Author Topic: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?  (Read 18453 times)

Nudelkopf

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #200 on: March 04, 2017, 07:24:58 PM »
My parents have tried very hard to keep things equal between me & my two brothers. My eldest bro had some issues paying his mortgage for a bit, so my parents helped out while he got back on his feet. About 6 months later Mum told me about it & gave me & the other brother some money equal to what they'd given to eldest broter ($4000-ish). Totally wouldn't have mattered to me but it's nice to know they're thinking about it. My parents' wills are also split equally 1/3 to the 3 kids.

dandarc

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #201 on: March 07, 2017, 09:46:40 AM »
Heard a story on Click and Clack the Tappit Brothers today.
Rich uncle Nef left his car collection to his three nephews.
Nef had 17 cars, he left 1/2 to Tom, 1/3 to Bill and 1/9 to Neezer.
The lawyer figured out 8-1/2 cars to Tom, 5-2/3 cars to Bill and 1-7/8
cars to Neezer. They were arguing about splitting the cars, when the
neighbor Willie stepped in and said, "listen, I'll loan you my 56' Pontiac
and that will solve your problem". They were surprised but went with it.
Tom got 1/2 of 18 cars, 9 cars, Bill got 1/3 of 18 cars, 6 cars, and
Neezer got 1/9 of 18 cars or 2 cars.  9+6+2=17
and Willie got his 56' Pontiac back.

 Well, it is an unequal inheritance!
So whoever wrote the will wrote the "6" in "1/6 to Neezer" upside down then?
Link to my journal, so I can find it quickly - http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/dandarc's-journal/

BTDretire

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #202 on: March 16, 2017, 07:25:23 PM »
Heard a story on Click and Clack the Tappit Brothers today.
Rich uncle Nef left his car collection to his three nephews.
Nef had 17 cars, he left 1/2 to Tom, 1/3 to Bill and 1/9 to Neezer.
The lawyer figured out 8-1/2 cars to Tom, 5-2/3 cars to Bill and 1-7/8
cars to Neezer. They were arguing about splitting the cars, when the
neighbor Willie stepped in and said, "listen, I'll loan you my 56' Pontiac
and that will solve your problem". They were surprised but went with it.
Tom got 1/2 of 18 cars, 9 cars, Bill got 1/3 of 18 cars, 6 cars, and
Neezer got 1/9 of 18 cars or 2 cars.  9+6+2=17
and Willie got his 56' Pontiac back.

 Well, it is an unequal inheritance!
So whoever wrote the will wrote the "6" in "1/6 to Neezer" upside down then?
Good catch, I hadn't thought of that, but ya, the catch is that Uncle Nef didn't divide
it to equal 100%.

nara

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #203 on: March 20, 2017, 10:18:46 AM »
Don't expect or rely on inheritances! My husband's side has and will give us substantially less than his siblings because we have chosen not to have children. On my side, my parents had already indicated that the majority of their inheritance will be left to my brother with a developmental disability. It has taught us to become self reliant and anything we do get is a bonus! I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't. I have seen so many acquaintances blow very large inheritances! They just never learned money skills and never had reason to...

BlueHouse

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #204 on: March 20, 2017, 10:47:13 AM »
I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't.
Ha!  I'll take this disadvantage any day of the week.  I think I know what you meant, nara, but starting with a pile of money isn't my idea of a disadvantage.  Just try to make sure that the receiver gets some education on how to manage that pile of money!  :)
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

Villanelle

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #205 on: March 20, 2017, 10:14:27 PM »
Don't expect or rely on inheritances! My husband's side has and will give us substantially less than his siblings because we have chosen not to have children. On my side, my parents had already indicated that the majority of their inheritance will be left to my brother with a developmental disability. It has taught us to become self reliant and anything we do get is a bonus! I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't. I have seen so many acquaintances blow very large inheritances! They just never learned money skills and never had reason to...

