Author Topic: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?  (Read 17096 times)

ChiStache

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I've noticed a trend among my social circle. Irrational spending is often met with congratulations. A friend of my husband got a new BMW, and people patted him on the back and congratulated him. Another friend just upgraded from a two bedroom condo to a four bedroom condo (he lives alone), and again, lots of congrats. I even said, "CONGRATULATIONS!," and then felt a wave of antimustchian shame. I guess I should have just said nothing? Any thoughts on how to better approach these situations?

PolarBeer

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2013, 03:42:27 PM »
I've noticed the same. I make an effort to be honest now. Or, rather, more honest without anyone picking up on what I really think. So I'll try not to be rude and say things like "I bet its fast", or "I've heard that one got great reviews" etc.

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2013, 04:03:45 PM »
You could say what someone once told me when I said I was considering buying a new car.  "Well, you have a three-mile commute, so I can see why it would be important to have a nice car."

Lans Holman

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2013, 04:38:32 PM »
The logic of it is pretty simple.  "Fancy things= success".  What you need to remember is that's a complete worldview right there, and it's appealing, seductive, and very popular.  So it's not going to do any good just to be snarky with them about a specific example like the car or the condo.  That's like trying to convince someone to be an atheist by pointing out that the seats of their church aren't very comfortable. 
In the long run, you have to accept that lots of people are the way they are and aren't going to change, or you're just going to be walking around with the pounding-your-head-against-a-wall feeling all day long.  Lead by example and let people see you enjoying your life without all that junk and not stressing out about how to pay the bills at the end of the month.

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2013, 04:40:25 PM »
In all seriousness, not everyone has the same life goals that we mustachians have.  Some people want to own a nice car.  Misguided as it may be, it represents a certain level of achievement in their life plan.  You can express a congratulations of sorts without shame and just recognize that for this person, right now, this is a good day.  One day they may realize that the car isn't worth all the hard work it takes to pay for it, and they may then be receptive to your views on spending and saving.  But that day is not the day they buy a new BMW.  I say this as a someone who once owned a brand-new BMW.  I loved that car, and even though I would never do it again, I don't regret it for a second.  It's just not where I'm at in life now.   

Someone who is only *considering* buying a new car, on the other hand, feel free to use snark to dissuade them.

golden1

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2013, 06:22:10 PM »
The reverse of this is that I have people giving me odd looks at work when I tell a story about saving money.  I was really excited about a fabric chair and ottoman I found on Craig's list for $60.  People gave me the oddest looks when I mentioned it.  The chair was owned by a nice, young non-smoking couple who just couldn't fit it in their new apartment.  It is practically new.  I was psyched!  Some people were actually repulsed by the idea of buying used furniture.

AlmostIndependent

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2013, 07:41:59 PM »
I have a lot of spendy friends but they aren't disgusted by used purchases. They're usually jealous (but not enough to change their own habits.)

Dee 72013

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2013, 07:45:15 PM »
The reverse of this is that I have people giving me odd looks at work when I tell a story about saving money.  I was really excited about a fabric chair and ottoman I found on Craig's list for $60.  People gave me the oddest looks when I mentioned it.  The chair was owned by a nice, young non-smoking couple who just couldn't fit it in their new apartment.  It is practically new.  I was psyched!  Some people were actually repulsed by the idea of buying used furniture.

I have the same problem. My son tells me to stop telling friends that come in the house how much I bought something on Craig's list for. I tell everyone how much the furniture store sells the piece for and what I ended up paying.
I get a rush buying something on Craig's list that I've been wanting brand new and I 'd like some Kudos for the big savings but most friends have the mindset that buying used furniture isn't for them and they have been pretty vocal about it . Guess I should have lied and said I paid $$$ for the furniture because you can't tell it's not new.

DocCyane

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2013, 08:48:59 PM »
The reverse of this is that I have people giving me odd looks at work when I tell a story about saving money.

Same here. I try to share with people when I find a great deal and the response is usually a snarky, snotty, "I thought you were frugal and didn't buy things."

