Author Topic: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?  (Read 27713 times)

shelivesthedream

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #100 on: September 15, 2019, 10:28:06 AM »
Quote
Why? Because it is one of the few tangible reminders (besides our wedding photos that are sitting idly on my husband's MAC somewhere) that I have of a day that was 10 years in the making and meant more to me than any other that came before it.
My husband is pretty good tangible reminder of my wedding day. When I find myself forgetting about that day- I poke him in the face, and I think "oh right, he's real, we got married. Good party."

HAH! Love this.

There is a direct correlation in my extended family between cheapness of wedding (per head - not necessarily number of guests invited) and length/successfulness of marriage. I noted this when we got married and my parents spent maybe 200-300 on my dress (mother insisted I have a new one, so I got a sensible navy knee-length one), prepared food and booze for 15 people.  We're not big party/centre-of-attention people anyway, and the available data just confirmed me in that choice.

hops

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #101 on: September 16, 2019, 07:34:55 AM »
Wait...it's affordable wedding dresses that cheapen marriage? I thought it was same-sex marriage...

Just imagine affordable dresses at a same-sex marriage. Might lead to the destruction of the nation...

My wife wore a $30 dress (purchased on half-off day at the thrift store) to our same-sex wedding. A retired seamstress neighbor charged only $10 for alterations. We were relieved, post-reception, to find the world still standing. Pat Robertson had really overestimated our powers.

In all seriousness, her dress choice scandalized some of her spendier colleagues. A few of them spent more on dresses than we would spend on a car.

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #102 on: September 16, 2019, 08:17:22 AM »
Quote
Why? Because it is one of the few tangible reminders (besides our wedding photos that are sitting idly on my husband's MAC somewhere) that I have of a day that was 10 years in the making and meant more to me than any other that came before it.
My husband is pretty good tangible reminder of my wedding day. When I find myself forgetting about that day- I poke him in the face, and I think "oh right, he's real, we got married. Good party."

HAH! Love this.

There is a direct correlation in my extended family between cheapness of wedding (per head - not necessarily number of guests invited) and length/successfulness of marriage. I noted this when we got married and my parents spent maybe 200-300 on my dress (mother insisted I have a new one, so I got a sensible navy knee-length one), prepared food and booze for 15 people.  We're not big party/centre-of-attention people anyway, and the available data just confirmed me in that choice.

Not true in my family. On the Greek side (and even my non-Greek grandparents) many many of them had big weddings some of them quite expensive, and all still married, some 50 + years later or widowed. otoh my cousin secretly got married, and they broke up. Same thing in my case I eloped, got divorced 20 years later. Lil brother just got married at courthouse, divorced 2 years later.  I think in my case one thing I learned is while I'm not planning on getting married, but if I did I would make it more official. I would inform my parents ahead of time, talk with them and get their blessings. I would have my friends and family there. That is important to me.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2019, 08:19:44 AM by partgypsy »

shelivesthedream

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #103 on: September 16, 2019, 09:45:02 AM »
That's sort of a different category in my mind. I'm thinking disco and buffet in the church hall vs marquee and five courses at a stately home. Not sneaking away so your per guest cost is 0 because you don't have any!

Imma

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #104 on: September 16, 2019, 09:47:04 AM »
Quote
Why? Because it is one of the few tangible reminders (besides our wedding photos that are sitting idly on my husband's MAC somewhere) that I have of a day that was 10 years in the making and meant more to me than any other that came before it.
My husband is pretty good tangible reminder of my wedding day. When I find myself forgetting about that day- I poke him in the face, and I think "oh right, he's real, we got married. Good party."

HAH! Love this.

There is a direct correlation in my extended family between cheapness of wedding (per head - not necessarily number of guests invited) and length/successfulness of marriage. I noted this when we got married and my parents spent maybe 200-300 on my dress (mother insisted I have a new one, so I got a sensible navy knee-length one), prepared food and booze for 15 people.  We're not big party/centre-of-attention people anyway, and the available data just confirmed me in that choice.

