Many years ago, in the BBS days, I created a username. More appropriately, I created an identity. The interests and activities of this identity were in line with mine, but shrouded behind a screen of anonymity and mystery. Appearing out of the ether, I would appear, drop words of wisdom, solve problems, destroy illusions, correct grammar, and fade away.
At some point, this identity and my public facing identity started to diverge. As I matured, and began creating a philosophy of life, I knew I had things to offer. However, the newer things I had to offer were not in line with my secret identity. I decided I needed another one. One that could accurately portray what I'm like IRL, one that wasn't weighed down with the questionable ethics and decisions of the past. But what could it possibly be?
How did I come up with the name jordanread?
I was on an archaeological dig in what used to be Constantinople, searching for a key to the past, the answer to a question I hadn't even thought to ask. I was there for about a week when I found something. I didn't even know the significance of it at the time, but I suspect it was considered holy by the local population. Soon after I found it, the natives got restless. Descending on the site like locusts on a crop, brandishing their weapons, many of my team were killed. I narrowly escaped with my life, and hid the item to protect it. After wandering aimlessly for days, dehydrated and hungry, I was taken in by a family, who nursed my broken body back to health. After working off my debt to them, I set out to recover the object.
Once I returned to my lab, I realized that it was some type of clay protecting an ancient document. I set to work on translating it. To this day, there are still small pieces that I don't understand, as it's most likely a dead language. However, at the top, was a name. Jordan Read: loosely translated, it meant Book of Rivers. I adopted this identity as my own. And that is where my name came from.
However, in the interests of Full Disclosure, the dig in Constantinople was actually a closet in my house, and I was organizing it. The item I found was a document in an envelope, and the natives that ran me out were the personification of procrastination. The family was my friends, who kept me out very late that night. The translation was mostly easy, because it was in English. The name at the top was my name, because it was my birth certificate. The question I hadn't thought to ask was "What e-mail address would be appropriate to put on a resume?". The untranslated part of the document was the doctor's writing.
So...yeah. It's my real name. :)