Yes, exactly. Because who the heck buys toilet paper and light bulbs.

blake201

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2013, 10:58:20 AM »
I had this problem recently and it ended with a big fight with my mom. My parents — who actually retired early thanks to good savings and many very Mustachian habits — just made a big about-face and bought a shiny bright red new car they can't really afford, and all their siblings and friends were like "wow, that's great, it's beautiful, you deserve it, etc."

My mom kept sending me pictures of the car and asking how I liked it and she even bought a little model red car for my daughter to play with. I REALLY tried to keep my mouth shut but finally I said: "Mom, dad—when I was growing up you always taught me that it was wasteful to buy new cars, and you always bought good-quality used cars. Why did you buy new?"

My parents got super upset and said something about a 7-year warranty and "we worked hard, we deserve nice things" and how the car has Bluetooth for their music and a sun roof.

These are the same parents who tried to teach me all the following as a kid (though I didn't always listen until later): Cook from scratch. Bike commute to work. Buy good quality items used that will last. Make it yourself. Never go into debt. DIY all your own home repairs and improvements. Why buy paper towels when you can use rags? Cable TV is a waste of money.

Oh well. I probably SHOULD have kept my mouth shut.

Conversely...One of my favorite things at work is getting complimented on my clothes and asked "where did you get that?"... because then I can say "I made it" or "I bought it at the thrift store for $1". But I also happen to work in a nonprofit where that is considered cool, and a good third of my coworkers bike to work, and torn T-shirts and jeans are acceptable office wear.


kyleaaa

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2013, 11:31:03 AM »
Here's a better question: what exactly about any of the purchases you mentioned is irrational? It sounds like they just have different goals than you do. Why WOULDN'T you congratulate somebody for achieving something consist with their own goals just because it conflicts with yours? If somebody really wants a BMW and is able to buy one, congratulations are certainly in order.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2013, 11:33:14 AM by kyleaaa »

tomsang

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2013, 11:44:28 AM »
Facebook correspondence verbatim:

Niece posts on Facebook with a picture of his new truck with the title: "I am ready to buy Chuck a truck! Poor guy has sacrificed all these years to buy me what I want or what's best for the kids. It's his turn! Ford f 350!!!"

Niece's Mom Says:  "Wow!! Have fun filling it with gas."

tomsang says:  "Unless you won the lottery. You are causing him to push back his retirement date 2-5 years. Poor guy is right:)"

Niece says, "Haha! Gas is not that bad out here:) I don't understand why that would push back his retirement? I think it would be worth it to him... He already puts in the max amount his company will match, it think its ten percent of each paycheck. I thought we were doing good!"

Tomsang says: "10% gets him retired in 51 years!! How could you do that to him!

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/
The Shockingly Simple Math Behind Early Retirement
www.mrmoneymustache.com"

Niece, says "Uncle tommy, I hope we win the lotto then:) I don't think Chuck will ever stop working. He's just one of those guys who needs a purpose, like working. You know I don't need help around here, so he feels like he is doing his part. I don't know how to explain it"

At this point my wiser wife, said it is time to put down the phone.

Niece, is providing her husband a purpose like working to pay for his and her toys.  Very noble of her!

It was a bit shocking there were only 2 likes and no real positive comments on the picture and caption.  I think the part of bragging about your extreme purchase is what gets me more fired up.  Facebook seems like a bragging forum.  The wife and I post like 1/3 of our trips, concerts, etc. as it seems a bit conceited.  Typically, others tag us on pictures, which is why 1/3 show up in Facebook.   

ChiStache

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2013, 11:55:19 AM »
Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. A lot of good insight here.

I appreciate that people have different goals. While I derive satisfaction from saving, others derive satisfaction from material things. And, I think it's absolutely true that I should be happy about anything that makes my friends happy.

The slight problem I have with this phenomenon, though, is that much of what we do as mustachians is often kept on the down low. Just look around the forum, there's loads of advice about how it's best to keep your wealth-building under wraps. So, I've learned not to expect any celebration of my thriftiness and savings. But, yet, I'm still expected to celebrate non-mustachian spending. That seems a little imbalanced to me.

But, I guess it all goes back to the occasional sense of isolation mustachians often talk about. I'm going to focus on my friends and try to be happy for them, even if the things they're doing wouldn't make me happy.