Not true in my family. On the Greek side (and even my non-Greek grandparents) many many of them had big weddings some of them quite expensive, and all still married, some 50 + years later or widowed. otoh my cousin secretly got married, and they broke up. Same thing in my case I eloped, got divorced 20 years later. Lil brother just got married at courthouse, divorced 2 years later.  I think in my case one thing I learned is while I'm not planning on getting married, but if I did I would make it more official. I would inform my parents ahead of time, talk with them and get their blessings. I would have my friends and family there. That is important to me.

So in your family, it sounds like the ones who married in a non-traditional way were the ones who maybe chose partners that were somehow not suitable for them and avoided the traditional wedding because not everyone in the family approved of the choice of partner? (Maybe I'm assuming to much). I can imagine that in a situation of normal family dynamics, having several people disapprove of your partner is a big red flag. People who choose a more traditional life are probably also less likely to get divorced even if they have a difficult marriage.

We are planning to elope because we come from families with unhealthy dynamics and don't want them to ruin our wedding. We don't care too much about many things but I'm also a little bit afraid I'd regret a too informal wedding ceremony. It's still a really big thing.

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #105 on: September 16, 2019, 12:51:04 PM »
That's the thing about eloping. You are doing it to avoid family, but the flip side you are avoiding/not including family. In my case I was accepted by my ex's parents and family in general and ended up doing many holidays, vacations with them. My family not that they didn't necessarily accept him, they were too involved in other non-fun crap (divorce, my older brother, financial stress) to both do stuff or to be there for me starting sometime around college. I started dating him and we moved together to another state. Ended up getting eloped. I don't know if it made a difference but Dad was hurt especially us doing things non-traditionally, that for example my ex never talked to him about him of his intentions of marrying me to get his blessing.  (Actually don't think Dad and ex ever sat down and talked, even though we were together 5,6 years before getting married). In the same way he was never explicitly included in say family occasions on my side because my family was a bit of a mess and didn't plan things, he would have been completely welcome if he came with me when I came to visit, and course he was invited to official things like weddings, funerals (the vast majority he chose not to attend). At some point when we were breaking up he said that he never felt accepted by my family. At the same time, he didn't really try either. I would like to say two people make their own world and life together, but family is a big part of people's lives and it is really hard to ignore even if you don't live nearby. And the fact that I attended many family events solo, probably solidified people's impressions that we were having marital problems even though I didn't think we were, to the extent my aunt advised me when I visited solo with my less than 1 year old child (funeral) that I shouldn't have a 2nd child. I was really offended at the time though possibly a bit prescient in retrospect.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2019, 02:22:20 PM by partgypsy »

Imma

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #106 on: September 16, 2019, 02:24:53 PM »
That actually sounds painfully familiar even though we are not even married yet :(

We live away from both our families. Both sets of parents went through a nasty divorce. We are not in touch with two parents: one parent's choice (they demanded kid pick their side in the divorce) one child's choice (domestic violence). A third parent is now anti-marriage and we do believe it would be too painful to only have one parent there, which is why we want to elope.

In our case my family has never been around much for me because they were busy with their own lives. There are no big problems but we aren't super close because we're all so busy living our own lives in our own cities. We try to meet up every now and then but my s/o is rarely there - he wouldn't be unwelcome but he's never specifically invited either and most of these gatherings are planned when he is at work. There are never any family occasions from his side so meeting up with family isn't something he's used to or cares much for, although he turns up when I specifically ask him. They are not particularly interested in him either, my family doesn't show when invited to his birthday or special occasions. Because I'm usually alone at these occasions I've noticed people don't even ask about him anymore, they figure we must have issues.

My family know where to find my s/o when they have tech issues though. They don't seem to dislike him.

I always used to dream of a big closeknit family as a kid but I guess that's never going to happen.

