Author Topic: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?  (Read 173993 times)

Gin1984

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #550 on: August 07, 2019, 05:34:21 PM »
This is at an insurance company. They're making some actuaries go Agile. It's utter madness.

My petty reason for seeking FIRE? I believe that insurance is insurance; it's boring, and it's supposed to be boring. Boring is good for insurance! But, no, management wants to make stuff exciting, so they make comparisons to Google and Amazon and freaking DOMINOS in the pursuit of "innovation". You wanna know what kind of "innovation" would be "transformative" in the insurance industry? Predicting exactly how and when climate change is going to destroy everything. Go shift THAT left.

This is ridiculous but, unfortunately, IT envy is spreading. A friend who works in pharmaceuticals says that they are adopting agile too. Mind you drug development happens on the timescale of years!
Can someone explain agile to me? Google is not helping me here.

Chickadee

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #551 on: August 07, 2019, 07:00:38 PM »
I have a new petty reason.....I've been flagged for audit for a travel expense from 6 weeks ago..they want a detailed receipt for a meal that was under the limit where a receipt is required, so of course I don't have one.....but it was a spendy day, so I'm over the undocumented daily limit....don't tell me to review the expense policy when what you're flagging me for isn't in the flippin' expense policy.   I'm hoping this was just some stupid automated email, that once I say I don't have the receipt for the $14 meal, the 'problem' will go away......

I (this is really sad) will make the hotel manager sign a form this year when I travel which I have made that says a double occupancy is same price as single occupancy when I take my husband along because I was denied last year for one king bed two people versus one king bed and one person. Lost out on 1/2 entire annual meeting room stay under premise I could have been splitting with someone who paid.
Not. This. Year. Crazy lady with form coming thru!!!

2sk22

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #552 on: August 08, 2019, 02:27:46 AM »
Can someone explain agile to me? Google is not helping me here.

The Agile movement started about 20 odd years ago in software development. One of the common problems with developing user-facing software is that requirements are not known or are often fully understood. The aim of Agile methodologies was to better deal with these kinds of situations. One technique is to divide development into short bursts in order to get quick feedback from customers.

The theory is that an Agile development methodology is better than the old "waterfall" model in which requirements were first gathered and then software developed and tested (in sequence). It was observed that the waterfall methodology would often result in the development of software that does not serve any purpose.

Agile was supposed to address this problem. In practice, what's happened is that "Agile" become a cargo-cult series of rituals.

For example, one reason I quit a mega-corp last month was that I was forced to participate in a daily scrum (i.e. short meeting) at 9:30am every day. This was supposed to be a quick information exchange but in practice often become a kind of group shaming exercise. I work in AI research and my thought processes are bursty - a couple of weeks can go by when I haven't made any obvious progress and then all of a sudden, I get an idea which clicks. I was beginning to dread having to give a daily progress report.

Monocle Money Mouth

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #553 on: August 08, 2019, 04:13:13 AM »
Can someone explain agile to me? Google is not helping me here.

The Agile movement started about 20 odd years ago in software development. One of the common problems with developing user-facing software is that requirements are not known or are often fully understood. The aim of Agile methodologies was to better deal with these kinds of situations. One technique is to divide development into short bursts in order to get quick feedback from customers.

The theory is that an Agile development methodology is better than the old "waterfall" model in which requirements were first gathered and then software developed and tested (in sequence). It was observed that the waterfall methodology would often result in the development of software that does not serve any purpose.

Agile was supposed to address this problem. In practice, what's happened is that "Agile" become a cargo-cult series of rituals.

For example, one reason I quit a mega-corp last month was that I was forced to participate in a daily scrum (i.e. short meeting) at 9:30am every day. This was supposed to be a quick information exchange but in practice often become a kind of group shaming exercise. I work in AI research and my thought processes are bursty - a couple of weeks can go by when I haven't made any obvious progress and then all of a sudden, I get an idea which clicks. I was beginning to dread having to give a daily progress report.

Agile is bullshit, especially if you need to do deeper thought or have a project that takes longer than your sprint. I don’t mind the daily stand ups, but sometimes you have to get creative with your updates to make it sound like you did something. Some days you can knock out a ton of stories, some days you bang your head against the wall trying every iteration you can think of to get something working.

