Author Topic: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?  (Read 26296 times)

dogboyslim

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #50 on: April 08, 2016, 02:53:14 PM »
Our wedding in the 90s was about $5k for about 100 guests.  That included, in order of expense: Reception hall (including food/open bar & suite for the night.), Rehearsal Dinner, Flowers/Dress (I can't remember what was more but they were close), DJ, Cake, Invitations.

If I remember right, her dress plus accouterments was about $300, and the alterations were about $200.  I'm not sure if that was cheap enough to cheapen our marriage, but we're still going after 3 kids and 18 years.

SewingmyStache

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #51 on: April 08, 2016, 04:54:36 PM »
I think the article has it backwards.  Fast fashion is perfect for wedding dresses that will only be worn once.  There's no need for durable fabrics or stitching that will hold up for long term wear.  It makes much more sense to spend more money on clothing that will be worn again and again.  I wore a dress that I had worn to several parties for my wedding. 

I've always lived in Texas and all weddings I went to were just punch and cake until the mid-80s.  I was a married adult before I knew that meals were served at weddings.  I just had punch and cake, but my sister who married 12 years later had two receptions - the first at the church with punch and cake and a second one later at a hotel with a buffet.  The older, Baptist, non-drinking relatives were only invited to the first.  They wouldn't have gone to the second because there was liquor (beer and wine).

Lanthiriel

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #52 on: April 08, 2016, 05:09:22 PM »
I just had a coworker today tell me he spent more than $100,000 on his daughter's special day. I sort of just stared at him shell-shocked. I think he wanted to be congratulated.

I had an Asian themed wedding for no other reason than when we were checking out a venue, we found an old Japanese-style train station in the middle of a Japanese garden and thought it was gorgeous. I wore a cheongsam-style dress that I bought in China Town in New York for $18. We saved A TON of money by having red, gold, and black as our wedding colors. I think the total for our wedding was about $4500, which was split evenly among my parents (venue and food), my MIL (photographer), and us (everything else). My sister outdid me, though, and had my mom get ordained online and had a quickie wedding in a park. So far both marriages are going strong :)

MrsPete

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #53 on: April 08, 2016, 06:32:58 PM »
I think the article has it backwards.  Fast fashion is perfect for wedding dresses that will only be worn once.  There's no need for durable fabrics or stitching that will hold up for long term wear. 
I've always thought the same thing!  Why does quality matter in a one-time use dress? 

MrsPete

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #54 on: April 08, 2016, 06:37:14 PM »
I think the article has it backwards.  Fast fashion is perfect for wedding dresses that will only be worn once.  There's no need for durable fabrics or stitching that will hold up for long term wear. 
I've always thought the same thing!  Why does quality matter in a one-time use dress? 

We went out this afternoon and had some moderate luck:  Several nice dresses in the $250 range, but none were "the one".  I really liked a $129 dress on the clearance rack, but it was the last one and too small. 
« Last Edit: April 09, 2016, 02:45:47 PM by MrsPete »

Ralph2

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #55 on: April 08, 2016, 08:09:06 PM »
My wedding was in the local rotunda, reception at wife's parents house. Not a lot of cost involved at all.

however there are a large number of venues in the valley region that include wedding venues that are also motels/resorts where the wedding includes paid accommodation for all guests who wish to stay overnight.
Not uncommon for the all up price to go over $50k.

Not to mention chartered flights and resort weddings in Fiji etc. Would hate see the all up cost when it includes 3 - 4 nights accommodation for all.

hernandz

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #56 on: April 09, 2016, 01:34:47 PM »
Someday I will have ask my mom if she remembers what her wedding dress cost.  It was bought in 1959 for her wedding, then lent to my godmother for her wedding in 1960, and then in 1989, I ruthlessly had it remodeled for my wedding.  Knowing the relative poverty of my parents and grandparents, I have no trouble believing that my grandmother traded some labor or schmoozed in order to get a discount on the dress. 

MrsPete

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #57 on: April 09, 2016, 02:48:57 PM »
I think the article has it backwards.  Fast fashion is perfect for wedding dresses that will only be worn once.  There's no need for durable fabrics or stitching that will hold up for long term wear. 
I've always thought the same thing!  Why does quality matter in a one-time use dress? 

