Author Topic: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]  (Read 7933 times)

abuzzyisawesome

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"Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« on: April 28, 2014, 01:29:06 PM »
Not trying to offend anyone, so my apologies if it does.
Prom season is here folks! So, time to buy a $600 dress, pay for $100 worth of hair and makeup, $100 shoes, $100 for pictures, $100 for flowers pay for the kids dinner and limo ride so they can take lots of selfies on their iPhone 5!

Christmas is coming, the kids need a new ATV, and a chrome tailpipe for their car! Oh, no, the kids don't have time for a side job, or mowing lawns. But I'll pay for the car payment, insurance, huge cell phone plan, a Xbox 360, PS4. All the kids need the new iPad coming out.

No, my kids won't wear that. Their clothes have to come from Justice, or Abercrombie.

"Oh my, kids are so expensive, they are bleeding me dry!"


mxt0133

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2014, 02:01:04 PM »
I can't really blame kids that have these expectations because it is how they have been raised.

Can't really blame anyone else if your kids are this way because the learned it from their parents.  There are millions of kids in the world that do not have these expectation because it was either never an option or the parents never reinforced the behavior.

abuzzyisawesome

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2014, 02:03:48 PM »
Oh yeah, the kid doesn't come into the world thinking they are entitled to name brand clothes and electronics. I can't believe the things these parents buy to 'keep up with the Jones's'. I need to stop trying to have conversations at work. :/

TGod

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2014, 02:05:19 PM »
I ran into an old high school friend over the weekend and she seemed to be stressed out (I based this on her repeated mentioning that she'd like to "just keep on driving").  We were chatting about kids, I have 2 school age boys, she has 2 boys & 2 girls all school age. She was moaning about how it's impossible to put money away for retirement because she's got to give the kids a good childhood. She goes on to list all the sports her kids are in, her eldest son is in 3 sports, one of which was rep hockey before quitting and going into rec soccer, but then deciding he wanted back into rep hockey. Apparently when the word "rep" is added on it all costs way more. Then she says her daughters' dance classes are crazy. $500/class/year, and each of them is in 4 classes which amounts to $4K/year for DANCE LESSONS!!!!! Never mind the actual cost of all these sports and lessons, the cost of gas to drive these kids must be crazy.
This family is not well-off, they struggle financially and she has her day gig and a serving position that she does in the evenings to get by.  Rather than putting her kids in every single activity they might show a slight interest in, she'd be better off teaching them how to live within their means and no sacrifice their future financial health for the sake of ballet.
I'm a one activity kind of mom. They get one at a time, definitely no hockey, and nothing that requires me to leave the house earlier than 11am on a Saturday or Sunday morning.

Carrie

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2014, 02:11:52 PM »
We've got a high school senior (I'm the guardian, not the parent), and she wore a dress to prom that she already owned (bought a couple of years ago on clearance for $15), had her friend's mom do her hair & make up (Free), wore shoes she already owned, jewelry she already owned, and she had dinner with her date at the upscale restaurant where she is employed, so she got a 50% discount on their dinner (so boyfriend got a deal on that).  Her boss sent them a complimentary appetizer.  No limo rental, came home right after prom was over at 12:30am.
Um, hell yeah, we're doing an awesome job raising a frugal & smart young lady.  :)

abuzzyisawesome

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2014, 02:20:42 PM »
Oh, I forgot. A $400 yellow belt karate class graduation was mentioned. For a 6 year old. Our son mows the yard and is learning to mop and clean for allowance. He puts his allowance in his 'hidey-hole' and will buy a game, etc when there is money in his hidey-hole. He gets one decently sized birthday present and one Christmas present (grand parents get him books or art supplies). He has a nice bike to play outside. I guess I am hopeless when it comes to these types of conversations!

Nords

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2014, 02:47:10 PM »
Both Darrow Kirkpatrick and I have put numbers on the cost of raising the first (only) kid:
http://www.caniretireyet.com/having-kids-vs-retiring-earlier/

http://the-military-guide.com/2014/02/27/financial-independence-and-the-cost-of-raising-a-family/

And, of course, their unit price is cheaper if they're mass-produced...

sunnyca

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2014, 03:50:14 PM »
I can't really blame kids that have these expectations because it is how they have been raised.

Can't really blame anyone else if your kids are this way because the learned it from their parents.  There are millions of kids in the world that do not have these expectation because it was either never an option or the parents never reinforced the behavior.

Nuture may play a part, but don't forget peer pressure.  Over the weekend I saw a YouTube commercial that featured someone named Bethany Moya.  Turns out she's a teen that became a YouTube star by creating "haul videos," where she basically showcases all the items she bought.  I wasn't aware this was a thing.  And she earns $40k in ad revenue from this.  Crazy...

gillstone

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2014, 04:05:10 PM »
I can't really blame kids that have these expectations because it is how they have been raised.