My beef with agile is all the terminology is meaningless unless you’ve taken an agile class. Scrum master? Release train engineer? Agile coach?  They are completely inscrutable terms unless you have a glossary. Even if you have a glossary, what the people in those positions do still seems kind of unclear.

Plus, they are another layer of people that aren’t directly contributing to software development. They’re not coding, testing, or doing technical support for your customers. It just seems like they are there to make you feel bad because you didn’t do what you planned to do for the sprint because you hit a technical roadblock. Or they give you shit because you messed up some report in Jira because you moved a card to the wrong status.

Zikoris

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #554 on: August 08, 2019, 11:21:54 AM »
I think some people just have a mental block about veg stuff.  They may be open to discussion about it in the moment but any progress made in there understanding will just fade away before the next company catered lunch.   Like I have had people think I need to eat fish at meals when the learn I am pescatarian, no I am actually ok not.  Maybe they think that because they need meat at each meal I need fish at each meal?  But turning down a doughnut.... that is just wrong :-)

Also, seconding the experience of having all the vegan food go first. People turn up their noses at the idea of vegan food, but apparently there's something appealing about it when you just set it out there without a label. Maybe because plants tend to be colorful and pretty.

Back when I traveled for work, the staff making travel arrangements knew to always request a vegetarian meal for me on airplanes (I sooo don't miss traveling for work).  I regularly had to defend my comparatively attractive / fresh airplane food from obnoxious seatmates (mostly other business men I did not know) who demanded they be given what "she's having"

Lol, I may be biased as a nearly lifelong vegan, but damn, my airplane food always looks so much better than the ones around me. There's practically always nice fresh fruit and salads.

AlanStache

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #555 on: August 08, 2019, 03:16:58 PM »
I think some people just have a mental block about veg stuff.  They may be open to discussion about it in the moment but any progress made in there understanding will just fade away before the next company catered lunch.   Like I have had people think I need to eat fish at meals when the learn I am pescatarian, no I am actually ok not.  Maybe they think that because they need meat at each meal I need fish at each meal?  But turning down a doughnut.... that is just wrong :-)

Also, seconding the experience of having all the vegan food go first. People turn up their noses at the idea of vegan food, but apparently there's something appealing about it when you just set it out there without a label. Maybe because plants tend to be colorful and pretty.

Back when I traveled for work, the staff making travel arrangements knew to always request a vegetarian meal for me on airplanes (I sooo don't miss traveling for work).  I regularly had to defend my comparatively attractive / fresh airplane food from obnoxious seatmates (mostly other business men I did not know) who demanded they be given what "she's having"

Lol, I may be biased as a nearly lifelong vegan, but damn, my airplane food always looks so much better than the ones around me. There's practically always nice fresh fruit and salads.

After I'd been there a few years the staff making travel arrangements complained that everyone who flew with me at some point were now also requesting vegetarian meals for exactly that reason.

In Civilization that would be a culture victory.

Imma

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #556 on: August 08, 2019, 03:59:06 PM »
Yeah the veggie options at lunch. We don't often have catered sandwich lunches but when there are visitors we always ask the caterer to throw in 2 veggie sandwiches just in case. That means that all other food usually contains meat. We're not vegetarian or vegan but we eat very little meat. I don't want take anyone's vegetarian food but I also really don't want to eat some disgusting salty sausage either. And why do caterers think a cheese sandwich is the only existing vegetarian sandwich?

couponvan

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #557 on: August 08, 2019, 04:04:56 PM »
I can supervise construction going on next door and be Mrs. Kravitz of the neighborhood....I have turned into my grandma.

Coke lied though with that Diet Coke Break commercial of the 90’s....the worker guys are not at all like the worker guys on TV.

Dicey

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #558 on: August 08, 2019, 05:12:24 PM »
I can supervise construction going on next door and be Mrs. Kravitz of the neighborhood....I have turned into my grandma.

Coke lied though with that Diet Coke Break commercial of the 90’s....the worker guys are not at all like the worker guys on TV.
If that's true, your grandma must have been a hottie!

