Author Topic: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.  (Read 204916 times)

Hirondelle

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #600 on: June 19, 2018, 10:41:20 AM »

And what's wrong with men wearing makeup. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm 100% against it and I'll make fun of my friends if they do, but why :?

I consider myself about as progressive as they come, and while I cannot logically come up with an actual reason why not, something about seeing men in makeup gives me the uber-creeps. I'm not proud of that, but it's there.

I do know some guys that wear make up and I don't see the problem, though I really had to get used of it before it felt 'normal' to look at a heavily make-upped guy. All of those guys are gay/queer though, so it does seem to come with a certain stereotype.

I bet there's quite a bunch of guys out there who put some very light concealer or foundation on to hide spots/acne. Expressive make up like eyeshadow and lipstick, yeah probably not much.

Warlord1986

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #601 on: June 19, 2018, 10:44:43 AM »

And what's wrong with men wearing makeup. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm 100% against it and I'll make fun of my friends if they do, but why :?

I consider myself about as progressive as they come, and while I cannot logically come up with an actual reason why not, something about seeing men in makeup gives me the uber-creeps. I'm not proud of that, but it's there.

Honestly, it's probably just what you're used to. Very few people grew up seeing men in make-up, and sometimes new things can be jarring. If you saw it more often, you would probably get used to it, and the uber-creeps would go away.

GuitarStv

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #602 on: June 19, 2018, 11:28:12 AM »

And what's wrong with men wearing makeup. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm 100% against it and I'll make fun of my friends if they do, but why :?

I consider myself about as progressive as they come, and while I cannot logically come up with an actual reason why not, something about seeing men in makeup gives me the uber-creeps. I'm not proud of that, but it's there.

I do know some guys that wear make up and I don't see the problem, though I really had to get used of it before it felt 'normal' to look at a heavily make-upped guy. All of those guys are gay/queer though, so it does seem to come with a certain stereotype.

I bet there's quite a bunch of guys out there who put some very light concealer or foundation on to hide spots/acne. Expressive make up like eyeshadow and lipstick, yeah probably not much.

I've always figured that the best makeup isn't really noticible . . . so maybe the men you've noticed with it on just don't really know what they're doing?  There are certainly a fair share of scary looking heavily made-up women too.   :P

FIRE@50

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #603 on: June 19, 2018, 11:37:14 AM »
I'm not a fan of women with a lot of makeup on either. I did see a lot of "nude makeup" being advertised at the mall today though. I like that trend.

ChpBstrd

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #604 on: June 19, 2018, 02:21:29 PM »
If clowns are now scary, why is heavy makeup still considered stylish?

HBFIRE

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #605 on: June 19, 2018, 03:15:01 PM »

And what's wrong with men wearing makeup. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm 100% against it and I'll make fun of my friends if they do, but why :?

I consider myself about as progressive as they come, and while I cannot logically come up with an actual reason why not, something about seeing men in makeup gives me the uber-creeps. I'm not proud of that, but it's there.

Ha, yeah.  This goes further for me.  I consider all makeup pretty creepy and fake.  It's essentially no different than wearing a mask. 

asauer

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #606 on: June 20, 2018, 05:39:03 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

kanga1622

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #607 on: June 20, 2018, 06:50:44 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

My problem is I actually want to be IN the photos with my family. I take a ton of photos of my kids an my husband is often in them but every year when I make our photo books I realize that I'm only in a handful of pictures for the year. The yearly photo album might have 350 photos and I am probably in about 5. I'd like my kids to remember what I looked like and that I participated in their life when I am gone. :) We are trying to figure out a time my brother or his wife could take some pictures of us at a park or some outside venue to update our "family picture" on our wall.

Hula Hoop

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #608 on: June 20, 2018, 07:08:12 AM »
I don't get pancake mix.  I make pancakes every Sunday morning for my family and it's one of the simplest and easiest recipes I know.  Just one step above making scrambled eggs.  In fact, my almost 10 year old sometimes makes the batter herself.  It's a couple of eggs, some milk, some flour, salt and a teaspoon of baking powder.  Why on earth would someone buy a mix for something that simple?

Hirondelle

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #609 on: June 20, 2018, 07:09:37 AM »
I don't get pancake mix.  I make pancakes every Sunday morning for my family and it's one of the simplest and easiest recipes I know.  Just one step above making scrambled eggs.  In fact, my almost 10 year old sometimes makes the batter herself.  It's a couple of eggs, some milk, some flour, salt and a teaspoon of baking powder.  Why on earth would someone buy a mix for something that simple?

