FAMILY
I'd love to have millions to share with them, so they can eat down all of that nonsense they've said/thought of us, and feel it pass through like hot-sauce-diarrhea. Perhaps they'd have to take FPU in exchange for $10,000 (enough to go, but not enough to change their lives without working the plan). Maybe we'd add $5,000 to all of their kids' 529 plans (one of them got college money earmarked for my kid, but, hey, I'm not bitter about it). Perhaps I'd just pay off their debts so they can see that they suck, especially when they rack it all up again.
ORGS
Things like the local "business of the year" are a scam. You pay money and then get it. I'd create a fake business and apply, complete with advertising in the paper, or on the TV, and then expose them for the crooks they are.