The things people say...that irk you

[Sojourner]

I hate when people use 'myself' when they mean 'me' or 'I'.  I think they think it sounds more erudite:

"Harry came with Gina and myself."

+1

Maybe I'll try to start an annoying trend of people saying "Plus one" in conversation.  Or maybe it's already out there.

[FLA]

I can't stand my kids cursing but DS is 18 and a man, so he can keep cursing and find out how far he gets at work, etc. He has taken to saying, "Jesus Christ, you don't get it!" Or similar.

So now when he says Jesus Christ, I stand up and look around the place we are having lunch and excitedly say, "where? where? I don't see him!" A couple once overheard us and said, "he's in the bathroom, there's a huge line," lol. 

or I tell him no need to be so formal when addressing me, Jesus is fine. 

[TheBuddha]

The word "experience". It's everywhere and I don't know why.

I recently saw a sign in a restroom, "We strive to provide a clean restroom experience". *Facepalm* Why not just, "We strive to provide a clean restroom"?

[radtek2112]

When people pronounce social security "sosal security". You don't say sosal media or ice cream sosal do you?

A second to "I know, right?"

[Letj]

When people don't know when to use an vs a like in "I would like a ice cream cone".

[Dee]

Re: A / An -- I tend to say "a accident" rather than "an accident" and it's become a bit of running joke with my partner. I think it's the only word I do it with.

Many of my linguistic pet peeves have already made their way into this thread (e.g. "veggies") but two that haven't yet appeared:

Not pronouncing the "s" in certain plurals like "2 beer" or "2 pair".
 
Saying someone "is" a certain condition rather than having that condition, as in, "He is ADD" / "I am OCD."

[o2bfree]

"Excuse me," when said for no good reason. Like when I'm going into the break area to use the microwave, and someone is there taking their food out. They see me and say, "Oh, excuse me!" I want to say, "Why, did you fart or something?" The assumption on their part seems to be that I'm outraged that I can't IMMEDIATELY do my thing, GOD FORBID I should have to wait 30 seconds.  Makes me feel like an ogre.

[Dollar Slice]

The assumption on their part seems to be that I'm outraged that I can't IMMEDIATELY do my thing, GOD FORBID I should have to wait 30 seconds.  Makes me feel like an ogre.

I'm still vaguely uneasy about something like this at the grocery store a week or two ago - I arrived at the escalator at the same moment that another woman did (with her partner in tow). I made a little gesture and said "go ahead," so she smiled back and went on the escalator. Then the guy who was with her followed, but turned to me and apologized as he walked past.

I can't figure out why he thought he had to apologize! I keep thinking I must have accidentally given them a mean look and now I feel bad about it.

[NoraLenderbee]

"It is what it is."

That one's always irritated me.  It's pretty much the same answer as 'Because'...which isn't an answer.

[Tom Bri]

Using 'consumer' for 'person'. Excuse me? Is that all I am, an eater?

[FLA]

obstensivebly 


try, just try, to not use the big words when you know not what they mean or how to say/spell them

this was my boss's favorite "word" and it was clear she did not know really what it meant because it was never used properly. Enough years of this, people are silently weeping clown tears trying to choke back laughter and desperately trying not to catch anyone's eye

[bigstack]

Something I just noticed... when you search a word on Google ... I knew it gave a definition.... I had no idea it would give a timeline of usage in books. Thought that was pretty cool.

[the_gastropod]

1. "We should error on the side of caution". Error is a noun, not a verb. You err on the side of caution.
2. "Football is worst than soccer". Worse, dammit!
3. "I want grilled cheese an tomato soup". Dude. It's "and". Just spell it out. It's amazing how many people do this.

[englyn]

Now I want a toasted cheese sandwich and tomato soup!

[shelivesthedream]

I hate when people use 'myself' when they mean 'me' or 'I'.  I think they think it sounds more erudite:

"Harry came with Gina and myself."

Ugh.

No.

"Myself" is for reflexives. "I saw myself in the mirror."

I do actually correct people on this one sometimes. Like a bank employee who says: "Just fill in the form and return it to myself." Me: "Return it to ME."

It's all Alan Sugar's fault.