I have the same feeling about several baking/cake mixes! The recipes are sooo easy by themselves and the mixes are full of additional unnecessary ingredients.

plainjane

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #610 on: June 20, 2018, 07:27:29 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

I've been finding my friends are doing family portraits that are specifically set up to not be sitting and smiling, but instead are what I'd characterize as Instagramish posed action photos. So the kids in the front making a sand castle, while the parents are behind them out of focus & kissing. Or everyone on swings, etc.  Though it still feels very performative and external presentation focused. I don't really get it either.

Dicey

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #611 on: June 20, 2018, 07:39:48 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

I've been finding my friends are doing family portraits that are specifically set up to not be sitting and smiling, but instead are what I'd characterize as Instagramish posed action photos. So the kids in the front making a sand castle, while the parents are behind them out of focus & kissing. Or everyone on swings, etc.  Though it still feels very performative and external presentation focused. I don't really get it either.
OMG, you nailed it!

mak1277

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #612 on: June 20, 2018, 07:44:53 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

I've been finding my friends are doing family portraits that are specifically set up to not be sitting and smiling, but instead are what I'd characterize as Instagramish posed action photos. So the kids in the front making a sand castle, while the parents are behind them out of focus & kissing. Or everyone on swings, etc.  Though it still feels very performative and external presentation focused. I don't really get it either.

I believe that most professional photographers take pictures that are so much better than you can take on your iPhone that this might be worth it.

I also believe that people who claim that their home cooked meals are better than restaurants are completely full of it, so take my opinion for what it's worth.

FIRE@50

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #613 on: June 20, 2018, 07:50:16 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

My problem is I actually want to be IN the photos with my family. I take a ton of photos of my kids an my husband is often in them but every year when I make our photo books I realize that I'm only in a handful of pictures for the year. The yearly photo album might have 350 photos and I am probably in about 5. I'd like my kids to remember what I looked like and that I participated in their life when I am gone. :) We are trying to figure out a time my brother or his wife could take some pictures of us at a park or some outside venue to update our "family picture" on our wall.
The family selfie is the solution to your problem. We have one of those big frames with like 10 smaller pictures in them. I would guess that about 8 of them are selfies. Also, I'm always amazed by how many random strangers will offer to take a picture for me.

FIRE@50

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #614 on: June 20, 2018, 08:50:41 AM »
I don't get people that demand apologies.

Some jerk does something jerky and someone demands an apology from the jerk as if that changes anything.

MDfive21

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #615 on: June 20, 2018, 10:39:42 AM »
"Such and Such ruined my childhood!" 

I get it that something you fondly remember has been rebooted and looks terrible by comparison, but that hardly "ruined" the memories of your childhood.  Unless you're really susceptible to marketing and the power of suggestion.  It sucks that our children will form their memories of the subject around this inferior reboot, but if it matters to you that much I'm sure you can figure out a way to show them the original version that is so damn important to you.

While he didn't ruin memories of the original, George Lucas has done his damndest to make it difficult to find a copy of the original Star Wars movies.  The one that you probably watched in your childhood, without the ridiculous and nonsensical changes (Han shooting first, the unnecessary added scene with Han talking to Jabba, changing the song in Jabba's place, ruining the climax of return of the Jedi by sticking in a  NOOOOOO by Darth Vader, all the strange changes made at the victory celebration, etc.) by refusing to allow the release of the originals.

George Lucas is a dick for trying his best to ruin the original Star Wars movies.

i agree that the 'special' versions are terrible.  look for the despecialized versions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmy%27s_Despecialized_Edition

torrents are your friend, though i think some sites have them for download.

EricL

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #616 on: June 20, 2018, 04:01:17 PM »
Allegedly progressive democrat Miguel Santiago votes to gut net neutrality.  This clown is supposedly slightly left of Fidel Castro.  But when it's crunch time, he takes AT&T's money and runs. 

https://mashable.com/2018/06/20/net-neutrality-california-miguel-santiago/#7l5lc8E47mq2

I called his office.  I was not polite.  I called the California State Democratic Party when I was calm enough to be polite.  The guy who answered should go to the Republican Party as poster boy when they claim Democrats are "dismissive and arrogant."  After him hanging up on me 3 times I finally got my displeasure across.  Surprisingly without profanity.  Not that it helped.  I knew I was barking up the wrong tree. 

DreamFIRE

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #617 on: June 20, 2018, 04:19:25 PM »
I don't get pancake mix.  I make pancakes every Sunday morning for my family and it's one of the simplest and easiest recipes I know.  Just one step above making scrambled eggs.  In fact, my almost 10 year old sometimes makes the batter herself.  It's a couple of eggs, some milk, some flour, salt and a teaspoon of baking powder.  Why on earth would someone buy a mix for something that simple?