I believe those receiving inheritances *who are not financially responsible* may be at a disadvantage.

Your statement is a bit like saying that winning $1m on a lottery ticket (gifted to you) is a disadvantage, because there are so many horror stories of lottery winners blowing through it all and going bankrupt.  Just because some people piss it away doesn't mean it wouldn't be a huge advantage. I suspect most of the people on this board, for example, would take that $1m--whether it's an inheritance or a lottery win or a legal settlement or unearthing a buried treasure chest in their yard--and turn it in to a huge advantage.

Dicey

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #206 on: March 20, 2017, 10:21:35 PM »
Wow, two great stories in a row and a real-life math word problem to boot!
I did it! I have a journal!
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/a-lot-like-this/
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

Goldielocks

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #207 on: March 20, 2017, 10:44:50 PM »
Don't expect or rely on inheritances! My husband's side has and will give us substantially less than his siblings because we have chosen not to have children. On my side, my parents had already indicated that the majority of their inheritance will be left to my brother with a developmental disability. It has taught us to become self reliant and anything we do get is a bonus! I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't. I have seen so many acquaintances blow very large inheritances! They just never learned money skills and never had reason to...

I believe those receiving inheritances *who are not financially responsible* may be at a disadvantage.

Your statement is a bit like saying that winning $1m on a lottery ticket (gifted to you) is a disadvantage, because there are so many horror stories of lottery winners blowing through it all and going bankrupt.  Just because some people piss it away doesn't mean it wouldn't be a huge advantage. I suspect most of the people on this board, for example, would take that $1m--whether it's an inheritance or a lottery win or a legal settlement or unearthing a buried treasure chest in their yard--and turn it in to a huge advantage.
Or the thought was that learning how to be self-sufficient is one of the greatest skills one can have, leading to life joys.   Getting a large inheritance can impede that...

NorthernBlitz

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #208 on: March 21, 2017, 04:26:17 AM »
Don't expect or rely on inheritances! My husband's side has and will give us substantially less than his siblings because we have chosen not to have children. On my side, my parents had already indicated that the majority of their inheritance will be left to my brother with a developmental disability. It has taught us to become self reliant and anything we do get is a bonus! I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't. I have seen so many acquaintances blow very large inheritances! They just never learned money skills and never had reason to...

I believe those receiving inheritances *who are not financially responsible* may be at a disadvantage.

Your statement is a bit like saying that winning $1m on a lottery ticket (gifted to you) is a disadvantage, because there are so many horror stories of lottery winners blowing through it all and going bankrupt.  Just because some people piss it away doesn't mean it wouldn't be a huge advantage. I suspect most of the people on this board, for example, would take that $1m--whether it's an inheritance or a lottery win or a legal settlement or unearthing a buried treasure chest in their yard--and turn it in to a huge advantage.

There's at lest one woman in the UK who agrees the winning the lottery put her at a disadvantage.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/02/12/britains-youngest-euromillions-winner-wants-to-sue-lotto-for-ruining-her-life-6442874/

Dezrah

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #209 on: March 21, 2017, 06:04:02 AM »
Just because you win the lottery or get an inheritance doesn't mean you're a capable person.  Without the money, you can blame the system for your failures.  You might even be right.  If you have the money, you only have yourself to blame for your mediocrity.  That could be a pretty depressing situation.

BlueHouse

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #210 on: March 21, 2017, 09:41:53 AM »
Don't expect or rely on inheritances! My husband's side has and will give us substantially less than his siblings because we have chosen not to have children. On my side, my parents had already indicated that the majority of their inheritance will be left to my brother with a developmental disability. It has taught us to become self reliant and anything we do get is a bonus! I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't. I have seen so many acquaintances blow very large inheritances! They just never learned money skills and never had reason to...

I believe those receiving inheritances *who are not financially responsible* may be at a disadvantage.

