Author Topic: 30 year old man kills father over allowance  (Read 12802 times)

voidmain

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30 year old man kills father over allowance
« on: January 05, 2015, 08:05:09 PM »
No comedy here, only shame beyond words.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/f84095b60da74a3f9badac79d68a5db0/hedge-fund-founder-70-slain-nyc-apartment

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Police said Gilbert Jr. went to his parents' home on the East Side on Sunday afternoon and asked his mother to go out to get him some food. About 15 minutes later, she got a "bad feeling" and came back, said Robert Boyce, the chief of detectives for the New York Police Department.

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Gilbert Jr. was in debt and had argued with his father over his allowance, police said.

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Gilbert Jr. also attended Princeton, graduating in 2009 with a degree in economics. Authorities said he had no recent work history.


gimp

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2015, 08:59:27 PM »
Over $400 allowance, to boot, and his daddy was paying his rent too.

This doesn't even belong in this forum - this isn't money, really, this is just a cunt kid committing murder because he's a cunt.

theonethatgotaway

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2015, 01:19:01 AM »
I dont know. This whole story makes me really sad.

This grown man needed help and clearly if his parents were paying his rent through his 20s and giving him an allowance they had some whack parenting priorities.

It could have been two things and a mix of an emotional mess:

Drugs and someone unable to enter adulthood as an adult. He was basically raised in an Elite society without support/proper upbringing or plan to keep himself there on his own. Then his parents bailed with a stipend to keep what they started going. I'd probably lose my mind too, for a little while at least. I'm sure he was impossibly embarrassed.

His parents sound like idiots. And it's all just very sad. Money doesn't mean the family is ok.

MrsPotato

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2015, 10:13:30 AM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2015, 10:18:01 AM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.

I found this the oddest part of the story as well.
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going2ER

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2015, 11:23:20 AM »
Can you say entitled? There are tons of people out there who have the entitlement feeling, but thankfully don't take it this far. Here were his parents supporting him, his mother actually went out to get him food (I'd laugh if one of my kids asked me to do that) and yet because he didn't get what he wanted he pitched a tantrum and shot his father?

Kaspian

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2015, 11:46:46 AM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness. 
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irishbear99

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2015, 11:48:57 AM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.

I found this the oddest part of the story as well.

Me too! I know it seems like focusing on the leaking faucet when the pipe has burst, but how effing entitled can one be as a 30 year old man who gets in his car, drives to his mommy's house and demands she go get him food?!

Dafuq.

lhamo

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2015, 11:50:54 AM »
He's apparently also suspected of arson in another case.

Probably a sociopath or psychopath.  Anybody who can ask their mom to go out and pick up a sandwich for them while planning to kill their father in a few minutes is not exactly normal....
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irishbear99

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2015, 11:51:11 AM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.

I found this the oddest part of the story as well.

Me too! I know it seems like focusing on the leaking faucet when the pipe has burst, but how effing entitled can one be as a 30 year old man who gets in his car and instead of driving himself to get his own damned food, drives to his mommy's house and demands she go get him food?!

Dafuq.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2015, 02:06:34 PM by irishbear99 »

Elliot

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2015, 12:13:28 PM »
This is clearly not the act of someone who is simply "spoiled." I am not licensed on the internet and I only know what I read in the article, but I'd hazard a guess he antisocial personality disorder or something similar.

Letj

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2015, 12:25:06 PM »
I suspect he suffers from some type of long term mental illness or drug addiction. How can you have an economics degree from Princeton and influential parents and not be employed?  I suspect we will hear about his many problems in the coming days.

RFAAOATB

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2015, 01:06:45 PM »
Poor black kid criminals are out, rich white kid criminals are in.


trailrated

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2015, 01:23:03 PM »
I think this kid should have gotten the sheriff supervised spanking mentioned in this thread a few more times as a kid http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/mini-money-mustaches/sheriff-supervised-spanking/
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MgoSam

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2015, 01:42:17 PM »
My spidey-sense is tingling, I think there is more to this incident.