What a hassle.  I never even considered making pancake mix.  I actually prefer getting a similar breakfast just by toasting an Eggo and avoiding having to mix anything.  But I don't have those often, either.

Morning Glory

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #618 on: June 21, 2018, 03:45:12 AM »
I don't get family portraits.  So many of my friends and neighbors are spending bunches of money on them this summer.  I get that they want pictures of their family.  I just find portraits to be inauthentic and a waste of $.  My kids are very animated and on the go.  So are my hubby and I.  Having a photo of us all sitting down with medium smiles and head tilts just seems wrong.  The photos I take with my phone and camera while we're on a hike or out in the yard are much better reflections of us as a family.  And those are the ones I send to Walmart to be enlarged for $15 and hung on the wall.

I've been finding my friends are doing family portraits that are specifically set up to not be sitting and smiling, but instead are what I'd characterize as Instagramish posed action photos. So the kids in the front making a sand castle, while the parents are behind them out of focus & kissing. Or everyone on swings, etc.  Though it still feels very performative and external presentation focused. I don't really get it either.
OMG, you nailed it!

Newborn photography has gone too far also. I saw some people at the park putting a poor little baby into a metal bucket, right in the middle of the bike path, presumably for photography purposes. Baby was naked and the adults were wearing jackets. I've had some pretty bad experiences with wedding photography too.

I'm a red panda

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #619 on: June 21, 2018, 07:20:01 AM »
My coworker does family photos twice a year. It seems excessive to me - though I love the idea every 3 or 4 years.
We don't have any good photos of my husband, my daughter, and me; so I see the appeal of professional photos. 

My husband did amazing newborn and monthly first year photos of our daughter. The lighting and backdrop were a small fraction of what a newborn session would have cost.


What I -really- don't get is maternity photos.  Do people really hang half naked photos of themselves with a pregnant belly?  I mean, once you have the baby- don't you mostly just want pictures of the baby? 
I've been pregnant  twice and never felt the urge to run through a field with a flower crown wrapped in organza.  What do people DO with those pictures?

Sailor Sam

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #620 on: June 21, 2018, 07:46:07 AM »
I realize this is rant thread, and rebuttals aren't necessarily necessary or welcome. Think of this as a public service announcement instead. Get some sort of photo with the full family, because even children aren't immortal.

My brother died when he was 18. My mum was dutiful about purchasing school portraits each year, and there are pictures in may combinations of parent+kid(s). There are zero pictures with us as a full, unbroken, pre-damage family. I grieve the missing presence of that photo.

Roadrunner53

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #621 on: June 21, 2018, 08:35:12 AM »
Way back when camera's came into existence but hardly anyone owned one, when a family member died they sometimes hired a photographer to pose and take pictures of the dead person. They would have special set ups to have the person standing or sitting in a favorite chair. Or in the case of a baby they would sometimes have it in its mothers arms or in a crib or cradle. https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/haunting-post-mortem-photography?utm_term=.cume4mLmq#.fxNmP696G

Schaefer Light

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #622 on: June 21, 2018, 08:35:39 AM »
What do photo lovers do when there's a divorce in the family?  Do you throw them all away?  Cut one person out of the picture? ;)

FIRE@50

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #623 on: June 21, 2018, 08:44:07 AM »
Way back when camera's came into existence but hardly anyone owned one, when a family member died they sometimes hired a photographer to pose and take pictures of the dead person. They would have special set ups to have the person standing or sitting in a favorite chair. Or in the case of a baby they would sometimes have it in its mothers arms or in a crib or cradle. https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/haunting-post-mortem-photography?utm_term=.cume4mLmq#.fxNmP696G
I've seen something like this before. Death was certainly treated differently in the past than it is today. I think in the past, death was much more common and felt closer to most people. Meaning, it wasn't all that rare to see a dead person and it didn't feel out of place to touch one. Look at those pictures of people posing in the town square after a public hanging. I really don't get that!

I guess what I'm getting at, is that I've never seen a dead person outside of a funeral and I'm not up for touching any dead people. I know it is much different for first responders of course.

I'm a red panda

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #624 on: June 21, 2018, 09:32:30 AM »
I realize this is rant thread, and rebuttals aren't necessarily necessary or welcome. Think of this as a public service announcement instead. Get some sort of photo with the full family, because even children aren't immortal.

