Author Topic: When/If to quit a horrible job you hate (that you will likely get fired from)  (Read 3216 times)

ObviouslyNotAGolfer

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My wife recently started a new job, which, for a variety of reasons seemed like a really good new opportunity for her. It was also a nice bump in income for us, although we have all of our money, retirement, and benefits bases covered through my job. I have always considered her job as extra income.

Anyway, everything has turned to shite, and she is really annoyed and depressed that everyone at her new workplace is constantly criticizing her work and pointing out mistakes. She is routinely criticized for not knowing how to do things that she was never even trained on. A few days ago a few people gave her crap for not doing something that their department has NEVER done. An e-mail came down the pike saying, um, that department DOES NOT DO THAT.

To be clear, the fact is that these people are rock-bottom piece of trash human beings, who, among other things, instruct her to lie to clients. They have no idea how to hire, train, and motivate employees. They have no idea how to staff an office and cultivate anything other than a toxic work environment. By their own admission, they are "desperate" for good employees and have a toxic workplace environment. The two top people at this company are constantly at each others' throats.  Losers all around!

My wife has picked up on more than a few clues around the office that she is getting fired. She is very surprised that it did not happen on Friday.

I really hate seeing her so depressed, but we are both on the fence about what to do. Here are the options:

Quit? (she will be goddamned if she will give them two weeks' or even two picoseconds' notice. They are very short staffed right now, but fcuk them!) I think this will look/sound much better when she goes on her next job interview.

Stick it out and wait to get fired? (and this way, collect unemployment----I guess...)

I advised her to lay it on the line to her boss (someone who claims to be her "friend"), but my wife thinks it is hopeless. She thinks they are only keeping her on to cover for someone's vacation.

Any thoughts? Thanks.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2020, 07:08:16 PM by ObviouslyNotAGolfer »

SunnyDays

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Wait until they fire her, then thank them!

mozar

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I have always waited until I was fired. But it depends just how depressed she is. I think it's better to either be fired or wait to quit once you have something else lined up. The most important thing is not get wrapped up in their emotional games.

deborah

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Toxic environments can cause you problems for a long time after you leave them, so it depends upon just how much it's affecting the person concerned. It appears to me that your wife is being badly affected, so I'd leave now - the benefits are outweighed by the effects. However, if she can laugh it off, and can look at the positive sides of being fired, then staying makes sense, since it will give a better financial outcome.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Quit immediately. It's soooooooo not worth it to work in a toxic environment. It undermines everything good in your life. Just get gone and move on.

Case

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My wife recently started a new job, which, for a variety of reasons seemed like a really good new opportunity for her. It was also a nice bump in income for us, although we have all of our money, retirement, and benefits bases covered through my job. I have always considered her job as extra income.

Anyway, everything has turned to shite, and she is really annoyed and depressed that everyone at her new workplace is constantly criticizing her work and pointing out mistakes. She is routinely criticized for not knowing how to do things that she was never even trained on. A few days ago a few people gave her crap for not doing something that their department has NEVER done. An e-mail came down the pike saying, um, that department DOES NOT DO THAT.

To be clear, the fact is that these people are rock-bottom piece of trash human beings, who, among other things, instruct her to lie to clients. They have no idea how to hire, train, and motivate employees. They have no idea how to staff an office and cultivate anything other than a toxic work environment. By their own admission, they are "desperate" for good employees and have a toxic workplace environment. The two top people at this company are constantly at each others' throats.  Losers all around!

My wife has picked up on more than a few clues around the office that she is getting fired. She is very surprised that it did not happen on Friday.

I really hate seeing her so depressed, but we are both on the fence about what to do. Here are the options:

Quit? (she will be goddamned if she will give them two weeks' or even two picoseconds' notice. They are very short staffed right now, but fcuk them!) I think this will look/sound much better when she goes on her next job interview.

Stick it out and wait to get fired? (and this way, collect unemployment----I guess...)

I advised her to lay it on the line to her boss (someone who claims to be her "friend"), but my wife thinks it is hopeless. She thinks they are only keeping her on to cover for someone's vacation.

Any thoughts? Thanks.

Quit.

You say you don’t need the money, so then you don’t need the unemployment benefit.  If you’re wife is fired then there is a risk she’ll feel even more personally insulted.  Somethings are worth more than money.  Quit immediately.

wageslave23

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Quit.  That's the whole point of having money.  I told my gc, from now on you never put up with a work situation where you feel disrespected.  Leave immediately, the money doesn't matter.

Metalcat

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Quit.

Abuse like that can have long term effects that people don't even consciously notice. Never voluntarily suffer trauma/psychological damage unless absolutely necessary.

If she's getting depressed, she's suffering damage.
That's unacceptable.