Zaga

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #559 on: August 09, 2019, 05:00:33 AM »
I'm allergic to milk (and everything derived from milk) and work goes out of their way to make sure catered lunches have something that I'm not allergic to.  It's actually very nice!  Now, that means I usually end up having bbq wings, but I can live with that 3 times a year.
I spoke too soon!  Yesterday was rough, we got free pizza, then cupcakes, twice.  I couldn't eat any of it :-(

Hirondelle

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #560 on: August 09, 2019, 05:05:06 AM »
I think some people just have a mental block about veg stuff.  They may be open to discussion about it in the moment but any progress made in there understanding will just fade away before the next company catered lunch.   Like I have had people think I need to eat fish at meals when the learn I am pescatarian, no I am actually ok not.  Maybe they think that because they need meat at each meal I need fish at each meal?  But turning down a doughnut.... that is just wrong :-)

Also, seconding the experience of having all the vegan food go first. People turn up their noses at the idea of vegan food, but apparently there's something appealing about it when you just set it out there without a label. Maybe because plants tend to be colorful and pretty.

Back when I traveled for work, the staff making travel arrangements knew to always request a vegetarian meal for me on airplanes (I sooo don't miss traveling for work).  I regularly had to defend my comparatively attractive / fresh airplane food from obnoxious seatmates (mostly other business men I did not know) who demanded they be given what "she's having"

Lol, I may be biased as a nearly lifelong vegan, but damn, my airplane food always looks so much better than the ones around me. There's practically always nice fresh fruit and salads.

After I'd been there a few years the staff making travel arrangements complained that everyone who flew with me at some point were now also requesting vegetarian meals for exactly that reason.

I actually do this. Whenever I go to some catered event or travel arrangement and can let them know about restrictions, I request vegetarian food (not a real veg, but I don't cook/buy meat for myself). I consider myself some sorta 'fake vegetarian'.

Tris Prior

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #561 on: August 09, 2019, 08:57:31 AM »


Lol, I may be biased as a nearly lifelong vegan, but damn, my airplane food always looks so much better than the ones around me. There's practically always nice fresh fruit and salads.

Snort, I had the worst ever chana masala on a flight to London last year. I have no idea what the hell they did to it. It was absolutely horrid. Dry, salty, kind of.... crunchy? Ew. That being said, Boyfriend's chicken didn't look that great either.

We have the problem in our office where the non-veg people eat the veg food and then there's nothing for me. Last time my co-worker actually gave me her cheese pizza because she felt so bad for me.

Mrbeardedbigbucks

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #562 on: August 10, 2019, 06:10:56 AM »
My most petty reason for FIRE:

So I never have to hear someone say "Living the dream" again.

Me: "It's good to see you. How have you been?"
Johnny Office: "you know, living the dream, how about you?"
Me: I walk back to my cubicle and stick hot forks in my ears and eyeballs so I never have to hear or see that person again

Dicey

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #563 on: August 10, 2019, 11:14:21 AM »
My most petty reason for FIRE:

So I never have to hear someone say "Living the dream" again.

Me: "It's good to see you. How have you been?"
Johnny Office: "you know, living the dream, how about you?"
Me: I walk back to my cubicle and stick hot forks in my ears and eyeballs so I never have to hear or see that person again
But wait, I am living the dream, six years post-FIRE.  I guess maybe it's different when you really are? OTOH, I think I'd just respond with what I'm actually doing and not a platitude, so there's that.

Prairie Gal

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #564 on: August 10, 2019, 12:44:19 PM »
My most petty reason for FIRE:

So I never have to hear someone say "Living the dream" again.

Me: "It's good to see you. How have you been?"
Johnny Office: "you know, living the dream, how about you?"
Me: I walk back to my cubicle and stick hot forks in my ears and eyeballs so I never have to hear or see that person again

OMG! Yes! I have two co-workers that constantly use that line.

Live Free

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #565 on: August 10, 2019, 03:55:39 PM »
So I never have to hear anyone say they're gonna "shoot you an email" ever again. Other honorable mentions: "touch base," roadmap, "on my radar," "ping," etc.

Do you happen to work as a federal contract specialist? We obsess over all of the phrases in my office, especially 'the road-map'.

fuzzy math

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #566 on: August 11, 2019, 08:34:35 PM »

Hate having to be anywhere by a certain time. Ever. I even resent movie theaters for making me be somewhere by a certain time


I totally feel this way too

Linea_Norway

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #567 on: August 12, 2019, 06:56:03 AM »
Because this is my first day back in the office and I get washed over by work stress already.

I heard one of my co-workers day that she had been back from work for a week, but it felt already like her vacation was 6 months ago.

Imma

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #568 on: August 12, 2019, 09:19:00 AM »
Because this is my first day back in the office and I get washed over by work stress already.