Capsu78

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2015, 02:21:06 PM »
Guy had every advantage growing up- use of a silver spoon, finest in education, summers in the Hamptons and a family name to mooch off of.  I am guessing there is a lot more to this story that we won't find out until the 48 Hours segment on him a year from now.  I will, however, wager that very little that comes out will surprise me- be it drug use, growing up in the bubble of affluence, whatever.  My guess is we will see the profile of an entitled grievence collector, who had so many false starts- getting out of trouble he clearly earned, nice jobs his dad set him up in that he walked away from or got tossed out of, probably a stable full of girls over the years he used and tossed away... It was probably hard for someone who ran in those rarified circles to think of the housekeepers and lawn service guys as anything but third worlders.
Unfortunately for him, he is destined to find out about a whole other social class in Rikers Island quite unlike those dandies he partied hard with in the Hamptons.  What is sad to me is how hard this will be on his Mother- try to forgive and rescue to kid yet again or leave him to his own flawed devices.   

SnackDog

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2015, 02:37:47 PM »
Reminds me of the story my friend tells about going to visit his aunt and uncle.  His family drove all day and arrived at dinner time, utterly famished.  Auntie served up a fabulous meatloaf.  Her husband got to try the first bite.  He tasted it, rolled his eyes and said "could use a little salt".  His wife went utterly ballistic, shrieking, threw all the meatloaf out in the back yard, etc, leaving the hungry dinner guests stunned and speechless.   

Clearly in the case above and the $400 allowance, there was more to the story than meets the eye.  For all we know, the deceased in New York had it coming.
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MrsPete

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2015, 06:14:43 PM »
Me too! I know it seems like focusing on the leaking faucet when the pipe has burst, but how effing entitled can one be as a 30 year old man who gets in his car, drives to his mommy's house and demands she go get him food?!
I suspect you've made one mistake:  Based upon everything else in the article, I suspect he got into HIS PARENTS' car, drove to his mommy' shouse and demanded that she get him food.  Call it a hunch.

MrsPete

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2015, 06:16:27 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.
I don't have a problem with my kids living with me after they've finished college -- as long as they don't remain children. 

Kaspian

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #19 on: January 09, 2015, 01:04:59 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.
I don't have a problem with my kids living with me after they've finished college -- as long as they don't remain children.

Of course you don't--that's because you're their mother.  Many moms (and some pas) never want the babes to leave the nest.  Trust me, kick 'em out for their own good.  How else will they learn independence? And if they do hang around, they pay rent and their phone bill and gas money AND their own food AND do their own laundry.   ...Otherwise, you're creating a psycho.  (Norman Bates mommy-complex reference not missed.)   Now queue a dozen people saying, "Asian families do it!," "So do Hawaiians", "They did it in the Middle Ages," "Eskimo families all live in the same igloo..."
Everyone I know and can think of who lived in Western society with their parents into adulthood turned out...  Not so well.  (Seriously.)
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gimp

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #20 on: January 09, 2015, 01:10:10 PM »
I'm 24. Love my parents. Would rather live under a bridge than under their roof. Kick those fuckers out. Yes, it's more expensive. Consider the expense an investment into being an adult. Pretty high ROI.

With that said, coddling your kids may turn them into shitheads, but this guy is - as I said before - a right cunt. Mental blah blah my ass. Everyone always makes excuses. "He must be sick." "He must have mental problems." Why not make a much simpler assumption? He's a cunt. An asshole of the highest level. A murderer, cold-blooded. A narcissistic piece of shit, who thinks he writes the book of his life, and the world is the backdrop to it. I oppose capital punishment for practical reasons - possibility of getting something wrong, and expense - but if this piece of shit hangs himself, the world will be better off.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2015, 01:47:39 PM by gimp »

MgoSam

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #21 on: January 09, 2015, 01:12:27 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.
I don't have a problem with my kids living with me after they've finished college -- as long as they don't remain children.

Of course you don't--that's because you're their mother.  Many moms (and some pas) never want the babes to leave the nest.  Trust me, kick 'em out for their own good.  How else will they learn independence? And if they do hang around, they pay rent and their phone bill and gas money AND their own food AND do their own laundry.   ...Otherwise, you're creating a psycho.  (Norman Bates mommy-complex reference not missed.)   Now queue a dozen people saying, "Asian families do it!," "So do Hawaiians", "They did it in the Middle Ages," "Eskimo families all live in the same igloo..."
Everyone I know and can think of who lived in Western society with their parents into adulthood turned out...  Not so well.  (Seriously.)