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #107 on: September 16, 2019, 03:11:50 PM »
That actually sounds painfully familiar even though we are not even married yet :(

We live away from both our families. Both sets of parents went through a nasty divorce. We are not in touch with two parents: one parent's choice (they demanded kid pick their side in the divorce) one child's choice (domestic violence). A third parent is now anti-marriage and we do believe it would be too painful to only have one parent there, which is why we want to elope.

In our case my family has never been around much for me because they were busy with their own lives. There are no big problems but we aren't super close because we're all so busy living our own lives in our own cities. We try to meet up every now and then but my s/o is rarely there - he wouldn't be unwelcome but he's never specifically invited either and most of these gatherings are planned when he is at work. There are never any family occasions from his side so meeting up with family isn't something he's used to or cares much for, although he turns up when I specifically ask him. They are not particularly interested in him either, my family doesn't show when invited to his birthday or special occasions. Because I'm usually alone at these occasions I've noticed people don't even ask about him anymore, they figure we must have issues.

My family know where to find my s/o when they have tech issues though. They don't seem to dislike him.

I always used to dream of a big closeknit family as a kid but I guess that's never going to happen.

I'm sorry. I am lucky that even though my parents divorced, neither got remarried we all get together amicably for holidays and get togethers. While I don't think couples have to do everything 100%, I think it is an important thing for a) include your family in your life and b) have your spouse be there for you as your partner when visiting family, and vice versa. Ditto for things that are important to you, whether they are funerals, reunions etc. My ex always made it seem like he was doing me a favor to not visit when I went up to see my family, like go ahead enjoy your family time without me. But it became ingrained. Even when I WANTED him to be there, for him to develop a relationship with my family, and also simply to have his support at various events including my high school reunion, he opted out.
So I regret in some ways how I handled it. I thought I was being an independent woman, but really was getting an absentee husband. I don't know the answer but I do wish I spoke up more in situations that mattered to me. 
« Last Edit: September 16, 2019, 03:14:23 PM by partgypsy »

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #108 on: September 16, 2019, 04:57:49 PM »
I hate it when people do their absolute best to avoid contact with one's extended family or social network and then bitch about "not being included". To me, not wanting to interact with a partner's family is a gigantic red flag. Sometimes it means that there's a lot of family dysfunction, but if there are more than about a dozen people you can generally find one or two that click well enough to justify at least a social media friendship. When a partner, or prospective partner, fails to create a relationship with even one member of one's family or extended network, that's an indicator that they do not wish to interact. It's reasonable to do that, if a group of people is toxic enough, but the person declining to form a relationship should at least own their decision to maintain the distance.

My response to complaints like these (when I hear them from my daughter) is usually: "You did your absolute best to make sure you didn't participate and build a relationship. These other people have made good faith efforts to make friends with you. You're the one who chose to turn down invitations, cancel at the last minute, not show up, not return texts or phone calls, not respond to letters and E-mail, and not issue any invitations of your own. Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining: you're not the victim here. After years of snubbing these people and treating them like something you'd scrape off the bottom of your shoes, they've gotten the message that you don't like them or value them. By now the feeling is probably mutual, and if they do have negative feelings toward you based on how you've treated them, you've earned that. You have exactly the relationship with them that you wanted, so it's a little bit late to complain now, and don't you dare blame them for responding to your very clear message that you went to such great lengths to deliver."

One thing healthy couples do is spend time with each other's families and social networks, especially after they get engaged or married. These might be bio-families or families of choice, but the important thing is that both halves of the couple are integrated and nobody feels like a third wheel. Without a shared community of some kind, there isn't a lot of support for the marriage. The best way to form a social relationship in a shared community is to be in the same place at the same time. This happens when people accept invitiations and issue at least a few of their own. Failing that, there's always correspondence, telephone, and social media. There will always be some people you click with better than others but to have a relationship with none of a partner's friends, co-workers, family, or other associates-- or for them to not one with yours-- is a very bad sign. It's evidence that the person resisting integration into a (basically healthy and positive) community simply doesn't have a long-term investment in the community member they're trying to date or marry.