I heard one of my co-workers day that she had been back from work for a week, but it felt already like her vacation was 6 months ago.

I know the feeling, tomorrow is my first day after 3 weeks :(

And I don't even dislike my workplace, I just dislike working in general. I haven't had a vacation this long for years, and we've only been away 1 week, the other 2 weeks were just relaxing at home, doing stuff at my own pace, or doing nothing when I didn't feel like doing anything. I did a little chore every day, worked in the garden most days. I wouldn't mind another month off. I think my first 6 months of FIRE would just be hanging out at home doing exactly this.

The first years I worked I would have an exciting back-to-school feeling after a holiday (I've always loved back-to-school, I was a geeky kid) but after a decade of working that feeling is completely gone.

sailingTowardsFI

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #569 on: August 12, 2019, 06:47:53 PM »
The office lingo is up there for sure...  my recent pet peeve "footstomp" as in "just to footstomp that point".  And also "circle back", "shooting emails", "multiple hats", "too much on my plate", "socialize this idea with the team", "out of pocket",  etc, etc. 

bluebelle

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #570 on: August 14, 2019, 02:27:27 PM »
I opened an 'urgent' helpdesk ticket 48 hours ago......company email isn't working on the laptop......only response (via email) was 27 hours ago asking what time was good for a call and asking for my phone number (in the incident)....responded quickly, giving them a time and number.......nothing.

petty reason - not having to deal with the IT help(less) desk

Dicey

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #571 on: August 14, 2019, 07:42:04 PM »
I opened an 'urgent' helpdesk ticket 48 hours ago......company email isn't working on the laptop......only response (via email) was 27 hours ago asking what time was good for a call and asking for my phone number (in the incident)....responded quickly, giving them a time and number.......nothing.

petty reason - not having to deal with the IT help(less) desk
They think the same of you, if that's any comfort.

rantk81

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #572 on: August 15, 2019, 08:52:15 AM »
This one probably sounds petty, but as the days go by, I consider this to be less and less petty.

Someone was hired in the last year that has a habit of doing one loud cough. Frequently.  Like about 1 per minute, or more often.  It is extremely loud.  The best I could describe it as the loud sound that the old pinball machines would make when you get an extra ball.  This person sits several cubicles away from me.  But I hear it all day long.  It is absolutely driving me nuts.  I can't put on headphones/earbuds because I need to be available for folks to talk with me throughout the day about various things.  THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.  It must be so much worse for those who sit closer to this person.

Uugh.



Dicey

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #573 on: August 15, 2019, 09:08:11 AM »
This one probably sounds petty, but as the days go by, I consider this to be less and less petty.

Someone was hired in the last year that has a habit of doing one loud cough. Frequently.  Like about 1 per minute, or more often.  It is extremely loud.  The best I could describe it as the loud sound that the old pinball machines would make when you get an extra ball.  This person sits several cubicles away from me.  But I hear it all day long.  It is absolutely driving me nuts.  I can't put on headphones/earbuds because I need to be available for folks to talk with me throughout the day about various things.  THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.  It must be so much worse for those who sit closer to this person.

Uugh.
I might consult HR on this one.

I have two yappy dogs that will bark for no fucking reason. I absolutely hate being randomly startled. I love the man that came with the dogs, but I won't miss the barking when they're gone. I would lose my mind in your situation. Maybe try recording it?

PhrugalPhan

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #574 on: August 15, 2019, 10:02:17 AM »
So I never have to hear anyone say they're gonna "shoot you an email" ever again. Other honorable mentions: "touch base," roadmap, "on my radar," "ping," etc.

Do you happen to work as a federal contract specialist? We obsess over all of the phrases in my office, especially 'the road-map'.
OMG.... "the road map" has been a thing in my office too for the past two years.  And we have at least another three years of this project.  Kill me now...

LennStar

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #575 on: August 15, 2019, 12:24:40 PM »
This one probably sounds petty, but as the days go by, I consider this to be less and less petty.

Someone was hired in the last year that has a habit of doing one loud cough. Frequently.  Like about 1 per minute, or more often.  It is extremely loud.  The best I could describe it as the loud sound that the old pinball machines would make when you get an extra ball.  This person sits several cubicles away from me.  But I hear it all day long.  It is absolutely driving me nuts.  I can't put on headphones/earbuds because I need to be available for folks to talk with me throughout the day about various things.  THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.  It must be so much worse for those who sit closer to this person.

