You are clearly very emotional about this, but I'm not entirely sure why.
. . just as you should feel shame for defending a motorist (who broke the law and caused an accident) by commenting on the clothing that the cyclist wears.
You are not sure, why because you have zero interest in reality, and even contradict yourself with what you claim is your behavior, and you beliefs on this topic.
First, lets move past the concept of "accident". This word is easily abused in that it infers two very wrong concepts. The first is that something occurred that is unavoidable, as in, "God's will" and if there are two parties involved, there is always a clearly defined perpetrator, who wronged a undeniably innocent victim, who suffered their unavoidable fate through no fault of their own. The second issue with the word accident is that it assumes that it was essentially unpredictable, and that at least one party involved, could not of foreseen, engaged in behavior to avoid, or done something that could of created a slightly different set of conditions, that would of prevented it's occurrence. In reality, an accident is a culmination of a series of poor decisions, created by a lack of knowledge, experience, training, and preparation. Doesn't matter if you back the car into a pole, or get your ass run over while biking, in most cases YOU could of done something to potentially avoid the "accident" or improved your chances of a better outcome. Therefore even thinking of co-opting the term "victim blaming", which should be limited to the very serious issue of sexual abuses, and the having the gall to try to cobble up some sort of rape analogy, to defend the misuse of the term, is beyond fucked up.
In the case of road biking, it's obvious that a lot of common behavior is not done with any though toward self preservation, or accident prevention. In the city, red light and stop sign running, riding the wrong way on one way streets, riding on busy sidewalks, etc...are extremely common sights. When it comes to rural riding, there are other issues, from riding in groups that include multiple riders, shoulder to shoulder, speeding, assuming that others are aware and agree that you have the right of way, etc... blocking traffic because "you know your rights" etc.... Every one of these moves places you in a lot more danger than if you are being defensive, assuming that motorists are not paying attention and are trying to run you over, just because THEY drive like idiots. Other issues include evaluating the roads you are on. I live in one of the largest rural tourist draws in North America. Every year, eight million visitors come to our county, and many are driving roads they are unfamiliar with, and not paying attention as they gawk at how plain sect folks live their lives. This all happens on a complex maze of winding, hilly, shoulderless, antiquated back roads. IMHO, it's a place that I would only ride in an extremely defensive manner, and not at peak times like nice sunny Saturday afternoons. That said, if there are big packs of peloton. bros out there, taking the road over, it's whenever fast, clueless tourist traffic is at it's peak.
I believe that there are many accidents where there is no clear victim, and when it comes to bike-vehicle collisions, many times, the outcome could of been much different if the rider had taken the time to ride like everybody was out to get them, like there wasn't a single driver out their who gave a rat's ass about the law, and their rights as a cyclist, and they were actually clearly visible. There is a big difference between being dressed in all black, no helmet, no lights, no strobe etc, tucked tight, speeding down a steep, rural hill, when a car that doesn't even see you makes a left in front of you, and replaying the same scene, when you have a high-viz jersey and helmet, and an LED strobe on the front, and the left turner waits for you to pass.
The most common and bizarre rant from the bike crowd is the topic of laws. There is an assumption that bike rights and laws have meaning, and a dramatic bitch-fest flares, whenever your crowd has been disrespected. The fact that the vehicle driving public, and much of law enforcement, has little understanding, knowledge, patience or concern for any of that, seems to be of little interest to this crowd. "I have every RIGHT to use the whole lane. You rounded the blind corner, and struck me as I was straddling the center line and it's you fault. the law is on my side". FFS, it's a really defective way to view your own self -preservation, and could get you killed, but it some sort of twisted militancy with your crowd. Oddly, there is a bit of "do as I say, not as I do" in your case. You continually agree that wearing bright clothing, helmets, and lights are all important, then default to you obsession with lawless motorists. In my comment about the idiot I observed in head to toe gray, biking in low light conditions, being real vulnerable to being run over by the next little old lady driving by, you immediately comment that the driver who doesn't see the rider is at fault (which is bullshit) and that they need to be punished. But you would never do something this stupid, would you? Hopefully, for you and a lot of your fellow aggressively angry cyclists, a lot of this mindless blather is just blowing off steam. Since much of what you believe about motorists, the law and your rights, has little to do with reality, and is of little concern to your next of kin.
BTW, I will happily remove any reference to your use of the rape analogy, if you will be so kind as to scrub it from your post. It is unacceptable, and I find it to be horribly offensive. Given my high tolerance for most offenses, I doubt that I am alone.