Imma

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #109 on: September 17, 2019, 02:38:00 AM »
In our case it's luckily not that black and white - my s/o is close to my friends and he does join me for Christmas when he can (he works in hospitality so it's not always possible, but I know he always tries) we haven't had a family funeral for 15 years or a family wedding in my lifetime but I'm sure he'd come along. He likes visiting my grandma, goes to her birthday every year and took time off work to help her out. He's no bad guy. But the word community is something that struck me - that's what's missing. We are just a couple in a house together and we have lots of friends but we aren't part of something bigger and certainly not of something called a family.

Outside of Christmas the only real tradition my family has is mother's day lunch but partners aren't invited to that one. Sometimes my mum invites me for dinner on a short notice but that's always when he's working so he doesn't get the chance to join. In his family we only occasionally meet up with some relatives one on one, they don't have real family occasions ever. I have tried to invite family over and start new traditions but it seems no one is really interested in that. I feel like I'm trying really hard but there's just a mutual disinterest at this point that seems impossible to get over.

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #110 on: September 17, 2019, 08:01:25 AM »
In our case it's luckily not that black and white - my s/o is close to my friends and he does join me for Christmas when he can (he works in hospitality so it's not always possible, but I know he always tries) we haven't had a family funeral for 15 years or a family wedding in my lifetime but I'm sure he'd come along. He likes visiting my grandma, goes to her birthday every year and took time off work to help her out. He's no bad guy. But the word community is something that struck me - that's what's missing. We are just a couple in a house together and we have lots of friends but we aren't part of something bigger and certainly not of something called a family.

Outside of Christmas the only real tradition my family has is mother's day lunch but partners aren't invited to that one. Sometimes my mum invites me for dinner on a short notice but that's always when he's working so he doesn't get the chance to join. In his family we only occasionally meet up with some relatives one on one, they don't have real family occasions ever. I have tried to invite family over and start new traditions but it seems no one is really interested in that. I feel like I'm trying really hard but there's just a mutual disinterest at this point that seems impossible to get over.

What you have is a group of friends. I call that "family of choice". You'll do fine. There's no law that says you "must" have large group activities, but everyone needs a network of other people with whom they feel comfortable.

MarciaB

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #111 on: September 17, 2019, 12:17:02 PM »
I bought my wedding dress on etsy for 38$ and sold it back to ebay afterwards for a profit haHAH! Plus this was before i knew about MMM

You win the prize! Fabulous story.

And I simply can't get enough of these wedding train wreck stories. They're the gift that keeps on giving (to this forum and my twisted sense of humor).

saguaro

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #112 on: September 18, 2019, 10:39:48 AM »
Outside of Christmas the only real tradition my family has is mother's day lunch but partners aren't invited to that one. Sometimes my mum invites me for dinner on a short notice but that's always when he's working so he doesn't get the chance to join. In his family we only occasionally meet up with some relatives one on one, they don't have real family occasions ever. I have tried to invite family over and start new traditions but it seems no one is really interested in that. I feel like I'm trying really hard but there's just a mutual disinterest at this point that seems impossible to get over.

I hear you on this.  Family traditions can vary widely.    In my family, we celebrate just about everything but DH's family just doesn't have real family occasions now.   Back when we were first married, they did the typical holidays of Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving but things like birthdays, graduations, etc. was done more one on one.  Birthday and graduation parties were just Mom, Dad, one set of grandparents, DH and his sister, DH never had the bigger family celebrations that I had.  This continued into the next generation with niece and nephew as well, they never had big birthday or graduation parties, in fact they were treated like they were non-events, really.  Even DH and I, who were their only aunt and uncle, did not attend a graduation party until the nephew graduated college and that was only because of his sister.   Niece tried to change things after she had her own kids with some new traditions in the family but quit after a few years.   Earlier in our marriage, I offered to host the holidays, but no one wanted that, there were all sorts of reasons why we couldn't do that.   After a couple of tries, DH told me to not offer again, it was obvious they were not interested in doing anything different.