Man, my mom calls me at least once a week and places a hint that she wants me to move back home. I hated living at home because I couldn't do anything without them asking a ton of questions. But that is the price you pay for living at home, so much happier living with a friend!

Gwyddyon

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #22 on: January 09, 2015, 01:15:07 PM »
By Western do you mean American? It's a common practice in much of Europe (Spain and Italy come to mind), and doesn't seem to be breeding a generation of homicidal maniacs there.

vivophoenix

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #23 on: January 09, 2015, 01:28:46 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.
I don't have a problem with my kids living with me after they've finished college -- as long as they don't remain children.

Of course you don't--that's because you're their mother.  Many moms (and some pas) never want the babes to leave the nest.  Trust me, kick 'em out for their own good.  How else will they learn independence? And if they do hang around, they pay rent and their phone bill and gas money AND their own food AND do their own laundry.   ...Otherwise, you're creating a psycho.  (Norman Bates mommy-complex reference not missed.)   Now queue a dozen people saying, "Asian families do it!," "So do Hawaiians", "They did it in the Middle Ages," "Eskimo families all live in the same igloo..."
Everyone I know and can think of who lived in Western society with their parents into adulthood turned out...  Not so well.  (Seriously.)

maybe the limiting factor is your sphere of influence?

tmac

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #24 on: January 09, 2015, 01:29:06 PM »
I worry about this (not about getting shot by my kids, but about coddling them). I'm very much in the camp that parents should instill independence, but there are grey areas.

My oldest graduated from high school last summer, turned 18 in October, and is not in college or working. But he has some pretty debilitating anxiety issues. We've agreed to let him live here with us for a while under some very specific conditions. He must go to therapy consistently and apply what he's learned. He must compensate us for room, board, and car insurance either in money or in labor. At the moment, he makes two meals a week, babysits the two younger kids once or twice a week, is in charge of garbage and recycling, walks the dog, and must do whatever else is asked of him. At this very moment, he's picking up a couple of things at the grocery store for me. He's responsible for his own laundry, dishes, bathroom clean-up (even though it's shared with his little brother), and transportation. I don't buy his clothes, personal items, or special food requests. That's on him. If he wants money, he needs to get a job.

With that all, by the age of 20, he must be 1) earning a paycheck and either out or planning his exit, or 2) in school full-time, in which case he can stay with us until he wants to move to a dorm or rented room.

I used to think I'd be OK with the kids sticking around just so they could save more money. No longer. I want my empty nest, dammit. They can save money somewhere else.

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #25 on: January 09, 2015, 01:30:14 PM »
I'm 24. Love my parents. Would rather live under a bridge than under their roof. Kick those fuckers out. Yes, it's more expensive. Consider the expense an investment into being an adult. Pretty high ROI.

With that said, coddling your kids may turn them into shitheads, but this guy is - as I said before - a right cunt. Mental blah blah my ass. Everyone always makes excuses. "He must be sick." "He must have mental problems." Why not make a much simpler assumption? He's a cunt. An asshole of the highest level. A murdered, cold-blooded. A narcissistic piece of shit, who thinks he writes the book of his life, and the world is the backdrop to it. I oppose capital punishment for practical reasons - possibility of getting something wrong, and expense - but if this piece of shit hangs himself, the world will be better off.

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Elliot

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2015, 02:05:25 PM »
Narcissism is a mental disorder.

gimp

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #27 on: January 09, 2015, 03:01:21 PM »
Everything that we don't like about the brain is a mental disorder. "Normal people wouldn't kill someone; I wouldn't kill someone and I'm normal; therefore anyone who kills someone must have some disorder." Great way of dehumanizing someone, turning them into your choice of a monster or a pitiable victim, to avoid the uncomfortable fact that any of us is capable and in the right circumstances will end someone's life.

No. Being a narcissist is being an asshole. Acting on it in a criminal fashion is being a criminal.

Elliot

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #28 on: January 09, 2015, 03:44:54 PM »
Murder is not in the diagnostic criteria for narcissism.

belgiandude

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #29 on: January 09, 2015, 04:10:27 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.

You are taking a (north?) american perspective. For other societies (Italy, Spain come to mind), this is totally accepted.

