Author Topic: $90k Wedding Fallout  (Read 37683 times)

SpacemanSpiff

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #100 on: July 09, 2014, 12:17:55 PM »
They did not know that it isn't the church ceremony that "marries you"; rather, it's the license from city hall.

To be fair, marriage is still a religious sacrament for many people, and so it is the church ceremony that "marries you". Not everyone's perspective obviously, but I wouldn't put a church service in the same category as, say, "$5000 worth of flowers".

Great point that a lot of people don't realize.  DW and I got married in a basilica and it cost us $100 from the Church itself.  The Church was gorgeous enough that decorative flowers weren't even needed beyond the bouquets held by the bridal party.  We were so surprised that it was so low that we got the pastor a $20 gift card to his favorite restaurant as an add-on (mustachian guy - he won't allow anyone to give him a gift more than that).

thefrugalnudists

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #101 on: July 21, 2014, 06:25:02 AM »
Our wedding cost less than $50 for the fee for the town hall where we had the actual ceremony and then less than $400 for the dinner for  our guests. My wife's dress cost around $500 and I think my shoes were around $100. The witness for my wife at the wedding took our pictures for free. And we made an album online for our photos.
This was in Sicily so the food at the restaurant after was ridiculous and we have amazing pictures at a small castle and some others on the side of a mountain with views of the coast behind us. And awesome memories with no stress.
Oh I almost forgot the flowers cost about $30.

CaliToCayman

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #102 on: July 21, 2014, 12:01:40 PM »
While the cost of the wedding is insane, I always get a kick out of the wedding registries. $300 toasters and $50 wine glasses (per glass!). Although to be fair, people must have thought our registry was weird - we had things like a gopro camera, hiking backpacks, and $20-$50 kitchenware and it was only for the people who werent able to come to the wedding but wanted to get us something. Since we did a destination wedding we thought it would be unbelievably rude of us to ask people for gifts when they traveled all that way for us.

As far as the CW goes, he and his wife are beyond a good ol MMM face punch. The nerve of them to just tell the parents they are SUPPOSED to pay whatever they say is unreal. When we got married, we were fortunate enough that my parents gave us a decent chunk (about 1/3 of the total cost) for the wedding, but by no means did we even expect it from them. And for the record, while I think we spent way too much (we organized most of it before stumbling upon MMM), we not only paid the wedding off in cash - we then paid off a $30k student loan the next month.

MgoSam

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #103 on: July 21, 2014, 12:23:08 PM »
While the cost of the wedding is insane, I always get a kick out of the wedding registries. $300 toasters and $50 wine glasses (per glass!).

Yeah that is a good point. It is insane the things that many people request. I suspect some would prefer cash but since it isn't considered appropriate to request that, they instead will return registry items, which I imagine can be a pain to do. I prefer giving a cash for weddings, and while it may not be considered appropriate, they somehow are always cashed :-).

RootofGood

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #104 on: July 22, 2014, 07:36:04 PM »
Our wedding cost less than $50 for the fee for the town hall where we had the actual ceremony and then less than $400 for the dinner for  our guests. My wife's dress cost around $500 and I think my shoes were around $100. The witness for my wife at the wedding took our pictures for free. And we made an album online for our photos.
This was in Sicily so the food at the restaurant after was ridiculous and we have amazing pictures at a small castle and some others on the side of a mountain with views of the coast behind us. And awesome memories with no stress.
Oh I almost forgot the flowers cost about $30.

Given your username, I would have guessed your wife's attire and yours would both be free.  Go figure!

To OP, thanks for the funny story.  That's insane and if my kids pulled that shit on me (pay $30k or you're disinvited from our wedding), I'd be pulling up my Willmaker software and making some bequest changes PDQ to disinvite them from their inheritance. 

I have to imagine the parents somehow allowed this asshattery to occur throughout the 30-something years of their kids' lives, and now the parents are experiencing the natural consequences of raising an unmustachian kid. 

iris lily

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #105 on: July 22, 2014, 07:43:01 PM »


Given your username, I would have guessed your wife's attire and yours would both be free.  Go figure!

To OP, thanks for the funny story.  That's insane and if my kids pulled that shit on me (pay $30k or you're disinvited from our wedding), I'd be pulling up my Willmaker software and making some bequest changes PDQ to disinvite them from their inheritance. 

