Author Topic: What is your why?  (Read 1652 times)

El Jacinto

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What is your why?
« on: January 07, 2019, 05:54:38 PM »
Many have said that the hardest part of the process is what happens after you retire. We are supposed to retire to something and not from something.

Personally, I donít find happiness in much. There isnít a job I am going to enjoy doing (currently an auditor), and I donít even spend all of my free time with my family when I am home now. Instead, I generally go upstairs and play video games. I do enjoy travel, but that would get old if I did it all the time. Really, the only thing Iíve ever enjoyed enough to do all the time is play sports, but my body doesnít allow that anymore.

So I am curious, what is everyoneís reason for wanting to retire early, and how did you discover it?

DreamFIRE

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2019, 06:07:37 PM »
No video games here.  I actually want the freedom and more time to do things including traveling, biking, spending time with family and friends, enjoy more social activities and entertainment, etc.  I don't want to get too much into any one thing or hobby that sucks too much of my time.  I think more in terms of variety.  There have been some previous threads you might be interested in on that topic:

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/what-do-you-plan-to-do-in-fire/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/daydreaming-about-fire/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/i-am-afraid-i-will-be-bored-when-i-fire/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/am-i-too-lazy-for-fire/

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/did-you-know-what-you-wanted-to-do-post-fire-when-you-started/

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« Last Edit: January 07, 2019, 06:31:51 PM by DreamFIRE »

kei te pai

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2019, 09:09:11 PM »
Are you depressed?  Do you not have things you are curious about, books you want to read, skills you would like to try and learn?
What about going for a walk in the sunshine instead of sitting in an office - everyday, instead of once a week?
Sleeping in on a cold wet monday morning?
Seriously, if there is very little you have happiness in now, early retirement is not the issue
Gaming may be just a way of numbing the emptiness you are feeling.

maizeman

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2019, 10:55:07 PM »
You don't have to do any one thing all the time.  Variety is the spice of life.

I want to be able to sleep in on a Tuesday, or spend a weekend not feeling guilty about all the work projects I'm behind on and should really be spending this time trying to catch up on (because you're never actually caught up).

I don't know completely how I'd actually fill my days. Maybe get a dog. Maybe exercise more. Maybe cook more. Maybe rebuild my network of social connections. Maybe spend more time in nature. Maybe travel a little. Little by little it adds up and starts to fill the days and weeks.

Tuskalusa

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2019, 11:02:38 PM »
To me FI is about being able to select jobs without worrying about what they pay. I can pick a job on whether I think it will be fun or rewarding.

DaMa

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2019, 05:47:42 AM »
I worked in health insurance and hated seeing all the money wasted, but I was living the typical American lifestyle and couldn't afford to make a change.  I had already started downsizing my life when I found MMM while looking for info on cheaper cell phone plans.

Post FIRE my days are still packed.  I've gone to mostly vegan eating so I spend a lot more time meal planning and cooking.  I also took up gardening and knitting.  I spend more time reading, sewing, playing video games, and working puzzles.  I spend more time with friends and family.  I also walk every day.  I also do my own house cleaning.

For me, the reduction in my stress levels has been even more valuable than the extra free time.

Cool Friend

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2019, 07:34:21 AM »
I haven't found a why yet, so I am still planning on retiring from something, which is: dealing with other people's bullshit all day on a compulsory basis. 

I've had chronic depression nonstop for 20 years. Statistically speaking, it's not likely to ever go away.  The best I can hope for is to manage it and live with it the best I can.  Unfortunately, one of its key features is being unable to feel meaning and joy in things.  My hope is that when I (eventually) buy back my own time and freedom, I will feel less depressed and maybe even be able to develop meaning.  I realize Not Wanting To Die All The Time seems like kind of low-hanging fruit in terms of life goals, but for me it's the obstacle the precludes any other goal.

The other unanswered question is how to make life worthwhile until I can buy back that freedom.  That's an ongoing project.

Just Joe

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2019, 07:49:34 AM »
Projects. I want to build stuff and fix stuff and change stuff. I like to work with my hands. Variety is still important as others have detailed.

Freedom to do as I please. I actually don't think some people deal well with freedom. Decision overload. They get bored. They want or need structure. Responsibilities give them reason to leave their cave.