PindyStache

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2013, 12:30:39 PM »
One approach to consider might be asking some supportive but exploring questions. "Great, what drew you to that model?" "What have you enjoyed about the move?" etc. that is more focused on their thinking and decisions than the material item itself. You don't have to be dishonest with voicing false personal approval/validation, but you do show some degree of interest/empathy with them and can perhaps get them to open their thinking to some of the bigger "why" questions that relate to goals/lifestyle.

Undecided

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #14 on: August 29, 2013, 02:29:31 PM »

The slight problem I have with this phenomenon, though, is that much of what we do as mustachians is often kept on the down low. Just look around the forum, there's loads of advice about how it's best to keep your wealth-building under wraps. So, I've learned not to expect any celebration of my thriftiness and savings. But, yet, I'm still expected to celebrate non-mustachian spending. That seems a little imbalanced to me.


Well, everybody who works on a movie shows up in the credits, while most jobs are pretty anonymous. It's just the way it is.

tomsang

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #15 on: August 29, 2013, 02:43:42 PM »
The other approach is to celebrate with them with the exclamation, "Yea!!!!  Your spending is helping my portfolio!  Keep up the spending so my stocks will kick off bad ass dividends."  Come to think about it, I need to encourage more people to buy things. 

ChiStache

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2013, 03:02:10 PM »
Quote
The other approach is to celebrate with them with the exclamation, "Yea!!!!  Your spending is helping my portfolio!  Keep up the spending so my stocks will kick off bad ass dividends."  Come to think about it, I need to encourage more people to buy things.

Love this!

PolarBeer

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #17 on: August 29, 2013, 03:56:56 PM »
The other approach is to celebrate with them with the exclamation, "Yea!!!!  Your spending is helping my portfolio!  Keep up the spending so my stocks will kick off bad ass dividends."  Come to think about it, I need to encourage more people to buy things.

Though I bet many will not have the slightest idea what you mean.

FuckRx

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2013, 05:26:28 PM »

i don't think there is anything wrong with buying nice things and enjoying nice(r) things. if that's the way of like that one chose then i think it's ok. i wouldn't wanna be that person (yet another person) that goes around thinking that the right way is my way. granted, i would love for everyone to be responsible to the environment and to their neighbors etc. but i think it's even more important that everyone accepts there is a different way of doing it...

with that said, mustachiasm rules!

blake201

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #19 on: August 29, 2013, 09:48:52 PM »
Well... I DO think there is something wrong with buying too many nice things, especially if you are going into debt to do so. And the rapid pace at which people buy nice things (and then tire of them and buy newer, even nicer things) is totally unsustainable (for workers and the planet).

So I find these conversations really uncomfortable, but I do tend to just keep that to myself.

It's not true that biking is cool but car driving is just as cool if biking or public transport aren't your bag ... too much needless car driving and too many needless new cars are actually a huge problem.

FiveSigmas

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #20 on: August 29, 2013, 11:22:11 PM »
I've noticed the same. I make an effort to be honest now. Or, rather, more honest without anyone picking up on what I really think. So I'll try not to be rude and say things like "I bet its fast", or "I've heard that one got great reviews" etc.

+1. If someone's actually made the big purchase and seems happy with it, I don't think my 100% complete and honest opinion serves anyone. I'll find something nice to say instead.

If someone asks my opinion on a future big purchase, though, I'm a lot more willing to speak my mind.

huadpe

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #21 on: August 30, 2013, 10:40:50 AM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.  So when someone has a new car, I'll ask about what it costs, what some of the features are, if they borrowed and how much, etc.  I'm not gonna convince them that they've just wasted a ton of money, but if you ask about how many payments and how much they are, it can start the nagging at the back of their mind that later might blossom into rejecting a car loan in the future.

AlmostIndependent

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #22 on: August 30, 2013, 10:50:43 AM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.

My personal favorite; "how much is that bitch costin' ya?"

huadpe

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #23 on: August 30, 2013, 11:02:14 AM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.

My personal favorite; "how much is that bitch costin' ya?"

I want to watch what happens when the target's girlfriend/wife is standing next to the target.