We went out this afternoon and had some moderate luck:  Several nice dresses in the $250 range, but none were "the one".  I really liked a $129 dress on the clearance rack, but it was the last one and too small.
Update:  My daughter came home and kept talking about one of the more expensive dresses she tried on.  We went online to check it out -- yep, someone's selling one on ebay, her size, unaltered $57 ... INCLUDING a slip and a veil.  Wish me luck; it'll be a few days 'til we know whether we win it and just how much it'll end up costing.

brycedoula

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #58 on: April 09, 2016, 07:24:05 PM »
Yikes! My marriage is definitely "cheapened", then.

I bought my dress @ David's Bridal (how common!) & sold it the next year for about 50% of the price I paid. My reasons for selling were twofold: A) sell before it goes out of style; B) it's only taking up space in a small house.

And I truly wanted to buy my wedding dress used, but was unable to find the style I wanted (tea length) in the right size (shipping/duty from USA to Canada often negates the "good deals" available online).

MrsTuxedocat

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #59 on: April 09, 2016, 11:10:03 PM »
Ugh, I'd like to say that I am surprised by this article but it seems to be common today. Along the same vein as I need a large diamond ring to signify my fiancé love. Total crap!

My wedding dress was just under $300. It was a custom made mermaid style dress shipped directly from the factory in China.

Penny Lane

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #60 on: April 10, 2016, 09:32:59 AM »
I cannot understand all this overspending/overplanning on weddings.  Buy land, people, if you have extra $$$.

My wedding dress was under $200 at Laura Ashley, the reception was catered by a friend at our 18th century farmhouse after the ceremony at our uni chapel.  Our 30th is next month.  We have been FI for a long time.  I cannot imagine having debt related to a wedding going into a marriage.

pbkmaine

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Penny Lane

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #62 on: April 10, 2016, 09:44:10 AM »
PBK, that was truly awesome!  The crochet world beyond doilies!!  I knew a very clever beautiful young women years ago who used her grandmother's lovely old linen napkins to piece together a stunning gown.  Be a bit chilly to wear up hear in ME though.

Meowmalade

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Seppia

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #64 on: April 10, 2016, 10:07:58 AM »
I just learned that at least in the United States it is common practice to get into debt to purchase an engagement ring, so nothing here surprises me.

nereo

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #65 on: April 10, 2016, 10:48:20 AM »
I cannot understand all this overspending/overplanning on weddings.  Buy land, people, if you have extra $$$.

Land... as in for a farm?  Or as an investment? Why not an REIT?  I'm confused...

KodeBlue

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #66 on: April 10, 2016, 11:32:10 AM »
I've always lived in Texas and all weddings I went to were just punch and cake until the mid-80s.  I was a married adult before I knew that meals were served at weddings.
I grew up in TX (Brownsville-So.Padre Island area) and same here.

pbkmaine

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #67 on: April 10, 2016, 12:42:52 PM »
PBK, that was truly awesome!  The crochet world beyond doilies!!  I knew a very clever beautiful young women years ago who used her grandmother's lovely old linen napkins to piece together a stunning gown.  Be a bit chilly to wear up hear in ME though.

In Maine you'd want white velvet and snowshoes .

bobechs

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #68 on: April 10, 2016, 12:51:00 PM »
I cannot understand all this overspending/overplanning on weddings.  Buy land, people, if you have extra $$$.

Land... as in for a farm?  Or as an investment? Why not an REIT?  I'm confused...

I think what that means is buy land and people; then you can have a real fairy-tale Old South plantation-style wedding.

KodeBlue

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #69 on: April 10, 2016, 01:01:46 PM »
Wait...it's affordable wedding dresses that cheapen marriage? I thought it was same-sex marriage...

Seppia

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Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #70 on: April 10, 2016, 02:48:23 PM »
I cannot understand all this overspending/overplanning on weddings.  Buy land, people, if you have extra $$$.

Land... as in for a farm?  Or as an investment? Why not an REIT?  I'm confused...

What's the problem with farmland?
It's not my cup of tea but you can live off of it nicely if you put in the work.

