Author Topic: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars  (Read 10911 times)

Just Joe

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2620
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #50 on: April 30, 2018, 02:45:24 PM »
I'll add a second person with dark glasses and a fancy suit leading you into the bank a few steps ahead of you looking around alot.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2018, 12:23:35 PM by Just Joe »

solon

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1473
  • Age: 1818
  • Location: CO
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #51 on: April 30, 2018, 03:24:51 PM »
Got to have an earpiece, too. Bonus points if he can touch the earpiece a couple times during the visit.

markbike528CBX

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 949
  • Location: the Everbrown part of the Evergreen State (WA)
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #52 on: April 30, 2018, 06:06:45 PM »
All the above, especially the fur hancuffs, on a visit to the safe deposit box.

DW looks the ( security detail) part in mirrorshade sunglasses.

The case would contain one silver ounce, ensconced in foam in the middle.

edit for punctuation, capitalization.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2018, 01:25:20 AM by markbike528CBX »

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2101
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #53 on: April 30, 2018, 07:24:10 PM »
Please tell me you walked in with a metal briefcase full of money handcuffed to your wrist a la James Bond.

I've always wanted to walk into a bank with a metal briefcase full of money handcuffed to my wrist. :-)

I just added that to my bucket list.
I don't think I'd get past security if I tried that, but it's super-fun to imagine!

I use a credit union. It's do-able.

My problem: where would I get the handcuffs? I know there are "certain stores" that cater to "certain tastes" but aren't all those handcuffs fur-lined?
Well, they also come in leather ;)
But otherwise, usually you can pull the fur off and have plain metal ones.

Now that I think about it, fur or leather lined handcuffs may be funnier.

talltexan

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2233
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #54 on: May 02, 2018, 02:26:02 PM »
The people I talk to who've worked in banks say that--when people come in to do large transactions--they often look, well, mustachian.

Swap out the briefcase with what looks like a homeless guy's backpack. That has a pouch inside with like $30,000 in cash.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2101
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #55 on: May 02, 2018, 09:21:38 PM »
The people I talk to who've worked in banks say that--when people come in to do large transactions--they often look, well, mustachian.

Swap out the briefcase with what looks like a homeless guy's backpack. That has a pouch inside with like $30,000 in cash.

Yes: I'll enter the credit union in my Sunday attire (I strive to not have to get out of the pyjamas that day and refuse to do anything with my hair although that soon won't be an issue). On my wrist I'll have a fur-lined handcuff, with the other end attached to the strap of my backpack. I'll write out the deposit slip-- good thing I'm ambidextrous. Then I'll walk up and greet the teller, and free the deposit by unbuckling the backpack strap and slipping it out through the handcuff. Finally I'll open the backpack and count out a ridiculous number of ones, all with a lengthwise fold crease and smelling suspiciously like the Victoria's Secret fragrance department.

This should be good... I haven't gotten myself thrown out of a business establishment in years.

GreenEggs

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 654
  • Location: Here & There
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #56 on: May 03, 2018, 12:15:38 AM »
The people I talk to who've worked in banks say that--when people come in to do large transactions--they often look, well, mustachian.

Swap out the briefcase with what looks like a homeless guy's backpack. That has a pouch inside with like $30,000 in cash.

Cardboard file boxes seem to work well for larger amounts.  You'll need a hand truck if you have more than one box, or trusty helper.  A hand truck makes the boxes look less valuable, while being 100% trustworthy. ;)  Also, it's a good idea to tape the lids on well.  Most banks don't keep that much cash on hand, but you never know what some people have packed in safe deposit boxes. 

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2101
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #57 on: May 03, 2018, 08:13:42 AM »
The people I talk to who've worked in banks say that--when people come in to do large transactions--they often look, well, mustachian.

Swap out the briefcase with what looks like a homeless guy's backpack. That has a pouch inside with like $30,000 in cash.

Cardboard file boxes seem to work well for larger amounts.  You'll need a hand truck if you have more than one box, or trusty helper.  A hand truck makes the boxes look less valuable, while being 100% trustworthy. ;)  Also, it's a good idea to tape the lids on well.  Most banks don't keep that much cash on hand, but you never know what some people have packed in safe deposit boxes.

Maybe a kid's Radio Flyer wagon.

talltexan

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2233
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #58 on: May 04, 2018, 09:16:18 AM »
Just hire a local eight-year-old if you don't have one handy.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2101
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #59 on: May 04, 2018, 09:41:46 AM »
Just hire a local eight-year-old if you don't have one handy.

Better yet, handcuff the kid to the money. That will go over well.

Cali

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 163
  • Location: SoCal
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #60 on: May 04, 2018, 09:11:13 PM »
The people I talk to who've worked in banks say that--when people come in to do large transactions--they often look, well, mustachian.

Swap out the briefcase with what looks like a homeless guy's backpack. That has a pouch inside with like $30,000 in cash.

Which is why they should be delighted at least once in their lives when they see someone in a tuxedo with a metal briefcase handcuffed to their wrist, flanked by similarly-attired people wearing ear pieces.

(I assume the handcuffs will be neon and fuzzy)

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2101
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Bank wouldn't let me deposit $100,000 dollars
« Reply #61 on: May 05, 2018, 08:02:28 AM »
The people I talk to who've worked in banks say that--when people come in to do large transactions--they often look, well, mustachian.

Swap out the briefcase with what looks like a homeless guy's backpack. That has a pouch inside with like $30,000 in cash.

Which is why they should be delighted at least once in their lives when they see someone in a tuxedo with a metal briefcase handcuffed to their wrist, flanked by similarly-attired people wearing ear pieces.

(I assume the handcuffs will be neon and fuzzy)

That could be cool: cruise by a thrift store for the costumes and all.