CNM

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #24 on: August 30, 2013, 11:16:19 AM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.

My personal favorite; "how much is that bitch costin' ya?"

What?  I don't get the joke here.


Responding to the post, it is polite when someone shows you something they are proud of- be it a new grandchild or a new pair of shoes or a new chainsaw- to extend congratulations.  I don't think it means that you approve of whatever it is they spend their money on.  It's just like what we do around here, when someone reaches financial independence or pays off a credit card debt. 

Also, regardless of where you buy things or how much they cost, I would never blurt out how much I paid for something.  I always thought that was considered tacky?  I sound like Miss Manners in this post!

AlmostIndependent

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #25 on: August 30, 2013, 11:16:41 AM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.

My personal favorite; "how much is that bitch costin' ya?"

I want to watch what happens when the target's girlfriend/wife is standing next to the target.

Haha, I do actually exercise some discretion.

infogoon

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #26 on: August 30, 2013, 11:49:42 AM »
My son tells me to stop telling friends that come in the house how much I bought something on Craig's list for. I tell everyone how much the furniture store sells the piece for and what I ended up paying.

Why would your son's friends care how much your furniture costs?

huadpe

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #27 on: August 30, 2013, 11:54:28 AM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.

My personal favorite; "how much is that bitch costin' ya?"

What?  I don't get the joke here.


Responding to the post, it is polite when someone shows you something they are proud of- be it a new grandchild or a new pair of shoes or a new chainsaw- to extend congratulations.  I don't think it means that you approve of whatever it is they spend their money on.  It's just like what we do around here, when someone reaches financial independence or pays off a credit card debt. 

Also, regardless of where you buy things or how much they cost, I would never blurt out how much I paid for something.  I always thought that was considered tacky?  I sound like Miss Manners in this post!

It depends on the circumstances.  So for example, a lot of questions are complimentary/flattering.  E.g. a friend got a new hyundai genesis coupe, so questions about horsepower etc are basically compliments.  But he's also a good enough friend that we can talk finances a bit.  With people I know less well, I won't bring that up unless they do (beyond maybe a "did you get a good deal on it?" kind of thing).

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Mr.Macinstache

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #29 on: August 30, 2013, 12:42:32 PM »
When I don't gush over my brothers $45,000 Jeep or something huge my parents might have bough, I am automatically "jealous".

You see how that works?

Shallow consumerism is a mental disease, really. Their soulful philosophy, "Gimmie it, it's mine!"

CNM

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #30 on: August 30, 2013, 01:37:19 PM »
My preferred strategy is to ask questions.

My personal favorite; "how much is that bitch costin' ya?"

What?  I don't get the joke here.
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/09/06/how-much-is-that-bitch-costin-ya/


Ah!  Now I remember that post!  Thanks for reminding me. 

COMO

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2013, 07:14:03 AM »
I typically don't care how people spend their money. What gets me fired up is the day after the purchase or right before when they are complaining being broke.

swick

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #32 on: September 01, 2013, 11:25:02 AM »
So, I've learned not to expect any celebration of my thriftiness and savings. But, yet, I'm still expected to celebrate non-mustachian spending. That seems a little imbalanced to me.

But, I guess it all goes back to the occasional sense of isolation mustachians often talk about. I'm going to focus on my friends and try to be happy for them, even if the things they're doing wouldn't make me happy.

The forums is a great place to get high-fives for thriftiness and savings, also sharing helps inspire the rest of us too :)

hybrid

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #33 on: September 01, 2013, 12:07:55 PM »
Long time buddy of mine that spends every two nickels he can rub together bragged on Facebook last year "Just got my new iPhone 5!" or something very similar.  Missus and I, who both know his financial situation from several intimate conversations, just shook our heads.  My response?  No response.  There are some things you can't fix and opening your mouth or tapping out a response isn't going to be productive.

The MMM philosophy goes against the grain of what most of society does.  I 'm not a particularly private person share my story with everyone, and yet my MMM story is something I only dare share with people who are both receptive and just as importantly not drowning in personal debt.  I offer my financial advice to folks in the latter category if I know them well, but I don't go about telling them exactly how well off I'm becoming not doing all the dumbass stuff they did for years and years.  That would get very awkward very fast.