[GreenSheep]

Austin Powers: "Allow myself to introduce... myself."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67E42LQsU24

[Adram]

And/or

mainly because there is a word for that already, and the word is "or". "Or" means one, the other, or both. If you want to specify you can only have one of the following you say "either a or b". If someone comes into my house, and I say would you like something to eat or drink. It is assumed they could have both. At least, I don't think people who hear me offer hospitality that way think that I am an asshole for limiting them to either one or the other. So clearly, "or" still has the same functional meaning as "and/or".

What the hell... "Or" does not mean both. This really irks me.

[justajane]

And/or

mainly because there is a word for that already, and the word is "or". "Or" means one, the other, or both. If you want to specify you can only have one of the following you say "either a or b". If someone comes into my house, and I say would you like something to eat or drink. It is assumed they could have both. At least, I don't think people who hear me offer hospitality that way think that I am an asshole for limiting them to either one or the other. So clearly, "or" still has the same functional meaning as "and/or".

What the hell... "Or" does not mean both. This really irks me.

This is interesting. I've never thought of this before. I think halfshellmeijin is technically correct, but language does evolve. And in this case, I think people use and/or to remove the ambiguity of whether the intention is either/or or both. I don't imagine someone would use it in the case above regarding eating or drinking, since it is clear that the host is offering both. But in other cases it might not be as clear, and as long as it is not formal writing, I don't see the problem.

I'm glad you all brought this up, because while I don't use this construction myself, I am an editor and have left it in technical dissertations before. Its main problem is that it is stilted. In the future, I might find ways to fix it.

But regardless, do people actually say and/or that often? It seems like it would be written more.

[teen persuasion]

And/or

mainly because there is a word for that already, and the word is "or". "Or" means one, the other, or both. If you want to specify you can only have one of the following you say "either a or b". If someone comes into my house, and I say would you like something to eat or drink. It is assumed they could have both. At least, I don't think people who hear me offer hospitality that way think that I am an asshole for limiting them to either one or the other. So clearly, "or" still has the same functional meaning as "and/or".

What the hell... "Or" does not mean both. This really irks me.

In common usage most people think of "or" as meaning one of two choices, but in logic "or" means simply that at least one of the choices is "true".  "And" means that both choices are "true".  "Xor" is used to designate one and only one choice is "true".

[LiveLean]

Starting a conversation with "To tell the truth", or "truthfully".  I always assume everything I'm going to hear after this is a lie.

I believe it was the movie Ruthless People where Danny DeVito's character said, "I never trust anyone who says 'frankly' because I assume they must be BSing me the rest of the time.

He had a more memorable scene in that movie about how to deal with wrong number phone calls.

[StashthatCash]

I hate when a company says their culture is "Work hard, play hard."  Absolutely hate it....

[nobodyspecial]

In common usage most people think of "or" as meaning one of two choices, but in logic "or" means simply that at least one of the choices is "true".  "And" means that both choices are "true".  "Xor" is used to designate one and only one choice is "true".

Yes but it is really annoying to have to ask a computer scientist if they want:  tea OR coffee AND NOT nothing

[Chranstronaut]

I hate when a company says their culture is "Work hard, play hard."  Absolutely hate it....

Hah, this is what my company says.  What they really mean is, "Work 60 hour weeks all year long, have an open bar at the Christmas Party."

[sheepstache]

Starting a conversation with "To tell the truth", or "truthfully".  I always assume everything I'm going to hear after this is a lie.

I believe it was the movie Ruthless People where Danny DeVito's character said, "I never trust anyone who says 'frankly' because I assume they must be BSing me the rest of the time.

That was Other People's Money. Also a terrific movie.

And/or

mainly because there is a word for that already, and the word is "or". "Or" means one, the other, or both. If you want to specify you can only have one of the following you say "either a or b". If someone comes into my house, and I say would you like something to eat or drink. It is assumed they could have both. At least, I don't think people who hear me offer hospitality that way think that I am an asshole for limiting them to either one or the other. So clearly, "or" still has the same functional meaning as "and/or".

What the hell... "Or" does not mean both. This really irks me.

This is interesting. I've never thought of this before. I think halfshellmeijin is technically correct, but language does evolve. And in this case, I think people use and/or to remove the ambiguity of whether the intention is either/or or both. I don't imagine someone would use it in the case above regarding eating or drinking, since it is clear that the host is offering both. But in other cases it might not be as clear, and as long as it is not formal writing, I don't see the problem.

I'm glad you all brought this up, because while I don't use this construction myself, I am an editor and have left it in technical dissertations before. Its main problem is that it is stilted. In the future, I might find ways to fix it.