My brother died when he was 18. My mum was dutiful about purchasing school portraits each year, and there are pictures in may combinations of parent+kid(s). There are zero pictures with us as a full, unbroken, pre-damage family. I grieve the missing presence of that photo.

Not having that photo is really hard. I'm sorry.

I always grieve that the only photo I have with my son (he was stillborn) is truly awful. The place where I gave birth didn't work with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep or other trained bereavement photographers, so I have only a really poorly light snapshot. I see other women's photos and am truly jealous. I have a photo of his face, but it is extraordinarily difficult to look at because he was so deformed. The doctor who took the picture apparently didn't think to do the classic "newborn baby feet" photo, as his feet were perfect. I wish I had that one.

I guess what I'm getting at, is that I've never seen a dead person outside of a funeral and I'm not up for touching any dead people. I know it is much different for first responders of course.

I volunteer with a non-profit organization that raises money for, among other things, "cuddle cots" in hospitals.  These are chilled bassinets that help keep a deceased baby/toddler's body from decomposing. Apparently, for up to 2 weeks (in some countries they get sent home with families to spend time with their loved one, in the US, it is usually just to extend the time by a few hours that a family can stay with the baby).  I was telling my Mother about this, and she was so grossed out about it, she just thought anything more than a minute or two was too much. I got about 10-15 minutes with my son, I know a few people whose toddlers were taken from them after just minutes to get an autopsy started. But the Moms I know who had their children in the room with them for a few hours speak so fondly of that time they got with them.  Something like that would have been amazing- to not feel like you have to hand the baby off so quickly.

Other than my son, I don't think I've seen a dead person outside of a funeral.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #625 on: June 21, 2018, 10:16:40 AM »

<snip>


Thanks for this @i'm a red panda.  I have never heard of cuddle cots, but I think it is an absolutely beautiful idea. 

My mom died at home with family at her side, and we didn't call the funeral home for about an hour or so.  It was very meaningful to all of us to have that last time with her before her body was taken away.  I can imagine it would be even more so when grieving the death of a child.  I often think that as a society we are too distanced from dying and death. 

sonjak

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #626 on: June 21, 2018, 06:53:53 PM »
I'm so sorry you had that experience, Red Panda.  I think it's neat that you're helping soften that memory by helping others. 

I recently read Caitlin Doughty's "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes."  It's a memoir about a woman who works in a crematorium/funeral home and deals with the issues raised in these two recent posts.  She talks a lot about how paranoid/freaked we are about death and as Trifele says, distanced from it, and dispels many myths.

She created a youtube channel "Ask a Mortician" which is pretty entertaining and informative:
https://www.youtube.com/user/OrderoftheGoodDeath/featured

I cared for my mom the weeks when she was sick and was there when she died and was grateful to have that experience.  I had a similar experience, Trifele.  She was able to die peacefully at home, I cared for her body before it was taken for cremation, etc.

Imma

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #627 on: June 22, 2018, 07:27:43 AM »
I realize this is rant thread, and rebuttals aren't necessarily necessary or welcome. Think of this as a public service announcement instead. Get some sort of photo with the full family, because even children aren't immortal.

My brother died when he was 18. My mum was dutiful about purchasing school portraits each year, and there are pictures in may combinations of parent+kid(s). There are zero pictures with us as a full, unbroken, pre-damage family. I grieve the missing presence of that photo.

Not having that photo is really hard. I'm sorry.

I always grieve that the only photo I have with my son (he was stillborn) is truly awful. The place where I gave birth didn't work with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep or other trained bereavement photographers, so I have only a really poorly light snapshot. I see other women's photos and am truly jealous. I have a photo of his face, but it is extraordinarily difficult to look at because he was so deformed. The doctor who took the picture apparently didn't think to do the classic "newborn baby feet" photo, as his feet were perfect. I wish I had that one.

I guess what I'm getting at, is that I've never seen a dead person outside of a funeral and I'm not up for touching any dead people. I know it is much different for first responders of course.

I volunteer with a non-profit organization that raises money for, among other things, "cuddle cots" in hospitals.  These are chilled bassinets that help keep a deceased baby/toddler's body from decomposing. Apparently, for up to 2 weeks (in some countries they get sent home with families to spend time with their loved one, in the US, it is usually just to extend the time by a few hours that a family can stay with the baby).  I was telling my Mother about this, and she was so grossed out about it, she just thought anything more than a minute or two was too much. I got about 10-15 minutes with my son, I know a few people whose toddlers were taken from them after just minutes to get an autopsy started. But the Moms I know who had their children in the room with them for a few hours speak so fondly of that time they got with them.  Something like that would have been amazing- to not feel like you have to hand the baby off so quickly.