Uugh.

The standard therapy would be to make him manager so he sits in a single person office.

Bogart99

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #576 on: August 15, 2019, 12:44:33 PM »
I have the same complaint. We have one person who coughs and clears their throat non-stop all day. This has been going on for 20 straight months. I end up having to put in ear buds which leads to my ears hurting and headaches. Every day just motivates more and more to save as much as I can and get out.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2019, 07:41:10 AM by Bogart99 »

Aegishjalmur

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #577 on: August 15, 2019, 02:35:07 PM »
I have the same complaint. We have one person who coughs and clears their throat non-stop all day. This has been going on for 20 straight months. I end having to put in ear buds which leads to my ears hurting and headaches. Every day just motivates more and more to save as much as I can and get out.

We had a guy in the office who we referred to as the 'Office Ninja' because when he would sneeze, it would sound like the 'Hi-yah!' that you hear in martial arts films, only he would do it several times in a row and it was loud enough that you could hear clearly down at the other end of the floor(300+ ft), and during spring and fall, it would be multiple times a day. I am just glad I didn't sit near him because it would startle the hell out of me to hear someone do that that close to me.....

Omy

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #578 on: August 15, 2019, 04:19:24 PM »
At a previous job, my office mate (who was older and not well) would often fall asleep in his chair. His snoring drove me crazy and was so loud that people walking by could hear it.

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #579 on: August 16, 2019, 10:33:52 AM »
I have the same complaint. We have one person who coughs and clears their throat non-stop all day. This has been going on for 20 straight months. I end having to put in ear buds which leads to my ears hurting and headaches. Every day just motivates more and more to save as much as I can and get out.

We had a guy in the office who we referred to as the 'Office Ninja' because when he would sneeze, it would sound like the 'Hi-yah!' that you hear in martial arts films, only he would do it several times in a row and it was loud enough that you could hear clearly down at the other end of the floor(300+ ft), and during spring and fall, it would be multiple times a day. I am just glad I didn't sit near him because it would startle the hell out of me to hear someone do that that close to me.....

Had a coworker who ninja-sneezed. One time I said to him, 'you know it is possible to sneeze without using your vocal chords. It's a conscious choice.' And he said, 'maybe for YOU,' and smirked. He made a point of being noisy - slapping the desk, etc - because he wanted attention all the time. This was in an environment that is meant to be quiet because we're seeing clients.

Kazyan

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #580 on: August 16, 2019, 11:18:17 AM »
My coworker is a good guy, but the way he clears his throat can be picked up on a seismometer.

Missy B

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #581 on: August 18, 2019, 11:21:22 PM »
Thought of a good reason today! Because I don't want to have to wear a bra during the week :)

Linea_Norway

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #582 on: August 19, 2019, 04:59:43 AM »
I don't want to have to share a toilet with people who don't use the brush after their number two visit. (I know it is not normal operating procedure in the US to use the brush, but in Europe it is.)

Anette

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #583 on: August 19, 2019, 01:16:59 PM »
Good one Linea, fellow European here

rantk81

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #584 on: August 19, 2019, 01:20:23 PM »
I don't want to have to share a toilet with people who don't use the brush after their number two visit. (I know it is not normal operating procedure in the US to use the brush, but in Europe it is.)

Most public restrooms don't even have toilet brushes visible or in plain view.  Maybe the toilet at your location has the "water savings" set a bit too aggressive?
« Last Edit: August 19, 2019, 03:48:21 PM by rantk81 »

markbike528CBX

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #585 on: August 19, 2019, 02:20:57 PM »
I don't want to have to share a toilet with people who don't use the brush after their number two visit. (I know it is not normal operating procedure in the US to use the brush, but in Europe it is.)

Ding ding, winner! 
  A) It is restricted culturally, therefore others not of that culture might see it as petty.
  B) Anything to do with a number two visit is automatically funny in most cultures and so does include most everybody.

Warlord1986

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #586 on: September 01, 2019, 07:11:02 PM »
Thought of a good reason today! Because I don't want to have to wear a bra during the week :)

That is an excellent reason.

dougules

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #587 on: September 09, 2019, 11:02:12 AM »
My most petty reason for FIRE:

So I never have to hear someone say "Living the dream" again.