Now that I am older I've discovered that some of my friends are taking care of business to various degrees and some are in their late 40s or 50s and flat-ass broke or highly leveraged.  That gets to be increasingly uncomfortable with time, as I am going in a completely opposite direction of those folks.

brewer12345

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #34 on: September 01, 2013, 05:13:00 PM »
I bought a new F150 almost 2 years ago.  It was time to bid my last vehicle adieu, I wanted certain features of the new design, I needed a more capable tow vehicle for the travel trailer, and I will keep it for a decade or longer.  I agonized over the purchase for quite a while and then finally made the decision.  To me, this was a carefully considered appliance purchase and although I love the truck and really get a lot of enjoyment out of it, its still just a thing to me.  So when my quite nice neighbor (who only buys very used cars, recently retired in her early 50s and is very frugal) congratulated me on my new truck, all I could say was, "um, thanks."

I don't get it either.  If anything, I felt slightly ashamed of my purchase.

DocLago

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #35 on: September 01, 2013, 07:07:00 PM »
I am in a group of 4 army medics working in a clinic on a daily basis, all 4 of us are getting out of the military in 6 months.  All 3 of my fellows went and bought new cars over the last month and a half, and none of them have any jobs lined up or even a clue of WHERE they are going to move in 6 months.
1 of the 3 is constantly having money problems and has no real plans for the future.
1 of the 3 is now trying to sell me on the idea of buying a new car from his dealer friend who will get me a smoking deal.  I have reminded them numerous times that in 6 months they are going to be thrown into a world of high unemployment rates and a shroud of uncertainty.  They think my idea of paying off my once new car and stockpiling a years worth of living expenses before I get out to be a waste.

Oh well, to each his own I guess.

dragoncar

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #36 on: September 11, 2013, 12:56:02 AM »
Yeah, it's polite to ooh and ahh no matter how stupid the purchase is.  As a rational introvert, it took me a while to learn this acceptable public behavior.  It's antisocial to criticize other people's choices.  If I have a close relationship with someone, they will get the full wrath of my analysis.  Otherwise "cool car!  I wish I could afford one!"

Theadyn

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #37 on: September 11, 2013, 06:38:24 AM »
This past week there were congratulations all around for coworkers new vehicle purchase...  all $26k that was financed.  She had been driving the same truck for 10 years, and 'deserved' it.   (I was more impressed with the truck she drove for 10 years).  I responded 'It's pretty.' and left it at that.  The kicker...    she lives 0.5 miles from work.  Yes, I looked it up.  It's a 9 minute walk, less by bike.  But she arrives in style, which is important to her.  Coworkers had to go outside to check it out and beam over it.   Yet, I get kinda picked on for walking to work.   I've actually had comments 'Poor Pammy, did you walk again this morning??!'.     *sigh*       You just can't convince 'em, I've given up.

Mega

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #38 on: September 11, 2013, 06:58:42 AM »
I have found if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

My parents bought a new Corvette, with inherited money. They are not FI, and are at the point of mandatory retirement.

They know I do not approve of the purchase, and I have tried to explain it, but I have found my most effective and impactful approach has been complete disinterest in the car. The shock on both their faces when I said I didn't want to drive it was priceless.

pachnik

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #39 on: September 11, 2013, 07:12:59 AM »
Yeah, it's polite to ooh and ahh no matter how stupid the purchase is.  As a rational introvert, it took me a while to learn this acceptable public behavior.  It's antisocial to criticize other people's choices.  If I have a close relationship with someone, they will get the full wrath of my analysis.  Otherwise "cool car!  I wish I could afford one!"

+1 Yes, I agree that it is anti-social to criticize other people's choices.  Especially acquaintances and co-workers.  I would simply say "That's great." 

Mr.Macinstache

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #40 on: September 11, 2013, 08:31:08 AM »
I have found if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

My parents bought a new Corvette, with inherited money. They are not FI, and are at the point of mandatory retirement.

They know I do not approve of the purchase, and I have tried to explain it, but I have found my most effective and impactful approach has been complete disinterest in the car. The shock on both their faces when I said I didn't want to drive it was priceless.

