$400 a month HOA for a single family home is absurd. What are they going to do . . . pave your development entry road in gold?
We have a single family home and the community has a community pool & park. The <$35/month HOA dues goes to upkeep of the pool, park, and other common areas (signs and lights at the development entrances, removing dead trees from common areas around the park, etc.)
I find answers like this well-intentioned, but really frustrating, and also a gateway to my answer. What you should commit to depends on what is the norm for your area. If you can find a deal like the one outlined in Zamboni's answer, then great! Go for it, but
only if it's at or below the norm for the area. And you must investigate the fiscal health of the HOA. Remember that any property within an HOA can be hit by a special assessment, no matter how low the dues are. And HOA dues virtually always go up.* Count on it, and plan for it.
Another thing to know is that HOA fees can serve as an anchor to resale value. In your shoes, I would challenge myself to see what else is out there and make sure you're getting the most bang for your hard-earned buck. Also, be sure to compare like to like. What does each HOA include? If it includes all utilities, insurance, landscaping, building maintenance and a decent assortment of amenities, it could be worth it, but only if it's at or below local comps.
True story: We have rentals in a Senior Community. A few years before we met them, our now-favorite tenants bought a retirement home in a fancy golf course community because he loved to play golf. Eventually, he got to the point he couldn't play any more and didn't care that his luxurious country club townhome was on the golf course. They put the townhome on the market and sold it for a loss, due to the outrageous HOA. He then rented our place, in a community with two golf courses, but a pay-as-you-play program. His entire rent, for a similarly sized home with more amenities, is less than the HOA fee alone was at their old place.
He and my husband have really hit it off, and they chat often. Every time, he tells my husband how much they love the house and marvel over how much less it's costing them. DH always offers to sell them the house and/or raise their rent. They all laugh, but it's a steady reminder to us to be careful what you are committing to when you buy into an HOA. We do not love the one we have, but the costs are far less than the surrounding area, and we're able to attract high-quality tenants, so we put up with it.
One more thought: If you do buy anywhere, plan on attending meetings and eventually getting on the board. In one place I lived, there was a special assessment proposed to replace the roofs. I asked if they all had to be done at once. The roofer's assessment was that we could do two per year for three years. Result? The subsequent years were easier to do because of what they learned with the first two roofs, which lowered costs even more. The HOA was able to cash flow the project, eliminating the need for a special assessment. All because I was on the board and asked the question. I was terrified of having to pay the special assessment, which would have been about 4-5 months of mortgage payments. That alone was worth every minute spent being on the HOA Board, plus I got to know a lot of my neighbors, for the win.
*On another HOA board, we were so well funded that we lowered the dues slightly one year and skipped the annual increase the next year. Would you believe some people were upset? Can't please everyone, no matter what you do.