Author Topic: "Retail therapy"  (Read 2724 times)

littleweedontheprairie

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"Retail therapy"
« on: April 19, 2018, 08:11:54 AM »
Ok, so I've always despised those words, picturing Kardashianesque ladies stepping into their clown Suburbans with several bags of three hundred dollar shoes, bought with almost maxed out credit cards, that they won't even remember they have in a week.
Joke's on me! I've just been longing to do "retail therapy" . My husband and I are both feeling like consuming like there is no tomorrow.
My husband has been under a ton of stress at work, things are very very busy for him with less and less employees. I just broke my ankle and became pretty much useless for a few weeks, which with two kids under three has put even more on my husband's plate. Thankfully our families are visiting and helping with the running the house. Little inconveniences/emergencies keep popping up right and left, and my husband is just plain too busy to take care of them and I just can't do much (it's slowly getting better but I'm not allowed to be any weight on it, and the pain meds after surgery made me super drowsy and nauseous). Anyways, sorry about the long complaint, I'm not trying to throw ourselves a pity party,I just need some encouragements and gentle facepunches maybe!
My husband and I have been catching ourselves lurking on Amazon, EBay and Etsy (among others...). My husband to fight the stress and me to fight the boredom. We both have this stupid feeling of "well every thing is going to s**t, our emergency fund is certainly not going to grow anytime soon, so might as well..." I don't even know what we are looking to buy, I think we just want to feel the accomplishment of "doing something" and the thrill of expecting something coming in the mail. Gah! I feel pathetic!
Any tips to cope with an impending wave of buying crap we really don't need?
Thanks all!

Dragonswan

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2018, 08:22:05 AM »
1) Tell your husband to get a massage.  That will help with the stress. 
2) Since family is helping out, your husband can sneak off for an hour and get some exercise to build energy (cardio) or relax (yoga)
3) When tempted to spend money, put $10 in your pocket and go to the dollar store.  Come home with junk and an empty pocket.  Not the best solution, but one of the cheapest ways to scratch the itch.  Since your're immobile, if you can't get to the store yourself, look at some youtube  videos of how to lifehack with dollar store finds.  Write down a few items you want to try and when hubby goes he can pick it up for you.  Then you spend time doing the hack (extra points for the ones where you need to put a couple items together and build a tool).

littleweedontheprairie

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2018, 08:26:44 AM »
Awesome ideas, thank you Dragonswan! My husband has been running with the dog early in the morning but I'll suggest to him to go swimming. I can't wait to suggest a massage to him and see his reaction - it's going to be great comic relief ;) I'll look for those videos!

MrsWolfeRN

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2018, 08:57:58 AM »
Some more ideas:

"Shop" on your library's website and reserve some books, then have your husband pick them up.

Go through your house and pick out some things to donate or sell. Luxuriate in the freed up space. You will not want to fill it back up with crap.

russianswinga

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2018, 02:43:03 PM »
Get on your local facebook Buy Nothing group, and donate some stuff.
When my wife gets the urge for retail therapy, I help clean the house and identify things we don't need.
It turns out she gets the same rush from donating directly to families through the Buy Nothing project as she does from shopping - it's more about the exchange of goods for her, and it doesn't even matter if they're coming or going! And she feels good if they do go to someone in need.

BuildingmyFIRE

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2018, 10:54:15 AM »
Totally agree with: (1) reserving books (or movies!) at the library.  When you go to pick them up, its the same excitement of getting something new! (2) exercise and (3) getting engaged with Buy Nothing.  It feels amazing to get rid of stuff.  You may actually find something you want as well through the group, and it will be free!  I love Buy Nothing!

