Author Topic: "I love you but you are a weirdo"  (Read 10769 times)

surfhb

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"I love you but you are a weirdo"
« on: March 08, 2015, 12:02:24 PM »
Just heard this from my aunt who I asked to drop me off at the train station  3 miles from their house.   

I guess she feels I'm being a jerk for rejecting her offer to drive me 25 miles in her leased BMW when I try to explain to her it's much easier to just drop me off 3 miles at the greenline station which goes directly to the airport.    Hmmm

I was called a weirdo and ungrateful.  Oh yeah...... She's almost 60 years old with no retirement savings.    Gotta love family.

I feel like shit and badass at the same time so I guess they cancel out.... On with the day!!
« Last Edit: March 08, 2015, 12:03:56 PM by surfhb »

sol

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2015, 12:20:36 PM »
People express love in different ways. 

MrsCoolCat

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2015, 09:09:53 PM »
People express love in different ways.

LOL, tis true.

Sibley

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2015, 12:10:26 PM »
Wear your badge proudly, Weirdo.

Mississippi Mudstache

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2015, 12:18:30 PM »
This doesn't involve family, but when I started my new job last fall, I told my wife that my goal was to be so good at my job that everyone accepted or ignored my eccentricities. So far, so good.

MidwestBiker

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2015, 12:46:35 PM »
Thank you for resurrecting the term "weirdo."

Bob W

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2015, 12:57:23 PM »
She was technically correct as you are probably well on the right of the bell curve if you're any kind of mustachian at all?

That an I'm guessing that you would turn down a free, no hassle ride door to door vs. taking the train has to more with the 40 minutes of time you would have to spend with your aunt.   Because logically the car ride was free to  you and the train was probably an expense?

We love and embrace weirdo's here!

I'm a red panda

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2015, 02:00:38 PM »
Quote
Because logically the car ride was free to  you and the train was probably an expense?
But it wasn't free to the driver, or to the environment.

I don't want to save my money at the expense of other people's kindness and their money.  I'd do the same as the OP.

mak1277

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2015, 03:08:59 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

I'm a red panda

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2015, 03:28:04 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

fantabulous

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2015, 03:29:19 PM »
This doesn't involve family, but when I started my new job last fall, I told my wife that my goal was to be so good at my job that everyone accepted or ignored my eccentricities. So far, so good.

Similarly, so far so good for me at work after coming out as trans. I'm not sure what's actually weirder for people, though.

mak1277

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2015, 03:39:31 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

WildJager

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2015, 04:13:43 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Fossil fuels are a limited resource and destroy our environment.  That's a good enough reason for me to skirt someone "feeling good."

Maybe I'm just a cold hearted ass...  ;)

caliq

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2015, 04:30:57 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Fossil fuels are a limited resource and destroy our environment.  That's a good enough reason for me to skirt someone "feeling good."

Maybe I'm just a cold hearted ass...  ;)

I'm sorry, but this is incredibly silly.

The amount of fossil fuel you burn by getting on an AIRPLANE and flying anywhere is so astronomically higher than what the drive in a car to the airport would use...

If you really cared that much about the environment, you wouldn't be flying.  Otherwise, you're just being a bit of a jerk to whoever's trying to be nice and offer you a ride. 

sol

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2015, 05:42:32 PM »
The amount of fossil fuel you burn by getting on an AIRPLANE and flying anywhere is so astronomically higher than what the drive in a car to the airport would use...

This argument appeals to severity as a proxy for morality.  To make an extreme  and exaggerating analogy, would you also arguing that murdering someone isn't a big deal if you've just finished murdering a whole bunch of people?  Is taking $20 from your neighbor morally justifiable if you robbed a bank that morning?

I see the obvious hypocrisy in a statement like that, but not a valid excuse.

WildJager

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2015, 05:52:14 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Fossil fuels are a limited resource and destroy our environment.  That's a good enough reason for me to skirt someone "feeling good."

Maybe I'm just a cold hearted ass...  ;)

I'm sorry, but this is incredibly silly.

The amount of fossil fuel you burn by getting on an AIRPLANE and flying anywhere is so astronomically higher than what the drive in a car to the airport would use...