Other than my son, I don't think I've seen a dead person outside of a funeral.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Red Panda. I worked in funeral services for a while and I know that in my country most parents choose to take home their child and spend a few days with them before the funeral. I believe spending time with a loved one's body is an important part of the grieving process.

Imma

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #628 on: June 22, 2018, 07:41:09 AM »
What do photo lovers do when there's a divorce in the family?  Do you throw them all away?  Cut one person out of the picture? ;)

This is a huge issue for me. I did not grow up in a happy family and it's hard for me to look through those pictures. In the end my parents were married for more than 25 years before they finally divorced. Looking back now, the clues were there decades earlier, not just in my head, but in the physical evidence. There are very few pictures that include both of my parents and if they are in one picture, they try to keep each other literally at an arm's length. This physical distance started very early in their marriage. We haven't thrown away the pictures yet (one of my parents is actually pushing me to frame a few of the "happy" pictures) but sometimes I wish we would.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #629 on: June 22, 2018, 07:47:34 AM »
What do photo lovers do when there's a divorce in the family?  Do you throw them all away?  Cut one person out of the picture? ;)

This is a huge issue for me. I did not grow up in a happy family and it's hard for me to look through those pictures. In the end my parents were married for more than 25 years before they finally divorced. Looking back now, the clues were there decades earlier, not just in my head, but in the physical evidence. There are very few pictures that include both of my parents and if they are in one picture, they try to keep each other literally at an arm's length. This physical distance started very early in their marriage. We haven't thrown away the pictures yet (one of my parents is actually pushing me to frame a few of the "happy" pictures) but sometimes I wish we would.

If it was genuinely unhappy the whole time, I understand.  My situation is similar (parents divorced after 28 years of marriage), but I still have many happy memories from childhood.  Going back through those old pictures is still a positive undertaking.

Schaefer Light

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #630 on: June 22, 2018, 08:18:26 AM »
What do photo lovers do when there's a divorce in the family?  Do you throw them all away?  Cut one person out of the picture? ;)

This is a huge issue for me. I did not grow up in a happy family and it's hard for me to look through those pictures. In the end my parents were married for more than 25 years before they finally divorced. Looking back now, the clues were there decades earlier, not just in my head, but in the physical evidence. There are very few pictures that include both of my parents and if they are in one picture, they try to keep each other literally at an arm's length. This physical distance started very early in their marriage. We haven't thrown away the pictures yet (one of my parents is actually pushing me to frame a few of the "happy" pictures) but sometimes I wish we would.
That's tough.  I imagine it would be difficult for the child of a divorced couple.  My experience with this has been that of a spouse going through divorce.  Once I realized my wife wasn't coming back, I got rid of literally every photo I was in that was taken over the past 8 years (because every time I was in a picture, so was my wife).  There will be no photo evidence that the last 8 years of my life even happened.  Luckily, there were no kids involved. 

I don't enjoy having my picture taken, but looking through the photos might have been the most emotionally challenging aspect of the whole divorce process.  You ask yourself some gut-wrenching questions when you're looking at pictures of the happy couple that you used to be a part of.  I am glad that we both seemed to be genuinely happy in all of our photos together.

Roadrunner53

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #631 on: June 22, 2018, 08:41:32 AM »
I don't get sizes on women's clothes. I have two pairs of jeans from Dress Barn. They are both Westport brand. Both are the same size. Each have some embellishment on them. However, One fits very well and the other the waist is like 6 inches smaller. I order a top from one company and I order another the same size from another company. One is too small one is too big or if I am lucky it fits just right. Why isn't there some kind of standard in sizes? I do a lot of ordering on line and I also send back a lot of stuff due to sizing issues. Why isn't there some law that makes clothing sizes standard?

I know a lady who was shopping for a party dress and ordered it on line. She bought 3 different sizes (same dress) knowing that two wouldn't fit right. She tried them on and got one that fit and sent two dresses back. How stupid are these sizes?

FIRE@50

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #632 on: June 22, 2018, 08:50:04 AM »
I don't get sizes on women's clothes. I have two pairs of jeans from Dress Barn. They are both Westport brand. Both are the same size. Each have some embellishment on them. However, One fits very well and the other the waist is like 6 inches smaller. I order a top from one company and I order another the same size from another company. One is too small one is too big or if I am lucky it fits just right. Why isn't there some kind of standard in sizes? I do a lot of ordering on line and I also send back a lot of stuff due to sizing issues. Why isn't there some law that makes clothing sizes standard?