Psychstache

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #30 on: January 09, 2015, 04:37:41 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.
I don't have a problem with my kids living with me after they've finished college -- as long as they don't remain children.

Of course you don't--that's because you're their mother.  Many moms (and some pas) never want the babes to leave the nest.  Trust me, kick 'em out for their own good.  How else will they learn independence? And if they do hang around, they pay rent and their phone bill and gas money AND their own food AND do their own laundry.   ...Otherwise, you're creating a psycho.  (Norman Bates mommy-complex reference not missed.)   Now queue a dozen people saying, "Asian families do it!," "So do Hawaiians", "They did it in the Middle Ages," "Eskimo families all live in the same igloo..."
Everyone I know and can think of who lived in Western society with their parents into adulthood turned out...  Not so well.  (Seriously.)

My wife and I grew up in the US. I lived with my parents until I was 21. She went to college and moved back in with them for a year after she graduated. We are both awesome.

greaper007

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #31 on: January 10, 2015, 02:56:25 AM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.

There's some dysfunctional families out there.    My uncle(s) lived at home until their 30s.    They would routinely come home loaded and wake my grandma up to make them food when she had to work in the morning, or wreck her car so she couldn't drive to work in the morning.   But, there was a long history of codependency and enabling in that family.    An angry alcoholic patriarch can really wreak havoc.

Still, this guy sounds like he's mentally ill.    I'd look at that more than straight coddling.

shuffler

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #32 on: January 10, 2015, 12:54:39 PM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.
My read of it was that the father and son were arguing, and the mother was getting food to escape a tense situation.

Lia-Aimee

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #33 on: January 10, 2015, 03:54:26 PM »
Millennial here.

Living with your parents or other family members as roommates, or due to genuinely being unable to support yourself (major illness, perhaps in a very vigorous academic program) is fine. Living with your parents just because it's convenient, especially if this means not pulling your weight financially or otherwise, is not.

I grew up in a low-income, high COL area where it wasn't abnormal for teenagers to be paying several household bills and even living on their own after age 15. Then I went to uni and made friends with the kids from upper-middle class backgrounds; certainly not as rich as this family, but very comfortable.

Now in our mid to late 20's, I'm amazed at how many of them still live with their parents, their only bills being cell phones and gas, maybe car payments. I'm more amazed at how many didn't take the opportunity to save up and buy a house in cash, to stuff a portfolio full, to take low-paid internships in desirable fields. Instead, they take time off to travel, take a drastically reduced coursework in uni (one friend is 27 this month and still working on her first bachelors degree because a full course load stresses her out) or take fun, low-paid jobs (ski coach.)

Personally I'd feel bad letting my parents subsidise my lifestyle...they have to retire, too.

MrsPete

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #34 on: January 11, 2015, 05:08:27 PM »
This societal bullshit coddling of adult children has to stop.  Please don't encourage anyone else in the MMM forums to continue living with and leeching off their parents well into their late 20s and 30s just to save money.  It's craziness.
I don't have a problem with my kids living with me after they've finished college -- as long as they don't remain children.

Of course you don't--that's because you're their mother.  Many moms (and some pas) never want the babes to leave the nest.  Trust me, kick 'em out for their own good.  How else will they learn independence? And if they do hang around, they pay rent and their phone bill and gas money AND their own food AND do their own laundry.   ...Otherwise, you're creating a psycho.  (Norman Bates mommy-complex reference not missed.)   Now queue a dozen people saying, "Asian families do it!," "So do Hawaiians", "They did it in the Middle Ages," "Eskimo families all live in the same igloo..."
Everyone I know and can think of who lived in Western society with their parents into adulthood turned out...  Not so well.  (Seriously.)
I know people who've lived at home for a while and have turned out fine. 

