YOU GUYS.
Just now I was getting ready to level up my procrastination game, so I went to this horoscope website I frequent whenever I'm trying to avoid work and have already run out of interesting articles and youtube videos.
THE SITE HAS A HOROSCOPE FOR BITCOIN.
I kid you not. There is a whole article describing the relationship of the stars or whatever and their possible influence on bitcoin. They made a natal chart for bitcoin and everything. Apparently, it tells us that bitcoin is "open to new ideas" and there will likely be a "dramatic rise or fall" in value before February. (Guess all those "investors" should have checked bitcoin's horoscope first lololol)
Behold:
http://www.astro.com/astrology/iam_article180117_e.htmYou're welcome.