Author Topic: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?  (Read 8182 times)

socaso

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How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« on: September 26, 2014, 12:00:32 PM »
When I read this I thought it was going to be more heartwarming but when I read that the couple was selling their bed set so they could afford to GET HER NAILS DONE I knew I had to post it here. Why would you sell your bed for a detail that doesn't matter to your marriage?
https://gma.yahoo.com/couple-wedding-day-saved-strangers-craigslist-192000542.html


Static Void

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2014, 12:29:39 PM »
Just for fun, I'll share our wedding arrangement.
This was May 2011, before we knew of MMM, but we were already well on that trajectory.

We used a nearby public park. Called the city to confirm that this was allowed, they said delightedly that of *course* that's exactly what public spaces are for! (And please be considerate to other park users.) We chose one that had a restroom, of course.

We told our guests to bring blankets or chairs or whatever they need to be comfortable. And provided a few extras too.
We set up early at the park with some homemade shading and such. Also put a few flowers and supplies in the public restrooms.

After setting up, we went home and changed, with some family minding the site. She came back to the park with some of the Parents. I rolled in a bit later on my bicycle.

Friends had set up in a broad semicircle around the "stage". Some lovely spring finery was seen!

Had a dear friend perform the (slightly) nontraditional ceremony.

And then had a catered lunch from an awesome restaurant from a town or two over.

It was on the weekend, wrapping up in the early afternoon. The setting and time meant we could invite simply everybody and their dog, and it's pretty clear and self-selecting who stays longer. (Which is to say, those who like cleaning up from parties, stayed and helped clean up from the party!) Of course we made it very clear that we really authentically meant the "no presents!" part of the invitation.

Total cost: less than $1000. So, a little bit flamboyant, but we felt good about it.

[[Much, much less than the tax benefit for that year, and the following ones, it turns out.]]
« Last Edit: September 28, 2014, 08:55:50 AM by Static Void »

gimp

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2014, 02:18:50 PM »
inb4storiesofhowyourweddingwasfrugal

Dead horse, meet fist.

tofuchampion

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2014, 05:52:34 PM »
We got married at the courthouse.  My dress was from a consignment shop, he wore a new button-down shirt from Target, flowers were from the supermarket.  We had 2 friends as witnesses, one of whom did double duty as photographer.

After, we swung by the grocery store again, picked up burgers & fixings, and met up with about a dozen friends at a park where I'd reserved a picnic shelter, and that was our reception.  The cake was cupcakes made by a baker friend of mine, and he actually did them for free as a wedding present.

So.  Court fees were about $35, iirc.  My dress was the one big-ticket item, coming in at $165 after I had some alterations done.  I don't remember how much the park reservation was, but less than $50.  Food, charcoal, etc., about $80, and $15 for the flowers... I'd say our whole wedding was probably about $250 total.  And it was perfect.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2014, 06:27:12 PM »
my furniture set on CL isn't selling either. and I keep dropping the price too!! :((

socaso

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2014, 08:20:31 AM »
my furniture set on CL isn't selling either. and I keep dropping the price too!! :((
Perhaps no one is reading between the lines enough to sense your desperation.

Must_Stash

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2014, 03:05:08 PM »
The more broke you are, the fancier your wedding must be, so you can compensate for the horrible ongoing shame and resentment that you feel.  Specifically, 1.7$ of spending for each 1$ current debt is the standard formula.  You're welcome!

resy

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2014, 11:43:51 PM »
That Friday [my wife] was crying because her aunt and everybody was doing their nails, and I didn't have the money to pay for it,. Well, she sounds like a reasonable, logical grown woman.
Oh man, she might have fled the altar if she had had to -gasp- paint her own nails like I did! Man, I'm an awesome wife lol

HairyUpperLip

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2014, 09:06:22 AM »
my furniture set on CL isn't selling either. and I keep dropping the price too!! :((
Perhaps no one is reading between the lines enough to sense your desperation.

Updated my CL Ad

"Selling this unit to fund my wife's manicure and pedicure."

MgoSam

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2014, 10:40:28 AM »
I found out that a friend's friend just got married, her and her fiance eloped to get married, and then came back for the reception. Their reasoning was to avoid the shitshow that weddings have become, I now want to be friends with this couple! Love the idea.

Snow White

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2014, 04:26:19 PM »
I love stories where couples thumb their noses at the wedding industry and do their own thing (like getting in the park...Static Void...it sounds like a lovely wedding)!

I attended a wedding earlier this year held at the couple's very large yard and it includes bales of hay set up (to sit on) around a western style stage.  A pit master cooked BBQ for the guests and we were all invited to (and did) wear our favorite jeans or shorts.  The bride and groom wore clothes that bordered on CW costumes in my opinion but it was totally THEM.  It was lovely, completely unique but you knew it was a wedding that suited them and their personalities perfectly.  I doubt they spent $2,000 tops and that includes the BBQ, beer, side dishes and cake. 

garion

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2014, 10:12:56 AM »
"I knew I was going to be laid off, but not that soon."

And they decided to plan a wedding they couldn't afford anyway? This is the most shocking part of this article to me.

And, full disclosure, I had a pretty unfrugal wedding recently. No, I do not regret it. But, we had the money to pay for it and we both have stable jobs.

Amanda

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2014, 12:27:06 PM »
inb4storiesofhowyourweddingwasfrugal

Dead horse, meet fist.

Ha!