I know a lady who was shopping for a party dress and ordered it on line. She bought 3 different sizes (same dress) knowing that two wouldn't fit right. She tried them on and got one that fit and sent two dresses back. How stupid are these sizes?
Most companies have a sizing chart that you can reference when purchasing online.

As for two of the same sized items not being the same? That is a product of mass production. They stack up a bunch of fabric and try to cut it all at once. Ever try to cut a straight line on like 20 sheets of paper at once. It just doesn't work. I think higher quality brands do a better job at, well, maintaining that quality.

FindingFI

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #633 on: June 22, 2018, 08:55:20 AM »
I don't understand excessive follow-up and status updates on the same topic in a very short timeframe.  I have a coworker that will send half a dozen emails on the same topic within an hour, then leave me a voicemail further explaining the emails, and drop by my desk to discuss before I've managed to even get through all of the previous communication on the topic, never mind look at the issue at hand!  How am I supposed to answer your question if you won't stop bombarding me with correspondence?!

Roadrunner53

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #634 on: June 22, 2018, 09:28:51 AM »
I don't get sizes on women's clothes. I have two pairs of jeans from Dress Barn. They are both Westport brand. Both are the same size. Each have some embellishment on them. However, One fits very well and the other the waist is like 6 inches smaller. I order a top from one company and I order another the same size from another company. One is too small one is too big or if I am lucky it fits just right. Why isn't there some kind of standard in sizes? I do a lot of ordering on line and I also send back a lot of stuff due to sizing issues. Why isn't there some law that makes clothing sizes standard?

I know a lady who was shopping for a party dress and ordered it on line. She bought 3 different sizes (same dress) knowing that two wouldn't fit right. She tried them on and got one that fit and sent two dresses back. How stupid are these sizes?
Most companies have a sizing chart that you can reference when purchasing online.

Yes, they do have sizing charts but they do no good when you order the same size in two different styles and one fits and the other doesn't. Six inch difference in waistline is way off the charts. There needs to be quality control if they can't cut the patterns correctly. This Westport brand seems to be better quality but everything is junk today. Annoying!

As for two of the same sized items not being the same? That is a product of mass production. They stack up a bunch of fabric and try to cut it all at once. Ever try to cut a straight line on like 20 sheets of paper at once. It just doesn't work. I think higher quality brands do a better job at, well, maintaining that quality.

Schaefer Light

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #635 on: June 22, 2018, 10:38:48 AM »
I don't get sizes on women's clothes. I have two pairs of jeans from Dress Barn. They are both Westport brand. Both are the same size. Each have some embellishment on them. However, One fits very well and the other the waist is like 6 inches smaller. I order a top from one company and I order another the same size from another company. One is too small one is too big or if I am lucky it fits just right. Why isn't there some kind of standard in sizes? I do a lot of ordering on line and I also send back a lot of stuff due to sizing issues. Why isn't there some law that makes clothing sizes standard?

I know a lady who was shopping for a party dress and ordered it on line. She bought 3 different sizes (same dress) knowing that two wouldn't fit right. She tried them on and got one that fit and sent two dresses back. How stupid are these sizes?
It's not just women's clothes.  I have the same trouble with men's clothes.  I bought a pair of pants that was the same size, make, and model as a pair I already owned and they were about 2 inches bigger in the waist than the pair I already had.  My other complaint is that the sizes aren't accurate.  I bought a pair of pants recently with a 32" waist.  When I tried them on, they were waaaaaay too big.  So I measured them and they had a 36" waistband.  I guess I should have been looking for pants in a 28" waist size.  Is that done to make me feel skinny?  I'm an engineer and it makes no sense to me.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #636 on: June 22, 2018, 10:55:06 AM »
I don't understand excessive follow-up and status updates on the same topic in a very short timeframe.  I have a coworker that will send half a dozen emails on the same topic within an hour, then leave me a voicemail further explaining the emails, and drop by my desk to discuss before I've managed to even get through all of the previous communication on the topic, never mind look at the issue at hand!  How am I supposed to answer your question if you won't stop bombarding me with correspondence?!
When people do this I see it as a form of micromanaging

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #637 on: June 22, 2018, 03:10:51 PM »
I don't understand excessive follow-up and status updates on the same topic in a very short timeframe.  I have a coworker that will send half a dozen emails on the same topic within an hour, then leave me a voicemail further explaining the emails, and drop by my desk to discuss before I've managed to even get through all of the previous communication on the topic, never mind look at the issue at hand!  How am I supposed to answer your question if you won't stop bombarding me with correspondence?!
When people do this I see it as a form of micromanaging

