Sounds like these people aren't happy and tried to paper over their life dissatisfaction with spending.
I know a lot of medical professionals, and ironically, I see this type of rampant spending most among those who deep down realize that they hate the job.
Now that my husband and I found ourselves on what are well paid career tracks in a soulcrushingly materialistic place I kind of get it - you start spending like that so that you "have to" keep running after money, it gives you a more tangible sense of why you simply have to do it, even if it feels wrong.
We looked at a house today, listed at 1,35 million €, a completely basic townhouse with no backyard (the green area behind it belongs to the 2-3 million € house next door), it made me sick to my stomach and we once again decided that no, this is not for us, but the pressure out there is very real...I hate what and where we are professionally and we currently still have the freedom to just walk away. But we don't, mostly because anxiety and inertia keep us in. Still, it feels like a moral weakness, doesn't it.
But if I buy one of these houses...well...then I can no longer just walk away. So I can keep being miserable, but in a more socially acceptable, mainstream way.
It's first world sad, but it's sad.
This is exactly what mustachianism is all about, recognizing that this type of behaviour is not only incredibly toxic, but voluntary.
Don't downplay what a big deal this is.
You also hit the nail on the head of what your problem is, you see choosing not to financially prosper as much as you can as moral weakness. Meanwhile, mentally healthy people see prosperity as far more dynamic than that, they include a deep sense of moral responsibility to be happy and healthy if they have that option.
What's immoral, and frankly embarrassing, is having all the means you need available to be happy and healthy, and still choosing a path you don't enjoy because you've *decided* to primarily perceive pressure to earn and spend.
Meanwhile, that pressure is mostly in your head. It's not actually really out there, if you stopped doing what you are doing, you might get a few comments now and then for awhile, but truthfully, nobody really gives a flying fuck what you do with your career and housing choices. Honestly, it's just not that important to anyone, and people just get used to whatever you choose to do.
Seriously, no one cares beyond mild gossip. They're too busy obsessing about how their own lives are being perceived.
The real source of pressure is how you imagine people will perceive your decisions. That's where people really get stuck.
I'm not kidding, it's almost all in your head, and you have the option of confronting it instead of papering over it with purchases to try and salve the dissatisfaction.
So, if pressure is what you respond to, then let me put some pressure on you: it is a moral failing and a HUGE waste of resources to not live a healthy and happy life when you have no excuse not to.
I've given the above speech to many a young professional seeking financial advice, and it's liberated quite a few of them.