TomTX

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1) Document.
2) Burn all leave time.
3) Take on an IDGAF attitude. Don't take shit from anyone while remaining professional
4) Get fired
5) Collect unemployment (Presuming enough time employed to qualify - if not, stop after Step 2.

Fishindude

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If you don't like your job, you put in your notice and quit.
All this strategy stuff; trying to get fired, having a IDGAF attitude, etc. is immature BS.

BikeFanatic

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Quit Immediately!  No notice, I second that this is Abuse. If it were me I would give someone an earful, or just not show up Monday.

Bloop Bloop

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If you don't like your job, you put in your notice and quit.
All this strategy stuff; trying to get fired, having a IDGAF attitude, etc. is immature BS.

Yes. I'm extremely surprised to see that on the forums.

Use up your sick leave if you want - where I'm from, that can't be cashed out, so you might as well use it. Beyond that, resign and quit. I guess if you think you're going to be made redundant you can hang around till that to try to get the severance package but otherwise just quit.

An IDGAF attitude is incredibly corrosive for the employee.

TomTX

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I probably overstated things with the IDGAF attitude.

Do your work, ignore the bullshit/abuse.

This was presented as "likely to be fired soon" - and I say stick around a bit to get unemployment.

Padonak

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Don't know which country or state or province this is but is there any way she can get medical leave due to stress?

John Galt incarnate!

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My wife recently started a new job, which, for a variety of reasons seemed like a really good new opportunity for her. It was also a nice bump in income for us, although we have all of our money, retirement, and benefits bases covered through my job. I have always considered her job as extra income.

Anyway, everything has turned to shite, and she is really annoyed and depressed that everyone at her new workplace is constantly criticizing her work and pointing out mistakes. She is routinely criticized for not knowing how to do things that she was never even trained on. A few days ago a few people gave her crap for not doing something that their department has NEVER done. An e-mail came down the pike saying, um, that department DOES NOT DO THAT.

To be clear, the fact is that these people are rock-bottom piece of trash human beings, who, among other things, instruct her to lie to clients. They have no idea how to hire, train, and motivate employees. They have no idea how to staff an office and cultivate anything other than a toxic work environment. By their own admission, they are "desperate" for good employees and have a toxic workplace environment. The two top people at this company are constantly at each others' throats.  Losers all around!

My wife has picked up on more than a few clues around the office that she is getting fired. She is very surprised that it did not happen on Friday.

I really hate seeing her so depressed, but we are both on the fence about what to do. Here are the options:

Quit? (she will be goddamned if she will give them two weeks' or even two picoseconds' notice. They are very short staffed right now, but fcuk them!) I think this will look/sound much better when she goes on her next job interview.

Stick it out and wait to get fired? (and this way, collect unemployment----I guess...)

I advised her to lay it on the line to her boss (someone who claims to be her "friend"), but my wife thinks it is hopeless. She thinks they are only keeping her on to cover for someone's vacation.

Any thoughts? Thanks.

I read the title of your post yesterday.

I thought I had an easy answer for you which was

1. Quit now to  be relieved from the unhappiness and  stress of  the hated job.

2. I think quitting  a job looks better on a résumé than being fired.

But after reading your post this morning I gather that if your wife decides to stay until fired  she may be eligible for unemployment benefits, which is a plus.

So I don't know which course of action is obviously preferable.

rantk81

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I'd ride it out to the bitter end, with an "IDGAF" attitude.
Short of actual physical assault, threats, or sexual harassment -- I'd let all the other bullshit just roll off my shoulders.  Document everything, and file for UI when the time comes.

Freedomin5

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I was in a similar situation a few years ago. My advice is to start looking for another job. Quit the day your wife signs a job offer with another company. If she’s fired before she is able to find another job, then collect unemployment until she finds another job.

Villanelle

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It would depend on just how depressed I was, but I would likely start looking immediately, stop caring immediately (bare minimum, in a somewhat obvious way), and hope they let me go.  If they let her go, she gets unemployment, most likely (look in to the terms to be sure);  If she quits, it's nothing. 

Rcc

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Dropped in to ask, while she felt it was hopeless. What does she want to do, and how does she want to handle it?

MrThatsDifferent

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Knowing what I know now about employment and how businesses are run, this is what I would do:
1. Go to a doctors and describe the mental stress that is being caused by work and how damaging it is
2. Leave work using all the sick leave available
3. While off work (well, now actually) start applying for new work or just plan to not work, if can be afforded
4. After exhausting sick leave, then either use up your vacation leave or resign and get paid out the vacation leave
5. Book in a spa day or a weekend away somewhere nice to move on from that toxic situation

ObviouslyNotAGolfer

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Thanks for all the comments. I told her I would support her no matter what she decides.