Me: "It's good to see you. How have you been?"
Johnny Office: "you know, living the dream, how about you?"
Me: I walk back to my cubicle and stick hot forks in my ears and eyeballs so I never have to hear or see that person again

You should reply like I do sometimes with "Nightmares are dreams, too."

fattest_foot

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #588 on: September 09, 2019, 04:10:12 PM »
Agile is bullshit, especially if you need to do deeper thought or have a project that takes longer than your sprint. I don’t mind the daily stand ups, but sometimes you have to get creative with your updates to make it sound like you did something. Some days you can knock out a ton of stories, some days you bang your head against the wall trying every iteration you can think of to get something working.

My beef with agile is all the terminology is meaningless unless you’ve taken an agile class. Scrum master? Release train engineer? Agile coach?  They are completely inscrutable terms unless you have a glossary. Even if you have a glossary, what the people in those positions do still seems kind of unclear.

Plus, they are another layer of people that aren’t directly contributing to software development. They’re not coding, testing, or doing technical support for your customers. It just seems like they are there to make you feel bad because you didn’t do what you planned to do for the sprint because you hit a technical roadblock. Or they give you shit because you messed up some report in Jira because you moved a card to the wrong status.

It made sense to me when I did an Agile class and they talked about the different "flavors" of Agile. And by flavor, I mean companies that are trying to sell Agile as a product. To differentiate themselves, they came up with different terminology. Instead of a project, it's "stories" or "epics" etc. A manager is "scrum master" or "product owner." Scrum Alliance has different terminology than Scaled Agile who has different terminology than the International Consortium for Agile.

When I looked at it as a product being sold, it made me dislike the concept even more. They only invented new words for things to confuse people and try to sell them a new "process." And that's BS to me. They all have their own certification structure, and none of them work well as a process together.

Which to me means the entire thing is a waste of time. A process doesn't need a company behind it selling you on it. It should stand on its own. Agile is just the newest buzzword in the string of leans and kanbans (which it heavily borrows from).

Do you happen to work as a federal contract specialist? We obsess over all of the phrases in my office, especially 'the road-map'.

Used to be a contract specialist here. My work now is similar, but more on the program management side (we do a lot of the pre-award documentation, and we're all CORs). Contracts is such a horrendous career field. It may have just been our contracts office, but I feel bad for anyone stuck in it.

Linea_Norway

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #589 on: September 09, 2019, 11:28:00 PM »
Agile is bullshit, especially if you need to do deeper thought or have a project that takes longer than your sprint. I don’t mind the daily stand ups, but sometimes you have to get creative with your updates to make it sound like you did something. Some days you can knock out a ton of stories, some days you bang your head against the wall trying every iteration you can think of to get something working.

My beef with agile is all the terminology is meaningless unless you’ve taken an agile class. Scrum master? Release train engineer? Agile coach?  They are completely inscrutable terms unless you have a glossary. Even if you have a glossary, what the people in those positions do still seems kind of unclear.

Plus, they are another layer of people that aren’t directly contributing to software development. They’re not coding, testing, or doing technical support for your customers. It just seems like they are there to make you feel bad because you didn’t do what you planned to do for the sprint because you hit a technical roadblock. Or they give you shit because you messed up some report in Jira because you moved a card to the wrong status.

It made sense to me when I did an Agile class and they talked about the different "flavors" of Agile. And by flavor, I mean companies that are trying to sell Agile as a product. To differentiate themselves, they came up with different terminology. Instead of a project, it's "stories" or "epics" etc. A manager is "scrum master" or "product owner." Scrum Alliance has different terminology than Scaled Agile who has different terminology than the International Consortium for Agile.

When I looked at it as a product being sold, it made me dislike the concept even more. They only invented new words for things to confuse people and try to sell them a new "process." And that's BS to me. They all have their own certification structure, and none of them work well as a process together.

Which to me means the entire thing is a waste of time. A process doesn't need a company behind it selling you on it. It should stand on its own. Agile is just the newest buzzword in the string of leans and kanbans (which it heavily borrows from).

Do you happen to work as a federal contract specialist? We obsess over all of the phrases in my office, especially 'the road-map'.

Used to be a contract specialist here. My work now is similar, but more on the program management side (we do a lot of the pre-award documentation, and we're all CORs). Contracts is such a horrendous career field. It may have just been our contracts office, but I feel bad for anyone stuck in it.