It is.  And it's usually based in the manager's personal fear plus a distrust in subordinates.  This is very common in the military, where subordinates often spend as much time writing reports, SITREPS, and updates to soothe the big chickens at their higher HQ as they do actually doing the mission, if not more.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #638 on: June 22, 2018, 03:39:11 PM »
I don't understand excessive follow-up and status updates on the same topic in a very short timeframe.  I have a coworker that will send half a dozen emails on the same topic within an hour, then leave me a voicemail further explaining the emails, and drop by my desk to discuss before I've managed to even get through all of the previous communication on the topic, never mind look at the issue at hand!  How am I supposed to answer your question if you won't stop bombarding me with correspondence?!
When people do this I see it as a form of micromanaging

Or...it could just be a person who has trouble focusing and lacks the patience to think completely through an issue before firing off a half-baked e-mail (and another, and another as they think through the problem and dump excessive information on you in a stream-of-consciousness manner).  I've worked with a handful of people like this, and I don't think it was micromanaging so much as high energy + ADHD and/or ASD.

FindingFI

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #639 on: June 23, 2018, 02:53:43 PM »
I don't understand excessive follow-up and status updates on the same topic in a very short timeframe.  I have a coworker that will send half a dozen emails on the same topic within an hour, then leave me a voicemail further explaining the emails, and drop by my desk to discuss before I've managed to even get through all of the previous communication on the topic, never mind look at the issue at hand!  How am I supposed to answer your question if you won't stop bombarding me with correspondence?!
When people do this I see it as a form of micromanaging

Or...it could just be a person who has trouble focusing and lacks the patience to think completely through an issue before firing off a half-baked e-mail (and another, and another as they think through the problem and dump excessive information on you in a stream-of-consciousness manner).  I've worked with a handful of people like this, and I don't think it was micromanaging so much as high energy + ADHD and/or ASD.

This may be what's going on since it's either work I have assigned to him or a project on which we are equals, rather than work he has assigned to me.  I get unrequested play-by-play updates rather than thoughtful communication at milestones.  It may also be a bit of insecurity since he usually wants my input before making decisions or when the questions are tough. My style is way more hands-off, and I find the flood of information to be highly distracting.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #640 on: June 23, 2018, 09:31:40 PM »
I don't get people who think carbon emissions are the only form of environmental impact. Yes, it's helpful to try to compare apples to apples, but there are loads more ways we can fuck up the planet. For example, nappies. Everyone says, "Oh, but you use energy washing cloth!" like that's some kind of magic free pass to make disposables fine. Er... Landfill?!?!! A nappy can take centuries to break down. The torrent of filth streaming into open pits bothers me way more than a bit of electricity and water which we CAN renew.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #641 on: June 24, 2018, 02:24:32 AM »
I don't get people who think carbon emissions are the only form of environmental impact. Yes, it's helpful to try to compare apples to apples, but there are loads more ways we can fuck up the planet. For example, nappies. Everyone says, "Oh, but you use energy washing cloth!" like that's some kind of magic free pass to make disposables fine. Er... Landfill?!?!! A nappy can take centuries to break down. The torrent of filth streaming into open pits bothers me way more than a bit of electricity and water which we CAN renew.

I agree. Like, carbon emissions are important, but there are also the many many tons of plastic waste everywhere, the depletion of various non-carbon non-renewable resources, pollution, pesticides, shrinking amounts of wilderness, etc... People act like they can do something and if they offset the carbon emissions it'll all be fine, but they forget about all these other aspects.

Hula Hoop

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #642 on: June 24, 2018, 02:39:17 AM »
I don't get people who think carbon emissions are the only form of environmental impact. Yes, it's helpful to try to compare apples to apples, but there are loads more ways we can fuck up the planet. For example, nappies. Everyone says, "Oh, but you use energy washing cloth!" like that's some kind of magic free pass to make disposables fine. Er... Landfill?!?!! A nappy can take centuries to break down. The torrent of filth streaming into open pits bothers me way more than a bit of electricity and water which we CAN renew.

I agree. Like, carbon emissions are important, but there are also the many many tons of plastic waste everywhere, the depletion of various non-carbon non-renewable resources, pollution, pesticides, shrinking amounts of wilderness, etc... People act like they can do something and if they offset the carbon emissions it'll all be fine, but they forget about all these other aspects.

I agree.  We cloth nappied/diapered both our kids and most people thought we were batshit crazy.  And, unfortunately, they refused to use cloth at daycare so we had to sent plastic disposable diapers with them to daycare.  The cloth diaper thing was really no big deal.  My husband was kind of against it at first but once he realized how easy it was he was totally fine with it.  We used the most old fashioned option (Indian prefolds bought on Ebay) as they were the simplest and hardest to ruin in the wash.  Washed around once every 2-3 days and hung them in the sun or on the heater to dry. 