Out of curiosity--Does an employer prefer an unwanted employee to quit as opposed to being fired due to having to pay unemployment? I assume employers pay into it as a matter of course, and don't pay more if you collect--is that correct?

As for unemployment, she could explain that this was a toxic work environment and she has been suffering considerable stress. Documenting all of this is excellent advice, and we have been doing this.

Anyway, she's only been there a month or so. She reminded me today that the person who preceded her in that position quit after less than two weeks.

« Last Edit: March 08, 2020, 05:18:30 PM by ObviouslyNotAGolfer »

BlueHouse

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Quit.

Abuse like that can have long term effects that people don't even consciously notice. Never voluntarily suffer trauma/psychological damage unless absolutely necessary.

If she's getting depressed, she's suffering damage.
That's unacceptable.

As usual, @Malkynn nails it.

That said, I would like to point out to people that getting fired isn't as bad as we've always been taught.  If she stays and waits to be fired, wear it like a badge of honor and when this story is told, make sure to be the one to say "It would have looked so much worse if I had stayed on.  That company has nothing to be proud of and I'm glad I didn't fit in there." 

Sorry for you and your wife.  It sucks!

partgypsy

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If you can get by without the money then she should quit! I've been in an abusive work environment and I feel the damage in retrospect was more than realized. I was the primary breadwinner and did not feel I could quit. Also you have to have worked a minimum amount of time to be eligible for unemployment, I think it depends on the state but it's like 6 months or a year. No way it's worth it for her to wait around that long waiting to be fired.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2020, 06:20:44 PM by partgypsy »

Faramir

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Quit, she'll dread every minute she stays.  She'll be miserable at home thinking about her job.

If she's been there only a month and they're giving her shit for not knowing stuff, then they aren't worth working for. 

Even if collecting unemployment is an option after working somewhere a month, it doesn't sound worth it.

KBecks

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Is she looking for other jobs right now?  She should aggressively seek other employment and then walk out when her new job is secured.

JMHO.  Good luck!

MrThatsDifferent

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Thanks for all the comments. I told her I would support her no matter what she decides.

Out of curiosity--Does an employer prefer an unwanted employee to quit as opposed to being fired due to having to pay unemployment? I assume employers pay into it as a matter of course, and don't pay more if you collect--is that correct?

As for unemployment, she could explain that this was a toxic work environment and she has been suffering considerable stress. Documenting all of this is excellent advice, and we have been doing this.

Anyway, she's only been there a month or so. She reminded me today that the person who preceded her in that position quit after less than two weeks.

A month!?! Quit immediately.

Zamboni

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Definitely quit.

If she's been there such a short amount of time, she can get a new job (if she prefers to work right now) and then never even list this toxic hell hole on her resume again. It's such a short time it won't even look like a gap in employment by next year.

Pretty much from every angle, the shorter time she works in this situation, the better.

Dicey

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Such a short stint needn't even be mentioned on a resume. If ever asked, she could say it was so awful, shes blocked it from her memory. I add my strong voice to the Quit Chorus.

ChickenStash

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Since there's a backup income available, quit immediately. Given the description of the environment, I wouldn't even give notice or quit in person - an email would suffice.  There's also no rule that one has to list every employer on a resume so if it isn't helpful, drop it. 

My last job was a similarly toxic environment and I managed to tough it out waiting for another opportunity to come along. I could have quit right away and lived off the stash for a bit since I don't have a backup income but I chose to make the best of a bad situation by picking up some new skills while I waited. I can't say I'd recommend that course, though. They made me a terrible person to be around and it took a while for me to return to (my) normal.

Padonak

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Such a short stint needn't even be mentioned on a resume. If ever asked, she could say it was so awful, shes blocked it from her memory. I add my strong voice to the Quit Chorus.

Yes, if she hasn't put this job on LinkedIn yet she shoudln't. If she has, she should just remove it once she quits. This is why it's a good idea to wait a few months before updating your linkedin profile when you get a new job.

By the River

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Such a short stint needn't even be mentioned on a resume. If ever asked, she could say it was so awful, shes blocked it from her memory. I add my strong voice to the Quit Chorus.

I agree, quit now.  I lasted 6 weeks in a job because the actual job was so different from what was described in the interview.  After that, my resume said left company A in March, started company C in April.   Didn't say that between March 2 and April 15 was company B.

DeepEllumStache

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Quit. Bad workplaces screw with your understanding of norms, burn you out, and negatively impact your health. Jobs that horrible are prime examples of why having FU money is such a huge relief.

bacchi

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Come in late and leave early to make up for it.

EliteZags

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how long do you need to be with an employer to qualify for unemployment? prob longer than a month?

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!