizing activities for themselves with the expectation that the guests will not only pay their way but contribute to the birthday person's ticket too. There's something about "It's my birthday! Come celebrate the glorious ME and pay for the privilege" that irritates me.

panda

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Re: birthday celebrations
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2019, 08:59:07 AM »
She basically had it written but it required a lot of revision. I don't think it's going to happen at this point.
Having just finished a dissertation, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear. If it was basically written the committee would have been leaning the person to defend if it was defend-able. Although I've also heard of people defending and not finishing their revisions as well.

As for the birthday, honestly it sounds like it's just a fun weekend of doing things that are already going on in the area. If it's drop-in, drop-out for people that are invited I really don't see what the problem is.