Very effective. The reason people get Corvettes is because they want to be interested and impressed. Ha. Well done. I used the same tactics when my brother spend over 40k on each of rides, a new truck and a jeep. Lawlz.

dragoncar

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #41 on: September 11, 2013, 04:26:06 PM »
I have found if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

My parents bought a new Corvette, with inherited money. They are not FI, and are at the point of mandatory retirement.

They know I do not approve of the purchase, and I have tried to explain it, but I have found my most effective and impactful approach has been complete disinterest in the car. The shock on both their faces when I said I didn't want to drive it was priceless.

Very effective. The reason people get Corvettes is because they want to be interested and impressed. Ha. Well done. I used the same tactics when my brother spend over 40k on each of rides, a new truck and a jeep. Lawlz.

Not sure I agree with this.  They already spent the money... Why strain the relationship?  The next time they might get an even more expensive car because you weren't impressed with the cheaper one.

ender

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #42 on: September 11, 2013, 04:42:46 PM »
Not sure I agree with this.  They already spent the money... Why strain the relationship?  The next time they might get an even more expensive car because you weren't impressed with the cheaper one.

I have a hard time being happy for someone over a decision which is (or has the potential to be) so ridiculously stupid.

RetiredAt63

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #43 on: September 11, 2013, 06:40:42 PM »

I have the same problem. My son tells me to stop telling friends that come in the house how much I bought something on Craig's list for. I tell everyone how much the furniture store sells the piece for and what I ended up paying.
I get a rush buying something on Craig's list that I've been wanting brand new and I 'd like some Kudos for the big savings but most friends have the mindset that buying used furniture isn't for them and they have been pretty vocal about it . Guess I should have lied and said I paid $$$ for the furniture because you can't tell it's not new.
I am sitting at a nice computer desk that was dumped outside my apartment (when I was living in town so I didn't have to drive 102 km each way).  When my daughter saw it she said "Mom you're living like a university student, scavenging." But it was nicer than my computer desk, which is now a sewing desk.  And all it took was dragging it through the snow to my building and cleaning it a bit.

Mr.Macinstache

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #44 on: September 12, 2013, 08:16:04 AM »
I have found if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

My parents bought a new Corvette, with inherited money. They are not FI, and are at the point of mandatory retirement.

They know I do not approve of the purchase, and I have tried to explain it, but I have found my most effective and impactful approach has been complete disinterest in the car. The shock on both their faces when I said I didn't want to drive it was priceless.

Very effective. The reason people get Corvettes is because they want to be interested and impressed. Ha. Well done. I used the same tactics when my brother spend over 40k on each of rides, a new truck and a jeep. Lawlz.

Not sure I agree with this.  They already spent the money... Why strain the relationship?  The next time they might get an even more expensive car because you weren't impressed with the cheaper one.

I can't pretend to endorse something I don't believe just to make them feel better about their actions. I wouldn't call it a strain. Its just not codifying their lifestyle. I don't expect them to gush all over me because I didn't spend a bunch of money on a box with wheels.

Guses

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #45 on: September 13, 2013, 02:51:02 PM »
Although I would most definitely not pay 40K for a Corvette, I would really want to test drive one if someone offered. I can only control what I spend, but thsi does not stop me from enjoying other people's frivolous purchases (OPFP).

If I recall, MMM is somewhat of a gear head as well. I am sure he can appreciate a nice ride without surrendering his membership card.

Elaine

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Re: What's with people congratulating each other on spendy purchases?
« Reply #46 on: September 16, 2013, 12:29:09 PM »
This whole thread reminds me of something one of my high school teachers said. He was talking about the social differences between various cultures and he told the following story (obviously paraphrased):

I remember when my wife and I had been married for just a few years and we were living in the Netherlands. We had been doing well and decided to buy a newer television set. The next day at the college we were talking to some of our American colleagues about the tv and they were all congratulating us and making plans to come over sometime. Later in the hall I ran into one of the resident (native to Netherlands) professors and mentioned the new television to him as well, and his immediate response to hearing that I got a new tv was, with genuine concern, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that- what happened to your old one?"