I hate it when people do their absolute best to avoid contact with one's extended family or social network and then bitch about "not being included". To me, not wanting to interact with a partner's family is a gigantic red flag. Sometimes it means that there's a lot of family dysfunction, but if there are more than about a dozen people you can generally find one or two that click well enough to justify at least a social media friendship. When a partner, or prospective partner, fails to create a relationship with even one member of one's family or extended network, that's an indicator that they do not wish to interact. It's reasonable to do that, if a group of people is toxic enough, but the person declining to form a relationship should at least own their decision to maintain the distance.

And IME it's not just about partners but also partner's family.  DH is considered a part of our family, he has made the effort to get to know them and gets on pretty well.   But his family is a whole different story, namely MIL and FIL complain that they "don't know our family" and "they are not included".  This is not because of a lack of effort on my family's end.

In our family, there generally is an effort to get to know a partner's family.   Usually a partner's parents are invited to major events like weddings.  We try to get together one on one.  We would attend their funerals.   Partner's family occasionally were at holidays depending on what was happening that day with the other side of that person's family.  As a result we got to know the other, aka in-law, side of a family member outside of mutual family events like a kid's birthday or graduation.  MIL and FIL were not treated differently, the difference was that they rarely attended, and had a tendency to back out after accepting an invitation.  My folks invited MIL and FIL to my sisters' weddings, they turned it down.   My folks made an effort to meet with them either at a restaurant or host them at their home.  It happened a couple of times but eventually it stopped because MIL would accept then back out at the last minute. The last time my folks invited them over to their house, MIL had one of her panics over "the weather" and backed a couple of hours before they were supposed to arrive.  Highly annoyed after cooking all day, Mom threw in the towel, I remember getting the phone call that day.  My parents attended funerals in DH's family, but MIL / FIL mustered only one attendance in 35 years, that to my grandmother's funeral 14 years ago.  They backed out last minute on coming to my Mom's memorial service which infuriated DH but I was not surprised.  They didn't even bother with my Dad's. 

So yes, they don't know my family and it's all on them.  But of course they don't own that, it's all excuses like "we see our family more than them" and we are playing "favorites" or some other reason that is always someone else's fault but it's never theirs.   For DH and me, we know they are not just interested, they did not want to put in the effort and believe me, my folks tried to to make things as effortless as possible in order to get to know them and include them in things.  They just didn't want to bother so this is the end result.
 
« Last Edit: September 18, 2019, 11:36:42 AM by saguaro »

Just Joe

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #113 on: September 18, 2019, 11:08:16 AM »
I bought my wedding dress on etsy for 38$ and sold it back to ebay afterwards for a profit haHAH! Plus this was before i knew about MMM

You win the prize! Fabulous story.

And I simply can't get enough of these wedding train wreck stories. They're the gift that keeps on giving (to this forum and my twisted sense of humor).

The peek into everyone's family is interesting too. Seems like many folks have families with rough edges.

elliha

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #114 on: September 18, 2019, 12:34:56 PM »
Our whole wedding was about 200 dollars but we only had three guests and cooked our own food. I still smile from ear to ear when I look at pictures of us at that wedding. It has been 7 years and 10 years as a couple now. No one in my family ever had a very fancy wedding but most were not as extremely frugal as we were. Divorces are rare and many people have had 30-50+ year marriages. My sister for example is still married to her husband and they met at 15 and 17 and married when they were in their early twenties and are now in their late fifties.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #115 on: September 18, 2019, 01:08:10 PM »
Our whole wedding was about 200 dollars but we only had three guests and cooked our own food. I still smile from ear to ear when I look at pictures of us at that wedding. It has been 7 years and 10 years as a couple now. No one in my family ever had a very fancy wedding but most were not as extremely frugal as we were. Divorces are rare and many people have had 30-50+ year marriages. My sister for example is still married to her husband and they met at 15 and 17 and married when they were in their early twenties and are now in their late fifties.