If you really cared that much about the environment, you wouldn't be flying.  Otherwise, you're just being a bit of a jerk to whoever's trying to be nice and offer you a ride.

I fly airplanes for a living and lament at some of the wastefulness that is frankly out of my control on any given mission.

I also walk and take public transportation whenever I can. 

Every little bit adds up in the overall scheme of things.

surfhb

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2015, 06:00:36 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

I think youre right.    I thought about this over the weekend and decided to take her up on her offer.     It still boggles the mind why she was so upset on a 3 mile vs 25 mile ride, but were talking about me and my family here :)   

Anyway.....we talked it out and everything is cool
« Last Edit: March 09, 2015, 06:02:25 PM by surfhb »

willow

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #17 on: March 09, 2015, 06:36:48 PM »
People express love in different ways.

+1

Though this does remind me. One day one of my coworkers saw me walking to work. It was a bit cold out. It became a small fuss in the morning and a couple of them said "You do know you have friends who will give you a ride if you need one." I found the offer gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling but I also chuckled because apparently walking to work means you are in need somehow.

irishbear99

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2015, 07:08:01 PM »
People express love in different ways.

+1

Though this does remind me. One day one of my coworkers saw me walking to work. It was a bit cold out. It became a small fuss in the morning and a couple of them said "You do know you have friends who will give you a ride if you need one." I found the offer gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling but I also chuckled because apparently walking to work means you are in need somehow.

I've had something similar happen to me. My husband and I share a car. On the days he has the car I have to walk from my office to the gate (less than 2 blocks) when he picks me up because he doesn't have a pass to come on the military installation.  My coworkers get really concerned when they see me walking, but we have great weather year round and people routinely walk farther to pick up lunch from the post exchange. I mean, I appreciate that people are kind enough to care, but I don't see the big deal.

Bob W

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2015, 07:50:23 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

I think youre right.    I thought about this over the weekend and decided to take her up on her offer.     It still boggles the mind why she was so upset on a 3 mile vs 25 mile ride, but were talking about me and my family here :)   

Anyway.....we talked it out and everything is cool
. That is great!   I try not to over think.  I'm right of course 80% of the time.  The problem is I never know which is the 80%.  And even when I am right it just tends to piss people off.

mak1277

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #20 on: March 10, 2015, 09:02:49 AM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Fossil fuels are a limited resource and destroy our environment.  That's a good enough reason for me to skirt someone "feeling good."

Maybe I'm just a cold hearted ass...  ;)

I'm an ass too...I'm going to make sure to drive a few unnecessary miles today just to counter you :-)

rocksinmyhead

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #21 on: March 10, 2015, 09:12:06 AM »
People express love in different ways.

yeah, when I read this thread title I thought, "hmm, bf and I say that to each other all the time." or more like, "I love you, ya weirdo"

Russ

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #22 on: March 10, 2015, 09:29:13 AM »
I don't want to save my money at the expense of other people's kindness and their money.

weirdo.

rockstache

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #23 on: March 10, 2015, 12:52:50 PM »
Thank you for resurrecting the term "weirdo."

Wait, what? Where did it go? No one told me, I have been using it right along. I guess I'm a weirdo...

dilinger

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #24 on: March 10, 2015, 01:14:08 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Kindness and environment aside, you're statistically much more likely to be seriously injured or die on that 25mi 'free' ride to the airport than you are on that train ride.

So when people offer to drive me at 70mph, I usually turn them down for the statistically safer train ride.  I don't let safety statistics rule my life, but the car ride doesn't get me any pleasure/joy, so why bother?  If someone wants to spend time w/ me, they can ride the train with me.. and I can have their undivided attention during the conversation, rather than having them only half pay-attention while avoiding other cars.

Maybe it's a generational thing?

mak1277

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #25 on: March 10, 2015, 01:29:25 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Kindness and environment aside, you're statistically much more likely to be seriously injured or die on that 25mi 'free' ride to the airport than you are on that train ride.

