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Author Topic: Your FU Job Title  (Read 19710 times)

LennStar

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Your FU Job Title
« on: December 12, 2020, 06:38:23 AM »
Based on @snowball new job title

Quote
My new title? Section Head, Dragon and Pixiedust Wrangling.

I think we should go deep into our knowledge of Bullshittery and create a new title for ourself, too. May it be your current job, one you had earlier or the one you want to have after FIRE - put them here to the enlightement and lightement of everyone in these dark times!


Since I so often correct commas, I think I should get the title of 
Senior Advisor for Arcane Epistemological Grammatical Correctness
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SwordGuy

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2020, 07:55:47 AM »
Quote from: LennStar on December 12, 2020, 06:38:23 AM

Since I so often correct commas, I think I should get the title of 
Senior Advisor for Arcane Epistemological Grammatical Correctness

More fun if you don't give them an easy clue in the tag...
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SwordGuy

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2020, 07:56:45 AM »
Automator of Absurdity
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Jack0Life

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2020, 09:23:24 AM »
Laziness beyond belief.
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markbike528CBX

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2020, 09:23:58 AM »
There might be a few gems here, https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/what's-your-job-title-and-how-much-do-you-earn/
But generally, title on that thread is not eligible for this one.

People had fun with a similar idea here
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/business-card-ideas/


Space for more search results ......


Personally I'm a  "Gentleman of Leisure"   , sure beats "Principal Field Service Engineer" when I'm not an engineer in any sense. 
« Last Edit: December 12, 2020, 09:32:36 AM by markbike528CBX »
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friedmmj

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2020, 09:48:13 AM »
Senior Director of Wandering and Exploring
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Morning Glory

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2020, 10:29:44 AM »
Introspection expert
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Duke03

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2020, 10:37:20 AM »
I plan on referring to myself as a "Stay at home Astronaut".
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rantk81

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2020, 01:55:58 PM »
Portfolio Manager
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SwordGuy

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2020, 03:36:50 PM »
My favorite old-time job title, from way back in the day, was "Knocker-up".

I was disappointed to find that was someone who got up really early and went around and knocked on worker's doors to awaken them for work.   This was back when folks didn't have alarm clocks.
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bacchi

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2020, 04:04:47 PM »
VP, Loafing
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asauer

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2020, 04:15:10 PM »
Current: Sr. Director of Forced Learning
Future: Landed Gentry
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dblaace

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2020, 04:31:00 PM »
Ass Magician
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Freedomin5

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2020, 05:28:40 PM »
Mind Reader
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yakamashii

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2020, 05:33:57 PM »
President of Puzzling
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Rhinodad

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2020, 07:08:23 PM »
V.P. Anti Group Think
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E.T.

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2020, 07:28:30 PM »
My future hopeful titles are: Citizen Scientist, Expert of Eccentricity, Dame of Dabbling, or possibly Lady of Leisure but not the euphemistic version ;)
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Focus_on_the_fire

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2020, 07:44:30 PM »
Current: Product/Portfolio Manager
Future: Mistress of the Hounds
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AMandM

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2020, 08:03:59 PM »
My aunt, who managed a house and a couple of acres of outbuildings, including a schoolhouse converted to a theatre, and who hosted a constant stream of houseguests and visitors from all over the world, who gathered for delicious meals around her table, once described herself as "just a housewife." My mother said, "No, Pat, you're a life enhancer." That's the title I aspire to.
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Wile E. Coyote

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #19 on: December 12, 2020, 09:36:29 PM »
 CFO - Chief “Fuck Off”icer 😉
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Metalcat

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #20 on: December 12, 2020, 09:44:44 PM »
Trophy Wife ;)
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HotTubes

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #21 on: December 12, 2020, 10:21:44 PM »
Currently -  HMFIC *
Future -  Deputy Assistant Secretary, Stargazing and Angling



* [Stolen idea from the late Mayor of Detroit Coleman Young}
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Rubic

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2020, 07:05:20 AM »
The digital version of my corporate title used to be "Grand Poobah", implying that although I was the boss, I didn't take my job title too seriously.
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ZsaZsa

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2020, 08:34:53 AM »
Two cats and two dogs...I am the Pet Concierge.
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Car Jack

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2020, 08:39:04 AM »
At one of my jobs in the past, business cards were ordered online through a company portal.  I decided to test if anyone reviewed what was being ordered.  Because I'm a car guy by hobby and a Switching Power Supply Engineer by my job, I chose the title: "Power Guy".  I was always being introduced to new clients as "the Power Guy", so it made sense to everyone I handed my card to.

With FU money, I'd simply like all to address me "Your Highness".
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G-dog

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2020, 09:36:41 AM »
Director of Common Sense
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MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2020, 11:57:43 AM »
CEO, Travel and Leisure
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mozar

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2020, 01:35:36 PM »
Vice Chairwoman of Navel Gazing
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markbike528CBX

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #28 on: December 13, 2020, 04:23:41 PM »
Quote from: G-dog on December 13, 2020, 09:36:41 AM
Director of Common Sense
You have teenage boys in the house?
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G-dog

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #29 on: December 13, 2020, 04:33:19 PM »
Quote from: markbike528CBX on December 13, 2020, 04:23:41 PM
Quote from: G-dog on December 13, 2020, 09:36:41 AM
Director of Common Sense
You have teenage boys in the house?

Nope - worked in academia and BigCorp - both of which have a shocking lack of common sense (e.g., build new building, put sod down outside, then a few months later tear up sod for irrigation installation).
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Adventine

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #30 on: December 13, 2020, 06:25:53 PM »
Current: Team Coordinator
Post-FIRE: The One and Only Nyan
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BussoV6

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2020, 03:35:22 AM »
Asset Manager  or  Director of canine & feline activities.
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jinga nation

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2020, 08:53:51 AM »
FU Title: <No title>

A title means responsibilities and tasks and actions. I want none, nada, zip.

In all reality, in FU world, I'll still be wife's handyman, gardener, chef, workout buddy, travel buddy, etc. There's no escaping happy prison sentence. And I'll remain Dad, Daddy, Bank of Dad for the kids, even though we're teaching them thrift and Mustachianism.
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FIRE Artist

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Re: Your FU Job Title
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2020, 09:21:30 AM »
Artist
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Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!