Your statement is a bit like saying that winning $1m on a lottery ticket (gifted to you) is a disadvantage, because there are so many horror stories of lottery winners blowing through it all and going bankrupt.  Just because some people piss it away doesn't mean it wouldn't be a huge advantage. I suspect most of the people on this board, for example, would take that $1m--whether it's an inheritance or a lottery win or a legal settlement or unearthing a buried treasure chest in their yard--and turn it in to a huge advantage.
Or the thought was that learning how to be self-sufficient is one of the greatest skills one can have, leading to life joys.   Getting a large inheritance can impede that...
One thing I've noticed about myself...when I'm generally happy and pleased with my progress in life, I do not buy lottery.  I feel like I can do it on my own and my hard work will be rewarded.  But when I'm having a particularly shitty time at work and I just want out as soon as possible, I go and spend a few bucks on lottery and daydream of hitting the big one.  It's just the opposite of what should happen -- only playing when I can afford to and refraining when extra money in my pocket would help me meet my goals faster.  But that's how my brain works.  Anyone else follow the same patterns?
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

Warlord1986

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #211 on: March 21, 2017, 10:02:35 AM »
Don't expect or rely on inheritances! My husband's side has and will give us substantially less than his siblings because we have chosen not to have children. On my side, my parents had already indicated that the majority of their inheritance will be left to my brother with a developmental disability. It has taught us to become self reliant and anything we do get is a bonus! I do believe that those receiving inheritances are at a large disadvantage to those who don't. I have seen so many acquaintances blow very large inheritances! They just never learned money skills and never had reason to...

I believe those receiving inheritances *who are not financially responsible* may be at a disadvantage.

Your statement is a bit like saying that winning $1m on a lottery ticket (gifted to you) is a disadvantage, because there are so many horror stories of lottery winners blowing through it all and going bankrupt.  Just because some people piss it away doesn't mean it wouldn't be a huge advantage. I suspect most of the people on this board, for example, would take that $1m--whether it's an inheritance or a lottery win or a legal settlement or unearthing a buried treasure chest in their yard--and turn it in to a huge advantage.
Or the thought was that learning how to be self-sufficient is one of the greatest skills one can have, leading to life joys.   Getting a large inheritance can impede that...
One thing I've noticed about myself...when I'm generally happy and pleased with my progress in life, I do not buy lottery.  I feel like I can do it on my own and my hard work will be rewarded.  But when I'm having a particularly shitty time at work and I just want out as soon as possible, I go and spend a few bucks on lottery and daydream of hitting the big one.  It's just the opposite of what should happen -- only playing when I can afford to and refraining when extra money in my pocket would help me meet my goals faster.  But that's how my brain works.  Anyone else follow the same patterns?

I follow a similar pattern. When life is hitting me with slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I shop and eat out more. Not to a point where I'm in financial trouble, but more than I would like. When things are good, I plan and save like a beast.

My guess is when things are going poorly, our brains want a little jolt of happy juice that comes from purchases, even if those purchases are dumb. The trick is to realize this and combat it with the power of financial logic. Which is easier said than done.

VoteCthulu

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #212 on: March 21, 2017, 10:48:29 AM »
I would do nothing.

I don't need the money, and neither do my siblings, so an inheritance wouldn't make a huge difference to us. I've told my parents that they should enjoy the money they've worked so hard for, and if they decide to give it all to charity that's fine with me.

Now if they simply wrote me out of the will and gave everything to my siblings I would feel bad about it and probably resent them for a while. I'd get over it though, especially if I was retired and they were still working.

I also don't expect my parents to die anytime soon, since two of my grandparents are still living (93 and 98). It would be awesome if they both made it until I retired so I could go visit them more.

Miss Prim

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #213 on: March 21, 2017, 11:59:29 AM »
As far as I know, my mother will leave equal inheritances to myself and my two brothers.  That is if she doesn't spend it all first!  She is a spender and I have cautioned her for years to make sure she has enough to get into a nursing home for at least 6 months on patient pay before Medicaid kicks in so she can be in a good nursing home!