So when people offer to drive me at 70mph, I usually turn them down for the statistically safer train ride.  I don't let safety statistics rule my life, but the car ride doesn't get me any pleasure/joy, so why bother?  If someone wants to spend time w/ me, they can ride the train with me.. and I can have their undivided attention during the conversation, rather than having them only half pay-attention while avoiding other cars.

Maybe it's a generational thing?

Now I'm curious...what generation do you think I'm a part of?


Russ

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #26 on: March 10, 2015, 01:42:13 PM »
Perhaps kind people could get over themselves a bit as well... how self-important to force your "kindness" onto someone who prefers something else.

I think we could all do well by saying what we mean more often. So many fewer hurt and repressed feelings in the name of etiquette

dilinger

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #27 on: March 10, 2015, 02:31:32 PM »
I think it's important to accept kindness offered by other people, even if you don't "need" it.

Like getting a ride to the train station?

Like getting a ride all the way to the airport when it's been offered.  I'm just saying, most people need to get over themselves and just say "yes" when people offer kindness.  It makes people feel good to help, and for that reason alone we should accept unless there is a good reason not to.

Kindness and environment aside, you're statistically much more likely to be seriously injured or die on that 25mi 'free' ride to the airport than you are on that train ride.

So when people offer to drive me at 70mph, I usually turn them down for the statistically safer train ride.  I don't let safety statistics rule my life, but the car ride doesn't get me any pleasure/joy, so why bother?  If someone wants to spend time w/ me, they can ride the train with me.. and I can have their undivided attention during the conversation, rather than having them only half pay-attention while avoiding other cars.

Maybe it's a generational thing?

Now I'm curious...what generation do you think I'm a part of?

I have no idea.  I'm saying in relation to my parents generation (I am late GenX/early Millenial), who are more likely to want to provide a ride than to let someone take public transit, and to get offended when they are rebuked.  This occurs with both my parents and my in-laws, but I don't see it happening amongst my friends.  Could also be a suburban/urban divide, too.  Just a guess based on anecdotal evidence.

WildJager

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #28 on: March 10, 2015, 05:02:23 PM »
Perhaps kind people could get over themselves a bit as well... how self-important to force your "kindness" onto someone who prefers something else.

I think we could all do well by saying what we mean more often. So many fewer hurt and repressed feelings in the name of etiquette

Concur.  From my life experience, the shell game feels good at first, until everyone gets all neuritic and starts to question subdued motives.  If everyone just spoke straight, and expressed what they actually wanted, society would run a lot more smoothly.  Now, I get it, that won't work in international politics.

But we're talking about a car ride for fucks sake.  Just tell them how you feel.  They should respect your decision, even if they were trying to "be nice."  In the short term, this may be construed as "mean" or "insensitive."  In the long run, you will develop trust among those around you.  They know you will talk to them straight.  You know, honesty and integrity and all those fancy type of words.

Sibley

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2015, 11:49:32 AM »
I'm one of those people who has a habit of saying the unkind that happens to be true (at least some of the time). My good friends all know this, they know that I don't say things to be mean, and if I do put my foot in my mouth they tell me.

That's one way I know who my good friends are.

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2015, 10:40:02 PM »
I've had the situations where someone offered me a ride because they felt they were obligated, not because they wanted to and were sometimes passive aggressive about it. I just said no or didn't ask for rides because of it.

clarkfan1979

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #31 on: March 14, 2015, 04:49:27 AM »
weirdo is different than ungrateful. I think weirdo is a compliment. You are very weird in that you don't live paycheck to paycheck.

stlbrah

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #32 on: March 14, 2015, 10:59:00 AM »
she probably just wanted an excuse to talk/hang out

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Re: "I love you but you are a weirdo"
« Reply #33 on: March 16, 2015, 11:08:08 AM »
weirdo is different than ungrateful. I think weirdo is a compliment. You are very weird in that you don't live paycheck to paycheck.

I think most people place a high value on "convenience" and would have just accepted the ride; to do otherwise would just be, I dunno, WEIRD ;-)

I would say most of us here on this forum qualify as "weirdos" in the bigger picture, because we are financial/philosophical outliers as compared to the general population.