Perhaps you missed the second half of my sentence:  As long as they don't remain children.  My relationship with my 20-year old has changed significantly since she finished high school.  She's independent, though still financially dependent upon us for her college expenses.  For example, while she was home for Christmas, she did a couple big tasks I'd been ignoring -- like cleaning out the refrigerator.  She did the grocery shopping for me.  She brought me lunch at work a couple times.  In return, when she asked me to make a couple of her favorite dishes, I was happy to do it.  We discovered Orange is the New Black together, and we enjoyed sharing it.  She badgered us 'til we went to see Christmas lights with her and her boyfriend.  We're both quite happy with our situation; I'm not treating her like a child, and she's not expecting me to cater to her every need.  If I can do as well with my 17-year old, I'll be highly satisfied. 

sleepyguy

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #35 on: January 12, 2015, 09:10:44 AM »
Not sure if this is anti-MMM, it's just a psycho idiot... a lot of adults a coddled throughout their life and don't go murdering anyone.

Sad story though.
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Left

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #36 on: January 12, 2015, 09:17:28 AM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.

I found this the oddest part of the story as well.

Me too! I know it seems like focusing on the leaking faucet when the pipe has burst, but how effing entitled can one be as a 30 year old man who gets in his car, drives to his mommy's house and demands she go get him food?!

Dafuq.
without reading the article and based off the thread title... I assumed he lived with parents as well :S

irishbear99

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #37 on: January 12, 2015, 04:50:25 PM »
He asked his mom to go out to get him food and she did... I'm beyond words right now.
My read of it was that the father and son were arguing, and the mother was getting food to escape a tense situation.

The way the article is written implies he went to their house to ask his mother to go get food: "Police said Gilbert Jr. went to his parents' home on Manhattan's East Side on Sunday and asked his mother to go out to get him some food." Obviously it was a ploy to get her out of the house, but I'm assuming since she did leave that she didn't find the request out of the ordinary. That's a lot of assumptions on my part so it very well may have occurred the way you interpreted, but that's just not the way I read it.

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #38 on: January 13, 2015, 06:20:16 AM »
This is clearly not the act of someone who is simply "spoiled." I am not licensed on the internet and I only know what I read in the article, but I'd hazard a guess he antisocial personality disorder or something similar.

What's that thing that little rich kids have? The kid who killed someone when driving drunk? I can't remember.
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RFAAOATB

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #39 on: January 13, 2015, 08:19:40 AM »
This is clearly not the act of someone who is simply "spoiled." I am not licensed on the internet and I only know what I read in the article, but I'd hazard a guess he antisocial personality disorder or something similar.

What's that thing that little rich kids have? The kid who killed someone when driving drunk? I can't remember.

Affluenza
which looks like its getting a couple PBS productions http://www.pbs.org/kcts/affluenza/

shuffler

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #40 on: January 13, 2015, 10:09:40 PM »
Affluenza
which looks like its getting a couple PBS productions http://www.pbs.org/kcts/affluenza/
The PBS show predates the rich-kid's verdict.
Heh.  The site advertises that you can "Catch Affluenza on VHS!".  ;^)

Bob W

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #41 on: January 14, 2015, 01:06:18 PM »
I just sent my 21 year daughter 50 bucks.   Her mother was a terrible codependent mom who never taught independence skills.   My daughter is doing her best on her very limited income (1K month).  She is out of money for 13 more days but has gas and food.   I felt kinda bad enabling her with the $50.  After reading this I'm thinking next month, I don't give a shit if she is out of food.  I need to quit sending her money so I don't get murdered!  (ps.  perhaps I should quit paying her car insurance and take her off the $10 republic plan as well??)
Better living through math.

vivophoenix

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #42 on: January 14, 2015, 01:23:35 PM »
I just sent my 21 year daughter 50 bucks.   Her mother was a terrible codependent mom who never taught independence skills.   My daughter is doing her best on her very limited income (1K month).  She is out of money for 13 more days but has gas and food.   I felt kinda bad enabling her with the $50.  After reading this I'm thinking next month, I don't give a shit if she is out of food.  I need to quit sending her money so I don't get murdered!  (ps.  perhaps I should quit paying her car insurance and take her off the $10 republic plan as well??)

i can see you didnt realize, you will only be murdered if you stop sending her money

theonethatgotaway

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #43 on: January 15, 2015, 09:51:39 AM »
What's with these responses?!

The dad's finances just came out. His net worth is about 1.6 million. Much less than a lot of readers on here. This says a lot about the family and the priorities. This speaks volumes when you run a capital firm that's valued at 200mm and you are in your 70s...and yet that is your net worth.