But regardless, do people actually say and/or that often? It seems like it would be written more.

In common usage most people think of "or" as meaning one of two choices, but in logic "or" means simply that at least one of the choices is "true".  "And" means that both choices are "true".  "Xor" is used to designate one and only one choice is "true".

Yes but it is really annoying to have to ask a computer scientist if they want:  tea OR coffee AND NOT nothing

No, again,"or" can mean and/both to regular people. If I say "I want an email list of all the people who are on the MMM forum or the Bogleheads forum" and you come back to me with a list that's missing people because they're on both forums so you assumed I didn't want them, I will look at you like you're crazy.
That is 'inclusive or".
'Exclusive or' is when it's one or the other but not both. If you have one dollar, you can spend it at Starbucks or put it in your IRA. Obviously in that context, you can do one or the other but not both.

Regular english uses BOTH, with the same word. Logic and computer science make a distinction and call them different things.

[thurston howell iv]

I shocked by the amount of annoying things people say! 
I have only a few to contribute:

1. When people start an answer with SO.
2. The word AMAZING
3. Using "like" continuously (my niece does this- makes me crazy)
4. Seriously?!??! Also after every sentence. Sometimes at the beginning of a sentence.
5. Honestly?!? (same tone as above- sort of valley girl)
6. ebonics (all of it and all the other made up slang- know I mean? (Trevor Noah does a bit on this in one of his specials)
7. public speakers who use: like, um, and um, uhhh, I mean,  etc.
8. "realtor" spoken as real-a-tor (by ACTUAL realtors! ) Ugh.
9. "I mean, right?"  (huh?)
10.  dude, bro, brah
11. for realz? (anything misspelled on purpose with other letters added - lately lots of "z's") lolz, haz cheeseburger, etc.
12. hoon
13. righteous, dude
14. all the stupid abbreviations- "what evs"
15. "mind blown" and the accompanying hand gesture- (sofa-king stupid.)
16. Not spoken as much as written- all the internet/text acronyms (WTF?= why the face?- Phil Dunphy on Modern Family) LOL= Lots of love - my mom (when she sent a text condolence to someone who had recently lost a family member) -- That one cracks me up every time. Yes, I'm evil.

 
I'm sure I could go on and on but, this is what I have thus far.

[RetiredAt63]

The thing with "I could care less" is that it should end with "?" not "."  As in, "I could care less?" in a sarcastic questioning tone, to imply that there is no way I could care less. Just not in me. Definitely cannot care less.  Of course this doesn't work well written down, it needs the voice and the curled lip and the raised eyebrow to go with it.

Off Topic Grammar Nazi has even more of these "goodies" if you would care to visit.

[bacchi]

I plan to renumerate the invoices tonight.
I will remunerate the invoices tonight.

One and/or the other works. So both work, irregardless.

[Hank Sinatra]

Thurston jogged my memory:

1) Awesome. Whatever it is, in most cases it's likely just regular. At best it might be pretty good.  It's like "far out!" was, back in the early 70's. Nothing I saw was ever out that far.

2) Jewlery (Jew-la-ree) instead of Jewelry  This one is in the same category as "nuclear" and "nucular"

3) Calvary when they mean Cavalry. The  Cavalry comes to rescue. On HORSES. Calvary is mentioned in The Bible as a hill where The Crucifixion supposedly took place. Totally unrelated.

[Dollar Slice]

4. Seriously?!??!
5. Honestly?!?
9. "I mean, right?"
11. for realz?

With all of these on your list, I'm surprised you left off 'Really??'  My brother and a good friend both picked that up while they were living in California in the 2000s and now my mom has picked it up from my brother and uses it constantly.

[iwasjustwondering]

Use of the passive voice in writing.  Except where it is necessary because the subject of the verb is unknown or purposefully irrelevant.  It is especially annoying where the author has the audacity to actually include the subject of the verb in the sentence while still using passive voice.  "The ball was thrown to her by him."  Incorrect!  "He threw the ball to her." 

It seems people use the passive voice in an effort to sound formal.  At best they end up making a sentence that is hard to read.  At worst, they create ambiguity that results in confusion or the need for followup communications.

Passive voice is deliberately vague.  It's used by people who share information only grudgingly.  They have miserly souls and don't want to share too much information, even if sharing doesn't cause them any harm.  These same people are the ones who use "they" to refer to an individual, because heaven forfend they let the listener know the sex of the person in question.  "I was in the library and someone came up to me.  They asked where the bathroom was." 