I hate it when time to go to work rolls around and the day is beautiful, whatever the season.

driftwood

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2019, 07:54:35 AM »
The freedom to maybe go and find my why.

Can't find it now, been looking for 37 years so far.

I envy those with purpose, this all seems so pointless to me. Work to eat to spawn, work more, or not work, but travel to see places, but that just pollutes more, then eventually it all falls apart and you die. Any good you do will be outweighed by the shittiness of the masses... just see the literal shit piling up in national parks right now.

Just Joe

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2019, 07:59:32 AM »
Just jumping back in here to say I feel I give my employer my best hours of every day. I'd prefer to give myself and my family the best hours of my day. By the time I return home in the evening some days I'm spent.

Driftwood - what makes you happy despite the "...and then you die" aspect of life?

I search for what makes me happy and then build an inventory of these activities and then rotate them because everything in moderation. I've watched others develop very narrowly defined activities that made them happy. Once the fun had worn off, they had nothing they liked to do for long periods of time and sometimes fell into a long unhappy period.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 08:08:42 AM by Just Joe »

eljefe-speaks

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2019, 08:27:52 AM »
So you love sports, but your body is starting to let you down. Do something competitive with people (in-person) that is not as physically demanding. Ping-Pong, bowling-league, Bocce, Chess, foosball, become a little-league umpire, become a ref in the local adult sports league (this also pays money), etc.   

wenchsenior

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2019, 10:18:13 AM »
So you love sports, but your body is starting to let you down. Do something competitive with people (in-person) that is not as physically demanding. Ping-Pong, bowling-league, Bocce, Chess, foosball, become a little-league umpire, become a ref in the local adult sports league (this also pays money), etc.

OP, your posts in another thread also indicate that your diet might be low on nutrients, esp micronutrients, which would definitely compromise some elements of sports performance.  My husband in his late 50s, and has definitely had to modify his sports activity based on joints, recovery time, etc.  But he eats very well and I suspect that is why he's been able to maintain a high level of performance and healthy weight long past most of his peers.  Hell, he can still outperform a lot of his graduate students. But eating pbj sandwiches twice a day would definitely not get him there.

chemistk

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2019, 06:19:25 AM »
You don't have to do any one thing all the time.  Variety is the spice of life.

I want to be able to sleep in on a Tuesday, or spend a weekend not feeling guilty about all the work projects I'm behind on and should really be spending this time trying to catch up on (because you're never actually caught up).

I don't know completely how I'd actually fill my days. Maybe get a dog. Maybe exercise more. Maybe cook more. Maybe rebuild my network of social connections. Maybe spend more time in nature. Maybe travel a little. Little by little it adds up and starts to fill the days and weeks.

Mostly this.

When I first found the general concept of FI, I was passively looking for ways to make $$$ on the side. I never expected that my perspective on work, money, and independence (not just financial) would change. This was only a few years ago, but looking back I had no clue what I was doing. I had absolutely no life plan either. I don't necessarily have a defined plan now but the journey through the FI-sphere has opened up a whole new paradigm and given me a ton of tools to get to where I think I want to be.

These days, I too look at my working hours and seriously question why I am devoting some of the best hours of my day in the best years of my life to a job that's nice but not fulfilling. As pretentious as it sounds, the traditional middle class lifestyle is really starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I don't have any crazy plans to retire in a foreign country, or to live off-grid, or to take up an intense hobby/activity - I just want my time to feel like my own and not someone else's.

Philociraptor

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2019, 07:15:37 AM »
Simple: to not be forced to trade my time for money.

What will I do with that time when I'm free? No idea. All those prompts people use to clarify what they want in life don't do anything for me. Sounds like you might be in the same boat. Hit me up if you find a good answer.

Chuck Ditallin

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #14 on: January 09, 2019, 07:43:41 AM »

I hate it when time to go to work rolls around and the day is beautiful, whatever the season.

I work two days a week at the moment, before full FIRE at the end of August. Today the sun is shining and I am at work. This is not good.

What will I do with the time? During my current 5 day weekends, I sleep til after it gets light, listening to the distant hum of the traffic in rush-hour. I have several hobbies which I enjoy playing at. Some days, I just waste, doing absolutely nothing. It's the freedom of choice which I enjoy the most.