When my grandmother was widowed, we all moved in with her and my mother "took care" of her in her mind!  Actually, my grandmother did most of the cooking and half of the housework and this allowed my mother to go back to work when my youngest brother was in 1st grade.  My dad hated my grandmother and vice versa, so it made for some dysfunctional home life! 

I think my mother thinks I should take care of her if she gets feeble, but I don't feel like my kids should have to take care of me, I want them to live their lives and have fun.  I do take her on vacation with me and she is going to spend 3 months with us next year in Florida for the winter.  But, I draw the line if she needs a lot of care.  My mother-in-law spent 10 years going from independent living to assisted to memory care and then nursing home care and never lived with any of her kids.  That is my goal for myself also. 

Anyway, I digress.  I am better off financially than either of my brothers as far as savings go as they were spenders also.  So if my mother decided to leave me out and leave everything to my brothers, I would not mind one bit.  As a matter of fact, I am thinking about donating my 1/3 to them as I don't really need it.  I know my mother wants to be fair, but seriously, I wouldn't mind and I wouldn't hold it against my brothers either or think my mom loves me less than my brothers.  She just knows all of our circumstances.

                                                      Miss Prim

Rosy

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #214 on: March 21, 2017, 12:31:40 PM »
Fascinating thoughts and stories - here is one more:

My son's grandfather left one grandchild $50.000 plus a pick-up etc. and the other two grandchildren received $500. each:)
The interesting thing was that the grandkid who scored, is the one already very well established financially.
He had his reasons I'm sure, but I was still furious to see it. What mother doesn't want her son to be treated equally?
Took me a moment or two to come around and say, it is his money to do with as he pleases.
There was a great deal more to this story and to the estate which went to his wife and we did not see any of that - which again, was entirely his/her affair.

I never told my son about the inequality, I just made sure that all he ever saw was the check for $500. I doubt he ever gave it a moment's consideration - he's not made that way. Me on the other hand - I simmered for a while:), but in the end - it really was not for me to say:)


QUOTE: "On the comment about the lottery tickets:
One thing I've noticed about myself...when I'm generally happy and pleased with my progress in life, I do not buy lottery.  I feel like I can do it on my own and my hard work will be rewarded.  But when I'm having a particularly shitty time at work and I just want out as soon as possible, I go and spend a few bucks on lottery and daydream of hitting the big one.  It's just the opposite of what should happen -- only playing when I can afford to and refraining when extra money in my pocket would help me meet my goals faster.  But that's how my brain works.  Anyone else follow the same patterns?"


Yup - same here. I like to play during the holidays and around the New Year and whenever things in my life are not going my way, as in, I can least afford it. When I'm doing fine and all goes well - it is easy for me to save like crazy.

 

RFAAOATB

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #215 on: March 21, 2017, 05:23:37 PM »
Fascinating thoughts and stories - here is one more:

My son's grandfather left one grandchild $50.000 plus a pick-up etc. and the other two grandchildren received $500. each:)
The interesting thing was that the grandkid who scored, is the one already very well established financially.

While I don't know the specifics of this case, if I was going to leave an unequal inheritance, the bigger share would go to the one who already has more.  Just as we talk of national wealth inequality, the big thing coming up which those of us on this forum probably already feel is family wealth inequality.  When siblings of the next generation range from lawyers to junkies, I'll feel better giving my money to the lawyers and hoping their kids have a better use of it. 

Of course odds are I'll be trying to create a permanent generational spendthrift trust/endowment so who knows.

Sofa King

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Re: Unequal inheritance - what would you do?
« Reply #216 on: March 21, 2017, 07:38:30 PM »
If there are no genuinely extenuating circumstances, like a disability, I think it's a pretty rotten thing for parents to do. 

I concur!