It's also used to create a bit of confusion in the corporate world.  "Mistakes were made" is the classic example here.  If there's no subject, then there's no one to blame. 

[thurston howell iv]

4. Seriously?!??!
5. Honestly?!?
9. "I mean, right?"
11. for realz?

With all of these on your list, I'm surprised you left off 'Really??'  My brother and a good friend both picked that up while they were living in California in the 2000s and now my mom has picked it up from my brother and uses it constantly.

Hmm. I must have forgotten that one. I was visiting my 17 year old niece a few months ago and it was "seriously" every other word. Not so much on the "really" - DW says that a lot.

Now that I think of it another thing that irks me is the piss- poor spelling (I know, I know it's a thread for annoying sh*t people say but, really?) see what I did there? :)  Sometimes I'll get a text from one of the kids and I literally cannot decipher wtf they're trying to say! I must be getting old.  I'm not an English major and I'm sure I screw up a lot but at least I can make myself understood.

[shelivesthedream]

It really irks me when people try to correct me for using "one" instead of "you". This used to happen at school all the time. (Especially translating from the French "on peut" - one can vs you can.) I don't use it often, but sometimes it is the most appropriate word!

I do probably use the passive more than most. I like it. Not in a weaselly corp-speak way, but I just find it pleasant.

I am also irked by people failing to use the subjunctive for "If I were" vs "If I was". Pet peeve from French and Spanish lessons at school. It's so delicious! "The mood of possibility!" Surely one would want to use it as often as possible!

[nobodyspecial]

11. for realz?

[o2bfree]

Stop and think. What does it mean when you tell someone that everything happens for a reason? Or that God has a plan? Really?! You want to tell a widow that her husband died for a reason that might be God's plan?! Sounds like the quickest way to make someone an atheist.

I feel like I got a bit worked up over that. Whew!

People occasionally say to me, "what do I say to them?" before visiting the patient and spouse. I'd tell them, "I am sorry you are going through this. I want to help, think about what would be most helpful and I will call you in a few days to find out what works for you." And then really make that call and be prepared with suggestions. It's common to say "what can I do to help", spouse exhausted, says, "IDK," so they don't get help. Almost anything you can think of that is not a platitude is better than one of them.

I suggest to the bereaved to designate a close friend (but someone outside of the immediate circle of grief) to direct all those well meaning people who want to help.
It's a rare time when people really will help, they just don't know how or don't want to be in the way. But little things like house cleaning, getting someone's car washed, dry cleaning, picking up prescriptions, can be a huge help. And you can only fit so many lasagnas and deli trays in a fridge, plus it's a time when they rarely feel like eating anyway.

Good advice!

There's a book titled, "How to Say It: Choice Words, Phrases, Sentences, and Paragraphs for Every Situation" that covers this and many other potentially awkward situations. I've brought it to work a couple times when someone's loved one has died unexpectedly, and people found it really useful.

I think it's tactless when someone or someone's family member survives an accident or illness and the person says, "God was watching out for me/him!" Like God didn't give a d*mn about other people who've suffered and died in similar situations. "Your kid survived cancer? That's great! Mine died. I guess God didn't care about him."

[Cwadda]

And YES to "less" vs "fewer." I loved it when Stannis corrected (under his breath) someone who made that mistake in GAME OF THRONES.

Less cake. Fewer crumbs.

I still get annoyed by you're, your, there, their, and they're because this gets taught in 3rd grade. And I don't want to call people out on it because it's a jerk move.

[EngineerMum]

Using the word barbecue as a verb.  Barbecue is a noun meaning pork (or in some areas beef) cooked in a certain way.

Not in Australia. Here barbeque is the cooking apparatus on which you undertake the cooking, the method of cooking, the event at which that kind of cooking provides the meal, the meal cooked in this fashion, but almost never the specifically the meat. Oh and you can definitely barbeque things other than beef and pork - chicken, fish, vegetables, seafood, lamb, even certain kinds of cheese are all in the realms of possibility.

[GreenSheep]

I am also irked by people failing to use the subjunctive for "If I were" vs "If I was". Pet peeve from French and Spanish lessons at school. It's so delicious! "The mood of possibility!" Surely one would want to use it as often as possible!