Of course, the non-work-related bad things still happen, just as they used to, but I now have the time and energy 'headroom' to be able to deal with them without subsequent exhaustion. I expect this will only get easier with 7 days a week off! I may not necessarily have found happiness, but I am more relaxed and content. The next stage will be dialling some extra overt happiness back in.

HenryDavid

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2019, 10:10:16 AM »
My "why" has always been: to moderate my own environmental impact by limiting consumption.

The great thing is this: if you set about to reduce your consumption of electricity, fossil fuels, and just material resources in general, you automatically spend WAY LESS MONEY. Because for the most part, consumption = spending = use of resources.
My household has a long way to go in improving this even further. And yet, over 15 years, the simplest, most intrinsically enjoyable and fulfilling ways of reducing consumption--biking to work, reducing utility bills, eating basic healthy local food wherever possible, being judicious about travel, avoiding mindless acquisition of stuff--have already led us to retire from full-time work 10 years earlier than we might otherwise have done. It just works all by itself. And we only really got into this around age 40.

So, limiting consumption but still living an extremely comfortable life, with some travel included, has brought our spending way below the local median income. And yet, subjectively, we feel we live like millionaires. And we no longer need jobs to sustain this for another 25-30 years. How would "more" of anything (more house, more car, more cool stuff, more whatever) bring us more enjoyment than e already have? We just can't see it.

Just Joe

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #16 on: January 09, 2019, 11:24:51 AM »
HenryDavid - I really liked your post. The whole thread is really good.

We're making choices to take us closer to our MMM style ideal lifestyle. Forever slowly optimizing based on what we invent or what we discover here from the forums.

I can't imagine living life any differently now. It would feel like surrendering to the marketing machine that steers so many others' lives.

The thought of going to a bigger or more expensive lifestyle or living further from the places we go really doesn't have the appeal it once did. We could afford to.

We're really drawn to these simplistic choices we've made.  Its like finding our favorite everything.

soccerluvof4

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #17 on: January 09, 2019, 11:50:40 AM »
I rolled the dice and didn't retire to anything but retired from a job that was killing me. It took me awhile and I am still figuring things out but definitely am finding more and more things I enjoy because I am not burnt out all the time from work. And i get to see my kids grow up more. Your writing does seem somewhat depressing in that you don't like anything really and perhaps as I mentioned you job is taking all the wind out of your sails.

nick663

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #18 on: January 09, 2019, 08:52:59 PM »
I'm in a cyclical industry in an area that is completely dependent on that cyclical industry.  I don't know if I'll retire early but I would like to have the funds available to weather anything that comes along.

My goal at the moment is to reach FI.  After I get there, I'll assess whether I want to inflate my lifestyle slightly (would inflate FI target to compensate for new lifestyle), throttle back to part time, or call it quits completely.  Hard to project where I'll be in a few years mentally/physically but I look forward to having the option.

OmahaSteph

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #19 on: January 09, 2019, 09:27:32 PM »
So I can give my deadbeat ex the middle finger.

And after that high wears off, I plan to return to writing full time. In a small beach house. While I wear (second-hand) blousy linen clothes and go barefoot.

Four of my novels have been published, two are WIPs, and there are at least a dozen more rolling around in my head. Alas, children and day jobs and side hustles are the priorities right now.

jlcnuke

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2019, 04:51:58 AM »
Because I can't enjoy this kind of lifestyle while working 5+ days/week and living comfortably.

Linea_Norway

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Re: What is your why?
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2019, 05:15:30 AM »
My most enjoyable moments are when I am outside, either cross country skiing, hiking, mushroom picking, camping, paddling. Or any other outdoor activity. I hate spending most days of my life sitting on my butt in a building, while the sun is shining outside. I also hate sitting in an open office plan with constant noise from others. In general, I hate all the BS aspects of work (rules, scrum meetings, deadlines, stupid projects, performance reviews etc).

I recommend the OP to try out different hobbies and see what is interesting and gives a good social network. And maybe it is possible to become a children's trainer for a sport, if you can't do the sport itself as well as before.