One thing that I don't understand, is why I can't put them back to back. Such as use short term disability, then my paid time off time, and then put in for my 12 weeks of FMLA. But that would put me out of my job for a long time. I asked this, and got the non helpful answer, its just not done that way.
FMLA is simply guarantee of time off with job protection, NOT guarantee of pay.
Therefore, it runs CONCURRENTLY with any "paid" leave.
You could google it in your particular state. You will likely find policy info at a university, and those are generally very clear. (I am in CA, and I did not know that until after I gave birth.)
In California, we have:
Pregnancy disability leave (up to 4 weeks before the birth and 6 weeks after)
FMLA
CFRA (California family rights act)
Paid family leave
PDL and PFL are the only ones that come with pay.
FMLA and CFRA cover time off and job guarantees.
So - PDL and FMLA run concurrently
PFL and FMLA run concurrently (one is money, one is time)
CFRA and FMLA run concurrently
CFRA and PDL do NOT run concurrently.
So in the end, in CA, you could have the guaranteed time off of 4 weeks before and 6 weeks after birth (from PDL/ FMLA) and an additional 12 weeks CFRA (with no pay).
I'm not sure if that makes any sense to you or not, but just realize that "paid leave" and FMLA cover 2 different things so they run concurrently.
At my current company, they can require you to use all accumulated vacation pay before collecting paid family leave.