I would also make two additional recommendations: (1) when you feel the urge to spend, pay off some debt instead (if you have any).  Then you feel broke and the urge to spend goes away.  (2) Go find a project -- this one is mostly for you, not your overstressed husband.  Start teaching yourself another language; commit to reading all of the works of Jane Austin; get your TSA pre-check (which I guess does involve spending some money); matching up all of the socks in the sock drawer and organizing them -- just pick something to go accomplish and set your mind to do it.  The rush of buying something you don't need will wear off fast and then you'll just feel guilty for wasting the money.  Good luck!  No face punches today, all out, sorry!

littleweedontheprairie

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2018, 01:40:21 PM »
Great! Thank you all! I've been catching up on reading - a luxury I haven't have in a while actually! I will go browse on the library. I've looked into a Buy Nothing and there is none close buy (should maybe start one 🙄?). And also catching up on all the clothes mending I've been putting off. The things I 'll usually busy with are impossible to do right now or take me forever, but they do feel like an accomplishment when I get them done so there's that (who knew changing the baby's diaper could be so rewarding?). My husband is really too busy to be able to turn to things like that, but he is the budget-master and the car-master. Oil changing/maintenance time is coming so I think he will get a thrill from buying the oil, filters, etc, and getting a couple hours of peace under the car. If he doesn't do it, I'll try and steer him towards daydreaming/devising/executing a cheap and cool improvement project for his beloved beater car. Bought nothing so far!

crispy

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2018, 04:39:02 PM »
I am going to admit that this is weird, but I find it entertaining. I imagine I am decorating a room or a house on a limited budget and peruse what all I can get for that budget. I don't buy the stuff, but it is a fun mental exercise for me. Sometimes, I will plan trips, too, and see what I can get for different budgets.

I'm a red panda

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2018, 06:20:27 PM »
I am going to admit that this is weird, but I find it entertaining. I imagine I am decorating a room or a house on a limited budget and peruse what all I can get for that budget. I don't buy the stuff, but it is a fun mental exercise for me. Sometimes, I will plan trips, too, and see what I can get for different budgets.

If I give you a budget, will you plan a trip for me?

Norrie

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2018, 09:39:57 PM »
I think that the fact that you guys have not only identified what youíre feeling but why youíre feeling that way is huge. Self-awareness about spending patterns and falling into consumer habits is something that most people just donít have. You might be battling against your urges, but at least you recognize that itís all bullshit stemming from life sucking right now.

I am sorry that youíre going through this rough patch. It sounds like a total slog and like thereís very little fun happening. Donít throw money at it though - it wonít help. Know that this is temporary and that youíll be back on your feet and that the stress will ease up. Maybe find some way to carve out a bit of quiet time in which you two can connect without kids or family underfoot?

Best wishes on healing!

Hirondelle

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2018, 02:14:26 AM »
I am going to admit that this is weird, but I find it entertaining. I imagine I am decorating a room or a house on a limited budget and peruse what all I can get for that budget. I don't buy the stuff, but it is a fun mental exercise for me. Sometimes, I will plan trips, too, and see what I can get for different budgets.

This is something that I do. Although "trips" here is mostly limited to checking flights. I loooove roaming around on Skyscanner to see flight prices to different areas during different times of the year. It's gotten to a point where friends come to me and ask if the flight they want to book is reasonably priced.

Another way to fight boredom is to start an online course in something new/fun. It doesn't necessarily have to be work related or a useful skill, just pick something you're curious about.

crispy

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2018, 01:58:00 PM »
I am going to admit that this is weird, but I find it entertaining. I imagine I am decorating a room or a house on a limited budget and peruse what all I can get for that budget. I don't buy the stuff, but it is a fun mental exercise for me. Sometimes, I will plan trips, too, and see what I can get for different budgets.

If I give you a budget, will you plan a trip for me?

Of course!

kimmarg

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2018, 06:30:40 AM »
I'm always horribly tempted by internet shopping when I work nights. It's a lack of sleep/this sucks/you deserve it mentality. For me what helps is recognizing the feeling, and conscientiously acting on it... on a much smaller scale. So for example rather than letting myself browse Amazon before work at 10pm I've decided to allow myself 1 stop at the coffee place per set of nights. It's true, always taking my own coffee is cheaper than a $2.50 I don't need to spend, but $2.50 'scratches the itch' much cheaper than $30 on amazon.

talltexan

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Re: "Retail therapy"
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2018, 07:14:08 AM »
I have a way of doing this with coffee as well: I've started buying the Starbuck's Iced Coffee at grocery stores for my work consumption.

It's better quality than the free stuff at work, but $5 gets me 48 oz instead of paying $2.70 for 16 oz (that includes a lot of ice).