Edit: I mean by producing your own food and selling the surplus to fund everyday expenses.
Could be a nice way to live fired life.

Something like this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyface_Farm
« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 02:50:24 PM by Seppia »

mountains_o_mustaches

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #71 on: April 10, 2016, 05:32:21 PM »
The wedding industrial complex is terrifying...
You know, I thought that ... but now my daughter and her friends are finishing college and entering "the wedding years" ... and I'm not seeing it in real life.  Oh, it's alive and well on the internet, but the girls I know personally -- and some of them are from wealthy families -- are making sensible, moderate plans for their big days: 
 now.  Again, when I was married, I'd only ever seen -- at most -- a single champagne toast, and that was rare.

Even if it's not alive in well in the folks you know it's DEFINITELY alive and well at the vendors for basically ANYTHING wedding related.  Wedding planning was a nightmare for me for this reason because 1) I was iffy about wanting a wedding in the first place 2) have been a tomboy most of my life 3) definitely did not want a princess-type wedding and 4) was sure as hell not spending an obscene amount of money on this thing.  Literally every vendor (save our awesome jeweler who didn't give us side eye when we talked about budget and wanting something simple and inexpensive for our wedding bands) started with the typical WIC hype and then when I'd talk about what I wanted (e.g., blue wedding dress, no bridesmaids or groomsmen, etc.) they would either try to convince me that I was making the worst decision of my life and/or treat me like I had the plague...

Seppia

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #72 on: April 11, 2016, 12:08:41 AM »
A strategy that worked for us was NOT to say it was a wedding.
It seems like caterers, florists and all merchants add an extra markup when it's a wedding.
We still spent an obscene amount of money (about $9000 all included), but the amount was significantly less than average.
We are Italians, so the wedding party is an important social event.
We would have been ok with zero party or "beers at a bar", but we did not want to humiliate our families, so we opted for a compromise.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #73 on: April 11, 2016, 08:24:16 AM »

Edit: I mean by producing your own food and selling the surplus to fund everyday expenses.
Could be a nice way to live fired life.


Instead of buying an expensive wedding dress?  Even if I take the entire cost of my spendy-pants wedding , I don't think I can buy much land. No one sells farm land by the quarter-acre... and a quarter-acre in my neighborhood costs almost 4 times my wedding.

And farming is effing hard work. And a small farm is very feast/famine.

nereo

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #74 on: April 11, 2016, 08:35:15 AM »
I cannot understand all this overspending/overplanning on weddings.  Buy land, people, if you have extra $$$.

Land... as in for a farm?  Or as an investment? Why not an REIT?  I'm confused...

What's the problem with farmland?
It's not my cup of tea but you can live off of it nicely if you put in the work.

Edit: I mean by producing your own food and selling the surplus to fund everyday expenses.
Could be a nice way to live fired life.

Something like this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyface_Farm

I don't have a problem with farmland, and I dream of (returning) to an existence where I'm able to provide >50% of my food.
I just didn't follow the poster's jump. 
It's as if someone asked the question "is spending a huge amount on a fancy renovation idiotic?" and the response was: "you should make your own pizza sauce!" To me it's complete non-sequitous.

If the point was that instead of spending money on a dress you should invest it by owning real-estate... i kinda (sorta) get where that was coming from.  Otherwise... I'm just baffled how owning land came out of discussion about the cost of a wedding dress.

Seppia

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #75 on: April 11, 2016, 08:42:37 AM »
Oh ok got it

Hunny156

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #76 on: April 11, 2016, 01:37:08 PM »
Ugh, I wish I was more mustachian and more willing to stand up to my parents when we got married.  If I was getting married now, things would have been different!

I did buy the book Bridal Bargains, and I saved a lot on the crap that was "required".  I got a lot of side eye for that book.

I had a destination wedding (Vegas), for maybe 30 people, b/c we lived in NY and there was no way I was spending $50K - $100K on a party filled with people I did not know or care about.  Most family members refused to attend, and one said that only "damaged goods get married in Vegas".