Anyway, I had friends who are way more 'crunchy hippy' than me who used disposables.  The disposable diaper companies have really convinced people that cloth nappies are incredibly difficult.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #643 on: June 24, 2018, 04:20:10 AM »
I don't get the straw issue.  Do people realize that Starbucks' paper cups are plastic coated and therefore cannot be recycled? SB generates So. Much. Trash. Straws are the tip of the iceberg.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #644 on: June 24, 2018, 04:31:08 AM »
I don't get the straw issue.  Do people realize that Starbucks' paper cups are plastic coated and therefore cannot be recycled? SB generates So. Much. Trash. Straws are the tip of the iceberg.

I agree.  Same with all those plastic take out containers and endless plastic bottles.  Also packaging.  I'm trying my best to cut down by buying bar shampoo and soap, not buying plastic water bottles, using reusable bags at the markets etc. but it just feels pointless when I look at all the plastic we recycle - plastic milk bottles, plastic yoghurt containers, plastic bags for rice, beans, plastic meat containers....

We don't get take out apart from pizza that comes in cardboard boxes and I drink all coffee either at the coffee bar or at home

Do you know if tetrapaks are just as bad for the environment as plastic bottles?  I suspect the answer is yes.

Roadrunner53

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #645 on: June 24, 2018, 04:43:41 AM »
I don't get the straw issue.  Do people realize that Starbucks' paper cups are plastic coated and therefore cannot be recycled? SB generates So. Much. Trash. Straws are the tip of the iceberg.

I agree.  Same with all those plastic take out containers and endless plastic bottles.  Also packaging.  I'm trying my best to cut down by buying bar shampoo and soap, not buying plastic water bottles, using reusable bags at the markets etc. but it just feels pointless when I look at all the plastic we recycle - plastic milk bottles, plastic yoghurt containers, plastic bags for rice, beans, plastic meat containers....

We don't get take out apart from pizza that comes in cardboard boxes and I drink all coffee either at the coffee bar or at home

Do you know if tetrapaks are just as bad for the environment as plastic bottles?  I suspect the answer is yes.


Yes, I believe the Tetra Packs are bad too. They are layered in plastic and foil material. I don't think they are recyclable at all.

The Government should have strict regulations on packaging materials. When I was a kid there was very little plastic. We used wax bags for sandwiches, thermos bottles for milk or soup. No plastic soda bottles, they were glass and there is nothing more awesome to drink soda from a cold bottle on a hot, humid day! There is no incentive or real punishment for companies to use earth friendly packaging. The bottom line is cost. Bring the cost of the packaging down no matter what it takes. Have some of you noticed that buy 16oz bottles of water is that they basically cut the size of the cap horizontally making it very hard to twist off. Another cost cutting measure. Plus, now the plastic on the bottles is so thin, when you open the bottle water gushes out due to the thin sides and pressure opening the bottle. GRRRRR!!!! The only good thing is that they are recyclable.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #646 on: June 24, 2018, 08:45:49 AM »
You can still buy wax sandwich bags, btw. Or a reusable sandwich container.

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #647 on: June 24, 2018, 08:51:46 AM »
I don't get the straw issue.  Do people realize that Starbucks' paper cups are plastic coated and therefore cannot be recycled? SB generates So. Much. Trash. Straws are the tip of the iceberg.

I think originally it was more meant as an awareness thing. It's also that straws are per definition unnecessary (except for certain disabled people) while the cups at least serve a more useful purpose. If restaurants/cafes/coffeeshops would stop serving straws it wouldn't solve the plastic soup by any means, but it would be a step in the right direction :)

Unfortunately I do believe that now people feel good about doing minor things like refusing a straw while ignoring the "big impact" items.

Note; guilty myself too. Plane ticket anyone?!

Hula Hoop

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #648 on: June 24, 2018, 08:57:14 AM »
Yeah, I pat myself on the back for not owning a car while booking 4 plane tickets back to the US every summer for the family. 

I bought a whole bunch of reusable, washable zippable sandwich bags on Amazon last time I was in the US - they are great.

OtherJen

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Re: The 'I Don't Get It' thread. Rants accepted.
« Reply #649 on: June 24, 2018, 09:08:47 AM »
You can still buy wax sandwich bags, btw. Or a reusable sandwich container.

Yep. And insulated stainless steel or glass bottles in various sizes.