Can't really blame anyone else if your kids are this way because the learned it from their parents.  There are millions of kids in the world that do not have these expectation because it was either never an option or the parents never reinforced the behavior.
+1

The inter-generational hand-wringing about all the problems with kids these days seems to work off the assumption that they just popped into existence.  Like Millennials just appeared one day out of the blue, carrying a ton of student loan debt and some questionable piercings.

galliver

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2014, 04:33:47 PM »
The inter-generational hand-wringing about all the problems with kids these days seems to work off the assumption that they just popped into existence.  Like Millennials just appeared one day out of the blue, carrying a ton of student loan debt and some questionable piercings.

My friends and I really enjoyed that. :) [We like to read the "hand-wringing" about our generation and laugh/rage.]

frugalecon

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2014, 08:36:36 PM »
For some data about prom, check this out:
http://www.fivecentnickel.com/2013/05/15/how-do-you-combat-prom-inflation/

I shared this link with MMM last year, and he got a kick out of it.

Thegoblinchief

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2014, 07:43:12 AM »
The most fun my kids have had the past couple weeks was hiking around a new part of the river and chucking rocks into the water to hear the "ker-plump!" sound.

It's been said so many times before, but kids will be as expensive as you let them be.

tmac

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #12 on: April 29, 2014, 10:24:58 AM »
My dental hygienist said a similar thing early this school year when we were talking about how my son was starting his senior year. "Senior year is SOOO expensive!!" She enumerated all the costs -- senior portraits, yearbooks, prom with limos, graduation parties, etc. We got the most basic portrait package and yearbook option (which were first school pictures and yearbook we'd ever gotten, even though they're available every year). No class ring. He isn't interested in prom and has asked for the following for graduation: a new bike, a day on the river, and dinner at the local gas station lunch counter (best tater tots ever!). Sounds great.

My daughter came down this morning with a pair of too-small jeans for the donation box. "Can we hit the Goodwill this weekend? I need jeans." You bet.

Yeah, daycare is expensive, and so is college, but the day to day stuff? Not so much.

randymarsh

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #13 on: April 29, 2014, 12:20:04 PM »
[We like to read the "hand-wringing" about our generation and laugh/rage.]

Same. Some are actually good. But others...wow. You'd think we're another species.

William

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2014, 09:13:34 AM »
This is interesting: http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/2012/06/ultimate-baby-child-costs-tracker/

He kept track of ALL his child's expenses.

Kids are expensive enough without the added prom dresses and chrome tail pipes!

golfer44

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2014, 09:18:44 AM »
The most fun my kids have had the past couple weeks was hiking around a new part of the river and chucking rocks into the water to hear the "ker-plump!" sound.

Ahhh yes, best sound ever.

sleepyguy

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2014, 09:49:54 AM »
Sadly, my brother is EXACTLY the same way... he and his wife probably make in excess of 250k/yr... they put nothing in retirement and probably spend a small fortune on their kids.  Golf, Piano, Swimming, Horse riding... think if it, he's done it.

It so odd as he was raised exactly as I was... given nothing (not even allowance) and we just all play amongst ourselves.  Playing the cheapest sports available, basketball, tennis, soccer... just with neighbourhood kids or whoever wanted to join.  This was pretty much every day.

Nords

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #17 on: April 30, 2014, 11:50:19 PM »
This is interesting: http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/2012/06/ultimate-baby-child-costs-tracker/

He kept track of ALL his child's expenses.
J. Money's spouse just gave birth to kid #2...

William

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2014, 03:37:59 PM »
This is interesting: http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/2012/06/ultimate-baby-child-costs-tracker/

He kept track of ALL his child's expenses.
J. Money's spouse just gave birth to kid #2...

I wish he hadnít stopped tracking.  It was much better to see a real-world example of child costs rather than just pointing to an ABCNews article that says kids cost a quarter million to raise.

snareman1

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2014, 03:46:19 PM »
They get one at a time, definitely no hockey, and nothing that requires me to leave the house earlier than 11am on a Saturday or Sunday morning.
Badassity!

steveo

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2014, 05:44:40 PM »
They aren't cheap.

My 12 y.o. daughter is going to require braces and without investigating it in detail I've heard it costs about $6k. That is pretty close to an ERE level of expenditure for one year.

As for the phones we purchased my 12 year old a phone off Ebay at the start of the year and said she would get an allowance but would have to pay for her phone bill. She still hasn't used the phone once. She had to have it as well.

Cwadda

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2014, 06:00:04 PM »
Not trying to offend anyone, so my apologies if it does.
Prom season is here folks! So, time to buy a $600 dress, pay for $100 worth of hair and makeup, $100 shoes, $100 for pictures, $100 for flowers pay for the kids dinner and limo ride so they can take lots of selfies on their iPhone 5!

Christmas is coming, the kids need a new ATV, and a chrome tailpipe for their car! Oh, no, the kids don't have time for a side job, or mowing lawns. But I'll pay for the car payment, insurance, huge cell phone plan, a Xbox 360, PS4. All the kids need the new iPad coming out.

No, my kids won't wear that. Their clothes have to come from Justice, or Abercrombie.