While most of my friends spent $3K - $10K on their gowns, I went "cheap" at $650.  It was a gorgeous dress, but I am one of those people who does not look great in white.  I found a cream colored two piece silk number I absolutely adored (and I could re-use after!), but my Mom was paying for the dress so she could control what I wore, and there was no way cream was going to fly.  My dress had silver embroidery on it, and even that was tough for her to swallow.

After the wedding, I had the dress laundered and preserved, wasting another $200 on that process.  Years later, I sold the dress on Ebay and got $40 for it.  Sucks that the auction didn't go higher, but I did learn why they don't want you breaking the seal on that preservation bull.  My dress had a white satin strip around the base of the dress, and the train had gotten dirty just by walking over the carpeting in the casino - I never wore the dress outside.  It didn't look like there was any effort made to clean that part of the dress!

Many lessons learned, and none of them contributed to the success of our marriage, 5 months away from the big 15 year anniversary!!

RetiredAt63

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #77 on: April 19, 2016, 10:36:57 AM »
The crocheter and the dress are on Ravelry.  Great story, gorgeous dress.  Size 30 crochet thread is killer.

https://www.theknot.com/content/this-bride-crocheted-her-wedding-dress-on-the-bus-to-work

My favorite wedding dress story ever.

Sugaree

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #78 on: September 12, 2019, 05:44:25 AM »

The wedding industrial complex is terrifying...
You know, I thought that ... but now my daughter and her friends are finishing college and entering "the wedding years" ... and I'm not seeing it in real life.  Oh, it's alive and well on the internet, but the girls I know personally -- and some of them are from wealthy families -- are making sensible, moderate plans for their big days: 
[snip]
you're very lucky. From the perspective of two people who have just recently gone through the 'wedding years' (including our own) I've been routinely appalled by what many considered 'acceptable'. Multi-day destination affairs (engagement party, wedding shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties... all of which can be pretty elaborate in their own right), choreographed entrance dances, costume changes (i.e. different clothes for the ceremony and later to dance in), 'send-off' brunch, rehearsal dinner (for far more people than are in the actual wedding, with open bar and music), unique party favors, photographer + videographer +drone operator + photobooth (literally - i've been to THREE weddings that had all of these in the last year). A wedding cake + groom cake.... holy crap that's a lot of stuff.

Very glad your girls haven't fallen into that trap. While stats like "the average wedding now costs $32k" (theknot.com) are highly biased, there are lots of weddings that really do cost at least this much. 

Quote
Where I do see them spending:
- Full meals seem to be "required" now.  When I was married, a punch-and-cake reception was considered average.
- Alcohol seems to be "required" now.  Again, when I was married, I'd only ever seen -- at most -- a single champagne toast, and that was rare.
- Photographers are outrageous these days; they seem to start at $1200.
Yeah - we were heavily pushed into having a full meal but held the line at making it buffet-style with party-sized takeout from a local bbq/smoke joint. We also ditched the champagne (shock! horror!) in lieu of beer/wine - people could toast with whatever they wanted to drink. Finding an outdoor venue that allowed us to provide our own alcohol was one of the biggest money savers of all (we just paid a $25 alcohol party permit, then homemade beer (donated as a wedding gift) and a two cases of wine we bought ourselves).

By our standards it was the most lavish party we've ever thrown, but the reception for part came in at under $1,000 (56 people) with dinner, booze, music and some hired college kids who did all the cleanup. Everyone seemed to love it, even our more traditional family members who were freaking out beforehand that it wouldn't be a 'special' occasion and were worried we were being 'too-cheap'.



You've just described my Brother-in-law and sister-in-law's wedding.  I would be shocked if that wedding ended up costing less than $100k by the time it was all said and done.  The number that my MIL mentioned for their part was $40k.  Rehearsal dinner for everyone in the wedding plus bride and groom's family (bride has 9 or 10 aunts and uncles).  Cocktail hour(s) during the Catholic gap then a plated meal with full bar.  The next morning there was a farewell breakfast (read: lots of hangover friendly food).  The bride's dress was $5k, although she says she got it at a trunk sale for closer to $1800.  I'm not sure I'm buying it because that was a brand new design that season(I was planning my own wedding then and loved that dress, but wasn't about to pay that). 