I work with the scrum-nomsense as well. As least, the last 1,5 year or so, we don't have an external scrum master, but just one of the team members. That's a little better. My job is so that there is a lot to do and I just do it, I organize things, check things, test things, write things, report things, maintain a tool, etc. I really don't feel the need to put every thing I do in tasks on the scrum board, which is just more overhead. I totally hate those daily meetings. As well as the very long planning meetings.

Still 66 scrum meetings to go until FIRE... :-)

An Unassuming Moose

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #590 on: September 11, 2019, 09:35:25 PM »
I want to play Ultimate Frisbee two evenings a week rather than one. Don't know if it counts as petty, but I play with coworkers and it's turned into a bit of a joke.
Working in the construction industry, we have to work evenings fairly frequently in the summer, so I can't commit to more than one evening a week. But one day, I'll retire so I can play more Frisbee...

Linea_Norway

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #591 on: September 12, 2019, 07:57:29 AM »
During FIRE I hope I never again have to sit in meetings that take 15-20 to get started, with the person operating the computer that is on display, being the slowest to do anything on it.

Of course, as a FIREe you can still end up going to board meetings, HOA kind of meetings, club meetings, etc. I should try to be reluctant to sign up for those, for my own sanity.

LennStar

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #592 on: September 12, 2019, 02:47:06 PM »
During FIRE I hope I never again have to sit in meetings that take 15-20 to get started, with the person operating the computer that is on display, being the slowest to do anything on it.

Of course, as a FIREe you can still end up going to board meetings, HOA kind of meetings, club meetings, etc. I should try to be reluctant to sign up for those, for my own sanity.

The difference is you can just walk out for those 15 minutes and make a few fitness moves ;)

FamilyGuy

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #593 on: September 12, 2019, 08:20:32 PM »
Peace of mind. Freedom from compelled  to work. Travel. Watch TV whenever I want to. Visiting parents whenever I want to. Driving the town in Wednesday afternoon is a dream for me.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #594 on: September 13, 2019, 07:17:13 AM »
Peace of mind. Freedom from compelled  to work. Travel. Watch TV whenever I want to. Visiting parents whenever I want to. Driving the town in Wednesday afternoon is a dream for me.
Hey now, some of those are very much *not* petty at all!  Although I *do* appreciate driving empty streets and visiting empty stores during the day :)

Nick_Miller

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #595 on: September 13, 2019, 08:14:15 AM »
Driving the town in Wednesday afternoon is a dream for me.

In my fantasies, I only drive from 10 am to 2 pm on weekdays, and no trip is longer than 10 miles. I eat lunch at 11, and dinner at 4 to avoid the rush. And I become a grumpy old man before age 50. Wait...I don't think my wife signed for this.

Philociraptor

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #596 on: September 13, 2019, 12:44:54 PM »
Driving the town in Wednesday afternoon is a dream for me.

In my fantasies, I only drive from 10 am to 2 pm on weekdays, and no trip is longer than 10 miles. I eat lunch at 11, and dinner at 4 to avoid the rush. And I become a grumpy old man before age 50. Wait...I don't think my wife signed for this.

To be fair I'm a grumpy old man at age 30, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FamilyGuy

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #597 on: September 13, 2019, 04:27:38 PM »
Peace of mind. Freedom from compelled  to work. Travel. Watch TV whenever I want to. Visiting parents whenever I want to. Driving the town in Wednesday afternoon is a dream for me.
Hey now, some of those are very much *not* petty at all!  Although I *do* appreciate driving empty streets and visiting empty stores during the day :)
Yeah true, some are not petty reasons. I guess I put in all reasons from most important ones to petty little ones.

Linea_Norway

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #598 on: September 15, 2019, 01:57:02 AM »
I want to be able to decide each day whether I want to go out or not, regardsless of the weather. And not regardless of whether it is weekend or a working day.

And I want to be able to sleep like this morning. For some not understandable readon my alarm clock went off at 6:30 am on a Sunday. I turned it off and slept again until 8. If I could ever sleep to a natural time every day, that would be so great.

TomTX

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Re: What is your most petty reason for seeking FIRE?
« Reply #599 on: September 15, 2019, 01:56:17 PM »
Workplace bathrooms.
That's one of the things I'll miss!  "Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime..."

Shouldn't that be "Boss makes a dollar, I drop a deuce..." ;)