One of my favourite things about our wedding are the totally crap photos. My grandmother took them with her new-ish digital camera. The classic one is the one of us cutting the cake where the top two-thirds of Mr SLTD's head is missing (I'm short, he's tall, I guess she focused on the one she thought was important!). Various other "surprise!" snaps of people with their mouths open, etc. They really make me smile!

AMandM

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #116 on: September 18, 2019, 04:41:17 PM »
One of my favourite things about our wedding are the totally crap photos.

Our photographer was a friend who volunteered his services as a gift. Little did I know he was a wildlife photographer and didn't know thing one about event photography. Then on the day of he forgot some crucial piece of equipment, so we had very few pictures anyway except for some snapshots sent to us afterwards by guests (this was long before digital cameras). My favourite is one of my father carrying in the cake, taken by someone who must have leaned over at an angle to get the shot; it looks like the cake is about to tip over and knock my father on his bum.

Dicey

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #117 on: September 30, 2019, 09:19:56 AM »
^ No idea what Ollie's is, but David's didn't close down, they just restructured in their bankruptcy
Here is a question; is it mustachian or nonmustachian to buy a wedding dress (way) ahead of time? because it costs say 50 or less and looks great on you? It also fit my 16 year old daughter, but would have needed to be taken in at the waist a bit.
A friend of mine did it. She wasn't dating anyone, but found a dress she loved and bought it. She eventually met a guy, got married in the dress and they're still going strong nearly forty years later.

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #118 on: September 30, 2019, 03:22:18 PM »
Pics from my wedding are not the best, because they were from a disposable camera with some defect so that stretched out the top part of the photos so we have slight coneheads. Not sure if we even kept them. There were a couple photos taken on the beach that aren't too bad bc our heads aren't on the top of the pic. It would have been nice to have a tradiional portrait but oh well.

Sugaree

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #119 on: October 02, 2019, 09:38:25 AM »
We hired a husband-and-wife team who were just starting out to do our wedding.  My spreadsheet tells me that they charged $950 for everything except prints, which they gave us the release to print our own.  They did a fantastic job.  We didn't have a whole lot of traditional portraits done, but a lot of photojournalistic style action shots.  I was extremely pleased with how it turned out.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #120 on: October 02, 2019, 11:48:41 AM »
The main thing is that the dress can't cost less than the cake, so maybe if we're on a budget, that would mean starting at $5,000. Also, if you're on the East Coast, it should be (1) engagement party at mom's beach house, (2) bachelor/ette parties that require a flight, and (3) rehearsal dinner in the South Hampton.

I speak from experience. My wife and I didn't do any of those things. Our actual marriage was decided a day in advance, and then at a courthouse on a Friday the 13th. She wore a red fiesta dress and my parents brought me a suit from NY to TX that didn't quite fit like it had the year before. 5 months later we had the originally planned party in New York, and when I spent the night before that wedding playing Risk with my cousins, it was just like oh no, this will never work. Where are the cop-hookers and cocaine? And then we had a ceremony and party on the first Sunday afternoon in January because it was such a great deal, not some significant date to us that, in all actuality, meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.

15 years later, all I have are regrets and you guys.

HMman

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #121 on: October 03, 2019, 07:39:53 AM »
The main thing is that the dress can't cost less than the cake, so maybe if we're on a budget, that would mean starting at $5,000. Also, if you're on the East Coast, it should be (1) engagement party at mom's beach house, (2) bachelor/ette parties that require a flight, and (3) rehearsal dinner in the South Hampton.