My own wedding early the next year was a bit different.  I would have been cool with eloping to Key West, but my husband wanted a wedding.  I did pay more than I should have for my dress.  Actually my MIL bought it.  It was $600.  It was red and beautiful.  And I got pregnant three weeks after buying it and had to have it severely altered to fit.  Oops.  It's still in my closet.  Every year I say I'm going to turn the skirt into a Christmas tree skirt, but I never get around to it.  I made my veil for under $10.  All a veil consists of is a haircomb and some fabric.  I bought silver tulle and added a edging of red beads to match my dress.  We rented a little lodge by a creek for the weekend.  It was outdoors in January and the lodge had these two huge outdoor fireplaces.  My husband spent months collecting, cutting, and splitting firewood.  The day of the wedding rolled around and it was 75 degrees.  We had one fireplace going because our non-cake dessert option was a smores bar and we needed coals.  Unfortunately, it meant that the poor officiant nearly passed out from standing in front of it.  After it was over, we sold the firewood and made enough money to pay for the lodge rental.  Some of the alcohol was the duty-free stuff my parents (and their friends who don't drink) brought back from a cruise.  The meal came from the caterer that I used to work for, so we got a good price on it.  We had food stations with little plates.  I also low-balled the number of people who were actually going to be there when I gave him my headcount.  We still ended up with WAY too much food.  I ordered my flowers wholesale and had them shipped to the house the day before the wedding (that was a little nervewracking because they ended up being delayed by my local FedEx).  I kept it simple with calla lilies and roses.  If I had it to do over again, I would have bought the stem stripper for the roses, but we got it done.  We ordered the cake from a well-known baker, but my husband and brother-in-law picked it up and I set it up rather than having it delivered.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 05:53:56 AM by Sugaree »

Sugaree

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #79 on: September 12, 2019, 05:49:12 AM »
A strategy that worked for us was NOT to say it was a wedding.
It seems like caterers, florists and all merchants add an extra markup when it's a wedding.
We still spent an obscene amount of money (about $9000 all included), but the amount was significantly less than average.
We are Italians, so the wedding party is an important social event.
We would have been ok with zero party or "beers at a bar", but we did not want to humiliate our families, so we opted for a compromise.

A friend of mine found that out when she talked to a grocery store about cupcakes.  They figured out that she wanted "wedding cupcakes" and suddenly the price went up like $1 each. 

Malkynn

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #80 on: September 12, 2019, 07:08:22 AM »
LOL!

That article is ridiculous, and I say this as someone who spent a lot of money on wedding clothes because I can be a vain fashion slut. How vanity relates to the sanctity of marriage??? I have no clue.

FindingFI

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #81 on: September 12, 2019, 07:31:41 AM »
It's still in my closet.  Every year I say I'm going to turn the skirt into a Christmas tree skirt, but I never get around to it.

What a great idea!

I got mine for $100.  I had spent months looking a bridesmaid dresses that could be ordered in white because the idea of dropping $1,000+ on a on-time dress seemed insane.  Then I heard about a few bridal shops have Black Friday sales the weekend after Thanksgiving, and thought "What the hell. Might as well give it a try!"  Went to a couple appointments, but still hadn't found the right one at a price I felt was reasonable.  Then at the last shop, I discovered the sample wall!  After a style gets discontinued, the bridal shop puts the sample dresses on the back wall at huge discounts because they are essentially useless to the store at that point.  And the perfect dress was hanging there! It was exactly what I had been looking for, in my size, and at a steal of a price. 

A year after the wedding it's still hanging on the back of a closet door and I haven't been able to decide what to do with it.  The bottom is covered in dirt and would cost more than I paid for the dress to maybe get most of it out at a cleaner. We had an outdoor ceremony and reception and it rained, so it's really kinda gross.  There is one perfect paw print from our dog walking across the dress during the ceremony that I have though about cutting out and framing with a copy of our vows, and then maybe hemming it to knee length and dyeing it into a cocktail dress. 

minerstache

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #82 on: September 12, 2019, 08:01:30 AM »
For my own wedding, I was excited to find the dress that I wore for 60% off. I told my brother who commented I shouldn't be telling people I was wearing a discount/sale wedding dress. WTF? who cares. I didn't ask any further about his comment but I still remember it and it was just weird.