Look people. I grew up in a wealthy neighborhood of entitled idiots. A few went on to do as well as their parents, a few went on to do nothing, a few went on to die tragically from recklessness (drugs, cars, accidents). A common thread was about 70% of the kids did not know how to survive themselves and earn enough to stay in the type of elite social circles we were raised. That's embarrassing. That's cause for questioning. A lot of the parents were narcissistic themselves. ENTJs (look it up). A lot of parents were more concerned with making the next dollar over instilling values and letting their children lead the way.

I've seen the guy's courtroom shots and all I can see is sadness and relief in those eyes. I don't see anger. I think he was tormented his whole life by his dad, never being 'good enough'. I think his mom is having the worst month ever. I think the murdering the dad thing was a thought taken too far, too soon. I think there ARE mental issues, because a lot of times those derive from a home with this type of dynamic.

*source: seen bipolar 1 person in all their glory- things can go down really fast and they aren't in control of themselves.

Sure, maybe he could have been given more help, but remember his dad didn't think he was good enough- I'm sure therapy and 'issues' were something that was looked down upon.

-I do not condone murder, but I can at least see where the guy was coming from.

partgypsy

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #44 on: January 15, 2015, 10:58:26 AM »
What's with these responses?!

The dad's finances just came out. His net worth is about 1.6 million. Much less than a lot of readers on here. This says a lot about the family and the priorities. This speaks volumes when you run a capital firm that's valued at 200mm and you are in your 70s...and yet that is your net worth.

Look people. I grew up in a wealthy neighborhood of entitled idiots. A few went on to do as well as their parents, a few went on to do nothing, a few went on to die tragically from recklessness (drugs, cars, accidents). A common thread was about 70% of the kids did not know how to survive themselves and earn enough to stay in the type of elite social circles we were raised. That's embarrassing. That's cause for questioning. A lot of the parents were narcissistic themselves. ENTJs (look it up). A lot of parents were more concerned with making the next dollar over instilling values and letting their children lead the way.

I've seen the guy's courtroom shots and all I can see is sadness and relief in those eyes. I don't see anger. I think he was tormented his whole life by his dad, never being 'good enough'. I think his mom is having the worst month ever. I think the murdering the dad thing was a thought taken too far, too soon. I think there ARE mental issues, because a lot of times those derive from a home with this type of dynamic.

*source: seen bipolar 1 person in all their glory- things can go down really fast and they aren't in control of themselves.

Sure, maybe he could have been given more help, but remember his dad didn't think he was good enough- I'm sure therapy and 'issues' were something that was looked down upon.

-I do not condone murder, but I can at least see where the guy was coming from.

Totally disagree with this, and I've worked in research in the mental health field. Who cares if his Dad didn't think he was "good enough" or any of that bs? I just see alot of enabling and overstepping of boundaries. No one thinks their kid is going to be a monster, but statistically speaking, some are, and enabling them, makes it worse. If you look up the son, he is also the prime suspect of burning someone's mansion down, and killing their dog.

I also think it's weird and a myster, that the father had this high level job he was still working, in his 70's, and only has 1.6 million to his name? (that is not really not much at all!) It is also strange that the children are getting anything directly, because usually everything goes to the spouse (enabling continuing past death).
Part of their financial situation could be due to keeping up appearances. But it also could be in part to paying for the son (private schools, college, support, bailing him out of trouble, who knows what. Just 1 black sheep in the family can be really financially destructive, unless the parents cut the strings.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2015, 11:27:02 AM by partgypsy »

greaper007

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #45 on: January 15, 2015, 12:31:00 PM »
What's with these responses?!

The dad's finances just came out. His net worth is about 1.6 million. Much less than a lot of readers on here. This says a lot about the family and the priorities. This speaks volumes when you run a capital firm that's valued at 200mm and you are in your 70s...and yet that is your net worth.

Look people. I grew up in a wealthy neighborhood of entitled idiots. A few went on to do as well as their parents, a few went on to do nothing, a few went on to die tragically from recklessness (drugs, cars, accidents). A common thread was about 70% of the kids did not know how to survive themselves and earn enough to stay in the type of elite social circles we were raised. That's embarrassing. That's cause for questioning. A lot of the parents were narcissistic themselves. ENTJs (look it up). A lot of parents were more concerned with making the next dollar over instilling values and letting their children lead the way.