I speak from experience. My wife and I didn't do any of those things. Our actual marriage was decided a day in advance, and then at a courthouse on a Friday the 13th. She wore a red fiesta dress and my parents brought me a suit from NY to TX that didn't quite fit like it had the year before. 5 months later we had the originally planned party in New York, and when I spent the night before that wedding playing Risk with my cousins, it was just like oh no, this will never work. Where are the cop-hookers and cocaine? And then we had a ceremony and party on the first Sunday afternoon in January because it was such a great deal, not some significant date to us that, in all actuality, meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.

15 years later, all I have are regrets and you guys.

You didn't have hookers and cocaine with your game of Risk? No wonder you have regrets.

mm1970

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #122 on: October 03, 2019, 01:49:20 PM »
One of my favourite things about our wedding are the totally crap photos.

Our photographer was a friend who volunteered his services as a gift. Little did I know he was a wildlife photographer and didn't know thing one about event photography. Then on the day of he forgot some crucial piece of equipment, so we had very few pictures anyway except for some snapshots sent to us afterwards by guests (this was long before digital cameras). My favourite is one of my father carrying in the cake, taken by someone who must have leaned over at an angle to get the shot; it looks like the cake is about to tip over and knock my father on his bum.
Apparently a hs classmate of mine is a photographer now.  She recently posted photos of a wedding she did - one of the photos was the "unplugged" wedding sign, requesting guests put away their cameras and phones and enjoy the ceremony.  Not a bad idea except...the photos are all sort of ...fuzzy.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #123 on: October 03, 2019, 02:08:16 PM »
One of my favourite things about our wedding are the totally crap photos.

Our photographer was a friend who volunteered his services as a gift. Little did I know he was a wildlife photographer and didn't know thing one about event photography. Then on the day of he forgot some crucial piece of equipment, so we had very few pictures anyway except for some snapshots sent to us afterwards by guests (this was long before digital cameras). My favourite is one of my father carrying in the cake, taken by someone who must have leaned over at an angle to get the shot; it looks like the cake is about to tip over and knock my father on his bum.
Apparently a hs classmate of mine is a photographer now.  She recently posted photos of a wedding she did - one of the photos was the "unplugged" wedding sign, requesting guests put away their cameras and phones and enjoy the ceremony.  Not a bad idea except...the photos are all sort of ...fuzzy.

A good photographer or videographer can definitely make the process look easy, but there's a lot of craft to it. Hopefully the fuzzy pictures your friend posted were deliberately fuzzed or blurred to deter people from stealing the product by downloading it for free on social media. Many photographers have to put a watermark on their photos when posting them online or when sending the customer their sample prints.

mm1970

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #124 on: October 04, 2019, 11:07:35 AM »
One of my favourite things about our wedding are the totally crap photos.

Our photographer was a friend who volunteered his services as a gift. Little did I know he was a wildlife photographer and didn't know thing one about event photography. Then on the day of he forgot some crucial piece of equipment, so we had very few pictures anyway except for some snapshots sent to us afterwards by guests (this was long before digital cameras). My favourite is one of my father carrying in the cake, taken by someone who must have leaned over at an angle to get the shot; it looks like the cake is about to tip over and knock my father on his bum.
Apparently a hs classmate of mine is a photographer now.  She recently posted photos of a wedding she did - one of the photos was the "unplugged" wedding sign, requesting guests put away their cameras and phones and enjoy the ceremony.  Not a bad idea except...the photos are all sort of ...fuzzy.

A good photographer or videographer can definitely make the process look easy, but there's a lot of craft to it. Hopefully the fuzzy pictures your friend posted were deliberately fuzzed or blurred to deter people from stealing the product by downloading it for free on social media. Many photographers have to put a watermark on their photos when posting them online or when sending the customer their sample prints.
No watermark.  I have a few local friends who have gotten into photography and started their businesses.  They use the watermark.