Yes!! I forgot about this! It appears to be becoming mainstream, which makes me sad.

[tofuchampion]

I work at a hospital as a CNA. There is another CNA on the opposite shift who, when doing shift-change rounds, will say to the patient, "We're shift-changing!" No. We're *changing shifts.* And she always says it before I can get in first with the correct version.

+1 to "with Bob and I," etc. This seems to be a fairly recent phenomenon - I only started noticing it a couple of years ago.

"Might could," "Used to could," etc.

Blue Cross/Blue Shield of NC's current slogan is "Live Fearless," and every time I see one of their ads, I mentally change it to "fearlessly."

Adults (patients at work, usually) who use words like "potty," "tinkle," etc.

[accolay]

-Super

-The difference between lecturn and podium.

[MustachianAccountant]

People who use "DH, DW, DS," etc. on forums to talk about their family members.
Dear Husband? Really?
I'd like to smack the person who started that.

[2lazy2retire]

"reach out"

"circle back"

" 'eck'cetera"

+1000 to "reach out" - not like they are saving someone in distress

[AmandaS1989]

"Might could," "Used to could," etc.

Blue Cross/Blue Shield of NC's current slogan is "Live Fearless," and every time I see one of their ads, I mentally change it to "fearlessly."

Adults (patients at work, usually) who use words like "potty," "tinkle," etc.

Oh I hate it all of these too. It makes me want to grind my teeth when I hear that 'used to could. And I change the 'live fearless' to 'fearlessly' too. Grown adults using baby words is so annoying. How can you take a grown person seriously if they still say 'tinkle' or 'potty'?

[kpd905]

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

[2lazy2retire]

It is what it is.

I detest this phrase for multiple reasons.  I consider it to be the equivalent of whatever.  My tendency is to discount people who use these phrases instead of doing things like thinking, or making a positive step toward changing it.

An ex-girlfriend said it frequently instead of doing anything to improve her situation.  We didn't last long.

Someone in my chain of command at work likes to use this also--instead of implementing solutions, he throws out that phrase.

 this on sticks in my head, many years back on a first trip to the US a baggage guy pretty much relieved us of our bags to "help" us to check-in at the airport, all the cash I had on me was $1, on handing it over his comment was "It is what it is"

[2lazy2retire]

I think everyone in the football industry (at least coaches and anyone talking about it on TV) is required to say the word "football" as much as possible. I don't watch much football at all but it drives me crazy when I do. If you watch any games this weekend pay attention to how often it's said when a simple "ball" or "game" or "team" or "field" or "player" would suffice.

Commentator during the game: "That number 21 is a real football player. This football team has a lot of potential this year."
Sideline reporter after the game: "Coach, your football team really had a great comeback tonight!"
Coach: "Yeah, I'm really proud of this football team. We've got a lot of young football players but they really came together tonight for the win."

Oh yeah - multiply that 100 times when you know they are not really playing football in the first place, also Americans talking about visiting Europe

[bigstack]

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

:)

[MandalayVA]

Now that I think of it another thing that irks me is the piss- poor spelling (I know, I know it's a thread for annoying sh*t people say but, really?) see what I did there? :)  Sometimes I'll get a text from one of the kids and I literally cannot decipher wtf they're trying to say! I must be getting old.  I'm not an English major and I'm sure I screw up a lot but at least I can make myself understood.

My oldest niece is like that.  Once she sent me a text that was so hideously misspelled and punctuated I asked her if she'd had a seizure while she was writing it. 

[h82goslw]

Well done KPD905....well done.  Or should it be done good? 😀

[teen persuasion]

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

I always have the captioning enabled on my TV, to help me catch details if I couldn't quite hear them.  Live captioning often makes me laugh with the crazy phrases that are substituted because they sound similar.  It would be terrible to be completely deaf and have to rely on CC for news, etc.

I read an e-book that was reminiscent of the above, but not intentionally!  I could only guess that the author dictated it into a voice recognition program, and never looked again.  I should have known better than to continue reading when the first paragraph contained "shall" instead of the obviously intended "shawl": "She wrapped her shall around her shoulders."

[Dollar Slice]

I read an e-book that was reminiscent of the above, but not intentionally!  I could only guess that the author dictated it into a voice recognition program, and never looked again.

I read an e-book that substituted "Cod" for "God" every time it came up in the text, which was pretty hilarious in almost every context.