The Money Mustache Community
General Discussion => Welcome and General Discussion => Topic started by: cthoops on June 20, 2018, 02:37:52 PM
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In December of 2012 we were hair-on-fire in debt. We had a mortgage, over $100,000 in student loans, and over $37,000 in credit card debt. Then we discovered YNAB and MMM. Flash forward 5 1/2 years later and the house has been sold, credit card and student loan debt is gone, our lives have totally changed, and I've quit my job.
We have an old sailboat that we had been refitting with plans to sail wherever we wanted to with a departure date of September, 2018. Then, this past Christmas Eve I took DH to the Emergency Room. He ended up with a congestive heart failure diagnosis (he's 58 years old and had been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation approximately six years ago, but it hadn't bothered him). After a one week stay in the ICU and another week in the heart failure unit, he was released.
To say our lives had been permanently changed would be an understatement. At the least we figured our dreams of sailing away had been put on hold for at least a year, maybe more. He could no longer work, and I was going to need to stay in my utterly unsatisfying job with health insurance for awhile. But it was what is was, and at least we had already sold the house, moved into a 2 bedroom apartment, and could live on one income.
Four months later my father died. He was one of the two most important men in my life (DH being the other). I decided to take a one month leave of absence from my job and do some serious soul searching. Two weeks into it, I knew I had to quit. As I said to DH, "Nothing has changed. You're still sick, dad is still dead, but I feel So. Much. Better." It was the job. Something I had known all along, but now I finally had the resolve to do it.
So I did. My leave of absence is over at the end of the week, so on Monday I'll go back to work for six weeks, with the option to work part-time for another four weeks if they haven't hired a replacement yet. My absolutely last day is September 4th. DH has improved so we are hoping to leave on the boat on September 5th (returning via rental cars or airplane flights every three months for medical appointments) but if for some reason we are delayed we will move into a studio apartment on the shoreline until next spring.
What about money? We have $200k in our 457(b) accounts earning a guaranteed 4% which we shouldn't have to tap into for another year and a half. DH will be able to collect social security in another three years, and may qualify for SSDI which means Medicare two years after qualifying. Once he starts drawing social security, that plus the interest from our 457(b) will be enough to live on, allowing us to maintain the principal. I'll COBRA our health insurance to the end of the year and then we'll sign up for the health exchange.
Is it risky? Hell, yes! But I'm choosing time with my DH over money. He may do well for years, or he could deteriorate and be dead within a few years. It's a progressive, chronic disease with no real predictability. I can pick up work here and there if I need to, but with our mandatory expenses so low (i.e. zero debt payments - we only need shelter, clothing, food, and health insurance) I can work part time as a waitress if I want to, and that will be fine with me.
I still feel stunned by the whole thing, but I know it's going to work out. I read a saying a few weeks ago - "Leap, and the net will open". I've leapt, and it feels so good.
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I think spending time with your DH while he is still alive, and relatively in good health(at least able to get up and move around and not require constant care) is far from the stupidest thing you could ever do.
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Sounds very much like you are doing the right thing!
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Good for you!
Best of luck to you and your husband on his health.
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(((cthoops))).....fellow Husky fan?
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Oh, boy. I'm along for the ride. Can't wait to see how your life opens up when you leave the job behind.
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This may be the wisest thing you have ever done. Best wishes.
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A few years ago I retired under 'risky circumstances' also. In the first year I ended up spending time helping my father with daily wound care. While he felt unsettled about me spending so much of time helping him, it was 'OK' since I was retired. Each day we shared some experience that had nothing to do with the wound care. He then died of a sudden heart attack. Yes the money part was a little scary but I have no regrets. So glad I was able to take that time with him.
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Carpe Diem, baby!
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Congratulations on such a big decision! I bet you feel very "alive"!
All the best,
Liz
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My wife's childhood friend just passed away suddenly this weekend at age 46. A cousin passed away suddenly last year at age 49. A friend's brother passed away last year at age 52. And I've known many friends who've lost friends in their 40s and 50s. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Nothing stupid at all in what you're doing.
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I agree with previous comments. You have the right priorities, you are smart and resourceful and will figure out the money part. As a cancer survivor myself I know that every day is a gift. Sounds like you know that too. Sending you and your DH lots and lots of good wishes.
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I think it sounds like a very smart (and wise) decision. You've both done the hard stuff to get to the point where this choice is even a possibility, and that's the whole point of all of it, right? I'm very sorry for the loss of your dad, and I hope you have many, many years to enjoy with your husband.
On a side note, you may qualify for a special enrollment for an ACA health plan since you're leaving your job. It's worth looking into since COBRA can be really freaking expensive.