Just Joe

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #83 on: September 12, 2019, 08:34:56 AM »

The wedding industrial complex is terrifying...
You know, I thought that ... but now my daughter and her friends are finishing college and entering "the wedding years" ... and I'm not seeing it in real life.  Oh, it's alive and well on the internet, but the girls I know personally -- and some of them are from wealthy families -- are making sensible, moderate plans for their big days: 
[snip]
you're very lucky. From the perspective of two people who have just recently gone through the 'wedding years' (including our own) I've been routinely appalled by what many considered 'acceptable'. Multi-day destination affairs (engagement party, wedding shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties... all of which can be pretty elaborate in their own right), choreographed entrance dances, costume changes (i.e. different clothes for the ceremony and later to dance in), 'send-off' brunch, rehearsal dinner (for far more people than are in the actual wedding, with open bar and music), unique party favors, photographer + videographer +drone operator + photobooth (literally - i've been to THREE weddings that had all of these in the last year). A wedding cake + groom cake.... holy crap that's a lot of stuff.

Very glad your girls haven't fallen into that trap. While stats like "the average wedding now costs $32k" (theknot.com) are highly biased, there are lots of weddings that really do cost at least this much. 

Quote
Where I do see them spending:
- Full meals seem to be "required" now.  When I was married, a punch-and-cake reception was considered average.
- Alcohol seems to be "required" now.  Again, when I was married, I'd only ever seen -- at most -- a single champagne toast, and that was rare.
- Photographers are outrageous these days; they seem to start at $1200.
Yeah - we were heavily pushed into having a full meal but held the line at making it buffet-style with party-sized takeout from a local bbq/smoke joint. We also ditched the champagne (shock! horror!) in lieu of beer/wine - people could toast with whatever they wanted to drink. Finding an outdoor venue that allowed us to provide our own alcohol was one of the biggest money savers of all (we just paid a $25 alcohol party permit, then homemade beer (donated as a wedding gift) and a two cases of wine we bought ourselves).

By our standards it was the most lavish party we've ever thrown, but the reception for part came in at under $1,000 (56 people) with dinner, booze, music and some hired college kids who did all the cleanup. Everyone seemed to love it, even our more traditional family members who were freaking out beforehand that it wouldn't be a 'special' occasion and were worried we were being 'too-cheap'.

$32K would make a nice dent in most folks' student loans or a nice down payment on a person's first house (around here) or condo.

Just Joe

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #84 on: September 12, 2019, 08:44:45 AM »
Wait...it's affordable wedding dresses that cheapen marriage? I thought it was same-sex marriage...

Just imagine affordable dresses at a same-sex marriage. Might lead to the destruction of the nation...

DW found a dress for $250 or so as I recall. Still has it.

I rented my tux.

We had alot of wedding expectations from our elders. We wanted cheap and outside under the trees. Elders wanted a nice reception and a nice church. We mostly let the elders plan it in the end.

The next time DW and I marry, we're taking a stand! ;)
« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 08:51:38 AM by Just Joe »

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #85 on: September 12, 2019, 08:58:38 AM »
If I ever had to get married, I'd insist on a Star Trek themed Betazoid wedding. That should cut down on both the garment expenses and the head count, although I suppose I'd have to slipcover the chairs at the reception.

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #86 on: September 12, 2019, 10:36:20 AM »
The wedding industrial complex is terrifying...

Exactly. Many stores such as David's Bridal would go out of business if there wasn't the status quo that a) you spend a lot of money on a bridal dress and b) you need to have a wedding with maid of honor various attendants, etc.

