Ugh, I wish I was more mustachian and more willing to stand up to my parents when we got married. If I was getting married now, things would have been different!
I did buy the book Bridal Bargains, and I saved a lot on the crap that was "required". I got a lot of side eye for that book.
I had a destination wedding (Vegas), for maybe 30 people, b/c we lived in NY and there was no way I was spending $50K - $100K on a party filled with people I did not know or care about. Most family members refused to attend, and one said that only "damaged goods get married in Vegas".
While most of my friends spent $3K - $10K on their gowns, I went "cheap" at $650. It was a gorgeous dress, but I am one of those people who does not look great in white. I found a cream colored two piece silk number I absolutely adored (and I could re-use after!), but my Mom was paying for the dress so she could control what I wore, and there was no way cream was going to fly. My dress had silver embroidery on it, and even that was tough for her to swallow.
After the wedding, I had the dress laundered and preserved, wasting another $200 on that process. Years later, I sold the dress on Ebay and got $40 for it. Sucks that the auction didn't go higher, but I did learn why they don't want you breaking the seal on that preservation bull. My dress had a white satin strip around the base of the dress, and the train had gotten dirty just by walking over the carpeting in the casino - I never wore the dress outside. It didn't look like there was any effort made to clean that part of the dress!
Many lessons learned, and none of them contributed to the success of our marriage, 5 months away from the big 15 year anniversary!!