"Oh my, kids are so expensive, they are bleeding me dry!"

Exactly! It all depends on how you're raised. I was raised with the mentality that I was going to have skin in the game and is basically the reason I caught on to frugality.

When I was 9 my mom started me on piano because ever since I was little I would be so intrigued by it. I started piano lessons at age 9 at about $130/month. When I was 11 my parents bought me a $2200 Yamaha studio upright piano (which, interestingly enough, only needs to be tuned every few years). I took lessons for about 8 years.

By the end of my senior year I had $8500 in music scholarships. I also now have a quarter time job as a music director that pays $50/hour. Gosh, I don't appreciate my parents nearly enough.

joleran

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #22 on: May 04, 2014, 11:22:33 AM »
My 12 y.o. daughter is going to require braces and without investigating it in detail I've heard it costs about $6k. That is pretty close to an ERE level of expenditure for one year.

Careful with the braces expenditure - make sure your daughter really wants them and is willing to follow through.  My wife and I both had braces and didn't follow through with the retainers (you may need to wear them essentially forever).  Neither of us really wanted them at the time, but our parents talked us into it.  Now, we "need" braces again.  If we had the braces money invested for us, we'd be able to cut a few months off of our FI date - nothing ridiculously huge or anything, but it would certainly be nice.

steveo

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #23 on: May 04, 2014, 04:04:32 PM »
My 12 y.o. daughter is going to require braces and without investigating it in detail I've heard it costs about $6k. That is pretty close to an ERE level of expenditure for one year.

Careful with the braces expenditure - make sure your daughter really wants them and is willing to follow through.  My wife and I both had braces and didn't follow through with the retainers (you may need to wear them essentially forever).  Neither of us really wanted them at the time, but our parents talked us into it.  Now, we "need" braces again.  If we had the braces money invested for us, we'd be able to cut a few months off of our FI date - nothing ridiculously huge or anything, but it would certainly be nice.

Thanks. She wants them but at 12 y.o. that could change at any point. Her teeth are crooked and I think we should do this for her however the cost is expensive.

Anyway stating that kids aren't expensive to me doesn't have any. We don't spoil our kids at all but my 2 boys have Asthma and nasal allergies that require specialist care. My daughter will more than likely require braces. These things add up. My kids don't get top of the line anything but they still cost a lot of money.

mm1970

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #24 on: May 04, 2014, 04:30:31 PM »
I have a friend from long ago who was excited and worried that her daughter's prom dress wouldn't arrive on time.

It was a beautiful dress. I cannot find it online, it's that exclusive.  But similar dresses from the same designer run $3000-$5000.

For a senior prom.

Now, these guys have buckets of money, I assume, but they spend it like water!

As a comparison, a coworker's daughter about 8 years ago bought a dress for $20 off ebay, altered it to fit and be more "up to date", and cooked dinner for her date.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2014, 04:32:20 PM by mm1970 »

mm1970

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #25 on: May 04, 2014, 04:34:11 PM »
I can't really blame kids that have these expectations because it is how they have been raised.

Can't really blame anyone else if your kids are this way because the learned it from their parents.  There are millions of kids in the world that do not have these expectation because it was either never an option or the parents never reinforced the behavior.
It's not ALWAYS the parents.  Almost all of my son's friends have video game consoles (we have some video games on a regular computer).  My son thinks they are all rich because of it.  He is constantly asking for a Wii. We introduced him to craigslist and Ebay.  Then we offered him jobs to earn money (washing the cars, etc.).  He started saving money and realized that it's maybe not worth 4 months of work to have a Wii.

In reality, it would probably be only 2 months.

Tempe

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Re: "Kids are so expensive!" [Kinda Ranty]
« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2014, 05:01:21 PM »
I remember wanting a dress for junior prom and drooling over some orange and yellow one. It was 120$, probably the most expensive clothing item I had looked at in my life at that point. My mother said no, I believe she ended up getting me an 80$ black one (I don't think I bought it myself but I don't remember) After one use it hung in a closet since 2007, partially because my chest no long fit haha. I  halfheartedly tried to sell it at garage sales but I think my mother took it to wear herself when she needs something for the rare times she wears a dress.
 Last year when prom  season was going on, I was going holy moly at some of the dresses I saw, partially because of how much skin showing, but also how many quality/expensive dresses and suits I saw. We were eating in the outside of Olive Garden across from a very expensive restaurant and saw a lot of dates going into that one. And the going out to dinner with a date, no one in my circle of friends did that in 2007. I don't know if it really changed in the last 7 years, or if being from a smaller town also influenced costs. My bf just shrugged and said prom is just expensive when I mentioned the dates and the costs.
I know my classmates spent money on their hair and dresses, but no one I knew went to dinner at a 20$ entree restaurant that night. I got my hair and make up done by a cousin. (Some of my perspective could be influenced by me and my friend not having dates for junior and senior prom) For senior prom I borrowed a lovely green dress from a friend of my aunts, I think it was a dress she wore to a wedding.  My closest friend wore a suit to prom instead of a dress.