I've seen the guy's courtroom shots and all I can see is sadness and relief in those eyes. I don't see anger. I think he was tormented his whole life by his dad, never being 'good enough'. I think his mom is having the worst month ever. I think the murdering the dad thing was a thought taken too far, too soon. I think there ARE mental issues, because a lot of times those derive from a home with this type of dynamic.

*source: seen bipolar 1 person in all their glory- things can go down really fast and they aren't in control of themselves.

Sure, maybe he could have been given more help, but remember his dad didn't think he was good enough- I'm sure therapy and 'issues' were something that was looked down upon.

-I do not condone murder, but I can at least see where the guy was coming from.

Interesting perspective, I won't disagree with you outright.    I'd imagine the kid dealt with some bad situations growing up.   While that's not an excuse for craziness.    Things like trauma or heavy drug and alcohol abuse at an early age can trigger mental disorders like schizophrenia.   

I have a theory that the most screwed up people that just cause problems live in either the poorest parts of society, or the wealthiest.    Not all mind you, but a significant portion.    In my experience, the heaviest drug and alcohol users I've known were very rich or very poor.   They also had the craziest kids, and the most personal problems like multiple divorces.    You generally didn't want to get cornered by any of them at a party either.

dandarc

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #46 on: January 15, 2015, 12:35:40 PM »

I have a theory that the most screwed up people that just cause problems live in either the poorest parts of society, or the wealthiest.    Not all mind you, but a significant portion.    In my experience, the heaviest drug and alcohol users I've known were very rich or very poor.   They also had the craziest kids, and the most personal problems like multiple divorces.    You generally didn't want to get cornered by any of them at a party either.
The drug addiction is often what makes folks who might otherwise wind up somewhere in the middle very poor.
Link to my journal, so I can find it quickly - http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/dandarc's-journal/

greaper007

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #47 on: January 15, 2015, 11:24:03 PM »

I have a theory that the most screwed up people that just cause problems live in either the poorest parts of society, or the wealthiest.    Not all mind you, but a significant portion.    In my experience, the heaviest drug and alcohol users I've known were very rich or very poor.   They also had the craziest kids, and the most personal problems like multiple divorces.    You generally didn't want to get cornered by any of them at a party either.
The drug addiction is often what makes folks who might otherwise wind up somewhere in the middle very poor.

Or childhood trauma.   I've known a few drug addicts and none of them had a happy childhood.    Both the poor and the rich often suffer from things like inattentive parents that generally have bad parenting styles.

The poor people I've known generally grew up in poverty and stayed there.   I don't think it was addiction that caused their situation as much as institutionalized SES.    As much as we like to say this is the land of opportunity, the numbers don't really correlate with that.    Last I checked, England had more social mobility than the US.

theonethatgotaway

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #48 on: January 16, 2015, 08:53:15 AM »
England more socially mobile? That's really interesting.

I lived there. They provide so many social structures that it's impossible to NOT benefit one way or another (maternity, paid leave). I think social mobility is easier for the lower incomes in England, maybe not for the higher incomes.

(For example, a person making 20k reaps 20k extra in benefits making their 'income' 40k, where as a person earning 60k doesn't receive the direct benefits and is taxed to make their 'income' 40k.) So, social redistribution.

More risk/reward in the US, but much more issues involved in all the in-between and for those that DO need help.

Capsu78

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Re: 30 year old man kills father over allowance
« Reply #49 on: January 16, 2015, 09:51:30 AM »
Not to disagree greaper07:

 "I've known a few drug addicts and none of them had a happy childhood.    Both the poor and the rich often suffer from things like inattentive parents that generally have bad parenting styles."

... But there is a flip side to this scenario too.  We have known 3 professional couples in the past decade who raised a child who became involved with heroin.  Dispite having been brought up pretty similarly to our own kids- soccer leagues, extraciriculars, sleepovers and birthday parties- 2 of the 3 are dead and the third just survived yesterday and is trying to get through today.  No one knows what really goes on inside a family or a marriage, but having to change the locks on your house so the kids can't get in is a heartbreaking situation.  One of the young adults (almost said kids) sat in the morgue for months waiting for identification.