I have to imagine the parents somehow allowed this asshattery to occur throughout the 30-something years of their kids' lives, and now the parents are experiencing the natural consequences of raising an unmustachian kid.

Wedding Entitlement Mentality knows no bounds. Today on the Wedding Bee website there is an Australian bride-to-be who is bragging about her ability to save $500/month for her wedding, she's up to $12,000 now in her wedding fund. Problem is that she's on the government dole, and today people are calling her on that bit of moral hypocrisy. Predictably, she is answering in the defensive, justifying her goobermnet check.

Glad it's you Aussies and not us here in the U.S. although I'm sure similar things are taking place. Please do not tell me about that.  :)

bop

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #106 on: July 22, 2014, 08:25:11 PM »
While the cost of the wedding is insane, I always get a kick out of the wedding registries. $300 toasters and $50 wine glasses (per glass!).
That reminds me of a wedding I attended nearly 20 years ago.  Among other things, the registry listed 8 wine glasses for $25 and 8 water glasses for $25.  So I figured I would get both.  I called up the registry company and their rep said, "Oh, you are so generous!  That will be $400 please."  I was confuzzled, until it dawned on me that the price was $25 for *each* glass.  I replied, "Um, actually I will just order the water glasses."  So I spent $200 when I meant to spend only $50.  I should have backed out more completely, but I was too embarrassed to after being called so generous.  Live and learn.   
« Last Edit: July 22, 2014, 08:27:36 PM by bop »

philby85

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #107 on: July 23, 2014, 02:07:25 AM »
I should have backed out more completely, but I was too embarrassed to after being called so generous.  Live and learn.   

"Hello. Hello! Can you hear me? Oh damn, the line must have dropped out. I'll call you back." *click*

suburbanmom

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #108 on: July 23, 2014, 05:38:19 AM »
The $90,000 wedding is crazy but not surprising. My husband's friend got married about 10 years ago. They wanted a fancy event (for middle of no-where Indiana), but neither the bride, groom or their families had any funds to contribute. They charged $15,000 on credit cards; they later filed bankruptcy when they got divorced 5 years later.
My husband and I got married for less than $500, 9 years later we are still happily married. :)

AZlawyer

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #109 on: July 23, 2014, 11:59:03 AM »
Student loans, mortgages, cars, weddings.  All seem to be great excuses to spend more than you can afford.  I was smart on 3 of the 4, but reluctantly admit having a $30k wedding.  Before we planned it, our parents each offered to contribute $10k.  We had the money for the rest and chose to spend it that way.  It covered a lot - rings, dress, venue, reception, honeymoon.  I can't say I regret it, it was a choice we made, but I also can't pretend I really understood the impact of spending so much money.  I'm sure I would've done things differently had I been exposed to MMM back then. 

The saddest part to me is my parents unknowingly lived the MMM lifestyle (first by necessity, then by habit) and they taught me the importance of saving.  On top of that, I have a finance degree.  Even with that background I still didn't fully understand money until my 30's.  Luckily for me enough of my parents' habits rubbed off and I'm in decent shape, despite my ignorance.  But if I didn't understand the value of money until recently, I can certainly see how others can be oblivious.  If people don't spend their early years struggling for money, it's no surprise they take it for granted.

I saw someone post a suggestion for the OP to give the gift of personal finance books.  I second that.  If it's uncomfortable for you to give the books, then buy your normal gift and leave the books anonymously on the gift table.  He may never read them, but you have the chance to legitimately change the course of this guy's life if he does.

clarkfan1979

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Re: $90k Wedding Fallout
« Reply #110 on: July 24, 2014, 01:32:48 PM »
We had our wedding at a hotel in Denver. We got a 10% discount for having it on a Friday. The price was $115/person (including tax and gratuity) which included 4 hours of wine/beer and cake.

Our DJ was $500. My mother in law wanted to pay for the flowers at 1K. My sister in law wanted to pay for the photographer which was 2K. The grand total for 95 people was 14.5K. This is still expensive for a wedding but I think relatively inexpensive for a catered wedding.

This comes to $152/person for everything. I think an over the top expensive wedding would be $300/person. At $600/person I think they are just getting screwed by the wedding planner because they don't seem to care about the cost.