Trying to grow my stache but

[Stlbroke]

In doing so I think I'm driving myself crazy. Like to the point I think I get heart palpitations.  I bought a house a few months ago and so far have done nothing to furnish or make it better. I need so many things like window coverings, furniture etc but I'm just too cheap to buy anything.  I have so many things I need to purchase like engagement ring, wedding, her student loans, family leave when we have kids, a kid! It's overwhelming. No one understands how I feel. My girlfriend has started to realize she will not be get the wedding of her dreams but a vending machine ring and a courthouse wedding lol. They all say well u can never plan for a kid.  We'll no I say bullshit I can because I can save money to take off work for three months and not miss the paychecks if I save now.  Sometimes I think I should just forget about about compounding interest and just worry about immediate interests for about two or three years to catch up with what I need to make life better right now.  I'm 34 and am already way behind in equity(170k and 352 payments remaining) and 401k(25k)  with about a $1000 monthly savings rate.

[marty998]

ok whoa man take a breath. Otherwise you really will have a heart attack

I bought an apartment 4 years ago. I still do not have furniture. My life is no worse off because of it. My arse can only sit on one chair at a time, so I do not need a 12 seater dining set and 2 x 3 seater Italian leather lounge + recliners.

About the rest. You can purchase an engagement ring, or you can be thoughtful about it. If she is sentimental, she may with either a little or a lot of persuasion (you can tell I know nothing about engagement ring etiquette) permit you to re-use stones from family heirlooms?

Also there's nothing in the rule book that says you have to get married as soon as you are engaged. I've got a friend who has been engaged for 7 years.

$170k is not a walk in the park but not insurmountable. Many here have those sort of housing loans and are diligently paying them off in more difficult circumstances than yours.

[Thegoblinchief]

Cheap and frugal are not the same things.

A cheap person finds spending money painful and consequently has a lot of friction in making money decisions.

A frugal person aligns spending with values.

What do you value?

[usmarine1975]

I agree with above slow down take a breath.  There is not an award somewhere down the line that says He did everything right.  In the end we all die and what we have or do not have matters very little at that point.  The point in all of this is to be happy and I don't mean in the way the commercial shows you being happy because you have the newest bike with the newest tires. 

Take your time figure out what you want and make goals or steps to get to that point.  But and this is a big But ENJOY Today and if you get to Tomorrow enjoy it as well.  We don't know how many days we have on this earth and freaking out about a day that we may not have really makes no sense. 

At 34 you are still young enough to make the changes you need to make and move forward.  I have sat down with 70 year old's in harder situations then yours.  Relax and move forward.