People still do want the beautiful wedding dress, but there are so many ways to get there. My sil found an antique wedding dress at a thrift store, I think it was 40, 50 dollars. She had to spend about 75 on alterations but it was absolutely stunning. I still remember when I was visiting Boston 20? years ago, someone said to visit Filenes Basement. It happened to be when they were having some kind of wedding dress sale.  Each time they brought out a new rack of dress, the crowd attacked it with a total frenzy, people grabbing multiple sizes, trying on dresses everywhere. I found the whole thing really funny given that brides are supposed to be reserved and demure but the spectacle alone was worth the price of admission.
And now we have Ollie's
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/02/ollies-bargain-outlets-wedding-gowns-sale-continue-to-draw-crowds-hundreds-and-hundreds-of-dresses-sold.html

 
« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 10:39:17 AM by partgypsy »

UnleashHell

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #87 on: September 12, 2019, 10:45:29 AM »
If I ever had to get married, I'd insist on a Star Trek themed Betazoid wedding. That should cut down on both the garment expenses and the head count, although I suppose I'd have to slipcover the chairs at the reception.

and a healthy tip for the cleaners afterwards.

Tuskalusa

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #88 on: September 12, 2019, 11:00:20 AM »
My wedding dress was the fanciest dress I’ve ever owned. I loved it. It was about $600. Between that and my heirloom wedding ring, we saved a bundle. We’ve been married for 21 years. Not bad, given the horrible mistake we made be spending so little...  ;-)

Kitsune

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #89 on: September 12, 2019, 11:25:40 AM »
If I ever had to get married, I'd insist on a Star Trek themed Betazoid wedding. That should cut down on both the garment expenses and the head count, although I suppose I'd have to slipcover the chairs at the reception.

Were I not already married, I would propose JUST FOR THAT. #inappropriate

Malkynn

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #90 on: September 12, 2019, 11:42:16 AM »
The wedding industrial complex is terrifying...

Exactly. Many stores such as David's Bridal would go out of business if there wasn't the status quo that a) you spend a lot of money on a bridal dress and b) you need to have a wedding with maid of honor various attendants, etc.

People still do want the beautiful wedding dress, but there are so many ways to get there. My sil found an antique wedding dress at a thrift store, I think it was 40, 50 dollars. She had to spend about 75 on alterations but it was absolutely stunning. I still remember when I was visiting Boston 20? years ago, someone said to visit Filenes Basement. It happened to be when they were having some kind of wedding dress sale.  Each time they brought out a new rack of dress, the crowd attacked it with a total frenzy, people grabbing multiple sizes, trying on dresses everywhere. I found the whole thing really funny given that brides are supposed to be reserved and demure but the spectacle alone was worth the price of admission.
And now we have Ollie's
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/02/ollies-bargain-outlets-wedding-gowns-sale-continue-to-draw-crowds-hundreds-and-hundreds-of-dresses-sold.html

 

I do believe the trend is changing though, which might explain why David's Bridal declared bankruptcy.

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #91 on: September 12, 2019, 12:50:55 PM »
The wedding industrial complex is terrifying...

Exactly. Many stores such as David's Bridal would go out of business if there wasn't the status quo that a) you spend a lot of money on a bridal dress and b) you need to have a wedding with maid of honor various attendants, etc.

People still do want the beautiful wedding dress, but there are so many ways to get there. My sil found an antique wedding dress at a thrift store, I think it was 40, 50 dollars. She had to spend about 75 on alterations but it was absolutely stunning. I still remember when I was visiting Boston 20? years ago, someone said to visit Filenes Basement. It happened to be when they were having some kind of wedding dress sale.  Each time they brought out a new rack of dress, the crowd attacked it with a total frenzy, people grabbing multiple sizes, trying on dresses everywhere. I found the whole thing really funny given that brides are supposed to be reserved and demure but the spectacle alone was worth the price of admission.
And now we have Ollie's
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/02/ollies-bargain-outlets-wedding-gowns-sale-continue-to-draw-crowds-hundreds-and-hundreds-of-dresses-sold.html

 

I do believe the trend is changing though, which might explain why David's Bridal declared bankruptcy.
Is that where Ollie's is getting their dresses?

ps if I ever got married again, we have a dress for success sales, where people donate very nice outfits. There was this gorgeous off white lace dress that fit both me and my older daughter for cheep! but I didn't want people think I was going crazy buying a wedding dress. In retrospect I kind of wish I snatched it. Could have been at least a good Halloween outfit!
« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 12:58:18 PM by partgypsy »

Malkynn

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #92 on: September 12, 2019, 01:00:40 PM »
^ No idea what Ollie's is, but David's didn't close down, they just restructured in their bankruptcy

partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #93 on: September 12, 2019, 01:02:18 PM »
^ No idea what Ollie's is, but David's didn't close down, they just restructured in their bankruptcy

Ollies is a bargain bin discount as seen on tv store, cheaper than Walmart. That's why the wedding dress sale is funny.

