I must have missed this the first go around (or not have been a member). Regarding ask your parents why the inheritance is not equal. Might be a good idea but I'm not so sure if people will like the answer. My guess- not being a part of your parents lives could be a big reason why you might get less of an inheritance. I personally don't understand why someone who actually states in their OP that visiting their parents takes away from things they really want to do would be surprised that their inheritance is less. If that is the reason would it be an "approved" reason to the younger generation. I don't think people understand how older people feel when their children act like its too much trouble to bother calling or visiting. Why should they reward such behavior. I often think that I am going to keep track of how many phone calls and visits I get and "pay" my kids via their inheritance accordingly. They will get an itemized receipt of x visits at $1000 a visit and x phone calls at $50 a phone call and fixing my toilet at a going rate. You'll get a receipt and it will say what you did and that because of it your inheritance is x amount of money. Does anyone think that would fly as a reason for giving an unequal inheritance?
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Wow. Wow. Sure, people can choose whatever rationale they want for distributing their money, but this would definitely be one that I'd have a hard time respecting, whether I was involved or not.
While I can see cutting out an adult child who made no effort to nurture the relationship and treated a parent like a burden, turning familiar relationships into something transactional seems distasteful, to say the least.
Also, there are plenty of reasons people might call or visit less. I've lived overseas for nearly 10 years. While I definitely visited my parents fairly often, it was clearly expensive to do to, and I didn't see them nearly as much as I did when I lived a 5 hour drive away. If they "billed" me for that in comparison to my sister who lived a 4 hour drive away, I'd be extremely hurt. Or perhaps one child has several young children and the associated busy schedule, and the other has none. Or any number of reasons why someone might visit more/less. If another person choose to penalize them financially for that, I'd think a whole lot less of that person. And if it was my parent, proclaiming that attention is bought with love? I'd not only lose respect for them, but I'm guessing I'd be less likely to visit, not more.
I'm so put off by this that I'm honestly going back and forth with whether maybe your post was satirical, and hoping it was and I missed the "joke".