MgoSam

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2014, 03:22:52 PM »
Question: How fancy does your wedding need to be, regardless of financial circumstances.

Goldielocks

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2014, 12:39:40 PM »
Fancy enough to have your close family attend.  Wherever, however.  To me this rules out the courthouse in favour of a park or other locale.

Melody

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2014, 05:34:13 PM »
Just for fun, I'll share our wedding arrangement.
This was May 2011, before we knew of MMM, but we were already well on that trajectory.

We used a nearby public park. Called the city to confirm that this was allowed, they said delightedly that of *course* that's exactly what public spaces are for! (And please be considerate to other park users.) We chose one that had a restroom, of course.

We told our guests to bring blankets or chairs or whatever they need to be comfortable. And provided a few extras too.
We set up early at the park with some homemade shading and such. Also put a few flowers and supplies in the public restrooms.

After setting up, we went home and changed, with some family minding the site. She came back to the park with some of the Parents. I rolled in a bit later on my bicycle.

Friends had set up in a broad semicircle around the "stage". Some lovely spring finery was seen!

Had a dear friend perform the (slightly) nontraditional ceremony.

And then had a catered lunch from an awesome restaurant from a town or two over.

It was on the weekend, wrapping up in the early afternoon. The setting and time meant we could invite simply everybody and their dog, and it's pretty clear and self-selecting who stays longer. (Which is to say, those who like cleaning up from parties, stayed and helped clean up from the party!) Of course we made it very clear that we really authentically meant the "no presents!" part of the invitation.

Total cost: less than $1000. So, a little bit flamboyant, but we felt good about it.

[[Much, much less than the tax benefit for that year, and the following ones, it turns out.]]

Sounds like a beautiful day with all your friends in a pretty environment. I couldn't do a courthouse wedding personally, but something like this would be my preferred choice. Celebratory but not stressful :-) Caterers were a good idea for ensuring you could enjoy your day too.

tracylayton

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2014, 07:04:18 PM »
Got married in 1996 at one our favorite restaurants with just family attending. Paid for everyone's dinner, my dad officiated, and we left on our honeymoon that night. It was about as stress-free and memorable as could be. My mother took some great photographs! I am guessing it costs $250 for both of our families to eat dinner and share the occasion with us.

guitar_stitch

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2014, 01:04:57 PM »
Question: How fancy does your wedding need to be, regardless of financial circumstances.

Glad someone posted it.  That was my first thought when I read the subject.  Especially the word "need".

resy

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2014, 04:31:16 PM »
Funny, DH told me a few days ago of a study he heard of where it was found that the cheaper the wedding, the longer the marriage...

pachnik

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2014, 08:14:21 PM »
Wow, selling your furniture to get your nails and hair done.  Crazy, even if it is for your wedding.  You can wash your own hair and do your own nails, for the cost of shampoo and nail polish.  I hope these people smarten up a bit.

Elderwood17

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2014, 08:16:38 PM »
Funny, DH told me a few days ago of a study he heard of where it was found that the cheaper the wedding, the longer the marriage...

There was a post somewhere in the forums on this recently.  Really neat article.

paddedhat

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2014, 05:38:18 AM »
How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?

The question should be, what specific mental heath issues pollute our society that result in our obsession with spending tens of thousands of dollars for a wedding?  Doesn't matter if you are dead broke, or retired at forty with a few million in your stash, high dollar weddings are for fools and followers.

Twenty nine years ago my lovely bride walked the isle in a tiny Moravian Church, in her brand new $75 dress that was mail ordered from J.C. Penney. After doing the deed, we departed for a small picnic grove in the woods, along a nice stream. The reception was burgers, hot dogs, salads, and beer on tap. Total cost for everything was well under a grand. We didn't ask a mom or dad for a penny, and wouldn't of accepted one. Decades later I still hear from guests with comments like, "that was one of the nicest, most memorable weddings I have ever been to", and "I sure wish we had the sense to do what you guys did. You know we spent the next seven years making payments on our "special " day. Talk about a dumb decision".

The whole wedding industry is fascinating madness. We had a young mom in our neighborhood who decided that she was going to become a highly paid wedding photographer. She spent a few years, here in the northeast, as a photographer's helper. She basically worked like a dog, for a very successful wedding photographer, getting paid peanuts as she learned the trade. One day she announces that she is moving the family to Houston. Her logic was clear. The culture there is obsessed with high dollar weddings, and she had the chance to charge several times the going rate here, in a region much greater opportunity.  She accomplished he goal, and makes a great living at it.

sobezen

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2014, 12:57:56 PM »
How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?

The question should be, what specific mental heath issues pollute our society that result in our obsession with spending tens of thousands of dollars for a wedding?  Doesn't matter if you are dead broke, or retired at forty with a few million in your stash, high dollar weddings are for fools and followers...

The whole wedding industry is fascinating madness.

I wholeheartedly concur! Also really enjoyed reading your own story. Thanks for the inspiration. Cheers! :)

hodedofome

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Re: How fancy does your wedding need to be when you are broke?
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2014, 03:38:44 PM »
If my parents hadn't paid for my wedding, I was all set to go to the justice of the peace. I didn't need a wedding ceremony to get married. They ended up paying $10k and it was more than I ever needed.

My brother married into a wealthy family. They threw a $250k wedding bash that made some state-wide magazines. They were divorced within 5 years.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2014, 03:41:00 PM by hodedofome »