Here is a question; is it mustachian or nonmustachian to buy a wedding dress (way) ahead of time? because it costs say 50 or less and looks great on you? It also fit my 16 year old daughter, but would have needed to be taken in at the waist a bit. 

« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 01:14:38 PM by partgypsy »

LiveLean

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #94 on: September 13, 2019, 12:23:49 PM »

I've posted this before on similar threads...DW and I have attended two nudist weddings at a beautiful lakeside nudist resort near Orlando. Granted, second wedding for both couples, who all were between 35-50 -- and I should add all fitness-oriented, looked great.

Brides looked awesome with just accessories -- veils, garters, heels. Couples went with sheet cakes from Costco. Poolside deejay. Guests did not have to go nude -- it was clothing-optional - but the venue helped keep[ the guest list numbers down. There were wedding photographers but a specific designated lakeside area for photos. Most of us stayed at the resort's garden hotel rooms and brought our own booze.

I can't imagine the wedding cost either couple more than $1,000 and it was awesome. To hell with the wedding industry.


partgypsy

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #95 on: September 13, 2019, 12:54:11 PM »

I've posted this before on similar threads...DW and I have attended two nudist weddings at a beautiful lakeside nudist resort near Orlando. Granted, second wedding for both couples, who all were between 35-50 -- and I should add all fitness-oriented, looked great.

Brides looked awesome with just accessories -- veils, garters, heels. Couples went with sheet cakes from Costco. Poolside deejay. Guests did not have to go nude -- it was clothing-optional - but the venue helped keep[ the guest list numbers down. There were wedding photographers but a specific designated lakeside area for photos. Most of us stayed at the resort's garden hotel rooms and brought our own booze.

I can't imagine the wedding cost either couple more than $1,000 and it was awesome. To hell with the wedding industry.

I don't think nudist resorts are necessarily cheap, but I think the venue would keep the guest list down with appropriate cost savings! Myself not my thing. I'f I ever got married again want to have it at a place old people, young kids and people in between feel comfortable and welcome.

gatortator

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #96 on: September 13, 2019, 03:26:16 PM »
mine was a silver silk dress : $49 on ebay, $56 with shipping.  no veil,  $20 sandals from Target.  Spouse's suit cost more than my entire outfit.  donated the dress to a prom charity afterwards.  no regrets.

Imma

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #97 on: September 13, 2019, 04:19:48 PM »
You know what the worst part about expensive wedding dresses is? Many of them are actually terrible quality.

As a seamstress I can appreciate good tailoring and proper quality (although it feels like a bit of a waste to put in all that effort into a dress that's worn once) but I worked in a dry cleaner's as a teen and many really expensive dresses contained synthethic fabrics, had seams that suddenly broke, weren't colourfast etc. You're still wearing something mass produced made in China, except more expensive.

If you really want a heirloom dress, I'd suggest sewing your own. Also much more mustachian. A friend of mine had a dress sewn by a tailor and I was really surprised that her big white, custom wedding dress only cost about €800.

Bloop Bloop

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #98 on: September 13, 2019, 05:49:48 PM »
Surely it's time for some inverse snobbery, e.g., "We are comfortable financially and we also believe a marriage is about love so we don't see the need to be gauche for our wedding?" I'm surprised there is STILL this trend towards expensive weddings! Surely people were taught as children that showing off is vulgar?!?

TomTX

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Re: Affordable Wedding Dresses Cheapen Marriage?
« Reply #99 on: September 14, 2019, 04:52:30 PM »
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=11617715

This article just made me a bit angry. The idea that the significance and sanctity of your wedding is based on cost is terrible!

Well, actually it is.

As noted earlier, the author just got it backward: The more you blow on the wedding, the more likely you are headed for a failed marriage/divorce.