Perhaps kind people could get over themselves a bit as well... how self-important to force your "kindness" onto someone who prefers something else.
I think we could all do well by saying what we mean more often. So many fewer hurt and repressed feelings in the name of etiquette
Concur. From my life experience, the shell game feels good at first, until everyone gets all neuritic and starts to question subdued motives. If everyone just spoke straight, and expressed what they actually wanted, society would run a lot more smoothly. Now, I get it, that won't work in international politics.
But we're talking about a car ride for fucks sake. Just tell them how you feel. They should respect your decision, even if they were trying to "be nice." In the short term, this may be construed as "mean" or "insensitive." In the long run, you will develop trust among those around you. They know you will talk to them straight. You know, honesty and integrity and all those fancy type of words.